How to instigate reciprocal foreplay. (F 43) - (m42) three years
Hello, first time poster so fingers crossed I don’t jaff this up.
I ‘43f’ have been in a relationship for 3 years with my ‘42m’ partner. Early on in the relationship he advised me that he had had male partners but wasn’t gay, he just liked the sensation.
I have occasionally accommodated this, and provided some him time with some bedroom accessories. No issue, not my fav thing but I think it’s good that we all get what we need.
We are both alright with our sex drive, but I found that I occasionally have been losing mine mid foreplay.
The reason for this is, I’m the one doing all of the foreplay. The other night he lay back for 45 mins and took oral (until my mouth dried up and I couldn’t continue). By this point it had become a chore, and I wasn’t in any way aroused.
Anyway, the only way to move on from this so I could go home was to attempt sex. It hurt… a lot!
I want to add that he isn’t always like this, sometimes he does try… a little, but it doesn’t happen often and it doesn’t last long. I think this is because I’m quite ‘messy’ and he doesn’t want to get hit in the face with a canon! Fair I guess, but I feel very disconnected from him and don’t know how to bring this up.
Advice, is there a way to discuss this with him that doesn’t sound unreasonable, or is there another way to stay connected that doesn’t require him to be a conduit of reactive intimacy?