u/AdministrativeAir879

I'm 29 and my dad has terminal cancer, though he's fine for now. He was 12 years old sober before he relapsed and it all started when he was diagnosed with cancer. I went living back home with my parents since this happened because they're old and I fear for my mom and want to help her not carry this weight all alone. Also they're old, dad is 74. He cannot take his chemo pills if he's drinking. I'm spending money I don't have on a med that is supposed to take away his desire to drink and also on meds to detox him at home with his psychiatrist's guidance. All of this with my really new good job.

All this situation led me to Burnout December last year and it took me 5 months to recover.

I lose my temper with him. I wish he was dead already. Sometimes I want to kill him from all this chaos, sadness, helplessness, worrying, tiredness and all the other overwhelming feelings he brings home.

He never really contributed financially home and I'm tired of him, but I can't (even legally) remove him from home, even though the house is legally mine, because laws in my country protect old people and I could even be charged with abandonment of an old person, neglect, and get arrested. There's a lot of laws that protect old people here.

I just got home from work and he's drunk. He was sober for 3 days. We detoxed him. I went sleepless nights with my mom having to work while he was facing delusions, hallucinations and severe agitation. I don't want to go through it again. Detox him just for him to go back to drinking a few days later.

There's no resources left. His family doesn't care. No government resources. I'm in debt and not spending all the money with several meds to detox him again. I don't have credit on my cards, goddamn it. And he needs his cancer treatment.

Please share some tips. I don't want to lose my mind again. I just want to cry. I don't know what to do. I already do therapy and I see a psychiatrist, I just wish I could go to work without worrying how things are back home.