u/Admirable_Potential7

Husband and I having a hard time agreeing on a name together. We have until first week of January so not in a major rush, but still feels like we're not getting anywhere. I'm glad we know the gender now as at least that narrows it down some.

My one desire in choosing the name is that I really want a unisex name that still sounds feminine, or a feminine name that can be shortened to be unisex, see examples below.

My own name is Jamie and I've always really liked that element of my name, I work in a male dominated industry in the UK and I wouldn't even have my job today if they didn't schedule the interview thinking I was a man (sad but that's the world we live in). I also just think it would be a cute thing to pass down to her as well while still being unique to her.

My husband on the other hand keeps suggesting ultra feminine, old fashioned names, despite me having said I don't like these at all. Another thing is there's a bit of a cultural rift because I am American and he is British. So not only are the names he suggests very soft and feminine, but they also very British, and none of them feel right to me. On the other hand I don't want something that sounds too much of one or the other, they will be a dual citizen and I want them to have a name that can float between both worlds seamlessly, not just scream one or the other.

For more context here are some names he's suggested:

Olivia

Elizabeth

Lillian

(All with very feminine middle names added)

My name suggestions:

Reese

Andrea (Andie for short)

Maxine (Max for short)

I'm struggling to see how we can compromise here when we want such different things, any suggestions?

I wanted to share my story in case it helps anyone. It's perfectly fine to not be thrilled making this choice. It is hard. At 30 I made a horrible mistake with who I slept with, had no financial stability and my immigration status was also unstable. I chose to have a termination at 6 weeks.

Now 4 years later I am 6 weeks pregnant with a baby I am actually ready to bring into this world, and the experience has been completely different.

You are allowed to feel however you are feeling. My biggest advice is listen to your own heart, don't listen to these weird culty people whose entire personality is giving birth. Pregnancy when you want it can be magical, but is horrible when you don't.

Abortion is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, but I still feel I made the right choice. And It is still okay to grieve afterwards. I am Christian and I personally believe that I made the choice to send my baby's spirit to heaven instead of earth, and that's a difficult choice only a mother can make. A song that really helped me is "Giving you Back" by Robyn. She wrote this about her own abortion and it really resonated with me and how I felt.

Everyone has different beliefs and lack of beliefs and that's okay as long as they don't put them on you.

Without my abortion, I wouldn't be having this beautiful experience right now, I would have never met my amazing husband, be owner of a lovely home, and feel safe and secure in having a pregnancy and a baby on my own terms. A lot can change in 4 years.