28 mpg. It has never gone above 28. Its a 2025 Sport L, 14k miles on it and it has been like this since I bought it last year brand new. I rarely drive on highways. I mostly just drive around the neighborhood doing school runs for my kids. Lots of stop and start traffic, speed limit is between 15-25 mph. Lots of red lights. It's grandma driving conditions, no offense to grandmas, I'm a grandma myself. There is no weight in the trunk. Myself and 2 kids are the only occupants. I have it set on normal mode. I have never driven in eco or sport. What the heck is my car's problem? This has me wanting to trade it in for a Toyota or Mazda.

Income 210k before taxes

Debt 12k car loan, 5k home improvement loan, 67k mortgage, 1k credit card balance

Savings 14k

Just paid off a 27k car loan

We have 2 kids, family of 4 in the northeast, HCOL

My husband is a spender. He does not care about saving, he doesnt care about debt, he spends money, buys things he doesnt need, and when I tell him we have no cash to buy whatever random stuff he wants he responds back with, "we have plenty of money, I have 3 credit cards I can use" he has secret credit cards hidden and in the past he has taken out a 15k personal loan, didnt tell me about it, and blew the entire thing on fast food, gas station drinks, and junk. He had nothing to show for it when it was spent. We were at home depot today and he randomly wanted to buy a $300 battery and he would have if I weren't there to stop him. Last month he randomly spent $300 on batteries and phone chargers at best buy because I wasnt with him to say no. He spends hundreds of dollars impulsively every time he goes out to a store. He once spent our entire life savings on welding equipment and he isnt a welder. We would have a lot more in savings if he didnt do this kind of stuff.

I am the exact opposite. I am the reason we have any savings, I am the reason we just got one of our cars paid off, and I am the one who wants to pay off the rest of our debt. I hate having it. I know we would be in a better position if the debt was gone and our savings were stronger. I often go without to make debt payments. My husband calls me a prude for these things.

Our current fight is our bathroom and kitchen floors need redone. The bathroom for structural reasons and kitchen for cosmetic reasons. To save money we are going to do linoleum. We have a guy coming out next week to give us an estimate. The linoleum itself is only $1.37 a sqft so we dont think it will be overly expensive to do.

We have also talked about taking a mini 4 day vacation in june to a place we have been to before. With our floors needed done (bathroom NEEDS done, no exception) I told my husband we should skip the mini vaca. This made my husband furious. He started yelling at me and raising his voice. He called me a prude, told me you cant take money to the grave, and he wants to go, he doesnt care how much it costs because we have credit cards and we can put it all on credit. He also said credit cards were made for things like this and we can make the vacation payments over time so it wont affect our finances. He doesnt care if we take on more debt.

I tried to compromise. I told him if the floors were over 1k we cancel the trip, under 1k we could still go. He does not agree. Then I told him he can still go and take the kids but I'm staying home. One less person will make the trip cheaper He doesnt agree to that either. My 3rd compromise was we make the trip shorter and cut it from 4 days to 2. Nope, he also doesn't like that. I asked him what was his idea for a compromise since he doesnt like my ideas and he has none. He wants to do the 4 day trip and the floors no matter the costs for any of it.

What am I missing here? What other compromise could I come up with that he would accept? Am I being a prude about it? Is his whole "you cant take money to the grave" defense valid? In case it matters, the trip has not been booked so we would lose nothing canceling it. It's also only 3 weeks away so not really enough time to take on more work to come up with more money amd due to my husband's vacation time at work it can not be rescheduled (he has to put in for all his time off for the year in January and January is long gone)

My husband travels for work and is only home a few days a month. There are many holidays when he is gone but this memorial day luck happened and he will be home for 2 days.

About 2 months ago my family set up a BBQ. I offered to bring food and I told my husband about it. He agreed to go and I was excited that he was actually going to get to come since he misses almost every holiday and event.

Now a few weeks ago he told me his friend is also having a bbq on on the same day and he has decided to go to his friends bbq instead of ours so like every other holiday, I will be taking the kids and going alone except this time it wont be because he's a work but because he's just chosing not to be with us

At first I wasnt too upset but the more I think about it, Im becoming upset because he is hardly ever here to begin with, he never sees my family because he's always traveling, he's never here on the holidays, he hardly sees our kids, and now his friend is more important?

He says its normal for married couples/families to do their own thing. I agree if you're together all the time but he is hardly ever here so in our case he already does his own thing 90% of his life. He spends about 25 days a month on the road and 5 days a month in his own bed at home with us.

I dont know, i dont want to be a nagging wife and insist he come with us and then spend the day with him knowing he doesnt want to be with us. Am I overthinking this? Maybe I should just let it go? Should I insist he come with us? I dont know.

My husband had to pay a best buy credit card bill. For context, I didnt know he had a credit card and he lied to me when he said he didnt use it and there was no balance. He did use it and there was a $300 balance that he says he bought screen protectors and phone chargers so I was already unhappy about the lying and spending $300 on ridiculous stuff. I only found out about these things after the bill and card came in the mail. I had asked him a few weeks ago if he had any cards and he told me no.

He couldn't figure out how to pay the bill online so he had to drive out to the store. I offered to stay home with our child but he wanted us all to go to spend time together.

When we got there I told him I would wait in the car with our child and then I said, "dont rush" He took that "dont rush" literally and spent 50 minutes in the store and only came out because I started calling him because I was getting pissed off. The car had shut off on its own to prevent overheating, my child and I were sweating, my legs were burning from being in the sun, my kid was getting grouchy, and he was just in there browsing for the next junk he wanted to waste money on. He only came out because I called him and told him I was about to leave and he would have to find his own ride home.

Now he's angry at me because i told him "dont rush" and I'm angry at him because in my mind, you dont leave two people including a young child, sit in a hot car for nearly an hour while you browse a store. God knows how long he would have been in there if i hadn't called him to come out. Im also angry about him lying about the card and balance to begin with..

When I told him "dont rush" I was thinking he'd be in there for 15, 20 minutes max. I was not expecting him to spend nearly an hour inside and only come out after I called. With having a young child with us and it being hot, I thought this would be common sense to him but I guess not