u/Affectionate-Yam-113

Let me preface this by saying we are overall in a healthy relationship. She loves me and I love her too and we treat each other niceley except for this one thing.

She overshares things that I confide in her, and that bothers me as it affects my interactions with other people. Some examples was a party of one of her friends we went to, which I wasn't too excited to go and I told her, but I was still ready to just go talk to people and have a good time. Well her introduction of me to other people was "This is my bf, he doesnt know anyone here and he's too shy to talk to them". Well that sets the stage you know, the rest of the night I had people treating me like a fragile piece of glass and being like "you're doing good buddy, its fine".

Other one was a friend got us some coffee as a gift, which was very nice of them, but it didnt taste so great. So then she was texting with the friend and told her my bf HATES the coffee. Idk to me it just seems as common sense, to accept a gift politely and not talk shit about it even if you dont like it cause its rude.

Final one that triggered the fight was that this weekend we're planning a cycling trip, around 80km, which I've never done before so I had concerns, if its doable for someone with zero experience what do we need etc. So she calls the person we're arranging it with and prefaces everything by saying first my bf is afraid of doing this, he doesnt want to so we wanna know. So the stage is set again for some people I've never met that im afraid and dont wanna be there before we even start. Idk at least thats how I see it.

Anw to make a long story shorter I told her I would appreciate if she is a bit more considerate while talking to other people I dont know about me, and she got frustrated and told me I care too much about what other people think and that I'm overreacting since she was just being honest.

I also understand where she's coming from, she honestly doesnt see any harm in it and considers it normal, so I told her maybe I am overthinking it in a way but I'd still like her to respect what I ask, but now she's mad and not talking to me. So what do you think, AIO?

I used to be a relatively social guy, had lots of friends and people inviting me to things, nothing crazy but I also always had antisocial tendencies.

Well after school I moved to a different country for work and thats when my lonliness/antisocialness completely took over. I started smoking weed and got addicted to that and video games. My days were fully devoid of substance and I would only find joy in closing myself in my tiny apartment and playing games.

I hated that situation, I felt like I was wasting away but it was so hard to get out of, since somehow it made me feel comfort and isolated from the world.

Well fast forward a few years now, I got an amazing girlfriend, super motivated and accomplished, who hates smoking and has pushed me to quit, which I have, even though I do occasionally still smoke, maybe 2-3 times every couple months, but nothing compared to what I was doing before.

And even though I feel I should be out of it, I feel like my addiction still has a full grip on me, even though I dont even do it anymore it seems like I was rewired to have no motivation for anything else and to just want to hide myself and play games, and that's closing me off from people and friends I have here. Like even though my life has completely changed, it feels like it still has full control of me and affecting my decisions/happiness.

And thats what I'm asking for help with, and writing this here cause I imagine there's more guys that are going/went through this. How do you fight it, what do I have to do to reset that mindset? Has anyone managed to get out of this and what helped?