I don't know who I am anymore
This is a throw away account. I 26 (F) don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe because I don't know where else to put these thoughts.
Lately, I've been feeling like I've lost myself completely. I don't recognize the person I used to be. I feel empty, numb, and tired all the time.
I keep thinking about all the opportunities I wasted. I had dreams. I wanted a simple life a stable job, to take care of my parents, to make them proud. They gave me everything they could, and I wanted to give even half of that back. Instead, I feel like I'm disappointing them and myself.
There are moments when I think, "I wish I had never existed." Not because I hate my parents or my life, but because I'm so exhausted by constantly feeling like I'm failing.
I've lost confidence in myself. I don't believe in my abilities anymore. Every setback feels like proof that maybe I'm just not good enough.
I miss the version of me that had hope. I miss waking up with purpose. Now every day feels like I'm just existing instead of living.
I don't want luxury or fame. I never did. I just wanted a peaceful, ordinary life where I could earn honestly, support my family, and feel like I belonged somewhere.
If anyone has ever felt like this and somehow found their way back, I'd really like to know how.