u/AffectionateStory574

I recently did a post regarding a situation with my student.

The comments had tons of mixed responses which really got me thinking and I bought this topic up with some fellow paramedics at my station. We discussed the idea of having a student and how friendly you can be with them.

My favourite mentor back in the days was a lovely fella. Super friendly, asked about my family and friends and was involved in my interests. We were close in age, just a couple years apart, so discussed music and TV shows. I had a great relationship with him and meant I felt comfortable enough to be “vulnerable” - to do things wrong and not worry about being judged. I was also happy to ask questions and etc.

Some of my others weren’t the same. We would sit the shifts in literal silence because they would rather shit themselves than have a convo with me.

I guess I remember my favourite guy and try to do that with the many students I have. Ask about their interests, how they are finding uni, how they are. With my recent student going through a shit situation (which she is arguably exposed to in healthcare), we had a convo about how she’s been feeling. I had a student 2 years back whose mum died and we spent a lot of the shifts discussing it, many of which were in tears. She gave me a lovely card when she left to be a qualified paramedic.

My station is also a social friendly one, the students are invited to our away days and social activities

A colleague of mine (CTM, been working in the industry for 20 years) said she was talking to her mentee about their relationships

Another said (just finished NQP2) he spends the whole time discussing anime

Another said he just lets the tech talk to them he stays silent

So it’s for me wondering, what do you do with your student (apart from obvious clinical work) e.g. during downtime, when truck breaks down, lunchtime, etc?

What do you think is a step too far? Would never want to cross a boundary but realise that these boundaries are quite vague in this day and age. In a career like paramedicine, it’s hard to objectively separate life and work. We are exposed to all sorts, both good and bad and some close to our heart.

Teaching and mentoring is important to me but so is my career and registration. Never want to jeopardise it. I’ve been working for quite a long time and have never had professionalism questioned by any of the students I have ever had (or patients). No one else in my station has either.

Had a disagreement with the Mrs on this one so have come to Reddit

Have had a student for a while, almost for her full second year. Meant to switch but issues with staffing and uni communication issues meant she stayed longer. I haven’t complained as she’s lovely - super polite, tries hard, great at speaking to patients and their families, loves to ask questions. Genuinely a person interested in what she’s doing so very easy to teach. Also brings a bag of sweets or chocolate to every shift so no complaints from crew mates either.

We have gotten to know eachother quite well, e.g. from the classic “how has your week been” convo starter to more in-depth “where do you see yourself in 5 years”. At first she was quite timid but has really grown on me I think. Over the last couple of weeks I have noticed a change in her demeanour - lot more anxious, scared to get involved, etc. Asked about it, mentioned briefly she had a personal issue but had already spoken to uni about it, was sorting it out, etc. Nothing for me to do essentially, she had taken all the right steps. Did notice a little improvement but nothing like her past usual happy self.

My last round of shifts she was very tense. In front of patients she was great, skills performed great and very friendly and professional, but noticed as soon as she was back in the truck or in hospital, she almost shuts down. Noticed her crying at one point, and usually in lunch where we sit in the truck and eat, she would just sit on a bench nearby on the phone. Had a proper sit down with her at the end of shift and said she’s going through some tough shit in personal life, with some specific details, such has been affecting her mental health. She’s also weaning off nicotine which she says has been a really big addiction in the last year and recently started a new SSRI which is affecting her with a lot. All in all sounds really tough. Problem is she’s taken the relevant steps of speaking to her advisor, going to the GP plus summer is soon so she’ll have a break then. So as a paramedic mentor, I know she’s done what she needs to do. As a person, I want to help more?

I was a similar age to her when a situation like hers happened. She’s going through a rough patch and so I did have an hour long conversation with her, agreed we can take the next shifts easier. Said if she ever felt overwhelmed on shift she can let me know and we could chat. I did message a day after to check in and see if she was okay. My wife thought I was crossing a boundary messaging? Said it was unprofessional?

Unsure tbh. Feel if I was in my students position, would have appreciated a mentor who cared about me more that my student paramedic title. She’s going through a rough patch and I am treating her like I am treating a colleague. Wife says she isn’t a colleague but a student.

Anyone have any advice for how to deal with this? Generally really hardworking so upset to see how depressed she’s become towards the career when she would make a great HCP. How would you help a student going through a rough patch?

Haven’t spoken to anyone in my station about this as I sing want to break confidentiality/she spoke to me privately hence why I’ve come here

Reuploaded due to typing errors in title. Apologies.

I write this whilst sat in the middle of the park. I see kids playing, dogs running into the pond, people laughing and smiling. I feel detached from reality, like I am in an alternate dimension.

I joined medical school as a very mentally ill kid. Multiple inpatient admissions prior, took a year out of med school to go to rehab, you get the gist. Formed few friends and really had a shit time at uni but had a particular friend who was very very supportive. Absolute superstar, would come to my rehab ward every week to do some OSCE practice and pass med so I didn’t fall behind. She intercalated so we ended up graduating together and I absolutely loved it. Loved going through med school with her.

We were both placed in London which we were very happy about as Londoners (and as our uni was here too). Different trusts but we still attempted to see eachother as much as we could.

Specialty training we both got into the same trust, woohoo! Bumped into eachother a lot and did tons of shifts on the same ward. Don’t want to doxx myself and her but we were in a ward which requires very close proximity with another speciality so you can imagine we were joined at the hip, very similar rota. She was my friend but also my colleague, she would help with little things. Being stern with others, helping with referrals, studying for exams, going to the pub after.

And now she’s dead. I went into work today and it was a reflex to look for her in one of the rooms and she wasn’t there. She’s just gone. It’s so weird to process this loss because being a doctor is rough but your colleagues make it better, we rely on eachother to survive. How do you process the loss of a colleague? How do you process the loss of a friend who helped me through my own attempt at taking my life.

I feel so weird at the moment. Don’t want to leave this moment because I know I am going to have to get up, go to work in two days time and not see her. Not get a message to ask if I want a coffee from Costa. Not spend our lunch breaks complaining and trying to think of portfolio ideas.

The world moves on, patients will come and go but she isn’t there.

I just don’t know how to process a colleague just disappearing.

Sorry it is a rant but I really need some advice. Never had to face this before? Think the suicide element hurts more but it’s just loss and I detest it.

Have a shift tomorrow with the ambulance service. Already dreading it.

Can’t change my uniform which has a thick cotton shirt, plus I am on meds that has sweating as a side effect.

I don’t want to end up with heat exhaustion as I have enough patients to treat.

Any tips before the shift? Don’t have time to buy anything major but can run to the shops before the shift starts.

Any tips? I am sweating buckets it’s embarrassing

I am on SSRIs which doesn’t help the excessive sweating and wear sports sleeves (to cover SH scars/which I pull up in clinical spaces to meet the bare below the elbow criteria) but regardless that extra layer is a bit hot

Got tons of water, spare uniform, spare socks and a little fan.

Anyone got an advice to surviving these long shifts? In London as well which just feels weirdly hotter than the other places

I resent my immigrant mother and I hate myself for it

Whenever anyone asks what it is like to be the daughter of an immigrant woman, I speak about how honourable it is. She is a walking example of determination and hard work - willing to give up all she knew to provide a good life for her kids.

However, at times, I secretly wish I could respond with “it’s like being a mother to my own mum. It’s like having all the responsibilities of a child without ever having a kid”.

I am currently at the airport waiting for my plane back home. I recently finished the hardest exams I have ever had and planned a little weekend getaway. My mum never travels and had some time off so thought I would invite her with me. I regret that decision and I feel so terrible for feeling this way.

From the very beginning, I had to take all the responsibility. As my mum doesn’t speak English, I had to find and book all the flights, hotels, airport transfer and etc. I had to research the country, find activities, find food places she would like. The days prior and day of the trip, I had to remind her of all the things she needed to bring, explain the basic rules of luggage (e.g. bag small enough to fit in seat in front of you). I had to keep hold of the passports and important documents. At the airport, I did all the talking (and then explain it all back to her in my home language). Imagine taking a young child on holiday, feels like the same. Had to explain basic etiquete on a plane like wearing headphones, not putting the table down during take off.

I couldn’t do half the stuff I wanted as my mother is growing older so physical activities like taking a hike or long walk was out of the picture and her lack of English means activities like watching a play/musical or a walking tour was also not considered. I didn’t want to leave her alone a lot as she doesn’t know the country and I was afraid someone would come up to her/ask her something/etc and she didn’t have me there to help.

I feel like I am always on edge with my mother, making sure I have an eye on her in case she does something she doesn’t realise is wrong or impolite. Always standing beside her in case she needs help.

She’s great at heart, really does love her kids. Her life circumstances doesn’t help any of this - she was uneducated so lacks all of the skills she would have learnt at school. She only learnt basic addition and subtraction at the age of 40. She never travels, even on the train in the city we’ve lived in, so doesn’t know how any of it works. This isn’t her fault. But I can’t help myself but resent her for it.

I wish I had a mother who could plan a fun day out - take me out to a cool venue, have a drink, and even pay for my meal. I paid for everything for our trip.

I am just sad. I guess partly because I didn’t enjoy my trip but also because I am looking over at my mum now and I have really upsetting emotions building up inside of me.

Was recently talking about blood donation and how it’s super simple yet so beneficial. You can even donate plasma.

What other easy things can you do to help those around you, especially here in London?

I recommend everyone does a Basic Life Support (BLS) course. As an instructor myself, it’s such a simple skill that can save a life (literally)

Hi everyone. Med student here so potentially different to paramed students.

I do shifts with my local ambulance trust on a weekly/biweekly basis, ranging in times from days to nights. I have to do a late soon to sign off a skill but I have absolutely no idea how to get home after 2am?

During the day, it’s 2 buses from home. Can try a night bus but will probs be a 3 hour trip home. May just accept my fate and get an Uber even though I am on a strict student budget and don’t have £30ish to fork out. Unlike my hospital placements, can’t request an NHS issued taxi or something.

Was wondering if paramed students have the same issue, are you expected to make your own way and back, and if so how do you deal with it? One of my other friends just crashes at the local hostel but I don’t know if it’s worth it.

Any advice appreciated. Will be doing many more late shifts in the future so trying to think of a rough plan.

For additional info if relevant: I can’t drive/don’t have a car, don’t do shifts at the same time as the other students so can’t join them for a ride.

Hi all. Starting a placement soon and some of the hours are quite early in the morning. In order for me to make it there in time, I would have to get the very first bus (and 2 connecting buses).

However, in the regular day hours, bus schedules seem like complete nonsense because the buses never stick to them. I get that during the day, there’s traffic and other issues but at 5 in the morning, surely not?

Can I trust the first bus will come at that time (and so I won’t miss my buses after)? Or should I start saving some money for taxis. I definitely can’t be late to this placement (it’s in an ambulance, they can’t leave without me and I can’t delay the service)

Google doesn’t help at ALL so coming here.

Any bus drivers here I would appreciate any answer. It’s a regular double decker bus in zone 4 London if that helps.

Have some free time so hoping to visit more museums and galleries. Been to all the popular ones but always happy to listen to recommendations. What is your favourite?