u/Affectionate_Bar_743

Okay so this story is from a couple of years ago but honestly I still can’t get over his entitlement.

I had an ex who lived alone. I didn’t move in but we did spend most of our time at his place. If I was there and we cooked of course I helped with the dishes. There were multiple events where we hosted his friends or parents and the next day he had to go into work early and complained how dirty his place was and I completely cleaned it for him. One time I remember we hosted his friends for dinner and there was lots of clean up. He went to work the next day (I was still in school). He told his mom how dirty it was and she wanted to come clean to surprise him. By the time she arrived I had cleaned it all (I didn’t know she was coming either). But there were multiple instances where I just did it all for him. At the time he was really thankful for it.

Now here it comes. I was working as a student as well and had a long day at work (having to stand on my feet all day, really busy day). He had food prepped HIS meals for the upcoming days and had to work a night shift. The plan was for him to come to my parents place after his shift to sleep some and then we had a family outing with my brothers. I told him beforehand I would drive so he could rest some more in the car. So he left for work and I left his place shortly after. Did I know there were dishes in the sink, yes. Did I think I have to do his dishes then.. no because I was tired myself. He calls me like 10 minutes after he left to ask if I could take something from his place with me because he forgot. I told him I’d go grab it quickly but that I was actually already walking to my car. So I go back to grab it and leave again.

In the morning I notice he’s late after his work and message him asking if everything’s okay. He answers me that he had to go back to his place first to do his dishes before he could come to mine. I think nothing of it and leave it at that. During the day he asks me if I felt guilty he had to go back and do his dishes after work because I hadn’t done them? He said he thought I would have done his dishes before I left but that he realised when he called me I had left already and didn’t do them. He really thought I had to feel bad that he had to do his own dishes

I was so freaking stunned. His dishes, for his food that I ate nothing of? I felt like I already did more for him than I had to do by cleaning his place regularly and even his mom told me I was too kind for doing that stuff.

The relationship didn’t last long afterwards. He ditched me for someone else and complained to his friends that she doesn’t do that kind of stuff for him .. serves him right

So I matched with this guy two or three days ago. He leaves for vacation soon so I asked if he was able to meet before then. The vibe on message was good, he leaves for two weeks so I honestly didn’t want to waste time on someone if the vibe in real life isn’t good. He said it was difficult to meet before then. Told me to please don’t be mad. I told him that’s totally fine and we will meet afterwards. Last minute he said he could meet today so I agreed.

From the beginning I noticed he said things like 5 times as if he was embarrassed about them. Also I could tell him something and not even 5 minutes later he would ask a question I literally just told him. I didn’t completely feel the vibe, he came off as pretty insecure and not in a good way but in a ‘I want to overcompensate way’.

He talks about how much fun he had and he wants to meet again. I tell him we will see when he’s back. He wants to set a date right away, I told him I can’t because I don’t know when I need to work then. In my mind I was already thinking about how to gently let him down but I honestly also was okay giving him another chance because he didn’t fundamentally do something wrong you know.

At the end of the date I give him a kiss on the cheek and he turns his head so it’s on the mouth and tells me ‘sorry I just really wanted to do that’. He sees that it made me uncomfortable and we say goodbye and he walks off.

Afterwards I text him I’m home. He says sorry for making me uncomfortable. I tell him I want to take things slow and he tells me it’s better to just call it off. I don’t message back because I think that’s fine and that’s that.

10 minutes later I get a message ‘I mean the first impression is ruined now right.’ Ten minutes after that another message: ‘do you still want to see each other or shall we just quit this’

I don’t immediately answer because I just went to the gym, which he knew. And he messages me again ‘you can answer me you know’. At this point I’m kind of pissed off and message him saying ‘I think it’s better indeed to call it off.’ He immediately responds with ‘was I that bad?’. I tell him the date was okay but his behaviour afterwards shows me we’re not a good match. I don’t immediately answer and you keep messaging me when I don’t. The last message was passive agressive and inappropriate and you literally said you want to call it off and then just change your mind’

He begins messaging me accusing me of wanting to meet up too soon, how he had to redo his whole agenda for this (mind you, I told him it was completely fine to meet up after). And some other things. He quickly deletes them afterwards and I just message hil back: look it’s clear you can’t handle the rejection, I’m sorry for that. I wish you well and hope you have a great vacation’ and god what he messaged afterwards. i’m in shock.

He tells me I didn’t reject him. I wanted to meet up so soon and he wasn’t even attracted to me so I shouldn’t even mention a rejection. I am so glad that I did this through text. Who knows what would have happened if I did it in real life. He sent some more rude words which I won’t repeat but I think the lesson here is: please stay safe and follow your gut.

EDIT: he has since apologised and blamed being tired for it and has asked me some questions which I honestly won’t answer anymore

Ive been dating a guy for two months now. We have met up at least once every week but the last couple of weeks it was twice or more. When we meet up it’s mostly him asking me to see me.

In those months he has sad that mentally he’s not in the right place. He doesn’t know what he wants in life, he feels like his life is falling apart. Last week he mentioned wanting to go on vacation for a month or two. He did ask my thoughts on it and I told him I would never say he can’t do it, but that I would find it difficult.

He starts messaging first a lot of the times. When he doesn’t it’s because he’s spiralling. I know I can’t be the one to help him and he has to do it but it’s really starting to hurt me. I asked him last night if he wants to go on a double date with a friend of mine and he again said he doesn’t know what he want and he might go away for a while.

I told him then that I am starting to have feelings for him and he said he respects me and likes being with me but feelings for him have to grow. He doesn’t know if he will ever feel love again because he got hurt too much.

I don’t know what to do with this situation. The thing is when he spirals he also doesn’t take care of himself for two days, it’s always his off work days because he’s home and doesn’t know what to do. He functions fine on workdays.

I feel so good when I’m with him. He’s kind and notices things like me being cold and giving me a blanket. He has a passion for job and that’s what’s hurting him because it’s not going well there at the moment.

We have been dating for almost two months now. It’s been going well. We have had some ups and downs, mostly because mentally he isn’t always in the right headspace and then he can disappear a couple of days.

The last few weeks have been really good. He messages me more frequently, asks me almost daily to meet up, speaks about future plans.

Now he has mentioned needing a vacation but because it was so soon I didn’t want to concretely plan something for the summer until we make it official. Now he suddenly mentioned planning a vacation with a coworker for 2 months. He did ask me how I feel about it, and I told him I am not the person to deny him doing fun things but that I would find it a bit difficult not seeing him so long. His birthday is during that period, I start work the second month so technically the first month he is gone is my last month of vacation. He said he understands but that he’s young now and now is the time to do those vacations bc it’s a very physically active vacation.

I’m not sure how I feel about it. I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t make this trip, but I don’t know how to feel about not seeing and probably not hearing him for two months. It’s a nature vacation so he won’t always have a full battery so I probably won’t hear him daily.

Most of my friends all work so it would also mean I won’t have anyone to go on vacation with this summer because my friends take leave for vacations with their partners and not friends.