r/MatingAdvice

Basically the title. I (30F) found so often when meeting someone out in the wild, after chatting a bit and establishing a mutual connection, a lot of times the guy will offer his Instagram instead of offering/asking for a phone number. I don't know if it just as I've gotten older but that's started feeling a little immature. Does anyone else feel the same or do you not have a problem with connecting via socials?

Current situation: Matched with a guy on Hinge, chatted for a few days, then he hits me with the 'I'm never on here, but here's my IG, let's connect there'. It kinda bugs me, but I don't know if I'm just overreacting.

I know it may seem like a silly question, but the amount of woman whos lives are centered around or heavily involves travelling is crazy. I feel like I cant connect with anyone because the conversations always start with or lead into travelling. It leads me to feeling like I have nothing to contribute because I dont have as many travelling stories. Of course, I can always ask questions and make inferences but I feel the convo goes flat when I dont have as much to mention myself.

This isn't to say I dont travel at all, I have done but its just not as big a thing for me as it seems to be for most women I meet.

Has anyone else struggled with something similar? Regardless of gender involved ofc, I feel like its something someone else must have had an issue with.

Basically, I dated a woman for a very short time (three dates), and I found out she had an fwb while dating me. I wasn't upset, as I get some people do this, but I was not interested. I don't date people who are having or looking for casual sex, as I am looking for something serious, something she said she wanted too. I told her this.

She took it well.

But a few days later, she texted me, and told me she broke things off with her fwb, and asked if we could try again. I told her I appreciate it, but I still wasn't interested. While I didn't tell her this, it was kind of a case of dama

She chewed me the fuck out. Like damn, I got like 10 texts before I blocked her.

Ive (30F) been with my bf(35M) for over a year now. We met on a dating app. We live about 1.5 hrs away from each other but visit one another almost every weekend and stay the whole weekend. Sometimes we will take time off work and stay together for 4-5 days at a time.

The first time we met in person he got us a hotel room and we had sex about 7ish times within a 12 hour period. We went out for drinks and dinner and once we made it back to the room we very demurely did our own bed time routines, got in our pajamas to watch a movie, and then didn’t make it a single minute in.

And that’s been more or less our entire relationship. We just now were able to make it through a movie a week ago but not without pausing for sex breaks. A 2 hr movie turned into a 8 hr one. It just never gets old. It just keeps getting better.

We’re both flabbergasted at how compatible we are. We’re both high energy goofballs that love joking around and being affectionate. And apparently these silly goose vibes translate into really good, hair pulling, light choking, bent over the sink sex. There’s something about seeing the “class clown, golden retriever, everyone’s fav party animal and sweetheart friend” turn into this primal, dominant sex god that just makes me absolutely melt.

We’re gonna close the gap soon and I KNOW things won’t be this fun anymore and I’m dreading it. Any tips from anyone w a similar situation?

​My partner (30F) and I (32M) have been together since high school, we are married, and we have 3 kids, so life is definitely busy. The good news is that our sex life is already fantastic and the chemistry is still there, but I am at a point where I want to level up. ​We have always been great together, but I am looking to make myself even better at pleasing her and finding that next level of intensity. I am not looking for relationship advice because we are solid. I am strictly looking for your favorite techniques for a partner who you already know really well. ​What is that one move, rhythm, or secret trick that you have found absolutely drives a long term partner over the edge? Whether it is a specific way of building anticipation that you think is underrated, a specific way to handle a position, or just a little tweak to your usual routine that makes everything hit different, I want to hear what works for you. ​I am looking to expand my toolkit. What is your best advice for taking things from great to unforgettable?

Have you ever been genuinely interested and romantically engaged with a woman and then lose all spark and interest after you have sex? Why? What changed for you? Unless the sex was really bad, which honestly I still don’t think is a dealbreaker because if you like someone, then you learn how to have good sex together and what you both like.

I keep hearing people say that dating happens naturally when you stop looking for it.
How?
I’m genuinely asking.
If I stay home, nothing happens.
If I use dating apps, it’s the same people over and over again, half the conversations die after three messages, and somehow everyone is either “not looking for anything serious” or lives 700 miles away.
Then people say “go outside and meet people.”
Okay, but where are all these people being met? Am I supposed to walk into a grocery store and fall in love in the fruit aisle? Strike up a conversation with a random stranger at the bus stop?
It feels like everyone else got a secret guide on how adults meet each other and I somehow missed the memo.
So for those of you who actually met your partner in real life, where did it happen? Because at this point I’m convinced people are spawning into relationships.

So I'm a 33 yo male. I like to think I look decent. I'm in decent shape (I do a ton of exercise), my hairline is holding up nicely, and I've developed my wardrobe and style to a certain degree. I've actually been complimented on it a few times (usually from gay men though lmao). Decent job, worst features is can be shy at times + quite short (5'8'')

I continuously heard about how in your 30s things flip around and everything becomes so much easier for men. Well I can't say I'm seeing it. And no, I'm not pining for 25 yo girls, I just want to date within 3 or so years of my age, ideally somebody early 30s as well.

Absolutely every cool woman I meet that I have good rapport with has a boyfriend. Hell I haven't seen a single woman in her 30s in the wild in probably actual years. Every single one is taken. You look at the dating apps and sure enough they're full but I'm not the kind of guy to do well in dating apps.

So this is an absolute lie in my experience. I just want to warn younger men that are doing the whole "I'm just on my grindset rn" that it may not become any better later on. Date with intention now if dating is something important for you, don't think you're going to pupate like a butterfly and suddenly everything will be ten times easier.

I’ve never desired being came in until my boyfriend. We didn’t use a condom once I think during my period? Once we opened that can of worms it was hard to get either of us to put one on. He’d ask me not to, I’d not REALLY want to, he’d ask me again and say he’s gonna pull out, I’d say fine but you know that’s not a reliable pregnancy prevention method. He’d fail to pull out soon enough like half the time and some would get inside anyways. This happened like 2-3 times to the point where condom usage was sporadic.

It was hard for us to go back to condoms after that one time. They put drugs in that shit I don’t know. I don’t know if condoms like compress the head of change the texture but condoms are like sex lite or something and I’m saying this as the woman. I got on birth control I few weeks later because we both have adhd and I don’t trust either of us to keep using that condom. We were doing good before, I asked to not use it when I knew I couldn’t get pregnant and then we really stopped caring. I swear we did it one time when I might’ve been ovulating and I had a small pregnacy scare so I started pills my next period.

I like when he finishes in a condom. I LOVE when he finishes without one. Especially when it’s been a minute and he’s hydrated. Remembering the towel is a pain in the ass because you don’t remember you didn’t grab one until you’re leaking out onto the blankets. But it’s so warm and like I have some of him in me. I like the little pulsing sensation and feeling it go inside me. I like the concept that if I wasn’t on the pill he could get me pregnant like that. Like wow he could really put a baby in me. And in the moment for a second I genuinely want him to. Then I snap back to reality where I don’t want kids for atleast another 6-8 years and I make sure I take my pill on time everyday.

I used to think I’d find it messy and gross. Like I thought I’d want him to pull out most times or that it would feel violating. I can’t see him for another 5 days and it crosses my mind everyday

Is this a breeding kink? Do I have a sex addiction? This can’t be normal and it’s objectively kind of nasty. Like it’s a snot like texture and it just randomly shoots out of his junk. I don’t think I’d enjoy swallowing, but I love having it inside of me. I’m putting so much trust into this pill it’s insane because sometimes I keep it in me for a bit. I don’t even run to wash it off right away but he doesn’t really either. I guess I just kinda wanna know if I’m normal or it’s a kink for me

Already posted on advice but I do want to share my experience as far as possible on here.

I'm 20F and have now deleted the app but I've been a hinge user for about 8 months and I went on an average of 3 dates a week. The aim was to get a comprehensive view of the people on hinge to test it against apps my friends use like bumble and tinder. If I was going to do the apps I was going to really commit. Looks became irrelevant and I responded to everyone in my likes and went on a date with anyone who seemed like a decent guy. My vetting wasn't fool proof and I ended up with some CRAZY stories. So here's my weirdest ones:

1 My first ever hinge date. He pissed on the side of the road in the middle of Kings Cross. Turned around mid stream and asked "is this a turn off for you?"

2/10 - public indecency AND we'd just passed a pub. Plus HE ended up ghosting ME. That did a number on my pride cuz how do you piss in front of me and then think I was bad enough to be ghosted

2. Had a lovely date with a guy, went home absolutely giddy. Thought we really hit it off! Later that night I got added to an IG group chat with him and a few other people. All only mutuals with my date. Odd! The person who added me @ me and says "DO YOU KNOW \\\_\\\_\\\_. STAY AWAY HE'S A PERV" I am immediately flooded with videos of this guy jerking his stick in front of his laptop. He fell for a discord scam, and the person used some hacking software to screen record him (I saw the messages between them it was part of the screen record).

4/10 - you were a fun date but being stupid enough to jerk it with a rando on discord is... A red flag. Bless your poor horny soul 🙏

3. Just before our date started, while I was waiting for him, some random middle aged man started harassing me and wouldn't leave me alone. Fearing for my safety, I messaged my date to hurry up and save me. He arrived ten minutes late and when I introduced him as my boyfriend he loudly went "what? Don't make it weird, we just met!"

3/10 - your thick skull and lack of confrontation resulted in us having a middle aged man third wheeling for the first 45 minutes. He tried to feed me biscuits and you said you were annoyed you didn't get to try any because the biscuits looked good. Maybe you should have gone on a date with him.

4. He chose the movie and it was Terrifier. During the scene where the blonde woman is hung upside down naked and sawed in half he turned to me with utmost seriousness and said "that's hot"

5/10 - Things were going well until that point and the direct eye contact you made was concerning. I have a feeling I'm going to be reciting this story on your Netflix true crime but you did buy me fries and ice cream.

5. We were out extremely late (3ish) and he somehow convinced me to go back to his place to catch some sleep before heading back home despite my protests. Turned up and realised this guy doesn't sleep with pillows, or a duvet, or even a cover. It was just plain naked mattress. I had to take out my contacts and because of how impromptu everything was, I didn't have my glasses. Despite knowing how blind I was he still kicked me out at 7 in the morning and said he felt too tired to help me home.

1/10 - I fell into the canal on the way home because I couldn't see. Was it so hard to get me on a bus? I feel tricked fr you coulda just let me go back to my flat where I have THREE PILLOWS ALL COVERED AND A DUVET. You folded MY jacket to use as YOUR pillow and my back ached for days. I would wish for both sides of your pillow to be warm but first I gotta wish for you to buy a pillow.

6. While we were talking outside my flat, my flatmates being incredibly drunk forced him into doing karaoke at the gay club down the street. He was forced into defying gravity. Decent singer actually!

10/10 - ended up having a fun girls night out with an added man! I apologise that this date probably sucked for you, but you were such a good sport for trying. You ghosted me and that was probably valid after my Elvis impersonation I'm sorry.

Because of the word limit I can't add anymore but I have so many wild date stories from Hinge. All to say, these are just a small handful of stories from a long experience. I've had some really really awesome experiences as well. Most of you on Hinge are really decent people and I wish almost all of my dates nothing but the best. To the ladies out there trying, good luck, stay safe and have fun!

Is this common? I’d like to think my previous relationships have ended over fundamental incompatibilities so there’s no reason either of us would ever reach out. However the girl I’m currently seeing, along with many girls in the past, get texted by multiple different ex boyfriends all the time. I don’t get it.

My boyfriend wants to eat me out. Not in a pressuring way. Just because ive blown him 4x and he wants to reciprocate. But I'm very nervous

More context: ive known him for a year and half and we have been dating about 3 months. About a month ago I offered to blow him. He accepted. Since ive blown him 3 other times. He has offered to eat me out. Once I say no he simply says are you sure and I say yes. Ive never been eaten out before and hes never eaten anyone out before

I'm afraid of a few things.

One, I'm not shaved. I'm quite confident he wouldn't want me to shave for that and hes even commented I dont have to shave my legs. But hes new to this. If I dont shave there will be hair over my vagina unless I move it but moving it sounds awkward. And I'm unsure if he would want to move it

Two, generally it takes me 8-10 minutes to cum. I dont want to make him feel bad or inadequate. And I would feel bad making him go for that long. Especially on his first time

Three, I struggle a lot with vulnerability. And letting someone eat me out feels very vulnerable and scary. In addition cumming in front of someone feels raw and very vulnerable.

He's not pressuring me at all. I want him to eat me out. I want to know what it feels like. I'm just scared. Any advice is very welcome and appreciated

Went out with one of the most physically beautiful women I’ve ever been in the same room as last night, and it took about 5 minutes of chatting IRL to realize my role in the date was to pay for her drinks and nothing else.

When I first sat down I asked her what are her passions and interests and she said “I just like to get wasted and do cocaine with my friends” and I needed zero further discussion to know this was going to be a disaster. She said she made her money “streaming herself doing nothing on TikTok” and after paying for the first round of drinks I suggested she could cover the next and with a pouty face she said “baby I’m Latina. We don’t do that”. I don’t think she asked me a single thing about myself for the next hour of discussion before I told her I was ready to go and cabbed it out of there.

Honestly, had I more self-assurance I would have just gotten up and left after the cocaine line.

What’s the fastest you’ve left a first date?

This sounds extremely extremely egotistical I’m aware but I promise you I know I’m not gods gift. I’m 25F, I would say I’m attractive but I’m not anything special, I’m an athlete, go to the gym daily, I’m not even that funny or interesting and I’m by no means rich.

But almost every single man I match with, I’ll exchange numbers or socials have 1 conversation with them then they expect me to have these hours long conversations with them ALL day EVERY DAY.

I have a career, I have friends, I have a family, I’m in university, I have hobbies I’m a busy person and although I’m really good with communication, letting people know when I’m too busy to talk etc, my life doesn’t entirely revolve around dating and every man seems to send me 50 messages a day even when I’m not replying and sometimes even getting AGGRESSIVE. They’ll even tell me they’ve told their friends + family about me, get angry that I’m spending time with my friends (who I won’t see for a few years after this summer which I tell them), text me as if we’re already married, expect me to not see family etc.

THESE ARE ALL MEN IVE NEVER EVER MET.

I can understand talking all day every day if you’ve actually been on dates or you’re getting serious and don’t get me wrong, clear communication is important and you should either message a few times every day OR have deeper conversations every few days if you’re planning on meeting but if you’ve never met someone you are not romantically or sexually involved with that person and they do not owe you 8 hours of conversation 7 days a week and you should not be getting angry that they’re prioritising friends, family or themselves in the little free time they get.

I have an extremely healthy attachment style I’m not avoidant at all and I set boundaries very very clearly but they almost always get ignored so I end up having to block these men meaning I end up never going on dates because these men made me feel unsafe due to their lack of respect for boundaries when I’m by no means a time waster and would like to meet people.

What am I doing to attract such clingy obsessive men?

28F. went on a second date with a guy (31M) last night I met. he picked the place, a kind of upscale small plates spot, his choice entirely, i would've been happy with anything.

bill comes, it's like $140 because HE ordered most of the plates and two cocktails for himself, i had one drink. he slides the check to the middle and goes "wanna just split it?"

and look. i am not against splitting. i split all the time. i make good money. that is not the issue. the issue is he chose an expensive place, he ordered most of it, and then defaulted to 50/50 like that was obviously fair when i consumed maybe a third of that bill.

i paid my half without making it weird but i left feeling kind of icked and now i feel shallow for being icked.

is this a red flag or am i being a princess about $70? genuinely asking because my friends are split down the middle on this.

Quick question yall.. if I tell my man I just shaved everywherte and he rather gamble on his phone (clear gambling problem) but wtf do i do to get his attention? He was like ill ill check it out after this. And I was like uh no nvm. Wonders why I dont get in the mood within seconds when hes ready...

I'm '28M' and I was in the beginning stages of a relationship with '26F', less call her Sarah, it's been about four months. We have been talking for awhile mostly on the phone then I started to lose interest in her because she started to ask for money when I asked to meet up in person. But I continue because I wanted to have a girlfriend. We decided to have sex, because of my housing situation (I live on a barracks) we decided to get a motel room. We got the room, and she asked me to go down on her, which I did (this was my first time doing it) but I didn't have any experience, so I was there for was seemed like a long time and she still did not climax. All this I lost my erection, so we ended not having sex. After that night, I told her that I don't think we should continue with our relationship and that I won't waste her time. She told me I was her type but we could still have sex from time to time. I told her I'll think about it and didn't text her back. About a week later this girl, '24F' let call her kate, I met through work started to text me more often showing her interest in me. We started started talking everyday, great conversations for about 2 before before Sarah txt me asking to lend her some money, told her I didn't have it and end the communication again. A week past Sarah txt me again asking way I ghosted her. I told her that I felt she just wanted money I didn't have and she didn't really like me, she replied she wasn't after my money and that she lied about me not being her type because she is actually interested in me. She asked if i was still interested in her but I told her I don't know. I think Sarah is a good person but my gut tells me not to trust her, she also didn't want me to kiss her when we were intimate and she has a closed off personality. Kate on the other hand is different, she has a great personality, we have great conversations and we always laugh. But we've been only talking for little over a month and she is also a single mom. I'm confused what to do. Should I stay with the longer relationship, go with the new girl or do what I see a lot of guys do and juggle multiple women even though that's not me?

OK, first of all, this is not a fairytale or some fantasy. I m48 met an escort f34 about 18 months ago. We had some overnights a lot of long conversations and it moved from client/provider to just two people. I know her daughter, I know her friends, and there has been no sex for money transactions in over a year. Mind you, she was still escorting, just not with me. Now we are exclusive and she said she will stop escorting altogether and go civilian. Is this something that can work? Has anyone else had this experience, from the client or provider side? I really need help and in other subreddits I was basically laughed at and told to fuck off.

I 25F have been single for many many years. The only real relationship I’ve had only lasted a few months. I’m very in love with love and really want a relationship but never seem to get one. I put myself out there but I always just see to attract men that only want one thing from me and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I got a great career, I don’t dress in a way that screams I’m only looking for hookups (even tho you can dress that way and not look for that) and I’m very upfront that I do want a relationship.

I recently dated two guys and one ended up getting a gf and only wanted to hookup with me and the other one ghosted me when it got to serious after months of talking. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and fear it will stay like this forever. I only sleep with guys I’m serious with which I tell these men to but they don’t think that rule applies to them.

Hey it was cool meeting you last night. Sorry my friend did that lol 😝 she asked me who I thought was the most beautiful girl in the bar and I said “the woman in the floral dress looks stunning” and then she just made a beeline to you. I’m glad she did though now

(I told her I’d text her the next day) should I add a question to continue the conversation or should I make it shorter?