r/MatingAdvice

Modern dating has a few things that could probably be sent straight to the bin.

You get one deletion. What are you getting rid of?

No apps required. Perfectly safe environment with cameras, easy to politely decline, but are you inviting unwanted attention that could turn nasty? Like, what if they follow you out the shop. What then?

Seems a good idea, but also a bad one. Would you grab a pinky?

Hi guys, I am a 29F Asian, turning 30 in October and I made life changing decisions very recently. I studied my masters degree in Europe, discarded my PhD plan and came back to SE Asia after some years. I had 6 years relationship and 2 situationships before I moved. Packed my emotions and left the life I had there, and so currently I feel very broken to be honest. I always want to commit in a relationship but these 2 situationships I had was due to the partners who didn’t want to commit in long-term relationships by giving me the same reasons that I am leaving at the end of the day. and so they want to enjoy the time while i was there. I didn’t learn the lesson in the first one, so I dated another one afterwards who gave me the same reasons, but at the same time I had a hope that maybe he will change his mind after we are together for some time. Unfortunately he didn’t, so I blamed myself that I ignored the signals.
Anyway, I decided to move back to SE Asia, but still it’s not my home country. I feel lost again in who to date because the locals cannot communicate in English very well, and the foreigners are either backpackers or staying in this country temporarily as their career breaks or step stones. I opened some dating apps and went on some dates, but we didn’t align with each other unfortunately. Dating is extremely difficult as I’ve noticed, but I want to love someone genuinely with my whole heart again.
As I mentioned before, I am very scared of turning 30, I feel so late since I am now starting everything all over again while people around me have settled in terms of marriage, family, career, finances and so on. I am well-educated, well-traveled the world, emotionally mature, have good career now, and thanks to Asian genes, I don’t look like I am turning 30. I usually believe that I will find someone who is the same emotional and intellectual level as me. However, I can’t lie the reality and lost the hope now.
Why is it too difficult to date in this era? I am very close to give up on love :(

I'm honestly just looking for someone to talk to and kinda build my confidence back up after a long time of not feeling very desired. Any advice on where I can kinda casually chat?

I know this is a hot take among men but hear me out. I’m not talking about wanting a guy cause he has a nice car or the best house. I’m talking about simply wanting a guy who can pay his bills, have employment, save money, invest, and have a good credit score. These are all things that prove you’re a responsible adult who can handle life to some degree.

Do I think it’s good for women to have those qualities too? Absolutely! It’s just annoying when all these men are like “women just want money” like bro most just want you to not blow all your money on bs and be a responsible man. It also probably gives women a psychological feeling of safety like if I live with this guy we won’t have to worry about our power getting cut off or the car getting re possessed.

I (28, F) went on a second date with a guy over the weekend, and at one point he told me he had pictured me naked. He then said he wondered what color my nipples are and that he was curious to see them.

I honestly found it kind of odd to hear someone say that out loud on a second date. I have really small boobs and have always been pretty self-conscious about them, so it caught me off guard.

Is this just something guys think about but usually don’t say? Do men typically picture women they’re dating naked?

You know the one you’ve seen approximately 847 times

Drop your pick below - let's crown Sydney's most overused dating prompt

No explanation needed. Just name it!

Sometimes it’s not the big gestures - it’s the little things that make a date stand out.

Maybe it’s great conversation, making you laugh, feeling completely comfortable, genuine effort, or simply not wanting the night to end.

Fellow daters, what’s the one thing that makes you want a second date?

My new boyfriend and I have been freshly in love and therefore very active for the past few months. We both love being outdoors, and sometimes we don't make it home quite as quickly as we should when we get in the mood, so we've occasionally ended up having sex in places that aren't fully public but aren't exactly private either.

Recently, we had sex in his car, in the dark, on a parking spot in a relatively quiet area near the woods. The area does get some traffic, though, and since people sometimes park illegally there, police regularly drive through and check for illegally parked cars.

As luck would have it, they happened to drive past while we were in the back seat getting down.

I'm usually a very rule-following, law-abiding citizen, so the possibility of getting caught makes me pretty anxious. I'm guessing I'm also not really what you'd call an exhibitionist, since I don't get a thrill from the possibility of being caught. If anything, it mostly makes me panic a little.

I should probably also clarify that what we were doing isn't necessarily illegal in my country. The relevant criteria for "public sexual acts" are basically that it's likely and reasonably easy for people passing by to witness what you're doing and that they would be likely to be disturbed by it. Since it was dark and the rear windows are tinted, this is technically a bit of a gray area, as someone would have to deliberately look into the car and potentially use a flashlight to actually see anything.

That doesn't mean the police couldn't have fined us — they absolutely could have if they had seen us and decided the circumstances met the criteria — but there is at least an argument to be made that it wasn't clearly a public act.

Anyway, long story short: I'd like to get a little better at being sneaky with our outdoor adventures.

Does anyone have tips for minimizing the chances of being spotted, specifically when it comes to doing it in a car? One of our biggest problems is the interior lighting. It doesn't seem to fully turn off even when the car is locked from the inside because the keys are still inside, and accidentally pressing a button can turn all the lights back on again.

Please spare me the obvious "find a less frequented spot" or "just don't do it" comments. I'm specifically interested in practical tips for making the car itself less noticeable.

The first date bill debate never ends.

Some say the person who asked should pay. Others prefer splitting it or taking turns.

Sydney, we know you have opinions - drop yours below.

Pretty much what the above states. I’m just curious to know what chunk of the single dating population in 2026 would rather stay single for x amount of time (or forever) then settle for certain things just to be in a relationship, even if you had to settle on certain things you wouldn’t have settled on before?

I’m thinking of getting back on dating apps, but honestly I have no idea how to make a decent profile.
The biggest issue is photos. I feel like I look pretty bad in most pictures 😅 and I’m not someone who naturally takes a lot of photos, so I don’t really know what kind of pictures I should even be using.
For people who actually use dating apps — what works for you?
Should I get a few proper photos taken, or do normal/candid pictures work better? How many photos should I have? And are prompts/bio actually important?
Also, which apps are worth trying these days?
Would genuinely appreciate some honest advice. Not looking for compliments — just trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong and how I can make the profile look more natural.

After messaging some girls I suspected he was/is with, about 5 responded to say they have also been seeing/talking/sleeping with him. He’s been telling us all the same things and “building” a future with us all. After a few confronted him, he decided to delete all his social media accounts. Who knows how many others there really are and unfortunately will be. Be safe out there, seems like you can’t trust anyone these days. Fuck this guy!