Pretty much what the above states. I’m just curious to know what chunk of the single dating population in 2026 would rather stay single for x amount of time (or forever) then settle for certain things just to be in a relationship, even if you had to settle on certain things you wouldn’t have settled on before?
After messaging some girls I suspected he was/is with, about 5 responded to say they have also been seeing/talking/sleeping with him. He’s been telling us all the same things and “building” a future with us all. After a few confronted him, he decided to delete all his social media accounts. Who knows how many others there really are and unfortunately will be. Be safe out there, seems like you can’t trust anyone these days. Fuck this guy!
UPDATE: In the end i canceled the "date" with that friend of mine. I told her I am texting with another girl, and even if it's nothing serious for me yet, and I am not sure, I can't do that to her, firstly I don't want hurt feelings in that way, second at role inverted i would hate that. I am not sure about the first girl, and that would be a sign that I should close it, but I don't mess things up before being clear with her.
Thank you all, and sorry for this tantrum.
M30
A while ago, I met a girl. The next day, someone else came up and wanted have sex with me, but I told myself, "No, come on, I'm hooking up with the other girl. It wouldn't be nice. I wouldn't like it if she would do that to me." So I turned down the second girl. I went on a date with the first girl, and she ghosted me after that. Whatever..
A month later, I met someone else. We spent the first night together. The next day, another girl approached me at one bar, but I rejected her because I liked so much the other girl. We went out and slept together for about a month. Around my birthday, she became cold, and on one date, she told me it had never been anything serious for her, that she wanted to see other people, and in fact, she was already looking around. I told her I was fine with something casual, but obviously it was just an excuse, and things cooled down over time, even with her bailing on me at the last minute when we were supposed to meet up. And I was really pissed off... I still am kinda..
Some time later, I found the courage and invited someone out, I make a commitment, and on the second date I ask her if I can kiss her, she says yes but she misunderstood (?) because when I get close, she moves away and ghosts me from then on.
And that's enough for me. Now I'm seeing another girl, she seems really into me but is extremely anxious and codependent. She's become incredibly attached to me, and she makes me feel guilty if I don't respond the way she wants. She's always asking me questions about love, if I care about her, or is she afraid I'll abandon her since she's been gone for a month. She tells me to be careful if I have sex with other women, but obviously she's telling me this as a test to see how I'll react... all this in the two weeks we've been trying to build something.
Now, a bisexual friend of mine broke up and wants to fuck. Honestly, I feel like it wouldn't be the right thing to do, considering I'm seeing the other one... but my instincts tell me things won't work out with the first one (especially because she overreacts sometimes), and doing the other way it always ended up badly for me.
I'm a little tired of denying myself things for relationships that are dead ends. Of being called an idiot by my friends becuase I lost chances to have fun, and besides, I also have a hard time with women. I get reciprocated once a year, if all goes well.
Please be honest because I’m genuinely curious. As for me personally a few extra pounds really is not a dealbreaker but it is if the other person is severely obese.
I’m a guy in my early 30s, I’m not morbidly obese but I have never been skinny or muscular/ athletic. Unfortunately I’m the type of person who works his ass off at the gym but doesn’t really see any results. I’ve always been very self conscious about my weight and appearance. Personally I’m considering trying a GLP 1 but if I do that it’ll be for improving my A1C and blood sugar levels not because of my appearance. This may sound like major cope but I see a lot of the guys that get into relationships and are considered attractive and they are built like a tank and personality wise often are kind of a douchebag. As for me I’ve never looked like that. When I was in high school a lot of girls thought I was ugly and I got rejected and laughed at often. As for my adult life I have been in 3 serious relationships but as someone who’s single now, I’ve never really had a woman flirt with me in person or got the vibe they were attracted to me. So I resort to using dating apps which are hit or miss. On some apps I don’t get many matches but on hinge I do if I try hard enough.
Basically as the question says, how do you gauge that? Do you base it on their texting frequency and quality of replies, do you gauge it based on the effort they make in person, or maybe you just ask then straight up "what are we?" Although in the early stages I feel that can be hard to figure out because Im noticing some ppl are not always truthful.
I’ve been dating this guy for a few months now. We get along great and lot of fun together. He has baggage (going through divorce, has a kid, lives with friend), I do not. Found him posted on my local “are we dating the same guy” and found out he’s sleeping with others.
He apologized that I saw that and said he’s dating around.
We weren’t exclusive, but I assumed I was the only one he’s sleeping with.
He said he hasn’t felt this way about anyone else and wants to go exclusive now.
Do I have a right to be mad about this? Is this normal? I feel like if he’s able to be with someone else already, how can I expect him to be faithful long term?
I think that people can grow to love each other even if they aren't each other's ideal partner. I'm also starting to think that waiting around for the perfect partner for years and year is actually just a recipe for being alone forever.
One exception, I think, is attraction. It's one thing to accept that you don't share a certain interest, for example, but I think that if you aren't attracted from the start, that's unlikely to change in the future.
There have been a number of times I've happened to see someone at a coffee shop or bookstore that I'd be interested in talking to, but I end up not doing it. Mostly because I can't find a natural way to initiate the conversation, and I can imagine feeling like you were being hit on might ruin your trip to the bookstore or coffee shop if you didn't want or expect it.
I'm personally not a fan of the "I thought you were really pretty" approach. Just seems like a lot, especially in a casual place.
My main strategy is to try for something related to the place like "oh I've been wanting to read that book" but that requires a bit of luck. Like, I have to see what she's looking at, etc.
Any ways you have found to approach in a natural, not overwhelming way?
Women: what are your thoughts on being approached in these types of situations?
Whenever I use dating apps as an asian man I have it way worse than my white counterparts in terms of matches and getting dates. I’ve asked other asian guys I know and apparently the fact that i’m getting matches and dates means I’m doing well. Is this true for Asian men? I pursue women of all races, not just white women.
I'm new to it. I'm also a mid to above average woman, I can't imagine how soul-destroying it is for ugly men
Not getting a reply back or a guy cancelling before a date - damn it feels like it's not worth it let me just make more money and get a sperm donor as motherhood is a goal of mine
Say below your age, sex, and typical minimum-maximum age range. i’m just curious what the majority are saying. And I’m speaking mainly in general. I’m sure there’s anomalies and deviations from the norm. I’m talking more about if you’re out and about, and you meet somebody then you start thinking about their age. And don’t give me any Pretty Ricky lyrics
EDIT TO THANK YOU ALL
Thank you all so much for your comments. I see and I'm reading it all. I'll try my best to upvote all as a sign that I saw your comments even though I did not leave a response.
I appreciate the positive comments and the warnings alike. I guess I needed both sides.
We're still talking on WhatsApp, date planned for some days away. It will be shorter this time.
I will do well to update everyone on a month. I hope everything works out for us all, regardless of how it turns out.
Went on a first date with a guy I met on Hinge, and it was sooooo good.
We spent over 15 hours together, which is by far the longest I've ever spent on a first date. At one point we were just sitting together, staring into space, not talking, and it wasn't awkward at all. We were different in a lot of ways but also weirdly similar.
Before we left, he said, "I really, really like you. I had such a good time with you, and I want to see you more." And he didn't want me to leave.
I woke up this morning and saw he unmatched me on Hinge (he's showing up in my past matches which means he didn't delete the app).
We had already exchanged numbers before that, we're still talking on WhatsApp, and we've even made tentative plans to see each other again this week. So logically, I know unmatching could simply mean, "We have each other's numbers now, so we don't need Hinge anymore."
Emotionally? My brain has decided this is a five-alarm fire.
I also know modern dating is... modern dating. Lots of people date multiple people until they become exclusive. Meanwhile, my emotions are aggressively monogamous. The second I genuinely like someone, everyone else ceases to exist. I can't even hold conversations with multiple people anymore. I haven't responded to my hinge messages since the date and hinge keeps notifying me about my pending conversations.
I know everyone is going to tell me to just ask why he unmatched me. And maybe I should. But it also feels like such a huge thing to ask when we're literally still texting and making plans. It makes me feel like I'd sound completely unhinged.
The scary part is... I think I really, really like him. I'm terrified by how much I like this person after just one date. I haven't felt this way in a very long time.
My heart has been doing the weirdest things ever since. I feel both peaceful and troubled.
It reminds me of Michael Scott(the office) saying, "I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." Except I'm the one who's afraid of how much I like him.
If he ghosts me or eventually hits me with, "I don't think this is working," I genuinely think I'll lose my bananas.
In an attempt to calm myself down, I've taken cold showers, drank Coca-Cola (which I never drink), eaten ice cream and wings, journaled, watched TV, cleaned my entire house, gone for a run where I literally screamed into the void... None of that has worked.
When we planned the date, we both agreed it would either be great or a disaster. It was great, toooo great and it wasn't extravagant. We just did things we both loved to do together and now my emotions are all over the place.
Like, I want to watch him dance, hear is laughter, watch as his eyes crinkle while he laughs, watch him sleep, cook, talk, walk, and cycle ahead of me. I want to know everything there is to know about him. I want to stare into his Brown eyes...
I don't know what to achieve by this post. That I like someone and the feeling is alien to me yet I like it and I want to shout it from the rooftop, that I need help to get myself together or to summon the courage to ask why he unmatched me.
Maybe more help with how to keep my emotions in check. Do I even need to keep it in check? Why am I even pessimistic?
I also wish you all good dates so we can all feel this gooood. Maybe with less pessimism and more excitement that we will not be ghosted.
I know it may seem like a silly question, but the amount of woman whos lives are centered around or heavily involves travelling is crazy. I feel like I cant connect with anyone because the conversations always start with or lead into travelling. It leads me to feeling like I have nothing to contribute because I dont have as many travelling stories. Of course, I can always ask questions and make inferences but I feel the convo goes flat when I dont have as much to mention myself.
This isn't to say I dont travel at all, I have done but its just not as big a thing for me as it seems to be for most women I meet.
Has anyone else struggled with something similar? Regardless of gender involved ofc, I feel like its something someone else must have had an issue with.
Basically, I dated a woman for a very short time (three dates), and I found out she had an fwb while dating me. I wasn't upset, as I get some people do this, but I was not interested. I don't date people who are having or looking for casual sex, as I am looking for something serious, something she said she wanted too. I told her this.
She took it well.
But a few days later, she texted me, and told me she broke things off with her fwb, and asked if we could try again. I told her I appreciate it, but I still wasn't interested. While I didn't tell her this, it was kind of a case of dama
She chewed me the fuck out. Like damn, I got like 10 texts before I blocked her.
So I'm a 33 yo male. I like to think I look decent. I'm in decent shape (I do a ton of exercise), my hairline is holding up nicely, and I've developed my wardrobe and style to a certain degree. I've actually been complimented on it a few times (usually from gay men though lmao). Decent job, worst features is can be shy at times + quite short (5'8'')
I continuously heard about how in your 30s things flip around and everything becomes so much easier for men. Well I can't say I'm seeing it. And no, I'm not pining for 25 yo girls, I just want to date within 3 or so years of my age, ideally somebody early 30s as well.
Absolutely every cool woman I meet that I have good rapport with has a boyfriend. Hell I haven't seen a single woman in her 30s in the wild in probably actual years. Every single one is taken. You look at the dating apps and sure enough they're full but I'm not the kind of guy to do well in dating apps.
So this is an absolute lie in my experience. I just want to warn younger men that are doing the whole "I'm just on my grindset rn" that it may not become any better later on. Date with intention now if dating is something important for you, don't think you're going to pupate like a butterfly and suddenly everything will be ten times easier.
I 25F have been single for many many years. The only real relationship I’ve had only lasted a few months. I’m very in love with love and really want a relationship but never seem to get one. I put myself out there but I always just see to attract men that only want one thing from me and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I got a great career, I don’t dress in a way that screams I’m only looking for hookups (even tho you can dress that way and not look for that) and I’m very upfront that I do want a relationship.
I recently dated two guys and one ended up getting a gf and only wanted to hookup with me and the other one ghosted me when it got to serious after months of talking. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and fear it will stay like this forever. I only sleep with guys I’m serious with which I tell these men to but they don’t think that rule applies to them.
As the title states - I feel like people with tattoos of an ex get a bad reputation (maybe fairly so), but I feel like having a kid with an ex is almost the same concept, but in a slightly different way? Curious to hear how others view or think about these two things in comparison.
Hey it was cool meeting you last night. Sorry my friend did that lol 😝 she asked me who I thought was the most beautiful girl in the bar and I said “the woman in the floral dress looks stunning” and then she just made a beeline to you. I’m glad she did though now
(I told her I’d text her the next day) should I add a question to continue the conversation or should I make it shorter?
28F. went on a second date with a guy (31M) last night I met. he picked the place, a kind of upscale small plates spot, his choice entirely, i would've been happy with anything.
bill comes, it's like $140 because HE ordered most of the plates and two cocktails for himself, i had one drink. he slides the check to the middle and goes "wanna just split it?"
and look. i am not against splitting. i split all the time. i make good money. that is not the issue. the issue is he chose an expensive place, he ordered most of it, and then defaulted to 50/50 like that was obviously fair when i consumed maybe a third of that bill.
i paid my half without making it weird but i left feeling kind of icked and now i feel shallow for being icked.
is this a red flag or am i being a princess about $70? genuinely asking because my friends are split down the middle on this.
My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time about two weeks ago. We had a failed attempt before that because he couldn’t stay hard enough to get it in, but then we were successful the next time. It was both of our first times, as we are each others firsts for everything since neither of us has dated before. The next time we tried, he was hardly able to get it up, and when he was, it would go down the second he put on the condom. I could tell it was really frustrating for him, and I have to admit, I was also quite upset even though I didn’t show it. I love being intimate with him, and seeing him not be able to get hard makes me feel all types of negative emotions (guilt, self consciousness, anxiety, etc). He couldn’t stop thinking about it all of that night even though I tried to convince him it was okay. I think thats what really started this whole thing. Ever since that second attempt, he has been so nervous and self conscious and all he can do is worry about whether or not he can get hard. It bothers me to see him this way and it makes me feel so bad that he’s so upset. He’s getting into his own head about it way too much which I think is what’s causing him to struggle getting hard. Like it’s all he can think about when we get intimate, and he gets really upset when he can’t get it up.
If any of you have had this experience, please help me in any way you can. I have no idea how to help him, and I think if I don’t do anything, he’ll only get worse because he thinks about it way too much. I’m at such a loss right now and I really need help.