Do they not realize the irony in this statement? So looks don’t matter but the woman must beautiful, so obviously looks do matter.
I swear, every woman I match with and talk to is booked solid for weeks. They have a ton of girlfriends, a ton of events, a ton of obligations.
Their calendars are booked solid.
So after a couple attempts at securing a time for a date, I just give up, unmatch, and move on to the next match…where I’ll most likely run into the exact same problem.
What’s the deal? Are men like this?
I don't think it's any secret that dating apps are effectively useless for even average-looking men. I (23M) managed to go a full month on Hinge without one incoming like. You'll hear from both men and women that you should get off the apps and shoot your shot in person... but as far as I'm aware, there just aren't any feasible/acceptable places to do so.
Since it was pointed out to me a year ago, I have been actively noticing that young single women do not go out into public. I can go into town shopping for a couple hours and not see one woman within my age range that isn't also accompanied by a man.
I'm sure as hell not going to be the guy trying to hit on a girl at her place of employment, but as far as I can tell, that's the only place young women go outside their homes. Volunteering events? Every event I attend, the next youngest woman is twice/thrice my age. Bars? I don't drink, and am not looking to match with someone who frequently does so. Hobby events? Either don't exist near me or aren't for hobbies that'd attract a mix of both genders. I'm not going to pretend to be interested in salsa dancing as an excuse to meet women.
What else actually exists now outside of dating apps that would facilitate in-person meeting?
I've been lurking the dating-related subs a lot lately and I've noticed the influx of posts about people blowing their chances with what seemed to be matches that genuinely looked serious about dating or giving things a chance. This applies to both genders but personally the women's POV was more prominent to me.
Some common complaints I saw were guys always turning things sexual and getting pushy, sometimes even downright hostile when they can't get what they want. I just came across another post where a guy went haywire just cause the girl wouldn't go to his place on the first date.
WHY BRO?? The amount of fumbles I've seen lately...
Meanwhile I'm on the other end of this disconnect being genuinely mindful, empathetic, energetic and playful yet i either get ghosted, or matched with the driest human beings known to man. I have yet to come across someone willing to give me a genuine chance. I know being an "upstanding citizen" doesn't make me obligated to date women but what I'm trying to say is this blatant disparity drives me freaking crazy. I didn't have much of an issue getting matches however I've noticed a dip in daily-shown profiles lately and that could be a sign that I've exhausted my options locally. That's pretty much out of my control.
So many people had legitimate opportunities to date but would rather sabotage them because they can't get into women's pants meanwhile on the opposite end of the spectrum, genuine guys who are serious don't seem to have much of a chance sometimes.
I'm really beginning to accept the fact that online dating might be worse off than meeting people organically and am heavily considering just deleting the apps altogether especially for my sanity's sake. The only reason I'm on the apps is because my lifestyle, schedule and geography makes socialising a bit difficult but I'd rather meet IRL any day if provided with the choice.
This genuinely can't be something that only I experience right? Am I interpreting this wrongly?
I (M25) refuse to engage in the nonsense happening on the apps so I want to meet women organically. The problem is I have grandpa hobbies and rarely meet women in my age group (hell rarely women that are single) in the spaces I tend to occupy. The only time I see women in my age group is at the gym but I ain’t trying to bother people working out….I highly doubt I’ll find “love” at a bar or club :/ sooo
TLDR: Any ideas for meeting women organically when you have “old people” hobbies (please don’t suggest gym, bars or clubs)
I never had a girlfriend and im 23y old, ive been nonchalant for the past 3. Someone planted the seed in my mind that acting that way could get me a girlfriend or make the women want me so much. Before my 20s i was the kind one, listened so much i knew every woman's problem there is. Long story short i was rejected or not seen that kind of way (attractive). 20-23 "nonchalant", a better word is invisible.
If there is anyone who has any advice i would appreciate that, thanks.
I was watching porn and came across of a video that looked familiar, it was my gf of 8 years. We’ve broken up a couple times for no more than 3 months in the span of our relationship. There’s a chance it was while we were broken up but also while we were together since it fits in the timeframe. I just feel so disgusted seeing that and i don’t think i’ll ever look at her the same. Not even sure if I can still be with her after seeing it.. I just don’t know what to do especially since we have a 4 year old daughter together..
Any advice? Do I confront her about it?
Hi guys, I am a 29F Asian, turning 30 in October and I made life changing decisions very recently. I studied my masters degree in Europe, discarded my PhD plan and came back to SE Asia after some years. I had 6 years relationship and 2 situationships before I moved. Packed my emotions and left the life I had there, and so currently I feel very broken to be honest. I always want to commit in a relationship but these 2 situationships I had was due to the partners who didn’t want to commit in long-term relationships by giving me the same reasons that I am leaving at the end of the day. and so they want to enjoy the time while i was there. I didn’t learn the lesson in the first one, so I dated another one afterwards who gave me the same reasons, but at the same time I had a hope that maybe he will change his mind after we are together for some time. Unfortunately he didn’t, so I blamed myself that I ignored the signals.
Anyway, I decided to move back to SE Asia, but still it’s not my home country. I feel lost again in who to date because the locals cannot communicate in English very well, and the foreigners are either backpackers or staying in this country temporarily as their career breaks or step stones. I opened some dating apps and went on some dates, but we didn’t align with each other unfortunately. Dating is extremely difficult as I’ve noticed, but I want to love someone genuinely with my whole heart again.
As I mentioned before, I am very scared of turning 30, I feel so late since I am now starting everything all over again while people around me have settled in terms of marriage, family, career, finances and so on. I am well-educated, well-traveled the world, emotionally mature, have good career now, and thanks to Asian genes, I don’t look like I am turning 30. I usually believe that I will find someone who is the same emotional and intellectual level as me. However, I can’t lie the reality and lost the hope now.
Why is it too difficult to date in this era? I am very close to give up on love :(
No apps required. Perfectly safe environment with cameras, easy to politely decline, but are you inviting unwanted attention that could turn nasty? Like, what if they follow you out the shop. What then?
Seems a good idea, but also a bad one. Would you grab a pinky?
I (28, F) went on a second date with a guy over the weekend, and at one point he told me he had pictured me naked. He then said he wondered what color my nipples are and that he was curious to see them.
I honestly found it kind of odd to hear someone say that out loud on a second date. I have really small boobs and have always been pretty self-conscious about them, so it caught me off guard.
Is this just something guys think about but usually don’t say? Do men typically picture women they’re dating naked?
I’m not currently on any dating apps but I keep coming across men saying it’s a bad thing (both in real life and online). I haven’t asked anyone in real life I’ve heard complain about it because they were in a supervisory role and I felt it would be awkward but I’m curious. In just 2026 so far I’ve been to 12 countries and love to travel and do so as much as I can and I’ve been thinking about trying the dating apps and just curious if that’s a bad thing to put. I feel like it’s an important part of myself and my lifestyle and not listing it would seem odd.
I know this is a hot take among men but hear me out. I’m not talking about wanting a guy cause he has a nice car or the best house. I’m talking about simply wanting a guy who can pay his bills, have employment, save money, invest, and have a good credit score. These are all things that prove you’re a responsible adult who can handle life to some degree.
Do I think it’s good for women to have those qualities too? Absolutely! It’s just annoying when all these men are like “women just want money” like bro most just want you to not blow all your money on bs and be a responsible man. It also probably gives women a psychological feeling of safety like if I live with this guy we won’t have to worry about our power getting cut off or the car getting re possessed.
I've been talking to this girl, we're both 30, we met like 3-4 times but its mostly me that initiates things, outings. Its me who said I liked her first, its me who initiated the kiss, its me who always initiates text messages specially. So yeah Im not trying to be a begger for anyone 😂 I sent her flowers recently, and then she got my birthday wrong days later kkkkkkk. Now its not that this bothers me, but I know behaviour has meaning and I tend to overlook things so Im trying to do that less. Also I feel like in the early stages of dating someone its something you wouldnt really get wrong when you actually like someone, or am I wrong?
We did start to get intimate one time but then she asked to take it slower and said it takes her a while to really get intimate with someone, which I did gladly, I dont mind, we dont need to be ripping each other's clothes off right away because I too need a really strong connection. But there's no effort from her end to me. Its possible she does like me, but as someone who believes in finding her person, who wants to get married and have kids one day, Idk how you'll find that person if you dont put effort in the people you say you like. If its a thing where she's just coasting and got options, well I got options too and they put effort, so cant keep watering a flower thats not growing kkkkkk. Maybe the idea of commitment brings her anxiety, maybe she just enjoys hanging out with her friends more and romantic connectiond are a dime a dozen to her. Who knows, clearly communication has not been consistent in the room, but thats not for a lack of effort from my end.
So I matched with this guy two or three days ago. He leaves for vacation soon so I asked if he was able to meet before then. The vibe on message was good, he leaves for two weeks so I honestly didn’t want to waste time on someone if the vibe in real life isn’t good. He said it was difficult to meet before then. Told me to please don’t be mad. I told him that’s totally fine and we will meet afterwards. Last minute he said he could meet today so I agreed.
From the beginning I noticed he said things like 5 times as if he was embarrassed about them. Also I could tell him something and not even 5 minutes later he would ask a question I literally just told him. I didn’t completely feel the vibe, he came off as pretty insecure and not in a good way but in a ‘I want to overcompensate way’.
He talks about how much fun he had and he wants to meet again. I tell him we will see when he’s back. He wants to set a date right away, I told him I can’t because I don’t know when I need to work then. In my mind I was already thinking about how to gently let him down but I honestly also was okay giving him another chance because he didn’t fundamentally do something wrong you know.
At the end of the date I give him a kiss on the cheek and he turns his head so it’s on the mouth and tells me ‘sorry I just really wanted to do that’. He sees that it made me uncomfortable and we say goodbye and he walks off.
Afterwards I text him I’m home. He says sorry for making me uncomfortable. I tell him I want to take things slow and he tells me it’s better to just call it off. I don’t message back because I think that’s fine and that’s that.
10 minutes later I get a message ‘I mean the first impression is ruined now right.’ Ten minutes after that another message: ‘do you still want to see each other or shall we just quit this’
I don’t immediately answer because I just went to the gym, which he knew. And he messages me again ‘you can answer me you know’. At this point I’m kind of pissed off and message him saying ‘I think it’s better indeed to call it off.’ He immediately responds with ‘was I that bad?’. I tell him the date was okay but his behaviour afterwards shows me we’re not a good match. I don’t immediately answer and you keep messaging me when I don’t. The last message was passive agressive and inappropriate and you literally said you want to call it off and then just change your mind’
He begins messaging me accusing me of wanting to meet up too soon, how he had to redo his whole agenda for this (mind you, I told him it was completely fine to meet up after). And some other things. He quickly deletes them afterwards and I just message hil back: look it’s clear you can’t handle the rejection, I’m sorry for that. I wish you well and hope you have a great vacation’ and god what he messaged afterwards. i’m in shock.
He tells me I didn’t reject him. I wanted to meet up so soon and he wasn’t even attracted to me so I shouldn’t even mention a rejection. I am so glad that I did this through text. Who knows what would have happened if I did it in real life. He sent some more rude words which I won’t repeat but I think the lesson here is: please stay safe and follow your gut.
EDIT: he has since apologised and blamed being tired for it and has asked me some questions which I honestly won’t answer anymore
Basically the title. I (30F) found so often when meeting someone out in the wild, after chatting a bit and establishing a mutual connection, a lot of times the guy will offer his Instagram instead of offering/asking for a phone number. I don't know if it just as I've gotten older but that's started feeling a little immature. Does anyone else feel the same or do you not have a problem with connecting via socials?
Current situation: Matched with a guy on Hinge, chatted for a few days, then he hits me with the 'I'm never on here, but here's my IG, let's connect there'. It kinda bugs me, but I don't know if I'm just overreacting.
Have you ever been genuinely interested and romantically engaged with a woman and then lose all spark and interest after you have sex? Why? What changed for you? Unless the sex was really bad, which honestly I still don’t think is a dealbreaker because if you like someone, then you learn how to have good sex together and what you both like.
Already posted on advice but I do want to share my experience as far as possible on here.
I'm 20F and have now deleted the app but I've been a hinge user for about 8 months and I went on an average of 3 dates a week. The aim was to get a comprehensive view of the people on hinge to test it against apps my friends use like bumble and tinder. If I was going to do the apps I was going to really commit. Looks became irrelevant and I responded to everyone in my likes and went on a date with anyone who seemed like a decent guy. My vetting wasn't fool proof and I ended up with some CRAZY stories. So here's my weirdest ones:
1 My first ever hinge date. He pissed on the side of the road in the middle of Kings Cross. Turned around mid stream and asked "is this a turn off for you?"
2/10 - public indecency AND we'd just passed a pub. Plus HE ended up ghosting ME. That did a number on my pride cuz how do you piss in front of me and then think I was bad enough to be ghosted
4/10 - you were a fun date but being stupid enough to jerk it with a rando on discord is... A red flag. Bless your poor horny soul 🙏
3/10 - your thick skull and lack of confrontation resulted in us having a middle aged man third wheeling for the first 45 minutes. He tried to feed me biscuits and you said you were annoyed you didn't get to try any because the biscuits looked good. Maybe you should have gone on a date with him.
5/10 - Things were going well until that point and the direct eye contact you made was concerning. I have a feeling I'm going to be reciting this story on your Netflix true crime but you did buy me fries and ice cream.
1/10 - I fell into the canal on the way home because I couldn't see. Was it so hard to get me on a bus? I feel tricked fr you coulda just let me go back to my flat where I have THREE PILLOWS ALL COVERED AND A DUVET. You folded MY jacket to use as YOUR pillow and my back ached for days. I would wish for both sides of your pillow to be warm but first I gotta wish for you to buy a pillow.
10/10 - ended up having a fun girls night out with an added man! I apologise that this date probably sucked for you, but you were such a good sport for trying. You ghosted me and that was probably valid after my Elvis impersonation I'm sorry.
Because of the word limit I can't add anymore but I have so many wild date stories from Hinge. All to say, these are just a small handful of stories from a long experience. I've had some really really awesome experiences as well. Most of you on Hinge are really decent people and I wish almost all of my dates nothing but the best. To the ladies out there trying, good luck, stay safe and have fun!
Is this common? I’d like to think my previous relationships have ended over fundamental incompatibilities so there’s no reason either of us would ever reach out. However the girl I’m currently seeing, along with many girls in the past, get texted by multiple different ex boyfriends all the time. I don’t get it.