u/Jrgaming42

I 23M have struggled with bad mental health stemming from multiple reasons.

Since graduating college I’ve been through two jobs now on my 3rd which I like but lack confidence in. I have a less than desirable social life. I don’t really have guys hitting me up asking to come over or make plans. I live with my parents which is getting tiring because I want control over my life and space. I however love not paying rent so.

I also have tried to help my health but keep being a lazy piece of shit and not trying to cook. I go to the gym but haven’t in a week now. I’m a 6’5 dude who weighs around 215 with a belly. I have the least confidence ever for a tall guy.

To add to it I’ve been single for over a year and feel like any woman I’m into they don’t even see me. The apps also are a nightmare because the only women that like me I don’t find attractive or they’re really weird. I just feel like a loser honestly. I also had a longtime friend leave me out of the wedding party for his wedding. I got an invite but I’m not going I’m sick of feeling like a burden on people or not cared about.

I love the pajama Sam games I played them as a kid but now at 23 have debated replaying some of them. Is there any good YouTube channels that play through each of the games?

I 23m was at Chick-fil-A today and the girl who took my order said she liked my shirt. It was of a band she liked and we chatted for a little about music taste and such. As I drove off I said “screw it imma circle back and ask for her number.” I tend to get nervous and stuff around women so this was a moment of bravery for me.

She politely said she had a boyfriend and gave me her insta instead. I told her to have a great day and that was that. It showed me that rejection can sometimes not feel demeaning or feel like I’m a problem. I’m glad I was able to get more comfortable talking to women.

I 23M need advice specifically from people who have dealt with loneliness, low self esteem, anxiety, depression, etc and improved your life. I currently live with my parents but I’m thinking of moving out in the near future.

Growing up I’ve taken things people have said about me severely. It’s hurt my self esteem and overall peoples words hurt my feelings. Overtime it made me essentially believe I look bad, act weird, or overall don’t have a good life.

I do have areas of success such as academics (I have a masters degree). It’s an area I feel confident in and happy with. My main grievances is I find myself without friends, struggling in dating, negative feelings of myself, and overall not being happy or satisfied.

In dating I’ve also had multiple experiences that made me feel insecure. One was sex related when I was 16 where after the act she would essentially roll over and give me the silent treatment. I also have dealt with verbal abuse.

I’ve noticed that a lot of times people yelling at me makes me feel fear and anxiety. I also have dealt with anxiety about my grades, confrontation, and overall my life.

After college my social life died. I really only talk to one friend most of the time and he can get on my nerves. I feel lost and like there’s something wrong with me. I simply want a life I can be happy about.

I go to the gym but still don’t feel happy with my body or looks. I want friends who care about me and have fun with me. I want to have a significant other so I can have companionship. I dream of being a husband and father. I fear my hopes and dreams aren’t possible or will be fulfilled.

I also struggle to meet people because I don’t go out much. I’ve never really been to the bars enough to be comfortable. I don’t attend church much despite having religious beliefs. How can I improve my life and find happiness with these issues and qualms? I greatly appreciate you for reading this.

I am currently reading Fire and Blood and I’m at after fish feed in the dance. It’s way different than the show and I’m understanding the frustration of the show. I’m having trouble keeping up with all these lords I’ve never heard of before in these battles. Is this normal when reading it?

I 23M have a hard time finding friends and having a social life. Since college has ended I’ve noticed everyone I knew either has a significant other they constantly spend time with or has moved away. It feels quite lonely at times and I struggle to have people to even have phone calls with.

I currently live with my parents but I’m hoping to change that by the end of the year and move into an apartment. I want to gain independence and discover myself.

Some of my interests include watching football, board games, music, movies, gym, walks, etc. I’m also open to new hobbies or interests. I want to state I’ve never really been a party type of dude or into the bar scene. I’m open to it but it’s super scary going alone and I legit don’t know how to act. I feel super awkward and insecure in my social interactions.

I just want friends who want to spend time together doing stuff like fishing, going out to stores, hanging out, going to the gym, going for walks, enjoying football games or concerts, etc. I see all these people online with friend groups and a thriving social life. It can feel like nobody cares about me or what’s going on in my life. I don’t get phone calls or texts. Any and all advice on this helps?

I’m just curious to what other men’s perspective is in this and what they find attractive. I’m also curious on how to not be offensive with this topic. I personally like to workout and be active so I prefer to date someone who also like that. I also just care about overall health and being overweight does cause health issues.

Edit: I dated an ex who gained weight and she refused to improve her health which was a contributing factor to me ending things. I’m also talking to a girl that’s heavier and she seems really cool but I’d prefer if she was active. What’s the best way to handle that? She’s mentioned that she’s tried losing weight before. I’m also 6’5 and weigh around 215.

I 23M have a friend 24M who has told me about a girl he wants to set me up on a blind date with. I know what she looks like and she’s cute. I don’t know anything else about her except she’s religious. Now my friend is well aware I’m not interested in waiting until marriage.

She could or not be but he said he gets the vibe she’s compatible with me and very sweet. I personally feel pessimistic about it but I truly don’t know her so at the end of the day I don’t know.

I matched with this woman 27F on tinder and she seems sweet. She’s been married before which I don’t mind but my friend judged the hell out of her for it. He’s like “you’re 23 you have options”. Acting like people can’t change after marriage or that it’s insane or a red flag for it to have not worked out. She said the main reason was he couldn’t hold down a job. She also wants kids as do I.

I also have talked some to two other women but I don’t think I’m too interested in them. I promise I’m not a player type of dude I just want to find my person and live happily ever after. What should I do and how do I navigate this?

I 23M had a first date with 21F. I think it went well I took her out to dinner and we ended up talking for hours. We talked about various things like highschool memories, what we want in dating, the future, etc. There’s some overall agreement. She at first didn’t think she was ready or had too much going on to date (she just moved and is starting at a new college). She regretted that told me about it and we had a good date. We are planning to see each other again tomorrow.

I asked her what her love langue is and she said she’s not good with physical touch specifically “I don’t like people touching up on me” but mentioned she’s more touchy feely with a close friend of hers. The friend is a woman who’s married they’ve known each other a long time. I said physical touch is my biggest love language and words of affirmation. She said my two favorite are what she’s worst at. She also said she enjoys her independence and space. She essentially wants us to be able to have separate lives outside of a relationship (which I agree with).

She also asked about how often I think we should see each other and talk (via text) and what if she felt like not taking. I gave her the example of if you’re busy and won’t respond a large part of a day a heads up is appreciated. She felt fine with that and understands me I’d say. She asked how many kids I want I said 2-3 but open to other numbers. She said 1 and maybe none but said that could change. I’m not worried about it because we are young and life changes. We also agree that seeing each other at least once a week is a good balance.

She mentioned not having much of a dating history because it “wasn’t her thing” says she basically had like 2 serious relationships. I don’t know about her sexual history or anything. I don’t know but I get the vibe she potentially has been hurt or assaulted. I totally understand if she doesn’t want to talk about that and won’t try to pry. I want her to feel comfortable with telling me only whatever she wants to.

She seems very sweet and genuine. I asked her despite wanting her own space and avoiding dating what she wants from it or why do it. She simply said having a person to share life with or something to that effect. I get the vibe she wants a romantic relationship but just wants to be careful with her heart. I also am probably way overthinking this stuff.

I know I do enjoy physical affection including hand holding, hugging, cuddling, kissing, etc. I also enjoy my partner initiating that. I’m not in any rush for those things in dating but also know I want that. She felt really easy to talk to so that’s a good sign. We never discussed sex at all which is probably normal for a first date. She mentioned she’s religious and didn’t ask anything relating to my beliefs even after I asked if there’s really important things she wants or doesn’t want in someone.

Overall are there any major things that could be a red flag? My feelings are that I simply think she’s a good person and I enjoyed being around her is just keep seeing each other. I appreciate all advice and guidance.

I’m online a decent bit and see many women talk about the habits and behaviors of the men they’re married to or dating. I understand nobody is perfect that’s fine. I just see women say things like “he’s got a porn addiction” and “he’s cheated on me”. I also see stuff like “he doesn’t communicate and gets mad at what I do”.

I read the levels of abuse women put up with and I’m like how can you do this. I’m not perfect by any means but I’d like to date a woman and get to know her. I even have a friend who’s got a bf who had legit left a bruise on her and treats her like trash.

I just would like to show a woman that there’s gentle, mature, intelligent, kind, and loving men out here still.

I 23m have been using dating apps and when I do match a lot of times I just never get a response. I’ve seen online some seem to like super funny abrasive messages. I’ve also seen some like sweet.

Typically I’ll just give them a compliment like their eyes,hair, or smile. Then try to ask about their hobbies/interests. Should I just ask for a date off rip? I’m looking for a long term relationship. Maybe some women are fine with planning a date then getting to know each other more on it? Any tips and advice helps. Thanks!

I 23m have been single for over a year now. I’ve only had 3 sexual relationships. In my time being single it’s felt hard to not think about intimacy. I honestly desire it but I also actually want a relationship and a true loving connection.

I’ve stopped watching pornography because of how detrimental it is to mental health. I guess it’s just difficult to deal with having a high libido. I also would say I deal with a lot of envy and loneliness.

In some experiences of trying to date I’ve figured out I don’t want to wait until marriage. My reasoning is mainly for compatibility reasons and simply wanting that level of intimacy with my partner.

I see everyone else in relationships and getting married and wonder if I’ll ever have that. I’m the only person I know not in a relationship and it’s quite frustrating. It often feels like there’s something wrong with me.

I know this is a hot take among men but hear me out. I’m not talking about wanting a guy cause he has a nice car or the best house. I’m talking about simply wanting a guy who can pay his bills, have employment, save money, invest, and have a good credit score. These are all things that prove you’re a responsible adult who can handle life to some degree.

Do I think it’s good for women to have those qualities too? Absolutely! It’s just annoying when all these men are like “women just want money” like bro most just want you to not blow all your money on bs and be a responsible man. It also probably gives women a psychological feeling of safety like if I live with this guy we won’t have to worry about our power getting cut off or the car getting re possessed.

I 23m feel like a truly hopeless romantic. I have wanted to fall in love and find my person my whole life. I dream of having a beautiful bride who loves me who’s excited to have my last name and share life with me. Who laughs at my jokes and feels comfort when I walk into a room.

I want to understand a woman all of her dreams, fears, and desires. I want to give her fun surprises and make her feel loved. I want her to know everyday I love her. I have experienced multiple rejections but just struggle to keep pushing for that person. My future wife I want to meet her and love her.

I was in junior year of highschool and I was in band.
I met this girl at one of our football games from interacting with the other band. We hit it off and started a relationship.

One day we were at my house just hanging out. We started making out and then started dry humping.
I had only had sex with 1 woman at the time so I was much enjoying this. We didn’t go past the dry humping but suddenly stopped and had a discovery.

I looked down and my jeans had blood on them. Yes she was on her period and she bled through her jeans and onto mine. She was so embarrassed but I comforted her and told her it was alright.

I called her “my little ketchup packet” and she proceeded to smack me on the arm. I definitely deserved that in hindsight. We got cleaned up and I swore I’d never tell anyone about it and I haven’t until now.

We ended up breaking up later because of incompatibility. A few months after one of my best friends asked if he could date her and I said sure even though I kinda felt hurt. They’ve been together ever since for over 5 years and are now engaged. Hopefully they’ll invite me to the wedding. I genuinely hope they have a happy and long marriage. Maybe someday I can find my person too.

I 23m struggle on dating apps and online presence. I have had multiple instances of matching with women and then they get a glimpse of my Instagram and ghost me. I simply believe in doing myself a disservice with bad photos and clothes.

I’ve noticed that other men have way better photos of themselves online I just don’t know how to take better photos of myself to look better, more confident, less awkward, etc.

My wardrobe specifically for summer or hotter time seems bad. I wear mostly black or graphic tees and notice most men simply wearing basic tees with lighter colors (blues, reds, greens, etc). Shorts is an area I think I need to improve on as well along with shoes.

Context I’m a thinner guy who’s 6’5 but doesn’t have muscle mass. I also have a slight gut but nothing crazy. I also wear glasses. I can also showcase my dating profiles for more advice. Any advice on how to improve my overall looks and what women specifically look for and judge would help a ton. I’d also appreciate certain places/brands to recommend for shopping. I’m mostly talking simple everyday clothes out and about.

I’m going to the Raiders vs Saints game and got 3rd row!!!! I’m so excited to finally watch my Raiders in person I’m excited to see the fans and have a blast. We better kick their ass. JUST WIN BABY!!!