u/Ok-Strawberry277

If so, do you think this is gendered? Like men generally look better in person and women generally look worse?

Anyone experienced this? Like I stare at her pictures and have no scientific reason to explain why I’m not attracted to her, because she is objectively hot.

Hi! Suffered an injury to my rib cartilage around 4 years ago that never healed correctly. Since then my back muscles, shoulders, neck, and chest is incredibly tight and makes it difficult to breath, move around, etc. In fact the muscles are so tight I have diagnosed nerve compression which causes burning in my arms and facial flushing when irritated.

I’ve been on ibuprofen, muscle relaxers, Xanax, hydroxyzine, you name it. I’ve tried physical therapy, massage, TENS, dry needling. NONE of that has helped as much as alcohol. It is the only way to release the muscles around my ribcage and back.

I have two-three drinks then walk around 7k steps. I wake up the following day feeling like new. No more tightness in my back and chest. Obviously this isn’t a long term solution because certain movements will cause tension to come back, but what the hell. The only muscle relaxer I’ve been on is methocarbamol which I guess is one of the weaker ones? Gonna bring this up to my neurologist.

Made a post about this yesterday. Well, I went over there to build the bed frame and I will tell you, it’s exactly what most people in the comments thought would happen. I showed up to find this girl wearing a nightgown with nothing under it at 7pm.

While I was building the bed she tried to get as close to me as physically possible, touching my hands while I’m screwing stuff in, etc. When I finished she said “there must be some way I can thank you” and well… yeah I saw it coming from miles away. She wanted to test out the new bed.

I turned her down. It didn’t feel right. I explained that I’d just gotten dumped out of nowhere by a girl that spent a month love bombing me, talking about our plans to have kids and get married and travel the world. I’m trying to be so cautious in my relationships after that. Maybe I just don’t find this girl super attractive? I don’t know.

I still feel sick to my stomach that I rejected her. I mean it’s literally sex why would any dude say no. I could tell she was really putting in a lot of effort to flirt and make this happen. I kissed her on the cheek and gave her a hug when I left. Feeling like dirt 👍🏻

I don’t care either way I’ll help her out she’s like 5’1 tiny person, don’t mind building a bed frame it takes like 10 minutes. Just curious if this happens frequently, I see girls with “help me build furniture” on their hinge prompts all the time

29M dating in big city. Don’t want this to sound cliche but I think I’m being too nice and tolerant of abusive behavior simply because I don’t like being alone for very long?

Girls I date will tell me “people have said I’m cruel or emotionally abusive before … I used to do cocaine all the time but stopped”. Or they’ll ask me “do you think I’m selfish? Do you think I’m narcissistic? Maybe I’m just like that”

I ALWAYS give them the benefit of the doubt and every single time I end up getting burned and tossed aside like the relationship meant nothing to these women. I feel like I should really see the signs and leave before I get too invested but I’m blinded by the intense chemistry I often feel. The relationships also move really quickly, and it feels so good but maybe I need to take things slower?

Just a vent, feel like vomiting. Never dated someone I’d consider avoidant before this girl. Just broke up after a month. First two weeks were most intense of any relationship, spending 5/7 days together. She asked to be exclusive after one week. Talks of moving in and having kids and hiking the world together, and it was all just bullshit.

Just talk, so much physical intimacy, but never any emotional connection. No “I really like you” or anything. She did open up to me about trauma one time but refused to talk about her emotions otherwise. I did so much for this girl, poured myself into this relationship. Two weeks in we had a conversation where she said she felt bored, asked me why I don’t have many friends, and accused me of trying to imitate her hobbies.

I saw her slowly withdraw even though she kept physical intimacy, same amount of sex, handholding and kissing in public but I could tell something was up. Then out nowhere she just says we aren’t compatible. Treats the entire thing like a transaction. During the breakup she said “we can always talk more if you have any questions or would like clarification on something”.

She said she never felt that strongly and withdrew after she got to know the kind of person I am. She said I make her uncomfortable all the time, even though SHE would ask to spend days on end together up until the end. Her defense was that she’s had long relationships with others before and she just doesn’t feel anything (despite all of her conduct to suggest otherwise). She says she was giving things a “fair chance”. How does that even make sense? Humans act on their feelings, they don’t force themselves to do things.

Her actual reason for ending the relationship was that on 3 instances, I was unnecessarily rude to someone. I snapped at someone in Target because I was stressed over my sisters cancer (sorry), someone driving made a dirty face to me and I raised my hand out of frustration (sorry again), and apparently I “asked for water” in a condescending way at a restaurant (huh?). I’m generally so kind and the girl I was with for 6 months before this thinks the same as well. What the fuck is going on, was this girl just a complete narcissist using me until I was no longer useful?

Hello. My girlfriend and I have been together a bit over a month. About a week into dating she had me take this attachment style quiz and told me she’s an avoidant. After doing some research on what that means and watching her behavior over the last few weeks I’ve become seriously worried.

The beginning of the relationship moved very quickly, and she used to say things like “I’ve never done X so fast before” or “you’re the first guy I’ve ever had meet these friends”. She said she’d never meet a partners parents until at least 6 months in, but then asked to meet my mom after 2 weeks (she did). She also communicated to me some pretty severe trauma from her childhood that she’s only ever told to her best friend, the boyfriend in her longest relationship, and me.

She describes herself as “emotionally frustrated” or I guess bottled up and that she has difficulty expressing her feelings. I’m fairly secure if not slightly anxious attachment style and I have been pouring into this relationship, reassuring her and trying to make her feel at ease. I told her I’m fine moving slowly and that I’ll wait for her to become comfortable opening up to me fully.

Three weeks in we had an argument where she called me a loser and accused me of acting in certain ways just to appease her, that essentially I’m being fake to make her like me. It’s like she’s paranoid that I’m tricking or manipulating her somehow when I’m being thoughtful and caring? It’s things like “you’re just saying that because you know it’ll make me happy”. We also share many of the same hobbies but she’s convinced I’m doing them just to earn her favor..?

At this point I would even describe her as somewhat selfish, mean, and generally cold. There’s moments where she’s very affectionate and sweet, and I can tell she’s making an effort to express her feelings for me. On the whole though, things aren’t great. When I brought up to her that it’s been one month since we started dating, she responded “oh a month? I don’t really care about that”. Made me feel like an ass for even saying anything.

It’s like I’m patronized for expressing my emotions. Recently each time we hangout I’m left feeling somewhat heartbroken even if we spend quality time together. I don’t expect anything excessive after only a month, but it feels like such a switch up from the beginning. I know that’s characteristic avoidant behavior, and I’m trying to just ride it out. How do I tolerate this for the time being while still taking care of myself?