u/Careful-Champion-411

Me(24M) and my friends really enjoy the outdoors and for the labor day weekend we have been planning on renting a cabin out in a camping area for a guys trip. I say guys trip because when we originally, we planned on it just being us. All my friends have girlfriends, I do not, and very frequently, events or trips or hangouts end up including the girlfriends.

I have no issues with them as people, it's just very frustrating to plan to have a good time with my friends, then ending up as the spare wheel because they all decide to bring their girlfriends along. I have made it known that I don't like it, but it's 3 to one and they always promise that the next time it'll be just us guys. Also because they have different interests, they decide to change the entire purpose of the trip to accommodate them and it's less fun

So shocker two weeks ago, the camping trip changed from just us enjoying a weekend of hiking, fishing, hunting and being friends together, into a couples trip. This caused three very big changes.

First, we decided on room arrangements ahead of time, there were 3 rooms and we decided whoever took the couch would pay a reduced share of the trip. Someone volunteered and it was fine, no issues. Now that he was bringing his girlfriend along, they wouldn't both be able to be on the couch so now I was sleeping on the couch. This pissed me off, but I was fine.

Second, very limited drinking allowed because one of my friends girlfriends thinks he drinks too much and he promised her he wouldn't drink much. So now we actually had to adhere to that so we decided on only a case of beer for the entire trip. This I could also be fine with.

Lastly, and what set me over the edge was that we were now going to do more of the campsites more touristy stuff because the women don't like hunting or fishing, so those things were nixed. This kinda defeated the whole purpose of the trip for me. Why am I going to a campsite so I can have some park ranger teach me how to make bracelets or go on a guided nature walk. I just wasn't a fan. So wednesday, 2 days before, I told them I was out.

They were upset as this was going to be the first time we had all been together in a while, but I explained to them that I want to hang out with them and not their girlfriends. As a result, the price per person increased about 200 dollars total. They weren't as upset about the money, but they were unhappy that I did change the entire financial breakdown last minute. They also said I was just being bitter and that if "I finally found a girlfriend" I wouldn't feel the way I did.

I feel kinda bad, and they are my friends and I did want to see them, I just have no desire to hang out with their girlfriends and it's so frustrating they can't take 3 days away from them. So, AITA?

Edit: To clarify a typo, it didn't increase 200$ each. It was 200 dollars total split between them. I was really high when I made this post

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I’m 23M and my wife is 21F. We got married last year and moved in with my MIL after she offered to let us stay for $300 a month plus groceries.
At first everything was fine. We cleaned, did dishes, helped with her three dogs and two cats, bought groceries, and I even fixed her dishwasher and clogged sink.
After a couple months, I started seeing the anger issues my wife had warned me about. Her mom would explode over small things, yell at my wife, call her names, and constantly claim we didn’t help around the house.
A couple months ago, she accused us of not paying rent even though we had. We paid her again and told her to count the extra payment toward the next month. She also complained that we never offered her food, even though I regularly cooked or bought enough for everyone, including her and my 15-year-old BIL.
This Sunday, my wife was getting ready for work and saw some kale salad in the fridge. She tried asking her mom if she could have some but got no answer, so she ate less than half and put the rest back.
Her mom completely lost it. She threw the salad bag on the floor near our room and started screaming at my wife, calling her an animal, a bitch, and other names.
I stayed quiet at first because I usually avoid getting involved in their arguments. Then her mom threatened to go to my wife’s workplace because my wife said she couldn’t talk to her while she was yelling.
When she saw me, she started yelling at me too, saying we needed to “get our shit together.”
That’s when I snapped.
I told her to fuck off and said her reaction over a salad was insane. I told her she constantly says we do nothing even though we pay rent, clean, buy groceries, help with the animals, fix things around the house, and regularly offer her food. I also told her she’s always angry and pushing everyone away.
My wife and I left afterward because I needed to cool down. I was shaking because I normally hate confrontation, but I felt like I finally needed to stand up for my wife and myself.
I talked to my dad afterward and decided we’re moving back into the condo I was already helping pay for.
I know telling my MIL to fuck off wasn’t the best way to handle it, but after months of watching her scream at my wife, I reached my limit.
AITA?

EDIT.My MIL sent my wife a long message that wasn’t really an apology. She blamed us for not helping enough around the house and said anger doesn’t justify yelling or disrespect, which felt ironic given her own behavior. She also claimed we hadn’t paid August’s rent, despite us accidentally paying twice in July and telling her to apply the second payment to August.
My BIL told us that on Sunday, she called her ex-husband and asked him to make me leave because she was uncomfortable. When he refused, she threatened to call the police. I wasn’t threatening anyone or doing anything illegal—I was already packing and would have left if she had simply asked—but police involvement could create serious problems for me.

UPDATE: my Husband called his parents!
https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingshaming/s/EJtXsOMv8c

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Yup. Cannot believe this happened to me.

I arrived at the wedding venue and started to say, "Wow, you look gr...." and midway through my sentence, realized what the hell she was wearing: an all white, floor-length, chiffon dress. I quickly left to go find my bridesmaids, who hadn't seen her yet, and they offered to give her a shawl to cover up but that would likely have made things worse and potentially interfered with the, otherwise, wonderful day. We were all in complete disbelief it was happening but everyone kept their cool.

His mother had sent me a picture of a colored dress months before the wedding and it was perfect. So the surprise was even more of a shock when she showed up in not only a different dress, but a white one. She even had a matching shawl. What's crazy is my new FIL had a tie and pocket square that matched her previous outfit, so we're curious if he even knew about her antics.

Our photographer is changing her dress to the original color she chose in all the pictures and I cannot wait for her to see what we did. Funny enough, the dress looks great in that color. We're waiting a few days to bring up how disrespectful this was to them and just flying high off the fact that our wedding was absolutely perfect in every other way and we're finally married after many years of being together and a ton of planning!!

It seemed intentional but we are not going to let it destroy our relationship but it's certainly going to tarnish it for a bit. Never ever saw this coming!

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Edit/Update:

We are based in the US where it is, unless otherwise stated, extremely well-known to not wear white and it is very disrespectful to do so.

I will not be speaking with her, my husband will be. We talked about it last night and he is going to eventually bring it up. Right now, we are so happy and thrilled with being married, we're riding on cloud nine and it's not the focus. Oh, and we're damn exhausted!

I will update you all with the reaction to the photos when we get them!

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EDIT 2: Removed some details as this story now shows up on Google and in some minor news/blog articles

My brother’s business is going through severe financial issues, and as a result he and my sister-in-law are in a very bad financial situation. Between my parents, siblings, and other relatives, our family has given them over $150,000 combined to help keep them afloat.

They have three kids under 3 and are stuck in an $8,500/month lease until early next year, so their expenses are still extremely high even though their financial circumstances have changed dramatically.

At this point, I don’t think the family is likely to give them much, if any, additional money. Ideally, we would also eventually get at least some of the money we’ve already given them back.

My sister-in-law has an engagement ring that originally cost around $60,000, and I’ve been pushing for them to sell it. I’m getting a fair amount of blowback for that.

I understand that she wouldn’t get anywhere close to the original purchase price and that an engagement ring is highly sentimental. But it’s hard for me to reconcile the family having contributed more than $150k while they continue to hold onto a luxury asset worth tens of thousands of dollars.

At a certain point, it starts to feel like we’re subsidizing luxury rather than simply helping a family through a crisis. If they can sell the ring for a meaningful amount, that money could go toward supporting their kids, paying necessary expenses, or potentially repaying some of the family members who stepped in to help them.

Other people think I’m being too harsh because it’s her engagement ring and has emotional significance.

Am I being unreasonable for pushing them to sell it?

Edit: I was one of the people who lent them money in case it's unclear

Edit 2: They tried to negotiate out of the lease, but landlord says no unless he can find another tenant. They live in a very landlord friendly state so they'd still be on the hook for the remaining rent.

Hey everyone,

I’m a 29 year old male. My ex is also 29 and my parents and my dad’s friend are all around 50.

The last time I visited my parents, my dad told me that his friend had married my ex, who I dated from late high school until about a year after. Now, I realize it’s been a decade and I moved on a long time ago. I’ve dated and seen other women since then, but I still have scars from that heartbreak.

This was the ex for me, not just some random girl I used to date. I thought we were so in love. She would light up every time she saw me. We were best friends and talked about getting married.

Then, during that time, I randomly got a vague text saying she wanted to see other people, and she completely ghosted me. A week later, I found out she was engaged. She had also apparently stolen money from our mutual friend.

That was the last time I ever even heard of her until just recently.

The three of us had been best friends, but within the span of a week it come to light that she cheated on me, stole from him, ghosted both of us, and eloped with this random guy.

That news broke me. I was never exactly the same after that. It was easily the most pain I’ve ever felt, and I still feel traumatized by the whole experience. The loss, the hopeless and lonely dark void it left me with, and the realization that she had obviously been seeing this other man for who knows how long while we were still together.

Now, I guess that marriage ended some time ago.

So last summer, we were suggested to each other on Instagram, and we accepted. I texted her, “Hey, how’s it been?” In retrospect, I’m not even really sure why I hit her up. Probably just wanted some sort of closure or something? I don’t know.

She left me on read for a year.

Fast-forward to the present. A few Thursdays ago, at about midnight, I got a DM from her reading:

“You’ll never guess who I’m with right now.”

I thought that was so weird, given the timestamp and the fact that she had left me on read for so long, just to ask me a question like we’d been talking this whole time.

I asked who. Still no response…

The next day, I was visiting my parents, and my dad comes up to me and says, “Did Mom tell you the funny story? You know that girl you dated? Well that wedding the other week we weren’t able to make was actually her and my friend’s wedding, haha.”

My parents had apparently gone out to a bar with my ex and my dad’s friend who are now newlyweds.

I was in shock and just sat there for a few seconds. All I could say was, “That’s weird,” and I got quiet.

My dad noticed and asked what was wrong. I told him, and I told my mom, who was just sitting there smiling and nodding along, that I couldn’t understand why they thought I would find that funny.

I cried to my mom so many times about her when it happened. I was in such a bad place that I was having suicidal thoughts, and I ended up going to therapy because of it.

Their response was, “That was forever ago. What are you gonna do, cry about it?”

The thought of them being out all night drinking and having a good time with her, and now having her as part of their friend circle, makes me sick.

And yes, the fact that she is 29 and my dad’s friend is 50 is definitely weird to me. But if she wants to marry a 50 year old man, that’s ultimately her business. What bothers me is that this is someone who caused me an incredible amount of pain, and my parents seem completely fine with socializing with her like none of it ever happened.

I was like whatever, that’s a stupid coincidence. It’s not like you knew it was her until you were already met up and talking.

Now this is where I’m coming from, I then asked, “You’re not actually gonna have her over to the house, right? I know I don’t live here anymore, but come on. She broke my heart, and you’re gonna show her hospitality?”

They didn’t care at all and told me to stop being a baby and get over it.

“We’ll call you when she’s over.” They said.

I was pretty disturbed by this but it was a family get together so i didn’t want to say anything else, i waited a while and left. I haven’t spoken to them for two weeks now.

Iv had issues with my parents before, sure, who hasnt? But i generally have a very good relationship with them. So i just want them to have my back a little here. Am I wrong for being upset at them for this?

Does the fact that it was so long ago mean the pain she caused me isn’t valid anymore? Am I being immature about this?

I’m not asking my parents to hate her or cut off their friend. I just don’t understand why they seem to have no consideration for how uncomfortable and hurtful this is for me. Am i stupid for feeling embarrassed about it too?

No one in my circle has really had anything worthwhile to tell me, so I’m looking for some outside input.

Thank you.

I’m in a beer league, and I’m nothing special. I’m not one to brag about anything, but I do love to be on the ice, and I try to better myself when I can.

One of my buddies suggested I take a beginner figure skating class. It took a lot of convincing, but I ended up doing it, and I found it was life changing for my game.

I’m kind of embarrassed to call it my figure skating class, so I just call it my skating class… and now I have some coworkers who over heard me talk to my buddy about my skate class, and they think im just learning how to skate. One of my coworkers confessed to me that they really want to learn how to skate, but they don’t want to go to a rink and be that worst person there, and that she’d feel better going to a rink, if we went together, since we are both beginners.

I’m no beginner. I said I’d go with her, without telling her that I’ve actually been skating since a was able to walk. BECAUSE I don’t your skill level should stop you from skating, it’s so much fun, and no one cares about how good a stranger is doing.

So we go skating, I match her pace, I tell her about how much fun I having. She says she’s having fun too, and wants to go again. Big win!

So we go to the again the next week. While i was getting some water, she falls. Not hard. I skate to her, help her up, and hold her hands for a bit. Not in a weird way! I’m just skating backwards pulling her along helping her build her up confidence again. I didn’t think twice about it.

She texted me today, asking me if I’ve been skating for a while, because when she fell, I got to her super fast, and I was good at skating backwards. I’m honest with her, and tell her I’ve been skating all my life. That sets her off. Message after message about how I’m a lair, and I told her that I’m a beginner. And how she confided in me, about being insecure about skating, and how I took advantage of her insecurity to get a date.

I text back saying that I said I’m in a skating class, and I never said I was a beginner. All I did was agree to go to the rink with her.

She said she’s going to hr for harassment. I told her I did nothing, and I’m gay, so I wouldn’t want to do anything. I also tell her I’m not open to dating coworkers.

I do feel bad, because I did go out of my way to not tell her my skating experience, so she’d go to the rink with me. Also should I have told her I’m gay from the start? Did I lowkey lead her on?

I never post or comment, but I listen to THT regularly and thought this was the place to ask this question...

My husband (29m) has been having to step up to take care of his elderly grandparents (86m) (82f) after some medical issues got worse last month. For anonymity, I will be leaving this vague. My MIL (60f) has several jobs in a couple different towns and one that is out of state about once a month. There is really no other family. So husband and MIL have been splitting time to take care of them since they live 3.5 hours away from us. When MIL is working, he leaves town to go up there, I (27f) stay home with our dogs and special needs cat. Since he works from home, he has the flexibility to work from anywhere, while I have an in person job. Last month, he was gone for about 2 weeks.

Grandparents have been in town for the last week celebrating my husband's birthday, so it has been a lot easier to take care of them, making sure they get meals, take their meds, etc. But they are heading back to their house, and will need support next week because MIL is going to be working out of state.

While we were all sitting around figuring out a plan, I was quiet. (I am more of a supportive observer rather than a decision maker in this family. I do what I can but it's not my place.) They talked about my husband driving them back, staying for 5 days, then switching with MIL when she gets her days off.

I noticed that he would be out of town for my birthday. I decided not to say anything, thinking that he would bring it up if needed, but also because I know that my emotional need is not as great as their physical need. I thought maybe after we left his mom's house, he'd say "I know I will be gone for your birthday", but nothing. I decided not to point it out to him and sound needy and selfish.

But I am wondering if it is better to overcommunicate with him rather than sit back and watch. I know that if I bring it up, husband will be overthinking and trying to decide which is the right move. He will feel guilty that my birthday didn't cross his mind, try and make up for it by making both things work, and then stress himself out even more. This is already a stressful and taxing time for him with their health on top of school and work, and I feel like bringing it up will make his mental health even worse.

I don't blame him for forgetting/not realizing. He's talked about the present he got me, etc. so I know he didn't COMPLETELY forget my birthday. But with being a caregiver, having a demanding job, and online grad school, I know he is getting tunnel vision with his responsibilities. I have had 28 birthdays, I will hopefully have at least 28 more. I am disappointed that I will be spending it alone, but in the grand scheme of things, I will be fine.

So... THT fam... Am I the a***ole for not reminding my husband that I will be alone for my birthday in order to not add more stress to his already stressful life?

Another factor: the day he leaves, I am having a root canal. And given my history, recovery will not be easy. We have 3 dogs and a special needs cat who needs IV fluids every day. It will be a lot for me to take care of them and be in pain. But again, I can manage.

ADDITION: Ok because everyone is calling me a baby for being worried about a root canal, I have genetically bad teeth. My last root canal took 4.5 hours, I am allergic to most pain meds so theres no relief, and the past ones I have had were hell. But that is such a side note to the whole story. Stop fixating on the dang root canal lol

My son (20) is in a relationship with his 1st cousin (19 F). He’s an adult and lives on his own. I obviously don’t like this but still want to support him and from a legal standpoint he not doing anything wrong, as it is legal in the state we are in. What would you do in this situation?

Edit: For context, he didn’t grow up with her and didn’t meet her until a couple years ago.

2nd Edit: I’m aware of the genetic risks with children and have cautioned him about that. He says they would not have children together. No need to keep commenting about that.

I live in a townhouse and our trash bins sit next to each other in the alley behind the houses. A few weekends ago I was taking my trash out and noticed a small wooden toolbox sitting on top of my neighbor's recycling bin. It looked old, but it was in really good shape. I actually knocked on their door because I wasn't sure if it had been left there by mistake, but nobody answered. It stayed outside through two days of rain, so I figured it had been tossed out. I brought it inside, cleaned it up, and ended up using it in my garage.

Yesterday my neighbor came over asking if I'd seen it. Apparently it had belonged to his grandfather, and his teenage son had been told to clean out the garage. The kid thought the toolbox was junk and put it out without asking. My neighbor said he recognized it through my open garage door while walking his dog and asked if he could have it back. I told him I'd already spent time fixing it up and honestly only took it because I believed it had been abandoned. He wasn't rude, but he looked pretty disappointed before saying, "I guess legally it's yours now." My wife thinks I should just give it back because it obviously means more to him than it does to me. I keep thinking if I'd never knocked on his door in the first place, I wouldn't feel guilty about any of this. AITA?

This will probably shock some woman to hear, but it’s very prevalent.

Older women (usually 40+) will use pictures with their very pretty daughters who are often the focal point of the picture.

Here’s the male experience for a 50+ man:

Flips through pics of 40+ women, hits one age 45 who’s stunning with great skin. WOW, she could easily pass for 25! Looks like she must be in a museum standing in front of a mummy display. No, wait! That’s her mom! It’s the mom’s profile.

This is gross and it’s VERY OBVIOUS why you chose a picture as you primary, with that particular daughter whose face isn’t blurred out.

This is even worse than the Mystery Of The Group Shot where we have to figure out which girl is in all of them (we all know which one it is.)

But pimping your daughter? Do you really want me thinking about how I was attracted to her pic more than your own?

Downvote if you want, but please women - do not use your daughters as dating app bait. And yes, it happens A LOT.