u/Careful-Champion-411

My brother’s business is going through severe financial issues, and as a result he and my sister-in-law are in a very bad financial situation. Between my parents, siblings, and other relatives, our family has given them over $150,000 combined to help keep them afloat.

They have three kids under 3 and are stuck in an $8,500/month lease until early next year, so their expenses are still extremely high even though their financial circumstances have changed dramatically.

At this point, I don’t think the family is likely to give them much, if any, additional money. Ideally, we would also eventually get at least some of the money we’ve already given them back.

My sister-in-law has an engagement ring that originally cost around $60,000, and I’ve been pushing for them to sell it. I’m getting a fair amount of blowback for that.

I understand that she wouldn’t get anywhere close to the original purchase price and that an engagement ring is highly sentimental. But it’s hard for me to reconcile the family having contributed more than $150k while they continue to hold onto a luxury asset worth tens of thousands of dollars.

At a certain point, it starts to feel like we’re subsidizing luxury rather than simply helping a family through a crisis. If they can sell the ring for a meaningful amount, that money could go toward supporting their kids, paying necessary expenses, or potentially repaying some of the family members who stepped in to help them.

Other people think I’m being too harsh because it’s her engagement ring and has emotional significance.

Am I being unreasonable for pushing them to sell it?

Edit: I was one of the people who lent them money in case it's unclear

Edit 2: They tried to negotiate out of the lease, but landlord says no unless he can find another tenant. They live in a very landlord friendly state so they'd still be on the hook for the remaining rent.

Hey everyone,

I’m a 29 year old male. My ex is also 29 and my parents and my dad’s friend are all around 50.

The last time I visited my parents, my dad told me that his friend had married my ex, who I dated from late high school until about a year after. Now, I realize it’s been a decade and I moved on a long time ago. I’ve dated and seen other women since then, but I still have scars from that heartbreak.

This was the ex for me, not just some random girl I used to date. I thought we were so in love. She would light up every time she saw me. We were best friends and talked about getting married.

Then, during that time, I randomly got a vague text saying she wanted to see other people, and she completely ghosted me. A week later, I found out she was engaged. She had also apparently stolen money from our mutual friend.

That was the last time I ever even heard of her until just recently.

The three of us had been best friends, but within the span of a week it come to light that she cheated on me, stole from him, ghosted both of us, and eloped with this random guy.

That news broke me. I was never exactly the same after that. It was easily the most pain I’ve ever felt, and I still feel traumatized by the whole experience. The loss, the hopeless and lonely dark void it left me with, and the realization that she had obviously been seeing this other man for who knows how long while we were still together.

Now, I guess that marriage ended some time ago.

So last summer, we were suggested to each other on Instagram, and we accepted. I texted her, “Hey, how’s it been?” In retrospect, I’m not even really sure why I hit her up. Probably just wanted some sort of closure or something? I don’t know.

She left me on read for a year.

Fast-forward to the present. A few Thursdays ago, at about midnight, I got a DM from her reading:

“You’ll never guess who I’m with right now.”

I thought that was so weird, given the timestamp and the fact that she had left me on read for so long, just to ask me a question like we’d been talking this whole time.

I asked who. Still no response…

The next day, I was visiting my parents, and my dad comes up to me and says, “Did Mom tell you the funny story? You know that girl you dated? Well that wedding the other week we weren’t able to make was actually her and my friend’s wedding, haha.”

My parents had apparently gone out to a bar with my ex and my dad’s friend who are now newlyweds.

I was in shock and just sat there for a few seconds. All I could say was, “That’s weird,” and I got quiet.

My dad noticed and asked what was wrong. I told him, and I told my mom, who was just sitting there smiling and nodding along, that I couldn’t understand why they thought I would find that funny.

I cried to my mom so many times about her when it happened. I was in such a bad place that I was having suicidal thoughts, and I ended up going to therapy because of it.

Their response was, “That was forever ago. What are you gonna do, cry about it?”

The thought of them being out all night drinking and having a good time with her, and now having her as part of their friend circle, makes me sick.

And yes, the fact that she is 29 and my dad’s friend is 50 is definitely weird to me. But if she wants to marry a 50 year old man, that’s ultimately her business. What bothers me is that this is someone who caused me an incredible amount of pain, and my parents seem completely fine with socializing with her like none of it ever happened.

I was like whatever, that’s a stupid coincidence. It’s not like you knew it was her until you were already met up and talking.

Now this is where I’m coming from, I then asked, “You’re not actually gonna have her over to the house, right? I know I don’t live here anymore, but come on. She broke my heart, and you’re gonna show her hospitality?”

They didn’t care at all and told me to stop being a baby and get over it.

“We’ll call you when she’s over.” They said.

I was pretty disturbed by this but it was a family get together so i didn’t want to say anything else, i waited a while and left. I haven’t spoken to them for two weeks now.

Iv had issues with my parents before, sure, who hasnt? But i generally have a very good relationship with them. So i just want them to have my back a little here. Am I wrong for being upset at them for this?

Does the fact that it was so long ago mean the pain she caused me isn’t valid anymore? Am I being immature about this?

I’m not asking my parents to hate her or cut off their friend. I just don’t understand why they seem to have no consideration for how uncomfortable and hurtful this is for me. Am i stupid for feeling embarrassed about it too?

No one in my circle has really had anything worthwhile to tell me, so I’m looking for some outside input.

Thank you.

I’m in a beer league, and I’m nothing special. I’m not one to brag about anything, but I do love to be on the ice, and I try to better myself when I can.

One of my buddies suggested I take a beginner figure skating class. It took a lot of convincing, but I ended up doing it, and I found it was life changing for my game.

I’m kind of embarrassed to call it my figure skating class, so I just call it my skating class… and now I have some coworkers who over heard me talk to my buddy about my skate class, and they think im just learning how to skate. One of my coworkers confessed to me that they really want to learn how to skate, but they don’t want to go to a rink and be that worst person there, and that she’d feel better going to a rink, if we went together, since we are both beginners.

I’m no beginner. I said I’d go with her, without telling her that I’ve actually been skating since a was able to walk. BECAUSE I don’t your skill level should stop you from skating, it’s so much fun, and no one cares about how good a stranger is doing.

So we go skating, I match her pace, I tell her about how much fun I having. She says she’s having fun too, and wants to go again. Big win!

So we go to the again the next week. While i was getting some water, she falls. Not hard. I skate to her, help her up, and hold her hands for a bit. Not in a weird way! I’m just skating backwards pulling her along helping her build her up confidence again. I didn’t think twice about it.

She texted me today, asking me if I’ve been skating for a while, because when she fell, I got to her super fast, and I was good at skating backwards. I’m honest with her, and tell her I’ve been skating all my life. That sets her off. Message after message about how I’m a lair, and I told her that I’m a beginner. And how she confided in me, about being insecure about skating, and how I took advantage of her insecurity to get a date.

I text back saying that I said I’m in a skating class, and I never said I was a beginner. All I did was agree to go to the rink with her.

She said she’s going to hr for harassment. I told her I did nothing, and I’m gay, so I wouldn’t want to do anything. I also tell her I’m not open to dating coworkers.

I do feel bad, because I did go out of my way to not tell her my skating experience, so she’d go to the rink with me. Also should I have told her I’m gay from the start? Did I lowkey lead her on?

I never post or comment, but I listen to THT regularly and thought this was the place to ask this question...

My husband (29m) has been having to step up to take care of his elderly grandparents (86m) (82f) after some medical issues got worse last month. For anonymity, I will be leaving this vague. My MIL (60f) has several jobs in a couple different towns and one that is out of state about once a month. There is really no other family. So husband and MIL have been splitting time to take care of them since they live 3.5 hours away from us. When MIL is working, he leaves town to go up there, I (27f) stay home with our dogs and special needs cat. Since he works from home, he has the flexibility to work from anywhere, while I have an in person job. Last month, he was gone for about 2 weeks.

Grandparents have been in town for the last week celebrating my husband's birthday, so it has been a lot easier to take care of them, making sure they get meals, take their meds, etc. But they are heading back to their house, and will need support next week because MIL is going to be working out of state.

While we were all sitting around figuring out a plan, I was quiet. (I am more of a supportive observer rather than a decision maker in this family. I do what I can but it's not my place.) They talked about my husband driving them back, staying for 5 days, then switching with MIL when she gets her days off.

I noticed that he would be out of town for my birthday. I decided not to say anything, thinking that he would bring it up if needed, but also because I know that my emotional need is not as great as their physical need. I thought maybe after we left his mom's house, he'd say "I know I will be gone for your birthday", but nothing. I decided not to point it out to him and sound needy and selfish.

But I am wondering if it is better to overcommunicate with him rather than sit back and watch. I know that if I bring it up, husband will be overthinking and trying to decide which is the right move. He will feel guilty that my birthday didn't cross his mind, try and make up for it by making both things work, and then stress himself out even more. This is already a stressful and taxing time for him with their health on top of school and work, and I feel like bringing it up will make his mental health even worse.

I don't blame him for forgetting/not realizing. He's talked about the present he got me, etc. so I know he didn't COMPLETELY forget my birthday. But with being a caregiver, having a demanding job, and online grad school, I know he is getting tunnel vision with his responsibilities. I have had 28 birthdays, I will hopefully have at least 28 more. I am disappointed that I will be spending it alone, but in the grand scheme of things, I will be fine.

So... THT fam... Am I the a***ole for not reminding my husband that I will be alone for my birthday in order to not add more stress to his already stressful life?

Another factor: the day he leaves, I am having a root canal. And given my history, recovery will not be easy. We have 3 dogs and a special needs cat who needs IV fluids every day. It will be a lot for me to take care of them and be in pain. But again, I can manage.

ADDITION: Ok because everyone is calling me a baby for being worried about a root canal, I have genetically bad teeth. My last root canal took 4.5 hours, I am allergic to most pain meds so theres no relief, and the past ones I have had were hell. But that is such a side note to the whole story. Stop fixating on the dang root canal lol

My son (20) is in a relationship with his 1st cousin (19 F). He’s an adult and lives on his own. I obviously don’t like this but still want to support him and from a legal standpoint he not doing anything wrong, as it is legal in the state we are in. What would you do in this situation?

Edit: For context, he didn’t grow up with her and didn’t meet her until a couple years ago.

2nd Edit: I’m aware of the genetic risks with children and have cautioned him about that. He says they would not have children together. No need to keep commenting about that.

I live in a townhouse and our trash bins sit next to each other in the alley behind the houses. A few weekends ago I was taking my trash out and noticed a small wooden toolbox sitting on top of my neighbor's recycling bin. It looked old, but it was in really good shape. I actually knocked on their door because I wasn't sure if it had been left there by mistake, but nobody answered. It stayed outside through two days of rain, so I figured it had been tossed out. I brought it inside, cleaned it up, and ended up using it in my garage.

Yesterday my neighbor came over asking if I'd seen it. Apparently it had belonged to his grandfather, and his teenage son had been told to clean out the garage. The kid thought the toolbox was junk and put it out without asking. My neighbor said he recognized it through my open garage door while walking his dog and asked if he could have it back. I told him I'd already spent time fixing it up and honestly only took it because I believed it had been abandoned. He wasn't rude, but he looked pretty disappointed before saying, "I guess legally it's yours now." My wife thinks I should just give it back because it obviously means more to him than it does to me. I keep thinking if I'd never knocked on his door in the first place, I wouldn't feel guilty about any of this. AITA?

This will probably shock some woman to hear, but it’s very prevalent.

Older women (usually 40+) will use pictures with their very pretty daughters who are often the focal point of the picture.

Here’s the male experience for a 50+ man:

Flips through pics of 40+ women, hits one age 45 who’s stunning with great skin. WOW, she could easily pass for 25! Looks like she must be in a museum standing in front of a mummy display. No, wait! That’s her mom! It’s the mom’s profile.

This is gross and it’s VERY OBVIOUS why you chose a picture as you primary, with that particular daughter whose face isn’t blurred out.

This is even worse than the Mystery Of The Group Shot where we have to figure out which girl is in all of them (we all know which one it is.)

But pimping your daughter? Do you really want me thinking about how I was attracted to her pic more than your own?

Downvote if you want, but please women - do not use your daughters as dating app bait. And yes, it happens A LOT.

My husband, (M31) and I (F24), have been married for almost 2 years now. I grew up in a household where we regularly brushed and floss, our teeth and here and there use listerine. I am not sure of my husband’s background on his family teeth history because anytime I try to talk about it. He gets sensitive and weird. But I’m 99% sure they did not prioritize their teeth on the other hand. I’m suspicious. There might be some teeth decay Genetics somewhere in the mix.

I digress my husband’s breath was fine up until about a month ago. It started smelling gross. Another hindsight is that he works long hours and would come home, eat, get on the couch, watch TV and fall asleep. If I woke him up to go brush his teeth, which was quite often he would get angry that I woke him up. This is highly annoying to me because why am I having to tell a grown man to brush his teeth?

Once I asked him when the last time he went to the dentist was, and he admitted to me it had been over seven years. This was a shock to me as I grew up going to the dentist every six months. I know I was privileged to have great insurance under my mom Who’s a teacher, but teeth have to be prioritized as they are a huge part of your health.

Now to present time. His teeth started smelling really bad and I complained about it for weeks until he finally made an appointment. He ended up having to get five teeth extracted. Three were wisdom teeth, and two were decayed molars. The smelled has only gotten worse. My mother was thought my 9 month old daughter had pooped her pants when it was actually his breath. I asked him to call the dentist, but he said no. So I called them for him and asked what he could do and they said if it didn’t get better within a week, try a tongue scraper and thera-breath. If that didn’t work it might be a GI issue. When I told my husband about this, he got angry I called.

After a week passed his breath still smelled pretty bad and I refuse to kiss him until it the smell goes away. He gets mad, but like I can’t do it. Am I the AH?

UPDATE: I saw how many of you explained that cavities can be transferable via bacteria and I had no idea that was true. But after doing research, I explained this to my husband, and this was the conversation following.

Him: Ight
Him: Idk why you felt the need to send this when we’ve already been over all this

Me: I’ve never talked about the bacteria spreading

Him: Thanks for being concerned about my health and I won’t try to kiss you anymore. I’m doing everything I can to get this resolved.

Me: That’s all I am is concerned about your health and thank you for respecting that

Him: Please respect the fact I don’t want to hear about it anymore unless I get everything done at the dentist and it’s still going on.
Him: Even though your not trying to make me feel embarrassed or shameful about it still does and I don’t appreciate the reiteration of my bad breath I’m fully aware of it and embarrassed about it

Me: Okay I won’t say another word about it

Thanks everyone for validating my feelings. I don’t want to feel guilty about something that I shouldn’t feel guilty about. He’s going back to the dentist Monday to fill his cavities and he will immediately book a follow up appointment and go to the dentist regularly.

My fiancé (F26) and I (F23) recently got engaged and are starting to plan our wedding. I understand that 90% of weddings are between a man and a woman, but come on!!! We are both femme and plan on wearing a wedding dress, and that is so hard for people to understand for some reason. They have this preconceived notion that someone has to be wearing a suit. Not all lesbians like wearing masculine presenting clothing, and nobody is "the man!!" People keep asking us who will sit on the grooms side, if one of us will have all of the men in the wedding party, etc.

I am also sooooooooo sick of seeing posts like "your wedding dress based on your fiancé's name" and it's all like mark, nathan, jacob, etc. Or the same thing but with engagement rings. Like I get it!! The wedding market does not see me as their ideal audience!! but i am a lesbian and me and my femme fiancé are getting married.

It's nice in the sense that it kind of breaks us out of traditional wedding boxes and we can do what we want, but I am the type of girl who has dreamed ab her wedding since she was little and obsessed over say yes to the dress. I want a classic wedding, and that makes my life hard, because the unconventional things aren't really my style as much.

And don't even get me started on the lesbian wedding tax!! it's like the pink tax!! 2 engagement rings, 2 dresses, 2? makeup artists and hair stylists, twice the accessories and alterations budget, like damn!! we're already paid less than the dollar can you give us a damn break!!!!

edit: we are located in the cleveland area if you have any recs!!!

This past Sunday, I was at the Milk Jug ball toss game (the one where you win the giant plushies). They were short-staffed, so one young employee was trying to run two game booths that were about 50 feet apart.

While we were waiting for her to come back and help us, a grown man who was with a kid (looked around 6–7 years old) just reached up, took one of the giant hanging plush toys, and casually walked away while smirking.

I told the young worker what happened. She immediately called security.

The funniest part? Instead of leaving, this genius went and stood in line for PSYCLONE ( while still carrying the giant monkey/banana plush he'd just stolen. It wasn't exactly subtle, we could see the plush from where we were.

A little while later, I saw 2–3 security staff talking to him. The kid wasn't with him anymore, and neither was the giant plush, so I'm guessing they got it back.

I honestly can't imagine setting that kind of example for a child. Shameless and moronic.

Bonus: after I reported it, I heard someone walking by mutter "snitch." 😂

Made a post about this yesterday. Well, I went over there to build the bed frame and I will tell you, it’s exactly what most people in the comments thought would happen. I showed up to find this girl wearing a nightgown with nothing under it at 7pm.

While I was building the bed she tried to get as close to me as physically possible, touching my hands while I’m screwing stuff in, etc. When I finished she said “there must be some way I can thank you” and well… yeah I saw it coming from miles away. She wanted to test out the new bed.

I turned her down. It didn’t feel right. I explained that I’d just gotten dumped out of nowhere by a girl that spent a month love bombing me, talking about our plans to have kids and get married and travel the world. I’m trying to be so cautious in my relationships after that. Maybe I just don’t find this girl super attractive? I don’t know.

I still feel sick to my stomach that I rejected her. I mean it’s literally sex why would any dude say no. I could tell she was really putting in a lot of effort to flirt and make this happen. I kissed her on the cheek and gave her a hug when I left. Feeling like dirt 👍🏻

My sister Priya got married last month. At the rehearsal dinner, her fiancé Marcus gave a toast that started sweet but turned into this whole speech about "learning what real love means" after his last relationship, how he used to run from hard conversations but "not anymore." Everyone at the table knew he was talking about his ex Jenna, they were together 6 years, it ended badly. He's said before that she "changed how he sees relationships." So this was basically a thank-you toast to his ex the night before his wedding.

I watched Priya's smile get tighter the whole time. When he sat down I stood up and said, "just want to make sure we remember whose dinner this is, some of that sounded like it belonged at a different one." Few people laughed, Marcus went white, Priya looked like she wanted to disappear.

His mom cornered me after and said I humiliated him and should've talked to Priya privately instead. Priya's mad too, she said she'd noticed it and was planning to bring it up with Marcus quietly after the honeymoon, and now I turned it into a whole dramatic moment that overshadowed her actual dinner.

I still think someone had to say it out loud in the room since everyone was already thinking it. But I keep wondering if I just made my sister's wedding weekend about me instead of protecting her.

AITA?

My wife’s good friend got engaged about 5 months ago and they sent out wedding invitations 3 months ago. The original wedding invitations said we could bring our baby as well. The wedding is supposed to last 3 days and right after the last day is my wife’s birthday. I had planned a 4 day trip to San Diego to take my wife to visit a few of her favourite places.

Yesterday, this friend’s mother texted my wife advising they suddenly changed the dates by two days forward and the wedding is now falls during the trip I planned. She also tells my wife we can no longer bring our baby.

Problem is, I already paid for our San Diego hotel and we don’t have childcare because both of our parents are unavailable. We both told the friend’s mother that we can no longer make the wedding.

The friend and the mom are very upset and saying things like they thought my wife was her bff and that if they were truly friends my wife should adjust our trip and pay for our own childcare.

This friend is horrifically bad at planning. My wife had to plan her bachelorette party and paid for it. I feel like I’m in the right to refuse to accommodate her poor planning. My wife feels similar. Who is right?