r/storytimesociety

AITAH for wanting to go on a trip when my bf is uncomfortable with it?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Most-Stable-2853

AITAH for wanting to go on a trip when my bf is uncomfortable with it?

Originally posted to r/amiwrong & r/AITAH

Thanks to a longtime lurker for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Controlling behavior, misogyny!<

Original Post Feb 12, 2025

I (F, 27) have been with my boyfriend Richard (M, 39) for five years. We live together. We both work, we hardly ever argue, and we have a nice, quiet life.

When I was in university, I had a group of friends (both male and female) that I used to do a lot of activities with. We would go hiking, snowboarding, and traveling together. There was nothing romantic going on.

After graduation, a few of them moved away, and I met Richard, so we stopped hanging out. Recently, I got an email from one of my friends from that group who is organizing a reunion. I have been invited to join them on a trip to Whistler. We will be snowboarding, dining, sightseeing, and visiting Vancouver since they are renting a car. It is a three day trip.

Richard hates these people, so I knew he would say no if I asked him to join. I asked anyway, and as expected, he declined. I told him, No worries,since I anticipated his response, and I figured I would just go alone.

However, he got upset and said, “You are not in college anymore, and your partying days are over. You are not going on a ‘fuck trip’ with a bunch of drunk frat boys!” I showed him the email with the itinerary, but he rolled his eyes and said, “You are all going to end up drunk and fucking! Who are you kidding?” Then he asked if the guys were married and whether their wives were coming.

I told him I did not really know and that it did not matter. He responded, “You are not going, and that is the end of it.”

I feel so sad. I do not want to email my friends and say I cannot come, but I also do not want to make my boyfriend uncomfortable.

Am I an asshole for really wanting to go on this trip?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

invisiblizm

>He had the opportunity to come along. Has he alienated you from other friends and family? Is your argument- free life purely because you always obey him?

OOP

>>He generally doesn’t like my friends. I hang out with them when he is not around , like when he travels for work. I’m LC with my family so we hardly ever see them but he is ok with my family .

Natenat04

>>>He isolates you from those you are closest to. This guy is a massive red flag! He doesn’t own you. Does he think so little of you that he just thinks you are going to be sleeping around? Does he regularly think you seek attention and validation from guys? If so, I’d bet it’s projection.

OOP

>>>>Yea that part bothered me. I think he feels threatened because the guys in our group are younger but why would you not trust me to act like a responsible adult ? Why would he think I would get drunk and sleep with them

janlep

> 1. He’s your boyfriend, not your master. He does not get to dictate where you go or what you do. > > 2. Implying that you plan to cheat on him is incredibly disrespectful. Unless you’ve cheated before, he has no reason to insult your morals like this. > > I wouldn’t stay with someone who spoke to me like this or attempted to control me like this. You aren’t wrong, and it’s time to plan your exit from this relationship.

OOP

>>I have never ever given him any reason to think like this ! I have never cheated on him! Ever

Jmovic

> A few questions > > 1. Will you be the only female at the reunion? If no, how many females? > > 2. Is there anyone in the friend group you have any history with (relationship/hook up)? > > 3. He called it a "fuck trip", have your past trips been just having fun and casual hook ups? > > Everyone in the comments will be quick to call him controlling or insecure, but most won't even stop to ask for context and get the full picture. I'm sure that dude whose wife cheated on him with her patients would have been called controlling and insecure if he didn't want his wife to go on that trip.

OOP

>> 1. no ! 3 girls, 4 guys if everyone shows up >> >> 2. none >> >> 3. never >> >> I did invite him to join us but he said no that’s why I said then I’ll go alone

Update Feb 13, 2025 (Next Day)

I keep getting asked the same questions over and over in DMs or comments, so instead of repeating myself, here you go.

1. No, you can’t come on the trip instead of my boyfriend. Please stop DMing me about it. If you keep asking, I will block you.

2. Why hasn’t he proposed yet? Because he will do it when he’s ready. Right now, he’s focused on buying a bigger place.

3. Do I work, or does he pay for my expenses? I work, and we split house expenses 50/50. I pay half of his current mortgage. No, he is not my ATM, and I am paying for the trip myself.

4. No, he won’t be baby trapping me. I have an IUD, so he can’t mess with it. We’ve already discussed accidental pregnancy, and if it ever happens, I will terminate it. He is not ready for kids, and we will have them when we’re both ready. I’m not in a rush either.

5. Why does he hate my group of friends? He thinks they’re dumb and annoying. He came out for drinks with us once when we first met and said afterward that he couldn’t stand them. They’re very chatty and extroverted, while he is quiet, introverted, and hates loud noises.

6. Are other people bringing their spouses? I asked the organizer, and she confirmed that everyone is, except one girl and two single guys.

7. Is my boyfriend invited? Of course, but he said hard pass because three days with these annoying people would be torture for him. He told me, “You’re better than these loud idiots. You’ve matured. Why are you still hanging out with them?”

8. I texted him saying I wanted to talk, and he said, “If it’s about the trip, there’s nothing to talk about.” I replied, “No, it’s about us,” and he never responded. He hasn’t spoken to me since our argument.

9. Does my boyfriend have some infidelity trauma? I have no idea. He had a longterm ex before me who is now happily married. They broke up because she met someone else. I’m not sure if it was an affair or if she simply ended things with him to be with the new guy. That’s all I know.

10. Why am I low contact (LC) with my family? I’m LC with my parents because my dad never stands up for me when my mom verbally abuses me. One example was at their anniversary dinner when my mom made a toast in front of everyone about how they were blessed to have a wonderful son (my brother) and then pushed their luck by having me. She said, “We should have stopped while we were ahead!” When I confronted my dad, he dismissed it as a joke. Later, my mom doubled down, saying, “The truth hurts! You’ve been an underachieving disappointment your whole life.”

No other updates. I’ll talk to him later today. At this point, I’m more hurt that he assumed I would cheat. It’s not even about the trip anymore.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

RSTA30

>Another question that should have been asked to begin with: Do you have a sexual history with any of these friends?

OOP

>>I don’t ! I only had one boyfriend before him. He broke up with me and moved away. I met Richard a few months later. I never ever hooked up with a friend or had a casual relationship with anyone.

Final update Feb 14, 2025 (1 day after 1st update)

Richard and I talked last night. He broke up with me. I told him I was hurt that he assumed I’d cheat on him. He said he was disappointed that I didn’t respect his boundary and chose the trip instead. Then he hit me with, “I thought you were a mature, smart woman, but you are still a silly immature little girl.” Oh, and apparently, I’m not “wife material.”

He also said he wanted me out of his place ASAP and even threw in a snarky comment: “Technically, your name isn’t on the deed. You’re just a house guest. I could kick you out right now.” I was like, “Wow, after five years, you’re really kicking me out in a snowstorm?” ( we had over 30 cm of snow yesterday )

Luckily, my grandma is letting me stay with her until I find a new place. And when my mom finds out? Oh, she’s going to love this. More material to make fun of me.

And yeah, no trip for me. I have packing and apartment hunting to do instead.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

goofygoober2006

>You should still go on your trip. Take out the valuable things to your grandma's then go back to get the rest when you're back

OOP

>>That’s what my grandma suggested but I’m too embarrassed and depressed to even thinking about going on the trip.. maybe next time

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u/Direct-Caterpillar77 — 1 day ago

🔥 Hot ▲ 8.4k r/storytimesociety+2 crossposts

Telling a new employee he’s not cut out for the job

I am NOT OOP

Originally posted to AskAManager

Telling a new employee he’s not cut out for the job

Original Post: October 16, 2024

(editor's note: First Question in the link)

I began managing a new team last month. The team is very green — over half graduated less than two years ago. In the last two years, this department only had a manager for nine months, and by all accounts she was completely unqualified. I was brought in as an experienced manager to provide technical oversight / development.

My field is one where you get a pretty generalized degree, and then choose a specialty that you receive on-the-job training for. It’s pretty easy to change specialties for early career folks.

One of my new direct reports, Tom, has … zero to negative natural talent for his chosen specialty. I know it’s pretty harsh to say that about someone I just began working with, especially one who has not received adequate training. But I have worked with a lot of early career people in this specialty, and he stands out as one of the worst of all time. Past interns have grasped core concepts and tools more quickly.

I’m not saying he’s not smart! He is! I can see ways he would be a great fit for other specialties, including available jobs within our company. But the more I talk through tasks with him, the more I realize that his brain is just not wired to understand this particular job. It’s like trying to explain to him that an apple and a snake are nothing alike … over and over again, with diagrams, while he grows increasingly agitated that I don’t understand they’re both smooth-skinned and therefore interchangeable. (He definitely has a touch of “defensive know-it-all-ism.”)

On the one hand, I just want to spare him. I can tell he’s really frustrated and burned out, working 10 times harder than he should have to on basic tasks. His teammates are thin on patience and try every trick to avoid being paired up with him. His peers in other departments don’t trust his advice and constantly find ways to circumvent him. I think it’s a disservice to lay out a training plan and have both of us invest significant effort into improvements that are unlikely to ever materialize, when the gap is so fundamental. On the other hand, I have no idea how to look an exhausted and low-confidence young man in the eyes and say, “You’re not going to make it here, why don’t I help you find a different job you’re a better fit for?” Especially since I suspect he will be so reluctant to “fail” that he will just double down on learning this job, now dragged down by the knowledge his manager doesn’t believe in him. What would you do?

Editor's note: for Alison's response to the original post, you can find it here

A related link was also provided, alternatives to firing

Update #1: June 19, 2025 (eight months later)

(editor's note: the first letter in the link)

First, a clarification for the readers: I was new to the team, but my direct report Tom had been in his role for 2 years.

I did worry over the readers’ advice that maybe I was jumping to conclusions, so I started with a few one-on-ones directed at learning why he chose this path in the first place and what he enjoyed about it. Basically, he said he likes black-and-white work with clear rules, and our specialty involves rule enforcement.

After a few more weeks of learning his side of things and carefully watching some of his work, I explained to him that a robot can blindly enforce rules, but someone good at our specialty needs to understand and be comfortable using grey zones. I also explained that his skills XYZ were a better fit in other departments, and ABC would hold him back in this one. I mapped it out on a Venn diagram with the role I was recommending, which I was honestly kind of proud of.

Before talking to him, I met with the other department head to let her know I might have someone who could move over to replace a planned vacancy in her team, and to expect an informational interview request from Tom. I also gave Tom the contact info for a friend I have in the proposed specialty, who works at a different company, so that he could get some outside feedback. And I gave him a pile of alternate job descriptions and explained we could keep looking if the proposed path didn’t appeal to him. Tom never spoke to either person.

Instead, he went to a mentor (in our specialty at this company) and told the mentor that I told Tom he “sucks at his job” (for the record, I definitely didn’t say that). The mentor reassured Tom that he was a perfect fit for this job, and then told me off for hurting Tom’s confidence. The mentor agreed to take a more direct role in teaching Tom, since we thought maybe a different teacher/perspective would help. About a month later, the mentor came to me, apologized and said it was hopeless and suggested I put Tom on a PIP.

During this time, Tom’s performance significantly dropped off. He stopped trying hard just to tread water, and just stopped treading entirely. I caught him leaving work hours early multiple times, he was hours late 1-2 days a week, and came in probably-hungover every Monday when he wasn’t calling off entirely. At that point I got HR involved and explained that I was worried about mental health issues or burnout. We put together a tough-love conversation outlining the behaviors that needed to improve immediately while also offering flexibility and support, and advised him of resources like FMLA. To Toms credit, he did 95% return to the required work hours.

Then, an opportunity came up to create a project-based position on my team. To be honest, it’s a really fun job, and other members of my team probably deserved it more, but I was still feeling somewhat obligated to help Tom after he had such an unsupported start to his career. Plus, it was right in his skill wheelhouse. So far he’s doing … extremely mediocre at it. He’s doing the bare minimum despite it being work he said was interesting. It’s a little frustrating because I can tell he knows what a “C” level effort is, and puts in exactly that much effort. But he seems in better spirits, and the backfill for his old role is much better received by the team, so everyone is a little happier now.

When this project ends, if things don’t miraculously change when he goes back to a more traditional role, I’m afraid it’ll be well past time to execute the PIP. At this point, I can’t in good faith recommend him to another department. Overall, I think I was probably too soft on him throughout this process, but I also feel good about trying everything in my power to help him be successful.

Sometimes you can lead a horse to water, but they have to learn the hard way.  

Update #2: March 25, 2026 (nine months later)

After far too long, I was able to terminate Tom.

As the “fun” project wore on, he started telling me he was overwhelmed, and I started stepping in to do increasingly more of his work. Don’t ask me why I found his requests for help so compelling, I’m still mad at myself about falling for them.

After delivering the “needs improvement” conversation, his work improved for a few months. But then something snapped, and he completely fell below the minimum threshold. Multiple important meetings no-showed. Entire afternoons where I was unable to locate him on campus. IMs I would send at 4pm that wouldn’t be answered until 10am the next day. I always called him out, and he always had an excuse of varying believability. It’s difficult to motivate someone who doesn’t care about the impact of his actions on others, especially when he knows all of your threats are idle.

I tried for about five months to get HR to pull his badge data (or support a PIP in general), but they “left me on read” for a half dozen email/Teams attempts, then my main contact went on maternity leave, then the interim said it was protected information(?). Also, all this time I was without a manager to escalate to, as she was fired with no backup plan. Finally, I was able to get the ear of a new HR generalist, and she pulled the data herself. Over the previous six months, Tom had averaged a shocking 25 hours on campus (for a job that cannot be done from home). I bet it was overwhelming for him to get his work done while working half-time!

I was hopping mad. We work on government contracts, so time theft is incredibly serious — he could go to jail! I thought we would be firing him that day, but instead HR made me give him a formal written warning. As part of that, we established set hours he had to be on campus. Within two weeks, he was doing the “bare minimum” again — arriving at 8:10ish, taking long lunches, and leaving at 4:20ish (which, as he argued, his peers do too … but they actually get their work done). Still couldn’t fire him. Then the new year came around, and he called in sick every Monday and Friday until he was out of sick time. Still couldn’t fire him. Then, he was 20 minutes late to a major customer meeting and told me, ‘Well, that part is just boring introductions anyway.” That retort happened in front of an executive, so then I got to fire him.

Of course, I have no backfill, so now I’m stuck doing 40 hours of his work each week instead of the usual 15, but that’s another letter.

Overall, he was a good reminder that you never have enough experience to eliminate your blind spots. I wanted Tom to succeed more than he did. I take that as a sign that I’ve been very lucky to have had almost entirely conscientious and well intentioned employees over the last decade.

I appreciate the comments warning me that I was allowing Tom to fail up, and they weren’t off-base. I think it’s clear to everyone, including me, that giving Tom a fun project was a mistake. But there is always more to a story than can be summarized in a quick update. First, the project was siloed independent work and required strict rule interpretation (Tom’s favorite), while Tom’s original job required constant teamwork and an appreciation for human nature. The entire team got along much better after the reassignment. They even started including Tom in informal team lunches and happy hours again.

Second, the special project assignment was not stolen from anyone more deserving. I advertised it broadly to my team, and no one else was interested. I had rearranged the team assignments when I took over, so everyone was settling into their new spots and didn’t have a desire to shake things up again so soon. I think if Tom wasn’t in the picture, I could have cajoled a high achiever into taking it on, and it would have benefited their career some. But I also respected the desire to keep their role limited until they gained more experience. I wish I’d been that wise early in my career, rather than frantically taking on increasing “visibility” until I was drowning.

Despite the team loathing Tom as a direct coworker, he was inexplicably popular as “the project guy.” I swear, Tom should start a career as a con artist. My team was pretty angry when I fired him (he had texted them the news before I even made it back to my office, so that was fun). I spent many 1:1s reassuring people that they weren’t about to be fired out of the blue, and we have a process that ensures no one is ever surprised by a performance-based termination. I somehow got through all this without making any sarcastic comments about how HR ensures it is virtually impossible to fire someone. It’s been a rough month, but I am excited about a few internal candidates who will likely apply to backfill Tom. Full circle moment — one of them is a mentee from another department who is doing “okay” there, but would be a great skills fit here.

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

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u/Choice_Evidence1983 — 1 day ago

🔥 Hot ▲ 7.0k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

My fiancée wants me to get circumcised before our wedding

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA-000000

My fiancée wants me to get circumcised before our wedding.

Originally posted to r/relationship_advice

BoRU 1 Posted by u/bestupdator

TRIGGER WARNING: >!racism!<

Original Post Feb 11, 2020

We met in the summer of 2018 and got engaged last year. Although our relationship is pretty solid, she can be very hotheaded. For example she gets upset when things don’t go her way and takes it as a personal insult. It’s definitely a “princess” syndrome that can be difficult to deal with but it never caused serious issues.

A couple of months ago she told me that I will get circumcised before our wedding later this year. I said no and she straight up told me that “it’s not a choice”. We argued for a bit and she said that I wouldn’t be attracted to her if she had an “outie” vagina with “extra skin” hanging (her words, not mine). I told her that it’s not really the same thing at all and that I’d be attracted to her regardless. However she got very irritated ignored me for the rest of the evening.

She has not stopped talking about this since that day. Everyday she sends me articles talking about the benefits of circumcision, that it’s totally healthy/safe and why I should do it. She says that “civilized” men get circumcised and that “we’re not like those Europeans”. The thing is, she’s mixed race (half French) and grew up in France so I don’t understand her thought process here. Her ex was French but she repeatedly said that she dislikes French people and wants me to be “better” than that. According to her, that includes getting a circumcision.

Yesterday she brought it up again and I said that she has no right to tell me what to do with my body. She yelled that she spends a lot of time/effort into her appearance and isn’t asking for much in return. While it’s true she spends a lot of money on beauty/hair/facial treatments (around $800 a month) I don’t think you can compare that to a circumcision. She got very upset, calling me “selfish” and “heartless” and basically told me to fuck off. Normally when we argue she doesn’t get that heated but I could hardly tolerate her attitude yesterday.

Later that evening we had sex (yes...I’m stupid) and in the middle of it, she brought up the topic again. It felt very manipulative and when I told her that this is not the right time, she accused me of not loving her and actually started crying. Since she rarely cries this didn’t seem genuine. She got up and told me that “we” will get this done either way and that I shouldn’t let such a small issue ruin what we have. To be honest, that sounded ominous and I don’t even know what to think of it.

Is this something we can work out at all? Throughout our entire relationship she never complained about my uncircumcised penis and now it’s such a big deal to her. It’s giving me anxiety about our future and I don’t even know what to do. We’ve had so many discussions about it and it always ends the same way.

TL; DR My fiancée wants me to get circumcised before our wedding later this year. I said I won’t but she keeps bringing it up and trying to make me feel guilty. Is there any way we can solve this problem?

TOP COMMENTS

AmensFuror

>This relationship sounds hellish. I can't imagine wanting to stay with someone who makes such demands, and who cries during sex in an attempt to influence me. What are you doing?

OOP

>>I’ll be honest, I don’t know

AMarmaladeSandwich

>>> If you don't know, there's no way you should be marrying her. >>> >>> She's showing you who she is, I think you should believe her.

Leohond15

> WOW. This girl sounds absolutely awful. It's bad enough to try and pressure your partner to change their appearance in small ways, but she's trying to force you to get an unnecessary procedure on your dick. And harping on it! Her tears were 100% manipulation. You need to tell her that you are absolutely not altering your body for her ridiculous preference, and i it bothers her that much you will leave (and you should). This is a woman that doesn't respect your bodily autonomy, and therefore doesn't respect you as a person. I honestly don't think this relationship will last, and if you stay with her or god forbid go through with this, you're setting yourself (and potential future children) up for a lifetime of emotional abuse and being controlled. > > I have to add too that I find it pretty strange she's been presumably fucking you for quite some time now and is just insisting you get circumcised now that you're about to be married.

OOP

>>That’s what I don’t understand. When we first had sex she didn’t even comment on it. This came out of nowhere and I don’t understand why she didn’t bring it up earlier.

Leohond15

>>>Did you ask her why she suddenly feels this way? I mean, I don't think the answer will change what I think about her or that this won't last. But I'm genuinely curious.

OOP

>>>>I asked her but she won’t give me a reason. She just says that it’s her preference and that discussed it with her friend

Update Feb 18, 2020 (1 week later)

I don’t know where to start but I’d like to thank everyone on here first. I have received countless PMs, all pretty much saying the same thing. Yet I still wanted to work out things and marry her.

Then a few days after my post we had a huge fight. She threatened me. I won’t give too many details but it was more than enough to give me a wake up call. And that’s when I finally realized that this relationship isn’t healthy or normal. I had those thoughts before but her action that day confirmed it.

Right now I’m in the process of completely removing her from my life. That incident had a significant impact on my mental health and at this point I just need a long break. I have spoken to her parents in private and they’re almost begging me to rethink the whole situation. I won’t.

I still love her but couldn’t do this anymore.

It’s a shock to the system - I went from planning my future with her to now actively cutting off everything that connects us.

I read through all comments again after the incident and they put things into perspective. Thank you again for all the advice and PMs.

TL;DR We are no longer together.

Edit: Post got locked I guess. Thanks for all the kind PMs. (But...please stop asking me to rate the sex out of 10)

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u/Direct-Caterpillar77 — 1 day ago

🔥 Hot ▲ 7.9k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

I (23f) saw a facebook chat between my BF (23M) and his brother (27ishM) that was very cruel about my appearance. I just don't know what to do because it REALLY hurts

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/verysadrightnow1234

I (23f) saw a facebook chat between my BF (23M) and his brother (27ishM) that was very cruel about my appearance. I just don't know what to do because it REALLY hurts.

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Body shaming!<

Original Post June 27, 2016

I will try to make this is as short as possible. I'm taking summer courses and my laptop just broke. I asked my BF (Andy) to borrow his overnight so I could finish a paper. He gladly said yes. As I was procrastinating with reddit in one window the tab at the top started indicating that there was a new Facebook message. Not even realizing that actually Andy was logged into facebook I clicked on the tab, instantly realized that ooops this wasn't mine when I saw the message was from his brother. I didn't cut and paste but basically the message said "Dude, where's horse teeth at? You're up late?!?" (I have terrible teeth, yes, not a secret, so obviously this was about me).

I did not answer but my curiosity got the better of me and I scrolled through their conversation. While there were lots of positive things Andy said about me (she's amazing, she's very fun, I would never cheat on her no matter what [brother was pitching pretty hard to have Andy hook up with a girl from his work], lots of compliments about my rock climbing), he also said called me things like "NoBoobs McGee,""Rat's nest hair" and "avocado nose." He also went through a long conversation sort of at his brothers urging that I am far from the prettiest girl he's ever dated and sometimes he misses the dumb, big boobed types he dated in high school.

Here's the thing, I know I'm not the best looking girl. I wish I was but I've come to terms with my appearance...well at least I thought I had until last night. But I REALLY love Andy. It's not like a first love, puppy dog thing either because I've had boyfriends and been in love before and this is very different.

I don't know if I should or even could get over this...but I want to because nothing he said was untrue (I have no boobs, my nose is too big for my face and I spend all my spare time outside so my hair is a mess most of the time) and it was a private conversation I was never supposed to see. But it still hurts that Andy does not see me as even attractive compared to his other girlfriends.

How do I approach this? Or even should I? I know he would feel horrible if he found I knew about this...I don't want that. But I feel like I need to clear the air somehow...should I?

tl;dr: I saw my BFs private Facebook conversation with his brother that included some very mean and negative things about my appearance. I'm not sure how to proceed.

TOP COMMENTS

surethatsme

>A decent guy would defend his girlfriend and not engage in tearing her down behind her back. If you want a discussion with him then have one, but I don't think it's wrong of you to feel like this isn't something you want to get over. And don't defend him by saying it's true. We all have imperfections, and it is ok for people to comment on them, but this isn't that. This is cruel.

laniferous

>I have to say, I'd never be able to stop hearing those words in my head, no matter how much he reassured me. I know it was a private conversation, but when I am in love with someone, their flaws almost disappear. That he talks about you that way is very telling. Personally, I'd find a new boyfriend.

abcdefghijlm

>Tell him that noboobs Mcgee is taking her rats nest hair and avocado nose and peacing out to find someone who actually treats her with the respect she deserves.

OOP Updated the Next Day - June 28, 2016/Same Post

Edit: took most of the advice here and broke up with Andy. I can't even see strait I'm so broken hearted and crying so hard. He was very apologetic and said he didn't mean any of it but to the person who said "can't unring a bell" is what kept going through my head. I can't even begin to describe how sad I am rights now. I always kept my fair Distance from guys...keeping school, climbing (I'm a semi-pro outdoor sport climber) and my community garden as a comfortable pad between getting hurt too bad. But I am smitten with Andy, everything about me and my self protective side I turned off because my heart skips a beat when he's around me. I'm crushed, I'm broken over this. I know things will be better in time but Mein Gott...I'm sick right now.

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u/Direct-Caterpillar77 — 1 day ago

🔥 Hot ▲ 5.7k r/storytimesociety+2 crossposts

AITA for walking out of a dinner after being accused of supporting incest?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Nearby-Comfortable79

AITA for walking out of a dinner after being accused of supporting incest?

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Biphobia!<

Original Post - rareddit Dec 9, 2023

Hey. I'm posting on here because I need people's opinions on this. It's so fucking stupid and such a non-issue, (unless I'm wrong about that too) that turned into something bigger.

For reference, this happened on Thursday evening. We are all in our early 20s and all names are fake.

Thursday was our friend "Sarah's" birthday. To celebrate, our friend group decided to go out for dinner. There were about 10 of us. Everyone was in a good mood and it was really nice to just talk to everybody about whatever for hours, especially since I kind of had a stressful week.

Hours into the dinner, we landed on the topic of movies/TV shows that we were watching. Our friend "Amy" mentioned a show that I had also watched. As soon as she brought it up, I said that I really liked the show, and that the acting, writing and directing was top notch. "Mary" chimed in and said that she really didn't like the show and how she had been watching other things. Cool. To each their own. Mary then asked me how I felt about the main romantic pairing in the show. I responded that I liked it, and thought the romance was cute. This is where the drama started.

For context, I don't want to get too much into it because it might be confusing, but basically, the main romantic pairing is between the male lead and the female lead. There are some people who have interpreted that these characters to be related to each other. I do not. But I know that people are free to think whatever they want, and honestly thought that this topic was harmless. Well, I was wrong.

Mary took offense to me saying that I liked the romance. She asked me if I supported incest. I said of course not, as the characters are not related. She said that they ARE related and that me supporting their pairing is supporting incest. Mary then said that I should "educate" myself before saying "stupid shit". I was dumbfounded and thought she was joking but she was REALLY angry with me about this. She told me to rethink my values because supporting incest makes me a horrible person. I told her she was making harmful accusations over a TV show. Our other friends were telling her to stop, including Sarah, but she kept claiming that I was a disgusting incest supporter. She then claimed I was homophobic, since the male lead is bisexual but still ended up with a woman. Mary just wouldn't stop saying shit like this.

So here is where I may be the asshole. I left Sarah's dinner. My friends were asking me to stay but I felt uncomfortable, so I paid for what I ordered and left. Many of my friends reached out to me on Friday to ask if I was okay. Some of them, while they understood why I was upset, said that it was wrong of me to leave Sarah's birthday dinner and that I should have just ignored what Mary was saying and stuck around. I feel like they may be right and that I may have ruined her birthday by getting up and leaving, but I felt like I couldn't stay because of Mary throwing accusations at me over something that doesn't matter.

VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE

RELEVANT COMMENTS

HauntedReader

> NTA and Mary seems like she takes things FAR too seriously. > > I am super curious what the show is though. Do you mind sharing?

OOP

>>Loki

HauntedReader

> See this doesn't even make sense with her argument. It wouldn't be incest because the two aren't related, they're literally different variants of the exact same person. > > It definitely falls on the weird side of things but definitely doesn't count as incest. > > Also I'm going to assume neither of you finished the series yet so like I'm even more confused by this take.

OOP

>>I finished the series. I don't know about Mary. I know that they don't end up together, but the point is that even in season 2 the implication is still there. But Mary was just upset that they were romantic in the first place.

TOP COMMENTS

mmiggs

> Mary is a clear asshole. There's no question here. And a very stupid asshole, if she thinks that bi people ending up in a relationship with someone of the opposite binary gender is homophobic. (Clue: half of the people that a typical bisexual person is attracted to are of the opposite gender. You might actually expect bi people to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender significantly more often than half the time. If you're a bi man, then your set of possible partners are (for the sake of argument, and there's some simplification of sexuality here) gay men, bi men, bi women, and straight women. The largest of these groupings, by quite a long way, is the group of straight women. > > NTA

PurpleMarsAlien

> NTA > > Mary is acting weird. Attacking someone over fannish beliefs that are not part of current canon is being rather extra and over the top. > > And even if this eventually becomes part of canon, someone who like the couple when it was not canon, were not supporting incest. They would have been misled by the creators.

Update Jan 3, 2024 (Nearly 1 month later)

Hi everyone. First, thank you all for your comments and advice on my last post. It's been about 4 weeks since the incident at the dinner, and I just wanted to give you guys an update if you're curious.

First off, I just want to say that I have no hard feelings toward my friends who said that I should've stayed. I get me leaving was probably the best thing to do in that situation, but their intentions were purely good: to make sure that Sarah enjoyed her birthday dinner.

I reached out to Sarah and apologized for what happened, and for me leaving so abruptly. She said that I didn't need to apologize and said that all was good between us. I took her out for drinks. We had a great time.

Now, onto Mary. Since the dinner, I have been texting and calling her, just to talk about what happened. So far, she has either ignored my texts and calls, or given me very short responses, either telling me that she doesn't want to talk to me, or that she's busy. Sarah told me that she also reached out to Mary, and while she was actually willing to talk to Sarah, the conversation pretty much went nowhere. Amy also reached out to her. Like many of you were wondering, she asked her if she was a victim of incest. I mean, It would make sense based on her reaction. However, according to Mary herself, no, she wasn't. As far as I know, she isn't bisexual either, so it just seems she's throwing a tantrum over things that have nothing to do with her. Or it's possible that she's been spending too much time in online fandoms, but who knows.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

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u/Direct-Caterpillar77 — 1 day ago

▲ 2.0k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

I think my wife's best friend is developing feelings for me and my wife doesn't want to believe me because it's her best friend.

I am NOT OP. The OP of this story is u/Same_Poet8990.

Trigger Warnings: >!Sexual Harassment.!<

I think my wife's best friend is developing feelings for me and my wife doesn't want to believe me because it's her best friend., Posted July 7th, 2025.

https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/s/0UVhqjerKf

Update above

Okay, yes I'm aware I'm going to sound arrogant and like a narcissist, get over it. My wife and I have known each other in total 20ish years, we have dated for 9, married for 5. She has known her best friend (D) since end of high-school/early college. They are like sisters.

D has horrible luck with guys, abusive relationships, toxic relationships, she's had it all and some. I know this because she vents about it to my wife and me all the time. Recently she just got through a particular rough relationship, which she decided she was no longer going to date and just be single for a while. She began making comments to my wife about how lucky she is that she has me and it must make her feel so good to have a supporting , caring, loving man in her life too take care of her. This is when her changed behavior began.

She has been very clingy to me (she never was before) when she comes over (head on my shoulder, sitting on my lap) she tells me all the time that i make her feel safe and comfortable, she always asks how my day is going and if I'm happy to see her, or how i think her body looks in her outfit, (which she kinda did before but now she draws attention to her feminine area's.) a joke was made (by my wife) about D being my second wife to do all the stuff my wife doesn't feel like doing. D jumped onto this and now refers too often enough as" second wife", my wife thinks it's funny and it was until D sent me a picture of a ring she wanted "because even your second wife needs a ring".

I have brought all this up to my wife because I don't want to keep her in the dark about anything. And she just says things like "ehh that's just her" or "she doesn't mean anything by it". My fear is that D is getting what she's never gotten from any of her past relationships (comfort? validation? Safety? ) and that she will become attached to this sort of fantasy. I don't want my wife too think I'm doing anything behind her back. But as I have stated she just brushes it all off.

Am I just being too "observant" or is there something there my wife isn't seeing? Thought's?

THERE IS AN UPDATE TO THIS! https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/s/0UVhqjerKf

UPDATE!! This is an update to:"my wife's best friend is developing feelings for me and my wife's doesn't believe me"., Posted July 9th, 2025.

https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/s/p21ztLW4wU - The Final Update

First Id like to apologize for my post being removed from r/advice, I was never given a reason for it's removal. Second, Thank you for everyone's input/advice on my situation. On that note there are some questions I keep seeing so I will answer some below:

Sitting in my lap: This has only happened twice. Both instances were at parties where there was no seating left where I was sitting, I actually offered her my seat which she said thanks and sat on my lap. Yes both times were in front of my wife and she thought it was funny so rather then make a scene by kicking her off I waiting till an opportunity came (needed more food/drink, bathroom ect.)

Is she hot/am I attracted to her?: By society standards she would be very attractive, by society standards my wife would not be as attractive. THAT BEING SAID , my wife is exactly what I want in a women (just speaking physically atm) my wife is short, very pale skin, long curly brown hair, and not skinny because of the children we have had together. I love my wife the way she is and we are working together to help her loose the babyfat she wants to lose. D on the other hand is taller then me I'm 5'10, tan skin, straight dirty blonde hair, and skinny. Again attractive, just not what I'm into.

Okay now for the update: Talked to my wife about everything going on and my concerns about it, using some points people brought up in commants. Turns out my wife IS aware of the situation and is actually partially behind it. Apparently she brought up the idea of "using me" to show her best friend what to look for in a guy was a good idea, but has gone a little farther then she thought it would. Forgive her she had good intentions. So we are both going to sit down with D and talk about everything next time she comes over.

FINAL UPDATE! This is the final update to "I think my wife's friend is developing feelings for me", Posted July 11th, 2025.

Firstly, thank you everyone for your good advice.
This will be the last update to this crazy series of events. Now let's get to what your all waiting for the update.

D came over, we all sat down at the table, the kids are at their aunts for the night. I stated that I wanted everything to come out, all the cards on the table. I want to know everything. So this is what went down:

D has always had awful luck with men. She vents to me and my wife about it all the time. During a conversation when I wasn't present D had said something along the lines of "wishing she could find a man like yours, because she will never know what it feels like to be genuinely wanted and appreciated.

My wife made a bad decision and in trying to comfort her friend suggested treating me more like a bf then just a good friend, nothing physical just the support and comfort and validation for a little to get an idea of what to look for in a man. D said she was fine with that but when she started to get it from me she wanted more and more and started to cross boundaries to get it (the lapsitting , that kinda stuff) , I asked my wife about it and she said it caught her by surprise but didn't exactly make her uncomfortable with her friend, it was actually the mentioning of D wanting a ring that she finally started to see that this was getting out of control. Wife said she realized she messed up but didn't want to say anything to me about it.

I explained to both of them very thoroughly about how ridiculous this entire thing is, how there are better ways we all could have helped, how this could have destroyed friendships and marriages. They should have come to me and we all could have figured out ways to help each other together.

There were apologies from both parties. D is still our friend and she will be comming over in a few days for us to dicuss how she can potentially work on herself and things to look for in men she has an interest in dating. My wife is very sorry to D and me about the entire thing.

So in the end, my wife made a mistake that she is remorseful for, learned from and will come out better for it. D will have help working on herself, and working towards a healthier future. And then there's me....Tired and I want a beer lol.

Thank you again everyone for your good words and advises. I'm sorry if this isn't the outcome you hoped/thought/predicted but life is unpredictable and I'm glad this is over.

Oh and there will be no threesome🤣

Reminder - I am not OP.

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u/Low-Topic8580 — 1 day ago

▲ 2.6k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

My [35F] wife and I [36M] have hit an awkward stage because we can’t move past a situation that happened when we last had sex.

The other week my wife dressed up in lingerie and surprised me when I got home from work. I hit the door and she said wash your dick and come get me, which I did.

When we started I was excited and was being aggressive and she asked me to slow down and I was doing too much. I slowed down and was kissing all over her and she asked me to stop because she had just showered and said use her vibrator and finger her at the same time (she doesn’t do oral). Unfortunately, the vibrator died so we then spent 5-10 minutes trying to find the charger and another vibrator, also dead. After this happened we got back on the bed and when I went to start kissing her while moving my hand down her thigh she moved her face to the side and covered her vgina with her hands said “I don’t want all this anymore, just get it done with your dick” but I had lost my erection. She grabbed my dick and said “why’s it so soft what did you do?” And I said “the vibe kinda went dead” and she said well what do I need to do and I asked her to kiss my neck while rubbing it and she said she didn’t want to because it awkward with how soft it was. I got up and just said Im not sure what else to do at this point because her just pumping it like she wasn’t doing anything for me.

Long story short it ended there and afterwards she asked to talk about it. I explained I felt like everything she said was a complaint or something she wasn’t going to do since she was clearly frustrated but I don’t want her to feel like I’m blaming her just it was unfortunate the vibrator was dead and from there the whole vibe went dead. She said that was my perspective and I should’ve just fucked her at the start when I was hard rather than trying to do any extra stuff and then I said “you told me to slow down and that you could feel my dick pulsating and it was weird”. She shut down after that and kept saying thats just your perspective so you’d feel better because you couldn’t get your dick hard.

Since this happened we haven’t really spoke much and haven’t had sex again. Not really sure how to move forward. I feel like she got frustrated and just completely pushed me away during that time and it turned me off and she stated Im not doing XYZ that would turn me on. The pressure of just laying there awkwardly trying to get hard also didn’t help.

Any advice on how to approach this differently?

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u/Low-Topic8580 — 1 day ago

▲ 4.9k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

[21F] Just found out I have no clit

Im out of words right now. I am feeling so much emotions at once that I feel so numb right now. I just found out I have no clitoris and I almost 22…

The reason why I found out so late cause I been to all girls private school my whole life, they didn’t teach us about sex education.

Last month, I was very suicidal. I wanted to kill myself but I didn’t want to die as a virgin. So I educated myself on sex so I can lose my virginity before I kill myself. Because in Islam, if you kill yourself then you won’t go to heaven so that’s why I wasn’t scared to not keep my Chasity since I’m going to hell anyways. (No worries I have no intention to kill myself now)

During the sex research, I seen article of the benefits of masturbation for woman. I was on my period so of course I didn’t try. I told myself I will do it when my cycle is over but then I forget all about it.

Fast forward to last night, I was bored and curious. I wanted to do masturbation for the first time, I put one finger but I felt nothing. It was just painful and numb. I was so confused because two fingers wouldn’t fit but one finger does nothing? So I watched a tutorial, I noticed I didn’t have a clit. Then it clicked in my head that I have gotten FGM. I was born in Somalia but I don’t remember anything from Somalia cause I moved to Kenya when I was only 6 months. I have type 1 FGM so it made sense why I didn’t feel that much pain compared to the other survivors of FGM. I assume cause I was only a baby, they only did type 1. I think if I stayed for Somalia any longer they would have done the types on me as I grew.

I am not crying, I just feel numb. I have some resentment to my mom for allowing this. I resent my community. I hate this horrible custom that is justified by religion. For those who don’t know, FGM is done so sex is painful for woman making them less likely to have sex before marriage. To cage women. It makes me want me to lose my virginity more just to rebel. I want to leave my religion. I hate how cause I was born a woman, I get treated like a object and not a human.

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u/Easy_Affect_223 — 1 day ago

▲ 3.9k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

My friend/bridesmaid [28F] dropped out of the wedding/ended our friendship sent me [25F] a text months later... I'm not sure how to/if I should respond

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/meowmeowkittykat21

My friend/bridesmaid [28F] dropped out of the wedding/ended our friendship sent me [25F] a text months later... I'm not sure how to/if I should respond.

Original Post July 13, 2017

Diane and I had been friends for 5 years and I thought of her to be one of my closest friends. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding last year and she was supposed to be one in mine this year.

Things seemed normal. We work at the same company and had lunch most days, she went dress shopping with me and got her BM dress for the wedding, we got our nails done together regularly, her husband was super excited for our wedding, etc. Nothing really felt out of the ordinary to me.

Then in Feb, she told me she couldn't be a BM anymore. I initially thought it was a time/money thing but then she said it was bc she didn't feel like our friendship was in a good place and that our lives were going in different directions and there was too much rivalry between us. I honestly didn't know what she was talking about. I asked her what this meant then... Were we still friends? Was she coming to the wedding as a guest?

She said she didn't know but still wanted to have lunch once in a while. I told her I couldn't do that. It felt too much like trying to stay friends with an ex. If she felt so strongly about us then I'd rather not have a half assed friend like that.

So I deleted her number, threw out the trinkets from her wedding and such. It honestly felt like a romantic break up haha. But I got over it.

Today out of nowhere she texted me a screenshot of Facebook of a pic of my cat with a toy she bought her (hence she was tagged) 4 yrs ago. It was one of those Facebook "remember this?" things and this text:

"I know you still don't want anything to do with me and that's cool but this came up on my Facebook news feed and I thought I would send it along. I almost forgot how little she was when you first got her. And happy anniversary with her because I know that was last week."

I feel like she makes it sound like I ended our friendship for no apparent reason. I'm not sure how to feel about this and just haven't replied. I probably won't, but I was just feel confused and maybe just needed to vent. What do you thing?

tl:dr: friend cut off friendship randomly and then randomly texted me again as if I was the one to cut her off. Unsure how to feel.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

katkolos

>Dont get sucked back in

OOP

>>I don't plan on it. I summerized it here but there was a whole week of her going back and forth on being a bridesmaid and being friends. I had to pull teeth to even get the "explanation" that it did. It was such a terrible experience that I'm never going back to it.

LuvBamboo

> It appears that the rationale your ex-friend gave for ending the friendship didn't make sense to you, and her behavior then and now is really bizarre. > > You have every right not to respond. While it's purely speculation, it sounds like your ex-friend might not be all there.

OOP

>>I've talked to a few people about it (a friend, my fiance, and my hair dresser) and they basically said the same thing. I think it's best just to ignore the text.

Update - rareddit July 21, 2017 (8 days later)

Hello there! It's been a week and I have some updates, so I figure I'd close the loop for anyone that was interested. First of all though, I'd like to thank everyone who commented and helped talk so sense into me. It really was a wake up call since these past few months, I just thought I did something wrong or it was a mystery, but as most people concluded for me, Diane was having issues of her own and took it out on me.

So, shocker, I didn't text her back. I just ignored it.

I did get some insight today though so keep reading if you're curious about that. So Diane and I have (I guess I should say had) one mutual friend left. Her name is Cindy (30F).

So a little background, Diane and I used to work in the same department when we started working at this company years ago and became friends. Diane would eventually leave the dept because she said she wanted to grow, but constantly still tried to butt in and tell me what to do. Last year, Cindy joined that department as I was leaving so the 3 of us became friends. Cindy is still in that old dept now.

So since the whole ending of our friendship in Feb, I've told Cindy I'm totally cool with her being friends with Diane and also stayed totally neutral whenever Diane came up, but today Cindy exploded to me over lunch about Diane and it all came out.

Apparently Diane has been feeling very insecure about her life vs mine and has been going for promotion after promotion whenever a job opened at the company and has been rejected every time so when I got mine, it was too much for her. She's also apparently been really upset about her weight (shes a size 16) and when I started losing weight for my wedding (I was a size 6 when I got engaged and am now a size 2), she was also upset. She's also upset that I bought a bigger house and a new car (paid in full) this year.

So why did Cindy tell me all this? Apparently Diane has been butting into Cindy's work also and also criticizing everything Cindy does (her diet, her dating life, her dog) and Cindy finally had enough and cut Diane out and wanted to vent this all to me since she knew Diane and I also stopped being friends.

tl;dr: So long story short? Diane is toxic and insecure and Cindy and I are happier without her. Happy ending after all?

FINAL COMMENTS

poopnado2

>Oh man. I hope Diane gets some help. I feel bad for her, but of course there are way better ways to react to your life going poorly than lashing out at your friends. She should be happy for you, or maybe even ask you for advice about her career or dieting or whatever. It must be hard to see your friends succeeding while you stagnate, but she ought to be looking inward, rather than comparing herself to everyone around her.

BelindaTheGreat

>>I've never pulled a Diane on anyone, but truth be told, I've thought about it. OP is not only more successful than her, but wildly so from how she describes it here.

OOP

>>>I think it is okay to cut someone out of your life if you feel you are unhealthily comparing yourself to them or just unhappy with them, but it would have been nice if Diane just told me this instead of making me feel like I did something wrong and left me with no closure for months.

not_homestuck

> I bet she knew it was wrong though. I mean, since telling you would've had no benefit (what would you have done? Quit your job/gain back the weight?), if she really couldn't get over the feelings she probably figured it was better to just part ways rather than guilt-trip you. > > That's a bummer though :(

OOP

>>I think I would have just appreciated something like, "I need to work on myself for a while." or anything like that..? All I got was a I don't know what's wrong and it's not that I don't like you but also I don't want to be friends but I kinda want to have lunch sometimes...

When OOP was asked is she is the competitive one and doesn't realize it when telling her friend about her accomplishments

> I stated all these facts because I am explaining a situation to strangers on the internet so I'm trying to be as descriptive as possible, but I obviously never mentioned this to her in that way ("you're a size 16 and I'm a size 2"). > > I obviously did tell her about these things that were happening because she was my close friend. You tell your friends when you get a new job or get a house. I never said, "Hey Diane, I got a house that's bigger than yours", but in this post I had to describe it to you strangers what the situation is bc to Diane and I, we both already know the sizes of our houses if that makes sense? So things sound more comparative on here than they were in our real life relationship. > > In real life it was more like "Omg! FH and I are about to close on a house :D"

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

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u/Direct-Caterpillar77 — 1 day ago

▲ 644 r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

Me [32F] with my husband [36 M] 5 years. Found upskirt shots of mutual friend on his phone.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/100percentjuices

Published on: r/relationships

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

Main Post: September 29, 2015
Final Update: October 01, 2015

Main Post

^(September 29, 2015)

Me [32F] with my husband [36 M] 5 years. Found upskirt shots of mutual friend on his phone.

I have been married for about 4 months and but with him for 5 years. We (seemingly) have a great relationship - we communicate, we have our own hobbies, shared hobbies, had a wonderful wedding, have fun together etc.. we don't often fight and when we do we forgive and move on.

Since I have known him, he's always been more vocal about women's rights than I have been. He thinks guys who use women are terrible, has shunned friends for such behavior, has many friends who are activists, work for sexual health clinics etc.. he even feels things like spanking in the bedroom are rooted in violence against women.

So on the weekend I grabbed his phone and went to his pictures to send myself one of me and our niece he took earlier in the day. I'm scrolling through, smiling at pics from the wedding, from vacations over the summer etc.. I keep scrolling and suddenly there are pics of a friend of ours and her daughter sitting on another friends couch. First pic - her and her daughter. Second pic, zoomed in to her waist, third and fourth pics - zoomed to her crotch, her dress pulled tight against her thighs and her undies showing.

WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK DO I DO WITH THIS. My initial urge was to freak out and call him a disgusting piece of shit. But I haven't said anything yet. I think it's disgusting, violating, vile, ugh. I'm really alarmed that he would not only do such a thing, but leave them on his phone. I can't imagine if he found out someone did that to me that he would be ok with it.

Do I just go delete them? Do I tell the friend? Do I confront my husband? Do I hope it was just something stupid and immature and ridiculous?

tl;dr: Husband took upskirt pics of a friend and i found them on his phone.

EDIT: I am reading every comment, just too much to respond to everyone.

COMMENTS

Exner2 > Just to clarify, was it the same picture three times (zoomed in and cropped after the fact) or was it three separate pictures? I ask because for me, the first scenario would be creepy but forgivable. While going through pics he may have realized that he could see your friend's underwear and then, in an immature teenage throwback moment, zoomed in to confirm. But if he TOOK three separate pictures, increasingly focused on your friend's underwear, that's a whole other thing altogether. > > OOP >> I can't tell if it is one pic that he did crop and they saved or ones where he zoomed but it definitely zooms in.

Thornnuminous > Screenshot and send them to yourself so he can't delete the proof and gaslight you. > > Then sit him down, tell him what you found. > > "[husband's name] I found upskirt shots of [friend's name] on your phone. Explain. Right now. And you had better tell the 100% Truth." > > OOP >> Yeah I think this is likely the route I will take. I'll save the freaking out for after whatever pathetic explanation he has.

BullshitPoster > If there is no completely unimaginable perfectly legitimate excuse when you confront him, see a Lawyer and get an Annulment. > > How could you possibly stay with someone who would violate another person like this, let alone do so while MARRIED to you, let alone do so while she has HER KID ON HER LAP. What a disgusting creep! What a pervert! What a shitty friend, husband, human being! > > Also make sure you keep proof and show the poor woman in question > > OOP >> Her child wasn't on her lap or in the creepy photos, thank god.

hugged_at_gunpoint > Do not freak out. DO confront him calmly about this. Do not tell the friend unless you value your relationship with the friend more than your relationship with your husband. DO hope that it was just something stupid, immature and ridiculous. So far its just one picture and that should not be enough to shatter your faith in your spouse of 5 years. > > OOP >> I definitely wont be "lawyering up and divorcing" like so many people are fond of suggesting (bring on the downvotes). If I had never found out about the photo I would have only good things to say about him and our life. I am willing to figure it out but I just needed to get ito ut of my head before I spewed it at him. I'm still in shock honestly.

supernaturalradio > >work for sexual health clinics etc.. > > Regardless of how this incident impacts your relationship/marriage, consider giving the clinics your husband works for a heads up. Unless there is an explanation (which there very well might be), it's sick to think vulnerable women could be hurt by this opportune monster. > > OOP >> Sorry I wasn't clear enough, he does not work at a clinic, he has a friend who runs one. He is not in a power position over any vulnerable women.

Final Update - after 2 days

^(October 01, 2015)

[UPDATE] Me [32F] with my husband [36 M] 5 years. Found upskirt shots of mutual friend on his phone

I went through husbands computer, nothing out of the ordinary - history intact, reddit open - nothing creepy, nothing worrisome.

So last night my husband got home, we made dinner together then just sat on the couch chatting while waiting for it. I asked if I could show him something on his phone and he said sure. I opened it up and scrolled to the picture and said “what is this?” At first he didn’t even seem to understand what the picture was of. I said “Why do you have upskirts of mutualfriend?”

He didn’t freak out or fly off the handle but he seemed genuinely confused as to what I was showing him. I scrolled through the photos before, and the photos after and he said “100percentjuices! Look at the next picture!” I looked at the very next picture after the zoomed in crotch shots and mutualfriend is holding our friends newborn - the rest of the pics after that are zoomed in and of the baby.

I didn’t even really look at those once when I saw the ones that disturbed me. He said “do you really think I’d do something like that to mutualfriend? Or to you?” We talked about it for about 20 mins - why I felt concerned, why I needed to ask and he didn’t once get defensive, cranky etc.. He reiterated that I have full access to his devices when needed and that I can always come to him with concerns but that I shouldn’t wait 5 days to do it.

tl;dr: We talked it out. All is well.

COMMENTS

czhunc (downvoted) > Not to rain on the parade, but do you completely buy his explanation? Taking an upskirt picture completely by accident is one of those things that's just on the edge of believability. The angle is pretty difficult to achieve, for one. > > Of course, if you have full access to his electronics and everything else checks out, giving him the benefit of the doubt does seem fair. > > Edit. My bad. It's not like anyone would ever lie about having creepy pictures on their phone. > > OOP >> She was sitting and wearing a short dress, he was standing. It isn't like a between the legs while she was standing shot.

Assholewastaken > I'll just wait here and see if all the users that said in the previous post that there could be no other possibility other than having a predator on your hands recant their statements and actually acknowledge they learned something.. > > Tic-toc > > OOP >> The worst comments that I read were talking about mutualfriends daughter, she was never the issue and it was ugh to read.

MrBleah > Good thing you investigated a bit before instigating the divorce that likely 90% of the people in the first thread advised. > > "Close the accounts! Change the locks! Hire a lawyer! Buy a gun! Store canned food!" > > OOP >> I figure everyone who says to get divorced actually hasn't had a long term relationship.

AwesomeNameGenerator > And going back and reading the comments on your OP is a great reminder that /r/relationships advice should always be taken with a huge grain of salt. > > OP jumped the gun and rather than giving her husband the benefit of the doubt wanted to call him all sorts of abusive names and assume the worst about him. > > OOP >> My first reaction was to freak out, but I didn't so I think I handled it well. I hardly jumped the gun when it came to talking to him. >> >> FlyingBasset (downvoted) >>> But how did you completely miss a conclusion so obvious he was able to disprove your theory in 5 seconds? You came on reddit ready to rip your husband's head off. You wasted people's time and got your husband bashed hardcore by not getting all the information you could have. >>> >>> OOP >>>> No, I came to reddit because I didn't know how to approach it and I was freaking out. I got some good advice in PMs from normalpeople who have regular relationships and it was very helpful. Those who comment choose to give their time to do so, I wasted nothing.

aegwynn > In the last post, you said she didn't have a child in her lap. So I'm confused how you missed the glaring presence of a newborn. > > OOP >> The photos afterwards. After seeing 2 upskirt shots I went "Back" from the full images and started scanning the entire gallery view.

futurehennahead > ...why was this newborn not mentioned at all in the original post?! Isn't that an important detail? > > This makes me feel like its a fake story. > > OOP >> The newborn was in the shots afterwards, not the ones leading up to the picture that made me freak out.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

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u/BigONerd — 1 day ago

▲ 2.1k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

Coworker is falsely accusing me of having an affair with her husband...what should I do?

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/AngryWifeThrowaway

Published on: r/relationships

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

Main Post: October 20, 2015
Final Update: October 22, 2015

Main Post

^(October 20, 2015)

Coworker is falsely accusing me of having an affair with her husband...what should I do?

Ok, so first a little backstory...I (27F) have been working at a small restaurant for the past 4 years. I supervise a small 6 person crew, and we all get along very well. Since my first day, my dishwasher "Jim" (65M) and I clicked the most. He's retired army, and has the same crazy sense of humor as me. On our breaks, we like to share stories and jokes (sometimes inappropriate ones). However, this is always only between the two of us, never in front of other staff or customers. I see him as a good friend and coworker, nothing more.

Everything has been going fine and dandy until a couple days ago when his wife (60ish) confronted me out of the blue. She's our receptionist, and has been working there for about 7 years.
She seemed quite angry and shaken and told me that she's seen how I look at her husband, and it makes her uncomfortable. I apologized, obviously, I never meant to make her feel that way. I hoped that would diffuse the situation, but she got even angrier, and told me that she knew we were having some kind of relationship behind her back. I had no idea what to say, I was just floored. She started to ramble, saying that I shouldn't be looking up to him as a father figure, just because my father most likely abandoned me, (which he didn't) and that i'm abusing my position as his supervisor to make him do whatever I want, and to keep him quiet about it. She warned me that if this behavior continued, that she would report me for sexual harassment.

I spoke to Jim about this, and we both tried (separately and together) to convince her that she was wrong, but she was still very upset and didn't want to talk about it. She told us we can deny it till we turn blue, but she doesn't believe us. I don't know what to do. I feel like I should go talk to HR, but should I just wait for it to all blow over? There's obviously something going on between the two of them that I don't know about, but from everything I've seen, it looks like they have a good marriage. Jim and I agreed to take breaks at different times, and keep our interactions professional for the time being. I'm really worried what she might do, and a lawsuit would ruin my career. Help Reddit!

TL/DR- Coworker is threatening to report me for sexual harassment...I never slept with her husband...

COMMENTS

Imsolost123456789 > Take it to HR. Say that she is accusing you of things and creating a hostile work environment- because she is. > > fluorowhore >> A small restaurant is unlikely to have an HR department. Talk to the owner. >> >> OOP >>> We're part of a larger corporation that has an HR department, though I've never really dealt with them.

OOP > Wow, thank you guys for your advice. It all pretty much confirmed what I think my next steps will be. Our HR department is pretty quick to judge, so I think I'll have to be very cautious of what I say when I bring this to them. I do want to nip it in the bud before it blows up into something bigger. Going to start drafting an email to them tonight, and I'll post an update if I hear anything back. :)

alanaa92 > No one has mentioned this but I would immediately cool your interactions with Jim to strictly professional matters. It sucks, but your job is on the line. > > Do that first and see if it pacifies his wife before you visit human resources. > > WHUFC118 >> It also sucks if your husband is going off for private jokey/flirty sessions with his female boss when they're both supposed to be working, wouldn't you say? >> >> OOP >>> It's not like that at all. We've never flirted with each other, and we typically eat lunch around the same time, so it's nice to have someone to sit with and share a laugh or two. I guess I can see how his wife could have misconstrued this, but if there had been anything blatantly inappropriate going on, I feel like other people would have noticed.

1fuathyro > You exchanging 'sexy' stories with your employee is poor judgement on your part. YOU are the manager. You are not your employee's friends, or did you miss the memo about that. > > It cracks me up how many boundaries managers cross. When you are the boss you really have to watch yourself. I'm not saying that you can't be cordial and that there aren't 'friendly' things you can do (like attend a wedding, a shower etc.) but what you did was inappropriate. > > Also, a little tidbit about men. You give them attention and they think you are interested. My husband goes on and on about how women at work want him all day-all because they give him attention. It pisses me off because I only get his side of the story. I'm sure his wife doesn't appreciate all the attention you are showing HER husband and perhaps he eggs her on with his stories about your little 'times' together. > > I can see you being fired for this, actually. You better hope the company finds you valuable. Live and learn. > > OOP >> Did you even read my post at all? We've never flirted, and definitely never shared "sexy stories". Our jokes mainly consist of puns and one liners that are 99% of the time stupid and juvenile. I'm appalled that people jump to these conclusions. And just so you're aware, our "secret, sexy" meetings involve us sitting at the same table for lunch. Most of the time we don't even talk. So if you have nothing constructive to say, keep your judgments to yourself.

Final Update - after 2 days

^(October 22, 2015)

Update: Coworker is falsely accusing me of having an affair with her husband.

Me (27F) Jim (65M) Karen(60F) (forgive me for any formatting issues, i'm not tech savvy)

Ok, so A LOT has happened in the past few hours that has pretty much cleared everything up, but it's a doozy of a story. So I decided to call HR, and tell them what happened. I was calm and objective, stating only the facts and what Karen (Jim's wife) accused me of. My HR rep said that they appreciated my honesty, and while my actions weren't wise or appropriate for the workplace, it wasn't necessarily considered harassment. Karen never said that she overheard any of our conversations, just that the way I looked at him and sat with him at lunch made her uncomfortable. If she did contact them, they would look into it, but otherwise, just try to keep my interactions at work professional from now on. Fair enough.

After Karen confronted me the other day, she hasn't shown up for work the past 2 days. I asked Jim what happened, and he confided in me that they had a huge fight. Karen has been on psych meds for the past few years, and without his knowledge, she's taken herself off of them. (I didn't ask what they were for, it's not my business.) Things at home had been getting tense, so for the past month or so, he's been going to the bar after work with his old Army buddies. That's probably why she was getting suspicious that we were meeting behind her back. He told her that I spoke to HR, and she flipped out. She called them screaming, and said that I was lying, and for the past 2 years I've been soliciting her for sexual favors, and making unwanted advances towards her. (This is of course 100% bullshit).

It took a little while, but he eventually calmed her down, and convinced her to call HR back and tell the truth. She recanted everything she said, and asked them not to punish me for her misjudgment. Her paranoia and anxiety are getting worse, and even her children are getting concerned. After talking to Jim, I got a call from HR this morning telling me that her report was unjustified, and no further actions would be taken. I was also told by my manager that Karen is taking some time off "for her health". Jim says that they're reevaluating whether working is a good idea for her right now.

For those of you who urged me to talk to HR, THANK YOU!! I'm glad I said something before she had a chance to spin another web of lies that could have been much much worse. At the same time, I feel terrible for her. She's usually such a sweet person, and I'm glad she's taking the time she needs to get things back in order. Crisis averted!

TL/DR- Coworker had a psychotic break. Still didn't sleep with her husband.

COMMENTS

ForeverChasingEchos > I said in your other post it sounded more like a break down or mental illness. I really hope the lady gets the help she needs. She sounds like she should be in a hospital until they can fix her medication to get her stable > > OOP >> Yeah, that's what I was sort of assuming. It was like talking to a completely different person, her personality made a complete 180.

Hisbaby4 > I think I'm the future you need to not be Jim's sounding board. > Be professional but leave personal things out. > > eightiesladies >> Right!? They told her to be professional and she said "no problem," Then went right to him and asked about her. >> >> OOP >>> To be fair, he came to me with that info. I just asked him if she was ok. He thought I deserved an explanation, and I appreciated it. I didn't badger him for gossip.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

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u/BigONerd — 1 day ago

▲ 2.2k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

Ex-Best friend married my ex last weekend

My ex and I broke up a little over 2 years ago. It was a pretty clean break, with a mutual understanding that we wouldn't be seeing or speaking to each other again. And I was content with that. We went our separate ways and life was good.

5 months later I get a text from her late at night. The first time we'd spoken since we broke up. She's dating my best friend.

For context, my best friend and I had been very close since we met in college. By then going on 8 years by the time this bombshell drops. We went to school together, we were teammates on the same competitive team together, we gamed nightly, hung out all the time, and had been there for each other. I loved him like a brother. He had gotten out of an 8 year relationship/fiance arrangement several months prior and went right for my ex when she was available.

To say I felt betrayed would have been an understatement. Heartbroken could also fit. About two weeks after, when our schedules aligned, I invited him to breakfast to chat. I made it clear that as long as they were together, we could not be friends. And he agreed. We both extended each other an olive branch should the other change their choices, and we went our separate ways. Short of a brief mutual friends wedding reception where barely 6 course words were exchanged, we haven't seen each other since.

My entire friend group has fallen apart over this. It's an unspoken topic, but it's understood by all that if one of us is around, the other is not spoken of or brought around. Gone are our nights of 8 dudes just hanging out. Now we might be lucky to get 4 around.

Fast forward, they eloped last weekend. They got engaged a few months back. And it's an odd feeling. On one hand I don't care. But on the other I wonder what could have been had she truly left or if he'd not gone for her. I for one am doing just fine in life. But it still tugs at the heart strings every so often. As I eat this salad tonight, I kinda hope it rained.

u/Flavor_Nukes — 1 day ago

▲ 1.3k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

My [30/F] husband [33/M] wants to try Polyamory with one specific woman. How do I talk to him about it?

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/Fantastic_Sorbet9395

Published on: r/relationship_advice

Story is: ONGOING

Story timeline

Main Post: June 30, 2026
Update: July 02, 2026

Main Post

^(June 30, 2026)

My [30/F] husband [33/M] wants to try Polyamory with one specific woman. How do I talk to him about it?

We’ve been married for 7 years. Mostly good marriage until the last year.

My husband got promoted at work and started bringing up this one coworker [26/F] a lot.

The first time I hung out with them all outside of work, alarm bells started ringing. My husband spent the whole night entertaining her while I felt like the third wheel.

I asked husband to distance himself from coworker and he said he would implement some boundaries.

Months pass. I stop hearing about coworker. I think everything is good.

Then last week husband sat me down and said he wanted to try polyamory. He didn’t want to talk about who at first, but eventually he admitted he wanted to take coworker out on a date.

I told him I am monogamous. Our relationship has always been monogamous. I have no interest in being poly.

He asked me why I didn’t like her.

The conversation ended when I said he couldn’t have a wife and a girlfriend but he’s been mopping around and crying on and off since.

I want to save my marriage but it’s not in my control. It’s up to my husband and what he wants to do next.

Nothing physical has happened yet. He hasn’t even told her about his crush yet. He said he wanted to ask me first.

I think I could forgive him for this if things change, but I don’t know what’s reasonable to ask him for. What are reasonable stipulations? Couples counseling for sure, but what else?

Tl;dr: My husband picked out the woman he wants to cheat on me with and asked me for permission. Now what?

COMMENTS

justcozitscool > It’s not up to him, it’s up to you. You aren’t powerless here. If he’s going to act like that because he wants a gf and wants you to be ok with it. You leave. It will hurt and suck for ages but you WILL get over it. And find someone that wants you and only you. > > OOP >> I want to believe. It just feels so far away

MiloTheMagnificent > He’s already cheating on you. They have definitely been physical. Something has happened with her to make him attempt this “soft launch” of the affair, like she’s told him she’s pregnant or she’s given him an ultimatum because she doesn’t want to be the secret side piece anymore or people who know you have already seen them together and he’s trying to get ahead of it. Find yourself a lawyer and start focusing on protecting yourself through the upcoming divorce. He’s seeking forgiveness by framing it as permission there’s nothing here to save. > > OOP >> I’m so scared you’re right. This felt like it had to come from somewhere

Southern-Midnight741 > The fact that he is asking for a threesome means he has discussed this with the other women. They are at the point where discussing or fantasy about sex with her has been occurring > > OOP >> He isn’t asking for a threesome. He wants me to be his wife and separately he wants her to be his girlfriend

hiKlementine > Married for 7 years but 3 years ago you were a lesbian based on your post history? > > OOP >> This is my friend’s throw away account. She lent me her login

Sinusaur > > My husband spent the whole night entertaining her while I felt like the third wheel. > > The Audacity of some dudes. All of their coworkers can see this. > > OOP >> Another coworker asked if he was poly… he says that’s what put the idea in his head >> >> Shironaku >>> Why would a coworker ask that? Unless they've already witnessed something weird (I assume they know he's married) >>> >>> OOP >>>> That’s what I’m afraid of but I didn’t want to accuse him of “asking for it”

doeskyleevershower > I love how all the answers are like high-school kids saying "leave" lol yeah a 7 year marriage that they built a life around and built a life on dual incomes and tied their names to everything. I would dig deeper into your husband's needs of why he feels like this. Not one comment I've seen has mentioned looking into why he is feeling the need to sleep around. How often are you guys making love? Not just sex but actual romantic love? How often do you initiate it? > > OOP >> 3-4 times a week. I really think the change is he got the promotion at work and his confidence improved. He started going out with coworkers and changing up his style

Update - after 2 days

^(July 02, 2026)

Update: My [30/F] husband [33/M] wants to try Polyamory with one specific woman. How do I talk to him about it?

I don’t know how to link my original post, but to summarize, my husband of 7 years wants my permission to start a relationship with his coworker. We have always been monogamous and I told him no. I came here looking for advice on how to save my marriage.

Update

I talked to our two best friends (a married couple who have been like family to my husband and I for many years) about what’s been going on.

To say they were upset on my behalf is an understatement. While I was telling them what happened, one of them started writing down her thoughts.

Once we finished talking, she had me call my husband over and she basically talked/yelled at him for being an idiot while we went through each of her bullet points basically calling out everything you all said. Starting with “Coercion isn’t a valid entrance to Polyamory,” and ending with “What are YOU going to do to fix this.“

But the most damning accusation was “You don’t want to try polyamory, you just want to fuck your coworker”

I’ve never seen someone so upset on my behalf.

My husband didn’t say much and when he did, our friend clapped back with a comment that I could tell really affected him. His whole mood changed after that.

Then I said my piece. I told him that while I may not raise my voice the way our friend had, that I felt betrayed by him. I reiterated all the points made and told him divorce was something I was seriously considering. By the time I finished, he was crying again.

Then I sent him home to think about his actions while I stayed with our friends.

I’m sure I’ll get flack for having our friends help me talk to him but I honestly felt better having their support. It made it so he couldn’t twist the situation to get me back on his side.

And it seemed to knock some sense into him because when I came home later that night, he was crying on the phone with his mom telling her about how badly he fucked up and how scared he was that I was going to leave him.

We talked again and he really seemed to grasp the severity of the situation. He scheduled us a couples therapy session and assured me I was his top priority. He said during his next shift he would talk to his coworker and tell her that if she thought anything was going on between them, it was over now and they would be strictly platonic moving forward.

Well, he came home from work last night and he hadn’t had the talk with her. Instead he doubled down on being “poly.”

He insists nothing has happened yet but that his coworker probably does think there is something between them. I asked him why she would think that and he said “by her behavior.” At this point it doesn’t matter to me either way.

He is already so in love with another woman, he is willing to break my heart.

Looks like there’s nothing left of my marriage to save. It hurts but I’m not going to beg someone to choose me.

So now we are separated while I figure out what comes next. We are in a no fault state and he has no assets. Does anyone have any advice for an uncontested divorce?

TL;DR: He decided not to choose our marriage, so I’m leaving him. Divorce advice?

COMMENTS

milquetoastsandwich > I’m a little confused about bringing the friends in but sounds like you got to a healthy decision. Best advice I have is to retain an attorney asap if you can. Ask for local recs. But if there are no assets to fight over then maybe you can get out without spending too much $$. I’m sorry. It’s very hurtful he doubled down on the fake polyamory. > > OOP >> I asked them if I could stay with them for a while and felt the need to explain why. They are his friends too so they wanted to talk to him to get his perspective. It got more heated than any of us expected. >> >> But thank you for the advice. I am hoping to get out without spending too much. I don’t think he will fight for the marriage and this would be a simple dissolution

Cream_of_Teet > This seems fake. You went from "My friend called him to wring him out" to "I sent him home to think about his actions while stayed with our friends" implying that this was an in person confrontation. Which one is it? Was this over the phone or was this at your friend's house. The inconsistency screams fake > > OOP >> It was in person. I went to their house to ask to stay for a while and after telling them what happened I called my soon to be ex and he drove over.

BeholdBarrenFields > I am so sorry. From your first post I knew this would be the outcome. But you have handled it perfectly, and I’m so glad you have wonderful friends who have your back. > > It is unfathomable to me that he is throwing everything away when he doesn’t even know if this woman reciprocates his infatuation. And even if she does, infatuation is all it is. The rush of something new and exciting. When things don’t work out there, he will be back with his begging and crying. But after reading this update I don’t think I have to tell you not to take him back. You have shown strength dignity, and respect for yourself. Your future is brighter without this manchild. > > OOP >> I honestly can’t believe this is my life right now. I never expected to be looking down the barrel of a divorce and staying in my friend’s guest room. >> >> I am so grateful to have them. >> >> But god damn does it still feel like my whole world is crumbling. >> >> BitchKitty_9 >>> You said in another comment that he basically has nothing (not even health ins.) so what does your housing situation look like? Is he on the deed/lease? In my opinion, you shouldn't have to stay in a friend's guest room since your husband is the one who ruined your marriage. He should be the one to leave. >>> >>> OOP >>>> We are co-signers on our lease and our fully paid off car. He can have the shitty car and the apartment if it means I can have my divorce finalized before he comes crawling back asking for another chance

CompetitiveCoconut16 > Find a divorce lawyer. You don’t need to spend an arm and a leg. I think my uncontested divorce cost about $2000 when everything was said and done. If he has a 401K/retirement, make sure you take half of that… take every penny you are entitled to. > > OOP >> He has literally nothing. He doesn’t even have health insurance

Prudence_rigby > What do you mean by separated? > > All of a sudden all his crying and blubbering stopped? Im sure his mom will be happy with his whining. > > OOP >> I mean I’m staying with friends and pursuing a divorce >> >> ReallyBadDisguise >>> Do you think he actually told her the full truth? >>> >>> OOP >>>> I think he explained his version of polyamory to her. I don’t know if he told her he’d already picked out another woman.

Brief_Hippo5187 > Separate your finances as much as you can. Get tested for STDs. I'm not trusting your husband when he says nothing happened. Can i ask how old everyone is? Updateme > > OOP >> I’m 30. He’s 33. The coworker is 26

gardengirl99 > He has no assets whatsoever? Not even a life insurance policy that you can stipulate that you remain the benefit of? Not even a 401(k) IRA somewhere? > > OOP >> If there is life insurance, it’s the free coverage offered through his employer. He thinks 401ks are a scam so he doesn’t contribute to one. Same thoughts on the health insurance

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

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u/BigONerd — 1 day ago

▲ 1.0k r/storytimesociety+2 crossposts

AIO My sister and husband text privately and spend time together. Should I be concerned?

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/Medical-Angle-549

Published on: r/relationships_advice & r/AmIOverreacting

Story is: ONGOING

Story timeline

Main Post: June 15, 2026
Update: June 27, 2026

Main Post

^(June 15, 2026)

AIO My sister and husband text privately and spend time together. Should I be concerned?

My husband and my sister have developed what I think is an unusually close relationship, and I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting.

My husband travels for work to the area where my sister lives, so they have opportunities to see each other when he is in town.

Some examples:

They text directly about travel plans, shopping, TV shows, and random family/life stuff.
My sister has gone shopping one-on-one with him before and bought clothes for him because she remembered his size.
She frequently sends me photos of outfits, earrings, dresses, etc. asking for my opinion, but often it feels more like she wants validation than advice.
Once she modeled a dress in front of me, my husband, and her husband. Her husband complimented her, but she immediately asked my husband what he thought.
She has privately texted my husband asking when he’ll be in town and told him when she would be away, seemingly so he wouldn’t visit when she was gone.
When my husband mentioned a possible birthday-week visit, she got very excited and immediately said she would start looking for reservations.
She often seems unusually interested in my husband’s reaction to clothes or style choices.
My husband says nothing inappropriate has happened and that it’s all harmless.

Am I overreacting, or does this sound like emotional flirtation / blurred boundaries? If you were in my shoes, would this bother you?

Note: There were over 100 replies from OOP across multiple subs, i've convetred them into Q&A

Have you talked to your husband about how uncomfortable this makes you feel? >Yea once I kind of hinted at something kind of mild like what are you texting so much about and he said “relax”. > >I have not flat out called him out on it. Just every time I remotely suggest something he either ignores my comment or dismisses it. One time I brought up going with he did not shut it down but then it turned into oh I will be going for only 1 day quick turn around.

Have you read their messages? What did you find? >Yes I have and they both seem complicit. Its like watching a tennis match with the texts back and forth inside jokes but nothing obvious like everthinh has some > >Plausible deniability. > >They did but one could read them and think nothing obvious > >Great advice! Some of what I have seen in texts spills into her making minor annoyances about her husband or issues with the kids but nothing openly blatant. But I can’t say I have seen all their texts. I also don’t understand why they have a private lane when in other instances I’m in chats and it’s usually when she’s sending photos of herself. If she sent that in private it would be an open flag but instead all > >Those texts include me.

Do they spend time alone together? >He works quit a bit. They do things together with him but seems like a a lot without him. Also the texts never mention him in the plans. Like he will meet her at a mall just the two of them spend time together then meet him. > >They mostly hang out alone then meet up with BIL but it’s so orchestrated to avoid him. > >Thank you this is helping at least confirm I’m not insane. As to your question they never tell me ahead of time. But one time he left his busness meeting early i could see he was heading tomher neighbohood. I called multiple times and he did not pick up. Later it came out they met up for coffee hung out shopped and then met her husband for dinner.

Does the texting increase around his work trips? >I feel terrible for saying but I check his phone. Aside from a few blips once a month a funny clip and small chat it ramps up just before one of his trips. > >Not so much missing sections if anything the texting escalates when he’s there and I’m > >Going to sound insane but feels like they are giddy and trying to find ways to get together. On one shopping excursion she had him take pictures of her trying on clothes. Nothing too sexy mostly winter clothing but she got all her make up on and hair done up.

How often do they shop together? Does your husband even like shopping? >They went shopping together multiple times and always alone. > >He hates shopping that’s something I did not connect the dots on I have to pull teeth and yet every time he’s out there they just happen to end up at mall together.

What does your brother-in-law know? Why haven't you talked to him? >Yea she’s married I don’t know what he thinks worried if I say something to him I might escalate and everyone will think I’m Insane. > >We are all in our 40s. Her husband and don’t have that kind of open line of communication and he certainly has not hinted anything to me. He kind of worships her and does whatever she says. So not sure if the light bulb is not going on but I can’t go to him about this without more concrete evidence. It’s hard to explain I worry I will look like an insane possesseve jelous person and im not but all of it seems > >Just off without a real smoking gun. They both play it like this is just normal. > >No bc i know based on our relationship she will 100% say im insane and jealous. As for her husband i dont have a read on his take and it could get ugly fast if im reading this the wrong way.

Why do you believe your sister wants your husband's attention? >He has control of his travel schedule to a certain extent. She will include him on some of the photos. They would include her husband but why not include him in the texts for celebration. Her text are always like it’s bw the two of them. Like they are playing a couple. He doesn’t hide them but as I said they have this plausible deniability something feels off but I will look like a jealous B if I say something that’s the difficult part. > >I never ask her husband. One time she tried two tops asked all of us which we Liked better we all gave response my husband mentioned the one the others voted down she wore what my husband picked and then I caught her saying to him see what I picked.

Did your sister invite your husband to stay at her house? Do you think they're having a physical affair?

>He stays at hotel but I found a private message where she told him he should stay at their house. > >He said thanks but I need to be close to the office. > >The shopping started about a year and a half ago. But I don’t think they having physical intimacy I think it might be emotional and could get to the physical.

Has your sister always been competitive with you? Why haven't you confronted your sister?

>Older than me and yea competitive > >She is going to say I’m insecure and crazy

Update - after 12 days

^(June 27, 2026)

AIO UPDATED-My sister and husband text privately and spend time together. Should I be concerned?

Since my last post, I found out more context that made me feel even less like this was “just one weird moment.”

I learned from my niece that during the purse-shopping trip, my sister encouraged her son to leave and go with his sister, which left my husband and my sister shopping together. My husband then took multiple photos of my sister trying on purses. My niece also later mentioned that the sales associate assumed they were husband and wife. My sister corrected her, but apparently found the whole thing funny and entertaining.

I’ve seen the purse photos now, and they do not feel like “quick shopping reference photos.” They feel like my husband photographing my sister modeling.
There was also another visit where my husband stayed at my sister and her husband’s house. After her husband left, my sister did her hair and makeup, modeled a winter coat, and my husband offered to take photos so she could see it. Later that night, when she was dressed up for an event with her husband, she sent my husband a photo of herself with no comment attached.

Again, any one thing could maybe be explained away. But added to the private texting, the skirt saga, the jeans gift, the dress/top opinions, the way she seems to care about his reaction to what she wears, and the fact that she keeps creating these little moments where he becomes her photographer or appearance judge it started to feel like a pattern I could not unsee.
So I talked to my sister first.

I told her I needed to discuss something awkward, and I tried to be calm. I said I was uncomfortable with the texting, the outfit photos, the shopping, and the way she seems to use my husband as an audience for how she looks.
She immediately got very calm. Almost too calm.
She said, “He’s my brother-in-law. We get along. I didn’t realize that was a crime now.”

I told her it was not that they get along. It was how they get along.
She asked, “How do we get along?”

I said, “You use him as an audience.”

That was when her tone changed. She gave this small smile and said, “Or maybe I’m just comfortable in my body and you’re uncomfortable watching someone else be comfortable in hers.”

I told her that was unfair.

She said, “Then what exactly was I doing? Modeling too aggressively? Wearing leggings at you?”

I said I was trying to set a boundary.

She said, “No. You’re asking me to shrink so you can feel bigger.”

That one really hurt.

When I brought up the photo she sent him after the coat situation, she said, “I sent a photo in a conversation we were already having.”

I said, “With no comment.”

She said, “Because it didn’t need one.”

Then she said, “Maybe you should try sending him photos. Maybe then you wouldn’t be so worried about him looking at mine.”

I told her that was unnecessary, and she said, “So is accusing your sister of trying to tempt your husband because he took a few pictures while shopping.”

I asked if she would stop texting him privately about clothes, outfits, shopping, and photos.

She said, “Stop what, exactly? Existing around him? Being friendly? Letting him take a photo if I ask? Laughing when something is funny?”

I said, “You know what I mean.”

She said, “No, I don’t think you know what you mean.”

The conversation ended with her saying, “If your issue is with your husband looking, talk to your husband. If your issue is that I look good, that’s not mine to fix.”

That was probably the most painful part, because she made me feel insane and jealous for noticing something that still feels real to me.

She did not apologize. She did not agree to stop. She basically framed the entire thing as my insecurity and said I was trying to control a normal family friendship because I felt threatened.

I walked away feeling worse, not better.

And honestly, that conversation left me more confused.

So now should I have a conversation with my husband….? wtf do i say I thought confronting her with the facts would be easy but I felt stupid petty and jealous. I need a sanity check.

COMMENTS

Lanky_Emu_1184 > girl if that was my sister I’m slapping her across the face, but besides that, my sister would never be like that towards me because she doesn’t have this underlying competition that your sister seems to be having with you. Did you guys grow up getting compared a lot? > > OOP >> We did >> >> Noonull >>> Your sister wants the attention you get from him. She might not necessarily want him, she just wants to take what you have or she likes having the ability to do it. >>> >>> Talk to her husband and yours and tell them the boundary. If they are okay with what she’s doing, then you know that you need to pack it up and leave and go NC with her. He should not be entertaining her and her husband should not be happy with her toeing the line. She will escalate it for fun now that she knows you don’t like it. >>> >>> OOP >>>> I think you’re right although she has done a few things that lead me to believe she might be attracted to him.

Suki_13 > NOR. Your sister is a classic narcissist. Personally, the older I get the more I distance myself from energy vampires like this and people who bring nothing to the table, even if it’s family. That being said, I would have a heart to heart with your husband and find out what his motivation is behind all of this and let him know you feel disrespected. His response will tell you all you need to know. On a sidenote, does your sister not know how to use a mirror?! > > OOP >> 🙏🏻and such a good point 🤣

kittendollie13 > NOR. If I remember your original post, your sister was recently divorced or was in the middle of one. She is a shark going after your husband, and she is a conceited b&$"ch. I can't tell just how clueless your husband is or if he is putting on an act but both of y'all need to block your sister. > > OOP >> No she is not divorced or divorcing but don’t know if that’s in the works that she has not told me.

swhertzberg > I feel like there is a big difference between OP's husband using his phone to take pictures, vs OP's sister in law handing her phone to him and asking him to take pictures. > > OOP >> I had not pinpointed this but I think you are 100% on why it bothers me. She’s letting him take photos that he can revisit. That’s going on my list of arguments

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

reddit.com

u/AlabasterSting — 1 day ago

▲ 709 r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

Me [25 M] with my GF [22 F] of over a year, has trust issues and I can't deal with it anymore.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/TrustIssuesGuy

Published on: r/relationships

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

Main Post: September 28, 2015
Update 1: September 29, 2015
Update 2: September 30, 2015
Final Update: October 03, 2015

Main Post

^(September 28, 2015)

Me [25 M] with my GF [22 F] of over a year, has trust issues and I can't deal with it anymore.

Backstory:

My girlfriend and I have know each other for 10 years now. I met her through her brother, who still is one of my best friends, when I was 15 and she was 12. Over the years, we ended up hanging out a lot, became really close friends but we were never really interested in each other dating wise, until last year, after we hooked up after a party (alcohol was involved, go figure), and we decided we would give it a try.

The relationship:

Thing were going great. I've never felt about someone the way I feel about her. She really loves me (atleast she says she does). I really saw myself building a future with her, but over the year a couple of things have happened that started giving me doubts about us.

Incident 1: 7 months

We go out for a weekend holiday with a couple of our friends (2F+1M). There she decides she doesn't want to share a room with me, but wants to share one with her girls and I should room with my friend. No big deal, whatever. Then she proceeds to tell everyone we meet that we're just "fuckbuddies" and she's single. This really pissed me, but I didn't want to ruin the mood, and she had been drinking, so I talked about it with her later that night.

I ask her why she was telling those thing to people, when we had been dating for 7 months. She tells me "because that's what we are, we're just having a bit of fun." I basically tell her that dating for 7 months is not just having fun. We go back and forth for a bit, until I get mad and my buddy just suggests that we go home (me and my friend).

When we're packing our bags I hear my GF crying upstairs to her friends and when I'm about to leave with my friend, she comes downstairs and asks me If I want to talk. She tells me about her ex-boyfriend and how he was abusive, both mentally and fisically, and that because if him, she's afraid to let someone get close to her, because she doesn't want to get hurt again (this happened when she was 18/19). This hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew the ex-boyfriend was an asshole, but not that it was that bad. I understood why she would be careful letting someone get close to her. We talked it out, I decided to stay for the rest of the weekend and we had a really good time.

Incident 2: 10 months

We're drinving and she notices my ex-girlfriend (3 years) started following me on twitter. She mentions it and I tell her my ex sent me a pm asking me how I was doing. We had a short friendly conversation (just catching up) and that was it. My girlfriend get mad, asking me what I'm up to with my ex. I tell her it's nothing, I even tell her to look at the messages. This isn't enough, and it gets to the point where she tells me to pull over and calls her friend to pick her, because she doesn't want to talk to me. I wait until her friend picks her up and then drive home.

When she comes home, she immediatly apologizes about how she acted, how I never gave her a reason to not trust me and hwo she's insecure because of her above mentioned ex. I tell her its fine, and I think we're done talking about it, until a couple of nights later, she had a little to much to drink and when we get home, she completely brakes down.

She talks about how she's such a shitty girlfriend, how I deserve better and should be with my ex, about her ex, about how she'll never truely trust someone. I try to cheer her up, tell her everythings ok, how I love her, how I want to be with her and eventuelly she starts believing me and she falls asleep.

Incident 3: 14 months (yesterday)

We had plans with one of her friends, but I get a call she has to work late and how I should meet her friend at the bar. When her friend goes to the bathroom, I get approached by a women, asking me the person I'm with is my GF. I tell her no, she's just a friend. She then asks me if she could buy me a drink. I tell her no thank you, I already have one. She then asks me if she could give me her number, so we could hang out later. I tell her I have a girlfriend and I'm not interested.

Out comes my grilfriend with a huge smile on her face, telling me I passed "the test" and that now she could trust me. She paid the women 50$ to hit on me to see what I would do. Turns out, it was her friends idea (she did it to one of her ex-boyfriends).

I get upset that she still doesn't trust me, after 14 months, and I'm done. She starts crying telling me she's sorry, but I tell her I can't deal with it anymore. I don't want to talk to her until I've thought about our relationship and I suggest she should do the same.

That's where I'm at right now. She called me once today(didn't pick up). She left a message about how sorry she was, how she really loves and that it was stupid of her to try and test me, and again the about the insecurity because of her ex. I really love this woman, but I just know that in a couple of month she'll lose trust in me again for some reason, eventhough I've never done anything that should suggest I'm not fully committed to her. I don't want to lose her, but I'm afraid we're on a road to nowhere and that I'll resent her when we eventually brake up. I really hope you guys have some advice for me.

tl;dr: GF has major trust issues due to past abusive relationship. Results in incidents where it's clear she doesn't trust me when I've done nothing wrong. Don't know how to deal with it anymore.

COMMENTS

TheDandyGuyInSpace > Honestly those issues are going to go away... as far as we know you have not given her a reason to not trust you, and after a year and some change she decides to test you? Fuck that you are in a relationship. I'd be done with her but as we all know its never that easy, so ask your self this, how many more "tests" are going to come? Can you handle being with a person who doesnt trust you? > > OOP >> > how many more "tests" are going to come? >> >> My friend made the same point. "Next thing you know she's tracking your car or listening in on your phone calls or checking in on you at work." I know he's exaggerating, but I'd never thought she'd pay someone to hit on me either. >> >> > Can you handle being with a person who doesnt trust you? >> >> I don't know. When we're a normal couple, everything is perfect. But when stuff like this happens it's really making me feel like crap because I know she doesn't trust me and I don't know what to do to help her.

juliusstreicher (downvoted) > You don't want to lose her, but, you will. She's just looking for a dick, and that cannot be cured with your promises of being faithful. > > All this shit about her ex is just that: shit. You are not her ex, and comparing the two of you is just her "damaged girl" routine. She wants to blame her not wanting you on her ex. She wants to fuck you, for now, but, not be in a relationship with you in the same way that you want. > > You are/were just her fuckbuddy, as she stated. She will never treat you normally, and, she will run off with, and be happy with, the next person who starts to treat her like shit. Just be happy that you have a fuck buddy who won't be a drain on you for life. > > Learn from one who has been there, my friend. > > OOP >> I've been thinking all the stuff you said for the past couple of hours. Especially the part about "the damaged girl routine", because that's how it's been feeling. She does something bad, makes her excuse and in the end I pity her and make up with her. >> >> A part of me wants to break it off, but there's also a part of me that wants to give her one last chance to work on our relationship, with some terms. I don't want to give her up but I also don't want to waste my time and get hurt in the end. >> >> As for being in a relationship with me, I do believe she wants that. Because when everything is normal, we are perfectly happy. It's not like there are more arguments about other stuff. I might look like a fool, but I believe she wants to be with me, and is not just waiting for the next shithead to treat her like shit. >> >> NalkaNalka >>> Her actions and later excuses sound just like the first year with my gf that had borderline personality disorder. In fact she pulled nearly identical stunts to the ones you mention. >>> >>> Also keep in mind that the intention of the last scenario is not to test you. Its to create the feeling of paranoia and to make you wonder every time you talk to a girl if it's a plant by your gf. >>> >>> Does your gf use the words "allways" and "never" alot? >>> >>> >>> >>> OOP >>>> > Its to create the feeling of paranoia and to make you wonder every time you talk to a girl if it's a plant by your gf. >>>> >>>> Yeah, it's going to take a bit before I'll feel comfortable talking to someone I don't know, fearing it might be a setup. I'll have to make clear to her what she did was not at all acceptable, and how now she made me have trust issues. Not as in scared she's seeing someone else, but in a "is she watching me?" kinda way. >>>> >>>> > Does your gf use the words "allways" and "never" alot? >>>> >>>> Can't really answer that. Only examples I can remember are when she uses them to discribe her feelings. "I always wanted to meet someone like you, I hope we never break up, ..." That sorta thing.

Update 1 - after 1 day

^(September 29, 2015)

Update: Me [25 M] with my GF [22 F] of over a year, has trust issues and I can't deal with it anymore.

Today I get a call from my GF's brother/one of my best friends. He ask me if he can come over and have a talk with me about what happened.

GF told him what happened at the bar and I was glad he saw why I was mad. He thought what his sister did was not cool, especially 14 months into a relationship, but he asked me if it was worth throwing away what I had with my GF over "a stupid mistake." I told him it wasn't the only thing that bothered me and told him about the two other incidents. He didn't know about these.

He then started telling me the same story GF keeps telling me when she lashes out at me. Abusive ex, trouble trusting people, ... I tell him I've heard it all before and I can't deal with it. I try to help but she won't let me, doesn't trust when I've never given a reason to distrust me and at this point I don't believe she's ready to date someone long term and she should get help. He basically tells me that he knows she really loves me and he knows she should get help, but if I bail on her now, she'll never get better at trusting people. He wants me to help her get better.

He then straight up asks me if I want to break up with her. I tell him I don't know, but it can't go on this way. He tells me he would like it if we tried to make it work, but he can't make that choice for me.

tl;dr: Girlfriends brother/one of my best friends came over to have a talk. Gave his opinion on what I should do.

COMMENTS

TorchedBlack > Dude, you're already like 75% out the door. Having a shitty relationship history is not an excuse to abuse and her brother is obviously a biased source to be taking advice from. Its not your job to fix her issues. Only she can do that and its not looking like shes wanting to do that. > > OOP >> 75% seems a bit much, I feel like I'm split down the middle atm. >> >> I realise he's a biased source, but in the end, he wants what's best for her. It must mean something that he thinks that us being together is that. If strangers on Reddit can give their opinion, so can he, eventhough his view might be biased. >> >> meowN >>> > he wants what's best for her. It must mean something that he thinks that us being together is that. >>> >>> No no, read that again. They're family, so her happiness comes first, not yours. You need to remember to watch out for yourself and decide what will be best for you. >>> >>> Regardless of what you decide to do, you need to remove his opinion from the equation because it is biased. >>> >>> OOP >>>> You're right. I'll have a talk with him about what he said after this whole thing is setteled.

defiancy > Look, she probably did have some bad things happen to her with her ex, but it's clear now she is using that as an excuse and justification for the way she acts with you. It's also clear that whatever trauma she had from her past is not going away and she isn't doing anything to get over it. It is not your responsibility to help her "get better", it's her responsibility. For her brother to place that on you, is frankly a really shitty thing. > > If you care about her and want to stay with her, then you need to tell her that you'll consider it, IF she seeks and goes to counseling. Otherwise, I'd break up with her and not look back because you deserve someone who will trust you and respect you for the person you are. > > OOP >>> It is not your responsibility to help her "get better", it's her responsibility. For her brother to place that on you, is frankly a really shitty thing. >> >> I agree with you, but it wasn't really the time to call him out for saying that imo. >> >> > If you care about her and want to stay with her, then you need to tell her that you'll consider it, IF she seeks and goes to counseling. >> >> It's obvious she needs it, because I can't help her deal with her issues. If she's willing to do that, for me, that would be a step in the right direction.

D-redditAvenger > Give her an ultimatum. Either go to counselling or you are done.
> > OOP >> There will have to be terms if the relationship continues. Her going to therapy is one of them.

Update 2 - after 2 days (after 1 day from last post)

^(September 30, 2015)

Update nr. 2: Me [25 M] with my GF [22 F] of over a year, has trust issues and I can't deal with it anymore.

2nd update. First of all, thanks to everyone who responde in my original post and my update post. Because of you I found it easier to express how I felt and what I wanted from her. I also try to give as much details as I can, so you have the best perspective, but apologies if you think I have to much text.

The thing I wanted/dreaded most these past few days; I met up with my girlfriend to have a talk about what happened at a bar. She wanted to meet me at my place, but I preferred somewhere more neutral. I wasn't 100% sure on what I was going to do, so I wanted to hear what she had to say first.

She apologized for testing me. She realized what she did was out of line and she was thankful I was still willing to meet her to try and talk things out. She told me she was going to get help dealing with her trust issues and she really wants to get better. She still really loves me, she’s willing to make things work and hopes I’ll support her, preferebly as her boyfriend, but at this point she'll take us being friends (which I don't really believe, maybe she was just preparing for dissapointment in case we were breaking up).

I told her I was happy she’s getting help, but I can’t stay in this relationship just because of promises, I needed actions from her. I told her I still love her, but she really hurt me by playing games with me. I asked her when I ever gave her a reason to distrust me, why she didn’t just talk to me instead of doing these things. I understand that what happened to her is horrible, but I can’t be punished for what something else did to her. I asked he why I should stay with someone who keeps pushing me away. Her response:

“Because it’s not an empty promise. I realize I need to learn to trust people, because even if you walk, nothing will be fixed. I’ll lose other people in my life and I don’t want that anymore. I know that if you support me, it’ll be easier for me. What I did to you was horrible, but those things were just a small part of our relationship. The rest of the time I was happy, and I know you were too. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here talking to me. Please give me one last chance. I will try to make everything better for us.”

She basically said what I'd hope she would say. I told her I’d give her one last chance, but there would have to be terms, so I could actually see her try because I can’t keep going based on hope. She just said she would do whatever it takes.

she needs to get professional help. I’ll support her in getting it, but I can’t help with her issues. I tried for 7 months and it’s clear I can’t do anything to help her get over it. She needs to work hard on fixing them permanently with a professional.
No more tests or unreasonable outbursts. I told her the previous incidents really hurt me and if it happens again, I’ll walk and she’ll also lose me as a friend.
Our relationship: she damaged it, plain and simple, and it will take a while to fix it. I’m willing to do my part, but she has to show the effort. We had been talking about moving in together before all of this, but I made it very clear that was off the table, and won’t be discussed for a while. We're not starting from 0, but we're taking a lot of steps back.
I wanted the key to my apartment back I gave her. Her test made me a little paranoid and while I know she won’t cheat on me, she took abuse of my trust and now she’ll have to earn it back.

She agreed with all of these terms, overall she just seemed happy I’m giving her a chance. I was feeling some relief as well, because I honestly didn’t expect her owning up to her mistakes, realizing she needs help and accepting my terms to continue our relationship. The only thing that kept bothering me was why she thought that test was a good idea.

She told me her mom brought up a couple that broke up because the husband cheated and she made the comment about how he always looked like the perfect husband, “just like your boyfriend”. This made my GF panic a bit and she went to talk to a friend, who suggested she should test me. Her friend told her she did the same to her ex-boyfriend. I still question why she did it but I was more interested about the comments her mom made. Turns out her mom has making these comments for almost our entire relationship.

"He'll end up leaving you. And you'll get your hart broken again. You'd think at this point you'd learn."
"He looked a lot happier when he was with [ex]"
“You should take your distance from him a bit, he shouldn’t get the wrong idea” (Comment made around our 1 year anniversary)
“His ex moved back into town, so I’d keep an eye on him. You know how cute they were together. He probably still in love with her. Who could blame him.”
“When he’s going abroad for his job, he’ll find a mistress. They all do.” (no idea where she's getting this. My work doesn't send people abroad)

Fucking bombshell dropped on me. And the way she was telling me all of this, didn't seem like she was making it up (seriously, if she was, she should get an award). There's about ten more she told me, but typing them out would depress me. Nobody knows this is going on, not even her dad and her brother. I feel they should be in the know, and so is my GF, but she is terrified she'll rip her family apart. What the fuck do I do with this?

Tl;dr: Talked to girlfriend, she’s seeking help. Relationship will continue under terms. Tells me her mother played a part in all of it.

Final Update - after 5 days (after 3 days from last post)

^(October 03, 2015)

Final update: Me [25 M] with my GF [22 F] of over a year, has trust issues and I can't deal with it anymore.

Final update. First off, thanks to everyone who responded to all of my previous posts. I don't know if without you guys, we would've come to the solution we have today. Second, I'm sorry I didn't respond to questions or advice in my last update. Between the personal problems and work, I didn't really have that much spare time. Here is, what I hope, my final update. I'll try and give as much details again, so sorry for another wall of text.

After the talk me and my GF had, we came to the conclusion that in order for her to get the help she needs, two things need to happen.

She needs to move out of her parents’ house and get her away from her mom.
We need to tell her dad and brother what’s been going on, so everyone important is in the know.

GF was hesitant about the last one, she didn’t want to break up her family. I convinced her about at least telling her brother, so if mom tries to manipulate other family members, we at least have someone on our side. We called her bother over to my place. We first informed him of our talk, what my GF’s plans were and how we are going to try and help her. He asked about our relationship. My GF told him about the terms I set, and how it was up to her to put in the work this time. He was happy that we were able to work things out, and promised us all his support and help wherever needed. I also talked with him about our conversation last Tuesday. I told him it was unfair of him to put all the pressure on me to make everything right. He apologized for putting me in that position and told me his only excuse is that he was trying to help his sister.

When we told him about what his mom had been doing, he was furious. He had noticed she had been making off handed to comments to him too, but he never really let them get to him. He supported my stance on the issue of telling her dad, feeling he deserved to know. He also supported us in getting her out of the house. He assumed she would be moving in with me, but after my GF informed him that wasn’t an option, he offered to let her stay at his place for as long as she needed.

We met their parents the next day. Her brother and I agreed that she needed to confront her mother. She was scared, but we told her that whatever was going to happen, we would be there to support her. She told her parents what happened between us, what had been going on the past few day, and how she was going to get therapy to get over her issues. This is how the conversation went:

GF: “… I’m getting therapy.”

Mom: No, you’re not. You’re not getting therapy. You don’t need therapy.

GF: Yes, I do. What I did is not normal. My problems need to get fixed.

Dad: [mom’s name], If she wants to get therapy, let her. If she’s fine, it’ll be over in a couple of sessions.

Mom: SHE’S NOT GETTING THERAPY. Therapy is for crazy people, SHE IS NOT CRAZY.

Me: Yeah, you’re right, she isn’t crazy, she needs help, and if you’re not willing to help her, I will.

Mom: Don’t you speak to me, this is all your fault.

Me: What did I do?

Mom: You have been manipulating her since day one. I always knew you were no good. You're making my daughter paranoid and then blame her for it. I won’t stand for it.

Brother: If anyone’s making her paranoid, it’s you.

Mom: HOW DARE YOU? I AM YOUR MOTHER. I RAISED YOU AND DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY.

Dad: Calm down, [mom’s name].

Mom: NO, I’AM BEING DISRESPECTED IN MY OWN HOUSE BY THIS LITTLE SHIT (points at me) AND HE’S DRIVING A WEDGE BETWEEN ME AND MY CHILDREN. I’M CALLING THE COPS.

Brother: Yeah, you do that. They’ll have a good laugh.

Mom: Look [GF’s name]. Please listen to me, he’s just like [Ex’s name]. He’ll hurt you, just like [Ex’s name]. I’ve told you this time and time again. Listen to me. Who did you come to after all the beatings, after all the cheating, the humiliation? Me, I was there for you. Listen to your mother. He doesn’t care about you, he’ll use you and throw you away, you know I’m right. I told you a thousand times then and I’m telling you know.

GF: No he won’t. He cares about me, unlike you. All you’ve done these past few years is telling me how I fucked up going out with [Ex’s name]. How stupid I was going back. And yes, it was stupid, but you reminding me every chance you get doesn’t help me. I told you a million times how happy me and [my name] were, but you always needed to shit on my happiness.

Mom: WELL, IF YOU’RE REFUSING TO LEARN, YOU CAN PACK YOUR BAGS AND GET OUT.

GF: That’s the plan.

Mom: WHAT! I REFUSE TO LET YOU LEAVE WITH THAT PSYCHO (alluding to me). YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER.

GF: I’m leaving, and that’s the end of it. You are ruining my life and I won’t allow it anymore.

Her mom then left the room and her dad went after her. We decided to get my GF’s valuables, some clothes and stuff most important to her. We heard her mom screaming at her dad from downstairs. As we are trying to leave, the police arrive. She called them, telling her I was kidnapping her daughter and how I assaulted her when she tried to stop me. GF explains to the cops what's going on, meanwhile mom's yelling at them to arrest me. Cops end up arresting her. That's how it ended. GF hugged her dad goodbye, telling him how she'll call him but it's not good for her to be at home right now. They were both crying. I really felt bad for the guy, he was always a nice guy and he doesn't deserved this. We went to her brother's place, unpacked everything and that's the end of our night.

Today (saturday), GF gets text from her dad. Mom came home and smashed all of the things we couldn't get out, trashed everything and talks about how she doesn't have a daughter anymore. GF doesn't care, she's happy she's out and she's has her first therapy session next wednesday. Whether or not I'm part of any sessions is up to her/her therapist. I'll do my part and it seems GF is willing to do hers. We have a long way to go, but atleast we've set the first steps.

Tl;dr: We confront her family, mom flipped out and got arrested, girlfriend moved out and starts therapy next week.

COMMENTS

jakabab > Holy fuckin guacamole. > > Good on you for giving her a chance. That chance gave you so many more pieces of the puzzle and maybe now your GF can really work on her issues, instead of constantly having someone whisper awful things to her. > > It would've been understandable if you didn't give her a chance, for the record. I'm just glad that your GF has some true support. I wish you both luck! > > OOP >> That's been going through my mind all day. What if I just walked away? In her eyes, I might have proven her mom's point. Her mental state isn't in the best shape right now, last thing she needs is someone feeding her more insecurities.

MissTheWire > You are a stand-up guy and I hope she realizes how much you have done for her to try to get over her mom's BS. I hope things work out; even if they don't, you treated her (and yourself ) with compassion and respect. FYI, going into therapy for issues this deep-seeded can be really rough, prepare for some ups and downs (although that doesn't give her a pass for treating you badly). > > And she needs to dump the friend who told her to give you a "test." > > Just curious, you knew the family a long time, did you suspect the Mom was this crazypants? > > OOP >> Yeah, I know it'll be hard on both of us, but I'm prepared to work on it, and it looks like she is as well. At the end of the day, we're on the same team and we want the same thing. I hope we don't lose sight of that. >> >> As for her mom: she was always friendly to me, I never noticed any resentment. She could have made some backhanded comments, but I probably never even realised it. Maybe in time, I'll think back about things she said, and with what I know now, I'll realise what she actually ment. >> >> Edit: >> >> As for her friend: I've not asked her to cut ties with her. That's for my GF to decide. Her friend isn't really a bad person, she didn't mean for any of this to happen. She has never show any intention of sabotaging us and was really upset about the whole aftermath. She has felt really bad about this whole ordeal. >> >> I received a apology from her after the "test" happened, and I'll be honest, I wasn't upset with her, I was upset with my GF. She was the one who went with the idea. She could have said; "That's horrible. I won't do that." I told her that after all this, instead of taking actions right away, she should think about what concequences those actions could have.

pepcorn > Her mom sounds like she wants to protect her daughter, but she's going about it in all the wrong ways. Too bad she so anti-therapy, I feel it could benefit her too. > > OOP >> Maybe she'll realise it and gets the help she obviously needs. But the fact that her daughter walked out of her life and her first response was to destroy everthing that reminded of her, doesn't give me hope. >> >> Anyway, at this point, my GF is done with her mother. She'll be able to get the help she wants and that's all that matters to me.

throwawayathrowaway0 > Wow, you are an awesome person, OP. I hope you know that. > > It sounds like your girlfriend's mom is verbally abusive and as someone who grew up in that sort of environment, it really fucks with you. Some people never gain the confidence or support to get out of a situation like your girlfriend was in and it kills me knowing that there are still people (usually children) stuck in toxic environments feeling hopeless. I know your girlfriend is not a child, but it sounds like for at least part of the time you guys have been in a relationship, she's sought approval and wisdom of her mother. > > Maybe I'm reaching a bit and making assumptions about your girlfriend's upbringing and relationship with her mother. Regardless, I'm so glad she's finally realizing how fucked the things your mom has been saying and how that's impacted her treatment toward you. You have been so understanding, patient, and supportive. I really hope therapy helps her out and that you relationship grows stronger because of all of this. Thank you. > > OOP >> Thank you. I try my best. >> >> I assume that her mother has been doing this since she was with her ex. I know at the time, she was right, her ex was absolutely shitty to her and she needed to get out, but wouldn't listen. I'd hate to be a parent in that situation. >> >> But after it ended, instead of comforting her, she kept blaming her and reminding her how she was right the whole time. When your head isn't in the right place already, that's the last thing you want. Anyway, since mother was right about her ex, mother must have been convinced she was right about me. The fact that GF kept repeating we were happy, must have been reason for her to keep pushing her ideas on GF. >> >> Or maybe I'm wrong and her mother has been abusive her entire life. The fact that her brother has similar experiences worries me, but right now I'm afraid to dig deeper into the issue. I'll leave that to the professional.

materiaVII > It sounds like your gf will be much better off without her mom, as sad as that is. > > Her poor father though. His daughter leaves and his wife goes nuts. If I were you, I would have your gf regularly invite her father and brother out for family nights. It sounds like it would be good for all three of them. > > OOP >> Definatly. Her dad has been nothing but cool to me, and I really felt bad for the guy. He will always be welcome at my place.

MuppetManiac > Does she have her birth certificate? Social security card? Passport if she has one? Forget about the valuables, make sure she has these things. Go get them when mom isn't home. Get dad to help if you can. > > OOP >> We have all those thing, or atleast a way to access them. Birth certificates are obtainable via city hall.

GoldenAthleticRaider > Man I really hope this isn't your last update! Things can only get better from here. > > OOP >> Maybe I'll do one a couple of months from now, depending how everything goes.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

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u/BigONerd — 1 day ago

▲ 4.5k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

Boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me over text while living in the same house

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Positive-Rest6444

Originally posted to r/GirlDinnerDiaries

Editor context from previous posts: BF is 23, OOP is 21

Original Post - June 6, 2026

DISCLAIMER: this is a lot to read, but it’s worth it. and had to post again!

two days ago…i got a text from my boyfriend, now ex boyfriend, who was upstairs in his room btw, that said “im done” followed with “should i find a new place to live?”…um okay? what. let me tell you, i was CONFUSED. me being in the headspace i was, i was begging him to have a conversation with me in person about this. all i wanted was for him to open his door and let me know what even happened. but this dude hid in his room and ignored EVERY text i sent for over an hour. he finally answered and said “i don’t think we’re compatible” along with “i don’t think this is working out for us anymore”… every message sent started with “i don’t think…”. like what? at this point i am sitting outside his door knocking, because why am i being broken up with over text after 5 years??? he proceeded to ignore me for another 30 minutes. his final text he sent me that night was “i think i’m done and i’m not even trying to be an asshole”…you know what, fine. so i went to my moms and SOBBED.

at my moms place, i cried for a good 30-40 minutes, then…i just stopped crying. i ended up being SO mad over the situation. 5 years and you broke up with me over text??? in the same house??? my mom was just as confused as i was. i debated on staying at my moms that night, but then decided i’m going to stay in the damn place i pay for too. i went back to our shared place and spent the night there.

my friend ended up calling me and was just as dumbfounded as i was (she never liked him that much, but understood him and i’s relationship dynamic). i think if she didn’t call me that night, i would have not felt the way i do now. she described our relationship in an outside view perspective, and oh my god…what have i been dealing with for so long???

now…i’m not saying i was perfect, i started fights sometimes, and nagged over certain issues, and there was a point in our relationship where i was on the fence whether i should break up with him. but i will divulge in the specifics later on in these paragraphs.

the following day we didn’t speak at all, i had the whole place to myself while he was at work. i took that time to look for places for me to move in to, thought more about our relationship, and just got even more pissed over the situation. once he came home from work, he went straight into his room and turned on the shower at 7:40pm (this is an important detail). i texted him at 10:23 pm, after being ignored all day, that “we needed to have an in person conversation tomorrow”. his shower is still running 3 hours later, and he ignored me the rest of the night.

yesterday morning i went downstairs to my kitchen and WAITED for him to come downstairs before he went to work so i could confront him about ignoring me. i stood in the kitchen for about 15 minutes before he came down. i said “why have you been ignoring me” in a nice tone, despite how i was feeling. yet i was met with such attitude from him, he said “i have to go to work bro, i don’t have time for this”…understandable, he had to go to work…i wasn’t expecting him to have that conversation with me right then and there. but the attitude??? you broke up with me over text bro, why do YOU have an attitude with me.

that pissed me off for the next couple hours. so i took that annoyance and found myself a 1 bed 1 bath in the same complex we are living in right now (just because i love the area, its nice and quiet, and i wouldn’t have to move far). i obviously would prefer to move out of this town, but nothing is available for a decent price nowadays. i also ended up writing a text that i would send to him if he couldn’t speak to me face to face that night. and then i just waited….

he gets off at 7:10-7:20 every day. he didn’t come back until 9:40. immediately he got home and turned on the shower. i waited an hour to text him if we could talk after his shower (shower is still currently running). this was the text chain, verbatim.

him: “i can’t should i find a new place to live?”
me: “we need to have this conversation in person”
him: “no we don’t”, “i cant”
me: “what do you mean you can’t?”
him: “i just can’t i don’t have the heart to”
me: “you have to get over that and do it anyway”, “i don’t want to have this conversation over text”
him: “there’s nothing to talk about”, “do i need to find a new place to live”
me: “yes there is, we need to figure out what’s happening with this place”, “you at least owe me that right now, once we figure that out we don’t have to speak again”
him: “what do you mean what does talking in person have to do with anything”, “wdym i owe you this was your doing?”

my doing???? YOU’RE the one who broke up with ME over text. anyway….

me: “an in person conversation about what’s happening to our place”
him: “what does that change and what does that mean”, “what is happening to the place”
me: “that’s what we need to talk about”, “that’s all i’m asking”
him: “what does that mean what can’t be talked about over text or me just texting the property people”, “i’m not talking in person”, “i literally can’t”
me: “are you serious”, “you can”, “this is a conversation that needs to be talked about in person so we can figure out a plan”
him: “i just can’t this is the best for both of us this is what you wanted for a while”
me: “i am not asking for you back or to stay together”, “i am soley talking about what the plan is”, “can we end things on a good note and figure out a plan”
him: “it’s not on a bad note there is no difference between talking over text what is there to even talk about with the place you can just text me it?”
me: “you’ve been ignoring me for over a day, i’d rather this just be in person”
him: “there is no difference? i’m not talking tonight i have a headache and im stressed”
me: “seriously, i asked yesterday to have this conversation”
him: “yeah i just can’t”
me: “when can you?”
him: “idk”, “what needs to be talked about in person”
me: “this is ridiculous right now….i’m going to find my own place, something is available next month that i am going to get, so either you stay here and i find someone to live with you, or you pay for this place on your own if you want to live by yourself”, “there’s more stuff regarding the lease that would be easier to talk about in person”
him: “i can’t talk in person and i know it’s ridiculous”
me: “so i need to know the plan”
him: “i’ll pay for this place my self until the lease is up”
me: “okay”

to start off, i am thankful he is willing to pay for this place himself until the lease is up, that takes a lot of stress off me…it’s a very kind thing to do, and i appreciate him for that. but…to not be able to have a face to face conversation with me after 5 years of being together??? that is so disrespectful.

now let me tell you all i have done for this man.

he is not a clean person, even before we lived together, i would have to pick up his room at his moms place because he wouldn’t do it by his own will. his “trash can” is the floor under his desk. he would throw his trash on the floor and leave it there for WEEKS, enough to the point where it piled up almost to the height of his desk. i gave him trash bags to incentivize him to throw it away, but somehow that trash bag ended up in a random corner of his room. his dirty laundry is always all over the floor, i even gave him one of my extra large laundry baskets to help him out. but clearly that never worked. he would sleep on his mattress without sheets for weeks if i didn’t make his bed. one day, i spent over 9 hours doing all of his laundry and putting it away for him, reorganizing his drawers, his closet, where he keeps his towels, and not even a week later, it was back to how it was before. i have had to scrub his toilet, shower, sink, and floor because somehow there was pee everywhere. back to the shower point, he would run his shower for HOURS…enough to where the pain has completely peeled in his bathroom from all the moisture. he would fall asleep on the toilet or bathroom floor. no matter how many times i told him to not run the shower for that long, he still did it anyway. now before i go further…i have ocd, i am a very neat person. i am not perfect, i sometimes leave a pile of clean clothes on my floor that i’m too lazy to put away for about a week, or have empty monster cans on my desk, sometimes i don’t do the dishes for about a week because i forgot about them. BUT i always ended up cleaning it up without being told. i spent the past year and a half of my life cleaning up after him, trying to help him manage his money better, and get him into good habits. i was his mommy. yes, he took care of me financially, but you’re a grown adult, i shouldn’t have to tell you to clean your room. i have two cats, why would i want them to possibly get into the trash on your floor and get sick.

one time i went on vacation for a week, i came back to the place smelling like SHIT. why? because since i wasn’t there, there was an insane amount of trash on his floor, smelling up the entire place.

this led me to not want my mom to ever come over, she came to our place maybe 2 times out of the year and a half i was living here. my mom is my best friend, we have a very close relationship. the fact i was too embarrassed to have her over tells me a lot.

despite the cleanliness situation, he would never spend time with me. there was a point in time for about 3-4 months where he was never home until late at night getting high with his friends, and then hopping on games with them right when he got back. i game A LOT, so i have no issue with the fact he would play games, it’s just that he would never make time to play with me. he would spend maybe 5 minutes with me in total everyday. it was absolute hell. i would tell him about it, and it was a fight every time. during that period we didn’t ever have sex. and his excuse was “my friend and his girlfriend haven’t had sex in a year”. oh i’m sorry? am i your friend, am i his girlfriend??? no, i’m not…so i’m not even sure how that correlates.

now i am not putting the blame ALL on him for the duration of our relationship. i dealt with a lot of stuff for so long that there was always resentment and issues. during the time he wouldn’t spend time with me, i picked fights just so i could get an ounce of attention even if it was negative. i sometimes wouldn’t speak to him for a whole day because i was annoyed i had to clean his room for him. there are plenty of things i did wrong, but i believe it all comes from a place of reason whether he sees it or not.

another thing was promises. i told him when we first got together that promises and pinky promises are held to the HIGHEST standard with me. if you promise me something, you have to follow through with it. if you can’t do that, then don’t promise me. he would break promises CONSTANTLY. he would promise me he’d clean his room, or take out the trash, or not take my drinks or food. in the past year, he hasn’t kept a single promise other than taking care of the cats when i’m gone. i slowly started to lose trust in his word. he would tell me things i wanted to hear then never act upon them. i shouldn’t have to remind you for 5 days in a row to clean the trash off your floor…after you promised me it would get done the first night. or i shouldn’t have to hide my drinks and food in my room just so you don’t eat them in one night, after promising you wouldn’t do so. from the broken promises, became lies, he would lie over little things…like getting high, or ordering food at night when we both promised we would eat better. he would shove door-dash bags under his bed and they would MOLD. and the ones that weren’t old, he would convince me that they were from so long ago, when the receipt would show it was ordered last night, or the day before. i have never lied to him in my life, let alone broke a promise.

i was never taken on dates, he never truly wanted to spend time with me (disregarding the past two months of our relationship, he spent more time with me towards the end, that’s why this whole thing surprised me). he never just planned anything for us for us to do. most of our relationship living together was me helping him be a clean person, being disregarded, and left alone.

i take this as a big win. this is not what i deserve. i don’t deserve to be broken up with over text while he is in the other room. i don’t deserve someone who can’t have a face to face conversation with me after the fact. and i deserve someone who wants to spend time with me without me having to beg for it. i thought i would be more sad over the whole thing, but i honestly just feel relief.

my little snack: açaí bowl with mango, honey, and granola in hawaii

UPDATE - June 18, 2026 (12 days later)

EDIT: here’s the link to my first post: bf of 5 years broke up with me over text while living in the same house.

So. This is my little two week update after all this went down.

Since that night, he has not spoken to me since. It’s mostly him hiding out in his room whenever gets off work or on his day off.

I have reached out to him over text for housing related questions, because….well, there needs to be SOME sort of communication. When I reached out, the question from him followed: “are you 100% sure you’re done?”, along with “is this what you really want?”. Yes, this is what I want…and NEED. You can’t break up with me, ignore me for two weeks, and expect me to get back with you!

With that….I FOUND MYSELF A PLACE!!! It’s a nice little 1 bed 1 bath with my own balcony! I move in at the end of the month! I am so excited to be able to be on my own, in my own space, CLEAN space, and be able to invite whoever I want over without feeling ashamed.

I have reconnected with people these past two weeks, and made some new friends as well! I have never been better. I am actively looking for a job at a vet clinic to help further my career. I have the motivation and confidence to do things now, because I am on my own. I was so dependent for so long that this is all so exciting for me. I am doing things I never thought I would do.

My skin has never been clearer, most of my anxiety went away, my hair isn’t falling out as much anymore. I have truly never been better. I am not settling for anyone anymore, I know what I want and how I want to be treated. I FUCKING love life!!!!!

Little dinner: SCALLOPSSS 😌

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

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u/CultureInner3316 — 2 days ago

▲ 2 r/storytimesociety

I am scared to tell him...

Hi maybe if I sound so out of touch please feel free to comment. I don't know how to start I met this guy a few days ago really kind really sweet, he can play guitar and he speaks Japanese, one thing that bothers me about him that he moves too fast, I'm really scared of telling him no to a relationship I am all about talk and I always give advice to people but now I need help because I can't really express my emotions much, I feel like that he moves too fast through my life and I'm not ready for a real commitment even though I know myself and I know that I need more than just their name and I need to know them before I I'm ready to commit into a relationship, I really need advice on how to tell him no and how to tell him that I just want to move on with my life and not ready to commit to a real thing. Please someone could actually give advice because I'm trapped...

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u/Heavy-War9457 — 1 day ago

▲ 1 r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

A joke almost ruined my relationship

[deleted]

u/[deleted] — 1 day ago

▲ 1.2k r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

One of my most memorable customer interactions...

I used to work at a beachfront tavern in one of the windiest cities in South Africa. One winter's morning, this older gentleman walks in. Picture the classic South African farmer: shorts, long socks pulled up, work boots, a two-tone button-up shirt, and a thick jacket.

Naturally... he chooses to sit outside on the deck.

Nobody wanted to serve him because it was freezing. I thought, "It's quiet. I'll take him."

It wasn't even 11 o'clock yet, so we were only serving breakfast. But he tells me, "I'm craving a steak, egg, and chips."

I tell him, "Let me see what the chef says." The chef agrees, so I go back to take his order.

I ask, "How would you like your steak, sir?"

"Medium rare."

"Perfect. And how would you like your egg?"

This big, tough-looking Afrikaans farmer looks me dead in the eye and says, "Young lady... when you bring my plate... if I shake it..." Then he purs his shoulders back and does the cutest little body shimmy you've ever seen. "...I want my egg to go like this."

He didn't say "sunny side up." He didn't say "soft." He just danced it for me.

7 years later, I still remember exactly how that man wanted his eggs.

Tell me about your favourite customer interactions! I'd love a good giggle!

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u/ElectricOwl3655 — 3 days ago

▲ 37 r/storytimesociety+1 crossposts

Cheating story of my ex aunt.

Hello. My aunt( uncle's wife) cheated on him since the day of their marriage and we uncovered a truth no one could imagine.

I never knew something like this could happen in my family. I only heard stories like this online. It feels like living in a movie.

So my uncle and aunt live in another country which is approximately 4000 kilometers away from our home country.

Anyway in January, 2022 my aunt suddenly came back alone with my cousin sister without contacting anyone.

She didn't meet anyone just setteled in her parents house. Even though we were just half an hour away. And we were all excited to meet our cousin sister since we never saw her in person.

It seemed suspicions. We all ignored it.

After a week my uncle arrived.

He told us everything. He said that they fought and she left him there without telling anything.

Anyway, my uncle tried to reconcile and say sorry and take her home. Aunt told everyone that my uncle cheated on her. He was very controlling, toxic and abusive. He never lets her go on a vacation. He can't perform in bed etc etc. Eventually rumours was circulating like fire.

Then she pulled another stunt.

She left her home with my baby cousin and stayed missing for a month.

Everyone was looking for her.

At that time, suspicions rose.

We all asked our uncle if aunt had any ambiguous relationship with anyone. He denied it. He tried so hard to protect her image.

Since he denied it every time we all believed him. Then she

sent divorce papers. He didn't sign it. Anyway divorce happened. They didn't decide anything on child support but he sent her unimaginable amount of money every month. And he owns 6-7 apartments. He rented them. All that money went to her.

Then we tried so hard to get him to move on.

Like take a break or start another relationship. Anyway he did nothing just said "yes I will but not now." etc etc. We gave up eventually.

And he went back to his job in abroad.

Now back to June 2026,

We got some ambiguous pictures of my ex aunt with a guy. The guy that my aunt cheated with sent them to some of our relatives. And it got viral immediately. Turns out she got married to this guy a few days after she went missing herself. They had a relationship of 17 years which means it goes long before she got married to my uncle.

We heard another story. Actually she and that guy eloped when they were in high school. But my ex- aunt's father caught them and put her in a house arrest.

After 3 years, she married my uncle.

One of my cousin sent the pics to my uncle. And he started to curse my ex aunt. We were scared what if he takes any wrong step since he was waiting for her to reconcile. So we scolded our cousin. A few days later, he came back to the country. We told him to let go and get into a relationship. But he said that he will eventually when the time is right.

Fast forward to present, we got to know that he is meeting our ex-aunt secretly.

The guy she cheated with, she divorced him and took everything he gave her. That guy spent 4 years with her in a marriage. He bought every single thing in the house. And she took everything even the curtains. He went to our aunt's(father's sister) home and said everything. That guy was crying for her. He was repeating one sentence over and over again."Tell him(my uncle) not to contact her. And she will come back to me."

Turns out my uncle knew that she had a boyfriend already. But he wanted to be with her so much. Later during their marriage he got to know about her cheating but he shamelessly continued his relationship with her. He even knew that she was with that guy after she came back to the country. Even when she went missing. He was acting like he knew nothing in front of us. Utterly shameless.

But still he let himself be the fish in her Fish Tank. He willingly became a part of her harem. How disgusting.

Now since that guy doesn't have money.My aunt divorced him. And she started pursuing my uncle relentlessly. My uncle being the second male lead in a heart wrenching novel forgives her.

She is the greatest gold digger, I have ever seen.

Two men just throw all Their money on her.

That's it.

I think We are going No Contact with uncle in a few days. Cause I believe he will cut all ties with us. My father along with his other siblings are trying to make uncle understand that she is only after his money and he should leave her. I think he already knows that but he loves her so much that he is willing to be a doormat forever.

I don't know what the future holds. I hope everyone is happy in the end.

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u/Toto_employee — 2 days ago