u/Banana-Upload

My new boyfriend and I have been freshly in love and therefore very active for the past few months. We both love being outdoors, and sometimes we don't make it home quite as quickly as we should when we get in the mood, so we've occasionally ended up having sex in places that aren't fully public but aren't exactly private either.

Recently, we had sex in his car, in the dark, on a parking spot in a relatively quiet area near the woods. The area does get some traffic, though, and since people sometimes park illegally there, police regularly drive through and check for illegally parked cars.

As luck would have it, they happened to drive past while we were in the back seat getting down.

I'm usually a very rule-following, law-abiding citizen, so the possibility of getting caught makes me pretty anxious. I'm guessing I'm also not really what you'd call an exhibitionist, since I don't get a thrill from the possibility of being caught. If anything, it mostly makes me panic a little.

I should probably also clarify that what we were doing isn't necessarily illegal in my country. The relevant criteria for "public sexual acts" are basically that it's likely and reasonably easy for people passing by to witness what you're doing and that they would be likely to be disturbed by it. Since it was dark and the rear windows are tinted, this is technically a bit of a gray area, as someone would have to deliberately look into the car and potentially use a flashlight to actually see anything.

That doesn't mean the police couldn't have fined us — they absolutely could have if they had seen us and decided the circumstances met the criteria — but there is at least an argument to be made that it wasn't clearly a public act.

Anyway, long story short: I'd like to get a little better at being sneaky with our outdoor adventures.

Does anyone have tips for minimizing the chances of being spotted, specifically when it comes to doing it in a car? One of our biggest problems is the interior lighting. It doesn't seem to fully turn off even when the car is locked from the inside because the keys are still inside, and accidentally pressing a button can turn all the lights back on again.

Please spare me the obvious "find a less frequented spot" or "just don't do it" comments. I'm specifically interested in practical tips for making the car itself less noticeable.

I (30M) met someone through a work event recently(25F), and we really hit it off. We seemed to have a lot of things in common, and she seemed to express interest in me the same way that I express interest in her. This was all a bit of a shock to me, since my experience in dating is somewhat limited (I’ve had one relationship before, but that’s been about it). Having an incredibly beautiful girl express interest in me really felt like a parallel universe.

We haven’t gone on an actual date yet, but we’re talking about one and planning one. I was incredibly excited to go out with her… until I found her social media account.

Basically, her social media presence consists of (what I would describe as) “thirst trap” photos. Her showing off her body, trying to look “sexy,” and showing off a lifestyle of extravagance (including multiple photos of her sitting in expensive cars, hotel, and everything in between). I was really surprised by this. Her personality seemed very reserved and shy when we met, so I never would have expected her social media pages to look like this. To be fair, she hasn’t shared any of these pages with me. It just so happens we have a mutual friend that triggered a “people you may know” recommendation.

I’m honestly not sure how I feel. There’s nothing wrong with her expressing herself however she wants on her own social media pages, but I’m getting the impression that her and I might be too different. Im not really into people who present themselves that way, and her entire lifestyle and background looks very “privileged.” I do pretty well for myself these days, but I’d never present myself this way.

TLDR:
I’m questioning if I should go on a date with her to try and get to know her better, or if I should pull back a bit on all of this. What would you do?

i can only get turned on by rough and violent sex. luckily, my bf shares the same kink. the problem is, both of us have been going too hard too often and my body is getting completely wrecked. i’ve got deep bruises all over my skin, and my private parts are literally torn and bleeding from the intense friction. seeing this, my bf decided we should only do gentle stuff or skip penetration entirely so my body can heal.

but the thing is, i can't even get aroused if it's just soft and sweet, i need to be beaten up so badly that i can't think straight. i’ve been trying to give my body a rest these past few days, but the urges are driving me crazy. my mood has been down bad just because of the cravings. when i begged my bf to do it again, we ended up getting into a huge fight. he said i’m practically being suicidal and that he just can't bring himself to do that to me anymore. so i tried to please myself but i ended up hurting my own body again...

is there something wrong with me?? i don't have any past trauma, my life is peaceful and happy, and my bf is an amazing guy who genuinely cares about my well being. what should i do to stop destroying my own body?

I have seen way too many videos of “dating coaches” saying if a man rejects you it has nothing to do with you, your value doesn’t change, his loss, etc etc. It just never made sense to me because a person rejects you BECAUSE he thinks you’re not valuable enough. How would it be “his loss” if he called it quits with you and started dating someone else?? Him saying no literally means “I don’t like you enough and I don’t see you worth my time and effort”. How on earth does that mean you’re still “amazing and valuable.” Rejection is personal because they are literally rejecting you lmao. And this is someone who has been rejected before and he got into a relationship another woman , so I literally stopped dating or even viewing men as romantic partners. I only see them and brothers and uncles and NEVER approach them or make the first move cause it is insulting and humiliating. Who agrees?

I try not to have negative thoughts and be positive. But over 15 years of trying and not even have a moment where I felt hopeful of being with someone is really hurtful. I took advice from friends, dating coaches, even therapy to regulate my emotions.

The feeling of being unloved and never receiving affection weighs heavily on my soul. I sometimes ask why did it happen to me? I've put in so much effort only to be shunned. I do not blame women for not preferring me because I am not entitled to anything. I just feel the burdening sense of having failed as a man.

Ive (30F) been with my bf(35M) for over a year now. We met on a dating app. We live about 1.5 hrs away from each other but visit one another almost every weekend and stay the whole weekend. Sometimes we will take time off work and stay together for 4-5 days at a time.

The first time we met in person he got us a hotel room and we had sex about 7ish times within a 12 hour period. We went out for drinks and dinner and once we made it back to the room we very demurely did our own bed time routines, got in our pajamas to watch a movie, and then didn’t make it a single minute in.

And that’s been more or less our entire relationship. We just now were able to make it through a movie a week ago but not without pausing for sex breaks. A 2 hr movie turned into a 8 hr one. It just never gets old. It just keeps getting better.

We’re both flabbergasted at how compatible we are. We’re both high energy goofballs that love joking around and being affectionate. And apparently these silly goose vibes translate into really good, hair pulling, light choking, bent over the sink sex. There’s something about seeing the “class clown, golden retriever, everyone’s fav party animal and sweetheart friend” turn into this primal, dominant sex god that just makes me absolutely melt.

We’re gonna close the gap soon and I KNOW things won’t be this fun anymore and I’m dreading it. Any tips from anyone w a similar situation?

I’ve never desired being came in until my boyfriend. We didn’t use a condom once I think during my period? Once we opened that can of worms it was hard to get either of us to put one on. He’d ask me not to, I’d not REALLY want to, he’d ask me again and say he’s gonna pull out, I’d say fine but you know that’s not a reliable pregnancy prevention method. He’d fail to pull out soon enough like half the time and some would get inside anyways. This happened like 2-3 times to the point where condom usage was sporadic.

It was hard for us to go back to condoms after that one time. They put drugs in that shit I don’t know. I don’t know if condoms like compress the head of change the texture but condoms are like sex lite or something and I’m saying this as the woman. I got on birth control I few weeks later because we both have adhd and I don’t trust either of us to keep using that condom. We were doing good before, I asked to not use it when I knew I couldn’t get pregnant and then we really stopped caring. I swear we did it one time when I might’ve been ovulating and I had a small pregnacy scare so I started pills my next period.

I like when he finishes in a condom. I LOVE when he finishes without one. Especially when it’s been a minute and he’s hydrated. Remembering the towel is a pain in the ass because you don’t remember you didn’t grab one until you’re leaking out onto the blankets. But it’s so warm and like I have some of him in me. I like the little pulsing sensation and feeling it go inside me. I like the concept that if I wasn’t on the pill he could get me pregnant like that. Like wow he could really put a baby in me. And in the moment for a second I genuinely want him to. Then I snap back to reality where I don’t want kids for atleast another 6-8 years and I make sure I take my pill on time everyday.

I used to think I’d find it messy and gross. Like I thought I’d want him to pull out most times or that it would feel violating. I can’t see him for another 5 days and it crosses my mind everyday

Is this a breeding kink? Do I have a sex addiction? This can’t be normal and it’s objectively kind of nasty. Like it’s a snot like texture and it just randomly shoots out of his junk. I don’t think I’d enjoy swallowing, but I love having it inside of me. I’m putting so much trust into this pill it’s insane because sometimes I keep it in me for a bit. I don’t even run to wash it off right away but he doesn’t really either. I guess I just kinda wanna know if I’m normal or it’s a kink for me