u/Aggravating_Art203

I'm in college for Cybersecurity. Interview honestly went pretty solid, answered most questions right, tripped up on one answer a little but still got it.

I got lab experience and school stuff but this my first actual IT job.

Did labs in classes like Microcomputing Systems, Workstation, and Computer Network Security. Mostly used AI to help document and organize what I was learning while working through stuff like Group Policy, Microsoft cloud stuff, and Active Directory.

Built a VM home lab too with Active Directory, made users/groups, practiced password resets, account management stuff, and basic admin tasks.

Job starts June 8. Hybrid. 6 month contract. Got 2–3 weeks training.

Part of me excited cause I grinded for this fr. Been trying to get into IT since like 2025 and long term tryna move into Identity and Access Management in cybersecurity.

Other part of me feel like imma get exposed first week 😭

Questions:

How yall deal with imposter syndrome?

What should I expect during training?

How do I not panic when I don't know something?

How long till yall felt comfortable?

What separates people that level up fast vs people that stay stuck?

Trying not to sell my first shot cause it's $23/hr and I need da bread 😭

i’m 20 and not completely lost in life. i got real goals, i’m into cybersecurity/IT, i’m starting my first IT job, i work out, and i make some money from my part-time job. so on paper, physically, and career-wise, i’m doing decent.

but mentally and socially i feel really off, and i want honest opinions on my situation.

a lot of my late teens was just community college, part-time work, mostly online classes, projects, gaming, smoking, hookups, and then getting into a serious relationship. that relationship lasted basically my whole 18-19, a year and 9 months, and when it ended it sent me into a dark place. it was really good and really bad. i handled the breakup badly because of certain things, and even though there was already tension and emotions in it, it still messed me up mentally. she said nothing was wrong with the relationship and that she just needed to grow, but at the time i had nobody to emotionally rely on and no real friends like that, so it hit hard. her being at a university while i was in community college definitely played a part too.

i think part of why it hit so hard is because after her i felt like i had nothing besides work, career, family, and old friends that i genuinely just don’t fw anymore. they’re still on the same shit i used to be on, smoking, playing the game, not really growing. it made me look at myself and realize i’m not on that anymore, so i just cut them off ngl.

community college also made it hard to meet people my age, and working a lot while taking 4-5 classes, most of them online, kept me busy and isolated. i think my real issue is that i’ve been isolated in the same position for too long. i’ve been at the same part-time job since 16 and in community college since 18, so i just feel stuck in the same cycle. career-wise i’m progressing, but socially i feel like nothing is changing.

so now i’m at this weird point where i know i need to grow and change, and i do want to, but it feels weird doing it through this path of getting a real 9-5 mon-fri job so young. like i know it’s the smart path, but at the same time i want that feeling of the college experience, being free, partying, having fun, meeting new people, building deep connections, and traveling. i also feel a lot of fomo from not getting that college experience too.

the weird part is my life actually looks solid from the outside. i landed my first IT position, i’m in shape, my parents support me, i know what certs i need, i’m financially literate, i have ETFs and a high-yield savings account, i know what i’m saving for, and i know what my long-term goals are. i want to grow in IT, get into cyber, maybe start an MSP one day, and get into real estate too with house hacking and buying a duplex. but mentally i’m not really there. socially i feel like i have nothing good in my life besides work.

right now i feel like i live too randomly, and my mood gets thrown off from staying up too late, not eating right sometimes, overthinking, being insecure about how i look, and not really socializing outside of work. so when i get back home, it’s like this wave of fear, missing out, or comparing myself that spirals me, and then i just chill, do my work, and stay in my head. that’s when the bad thoughts start.

after the breakup, rebounding with girls honestly made it worse too. now i’m fw a girl i don’t even really like, and she wants a relationship when i already know that’s not what i want. so i know i should just be focusing on myself instead of forcing something.

honestly i feel like what i’m missing is real friends, real motion, real experiences, community, and just loving myself more. i want to go places by myself, make friends by myself, and stop depending on my old high school friend group. i want to be in repeated environments where i can naturally meet people and build real connections. i just want this next phase of my life to actually feel like mine.

i really just want deep friendships, real connection, and a life that feels alive. i want to stop letting my mind go to bad places every time i’m alone and stop feeling so insecure in myself. i want to be structured and successful, but still feel young, alive, and like myself.

so i guess i’m asking:

does this sound like loneliness, burnout, being stuck, or something else?

am i overthinking my situation, or does this actually sound like a real environment/social problem?