u/Aggravating_Art203

I’m 20, living at home, doing college part-time, and working a remote six-month IT contract. Over the last few months I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want my life to go, and I feel like I’m finally starting to build something instead of just going through the motions.

From about 16 until I was 19, I worked retail making minimum wage. Outside of work, I was mostly smoking Za, going to house parties, hooping, and hanging with the same group of friends. I always knew I wanted to do something with computers, but I didn’t really know how to turn that into a career. Around 18, I started getting into IT and cybersecurity, learned the fundamentals, and realized this was something I actually wanted to pursue.

Around that same time, I got into my first serious relationship. It lasted about a year and nine months, and we broke up two weeks before my 20th birthday. After that, I honestly felt pretty lost for a couple of months. Around March and April, I was questioning a lot about my life, but it also pushed me to start applying for IT jobs, studying harder, and taking my future more seriously. That’s how I ended up landing this contract.

Now I’m in a completely different mindset. I go to the gym, study, work remotely, invest in VOO and VGT, and I’m saving at least $800 every paycheck. I already have around 10k saved, and my goal is to save another 10k during this contract so I can come out of it with around 20k.

My long-term plan is to buy a duplex using an FHA loan, live in one unit, and rent out the other so the rental income helps cover the mortgage while I build equity. I know it isn’t as simple as just buying a property, so I’m trying to learn everything I can about house hacking, saving enough for repairs, closing costs, emergencies, and whether I should wait until I have a permanent position instead of a contract.
One thing I’ve realized is that almost all of my friendships happened because I was in the same environment every day, like high school, retail, or work. I still have love for my old friends, and I have a girlfriend now, but some of those friendships don’t really line up with the direction I’m trying to go anymore. I also realized I never really learned how to go somewhere new and build friendships from scratch. I work remotely, my private gym is usually empty, the basketball courts around me are mostly younger kids, and my community college doesn’t really have much of a campus life, so I’m not really sure where people in their 20s actually meet other motivated people.

If you were in my position, what would you focus on? Would you keep stacking cash, invest more, stick with the duplex plan, or change anything? If you’ve house hacked before, what do you wish you knew before buying? And if you’ve gone through a similar transition in your early 20s, how did you build a better circle of friends and keep leveling up?

What's good y'all. I'm 20 and about a month into a 6 month remote Help Desk contract at a bank while finishing my associate's degree in Cybersecurity. I graduate in about 10 months and honestly I didn't even expect to like this job as much as I do.

Every day I'm in ServiceNow handling incidents, requests, and access requests. A lot of my tickets involve adding users to security groups, granting permissions to different applications, account unlocks, password resets, and troubleshooting access issues. I also troubleshoot Outlook, Microsoft 365, Adobe, Zoom, printers, VPNs, TCRs (cash recycler machines), LastPass, OneDrive, and a bunch of other banking applications employees use every day. We support over 50 applications, so I'm getting exposed to a lot of different systems and seeing something different almost every day.

Before I got this job I built a couple home labs too. I built an Active Directory lab using Windows Server 2019 and 2022 where I set up Active Directory, DNS, and DHCP in a lab environment with fake users and computers. I created users, security groups, and OUs, assigned users to different groups, created and tested GPOs, managed permissions, practiced password resets, account management, and basic troubleshooting just to get more comfortable with how everything works. I also built a Microsoft 365 lab where I practiced user account management, worked with Microsoft 365 applications, and troubleshot common user and application issues.

I also put together an OSINT dashboard project. I used AI to help make the UI, and one of my friends who's into cybersecurity put me onto a lot of the OSINT sites, so I basically combined everything into one dashboard. It has tools like VirusTotal, Shodan, Censys, URLScan, Have I Been Pwned, Maltego, GreyNoise, SecurityTrails, DNSDumpster, crt.sh, AbuseIPDB, Hunter.io, Sherlock, WhatsMyName, WiGLE, Etherscan, TronScan, Chainabuse, OpenPhish, PhishTank, and a bunch of other OSINT tools all in one place.

School has given me a lot of hands on experience too. I've done labs with Windows, Linux, Active Directory, Azure AD, virtual machines, users and groups, OUs, GPOs, password policies, BitLocker, NTFS permissions, Windows Firewall, PowerShell, Remote Desktop, Remote Assist, VPNs, printers, wireless networking, pfSense, Windows services, Linux services, event logs, Wireshark, ARP, TCP handshakes, IPv4, IPv6, subnetting, DHCP, DNS, ping, tracert, nslookup, netstat, switches, routers, VLANs, trunking, NAT, Ethernet, fiber, patch panels, Nmap, Zenmap, Metasploit, honeypots, vulnerability scanning, port scanning, enumeration, web app testing, Windows and Linux vulnerability scans, and log analysis.

I'm not gonna sit here and act like I remember every single thing from every lab because I don't. Some of those labs were from a while ago, so I've had to go back and redo some of them because I forgot parts of it. Whenever I realize I'm rusty on something, I go back, rebuild it, watch videos, or read through it again until it makes sense. I feel like school gave me exposure to a lot of different technologies, and now this Help Desk job is helping me connect a lot of it together.

Before IT I worked four years in customer service, and I honestly think that's helped me a lot. Talking to users, figuring out what they're actually trying to say, asking questions, and staying patient has made Help Desk a lot easier.

Right now I'm just trying to figure out the smartest move after this contract. I still have about five months left, so I'm trying to learn as much as I can, document what I'm doing, and keep improving.

Long term I wanna get into Identity and Access Management because I realized I actually enjoy the account and access management side of IT. I've noticed I actually like working on permissions, access requests, user accounts, and figuring out why someone can or can't get into something.

I just don't know if I should try to go straight into an entry level IAM or cybersecurity role after this, or if it'd be smarter to spend another year doing Desktop Support, Junior Sys Admin, Field Tech, or another infrastructure role first.

For certs I'm thinking Security+, SC-300 because of IAM, MD-102, Network+, and CCNA. I know I probably won't get all of those done before this contract ends, so I'm trying to focus on the ones that'll actually help instead of just collecting certs.

I've also thought about starting an MSP on the side while I'm working and finishing school just to keep learning and maybe pick up a few small clients. I don't know if that's something I should even be thinking about right now though, or if I should just focus on getting really good at IT first.

If y'all were in my position, what would you do? What jobs would you be applying for after this contract? What certs would you prioritize? And is there anything else you think would help me get into IAM or cybersecurity?

I'm in college for Cybersecurity. Interview honestly went pretty solid, answered most questions right, tripped up on one answer a little but still got it.

I got lab experience and school stuff but this my first actual IT job.

Did labs in classes like Microcomputing Systems, Workstation, and Computer Network Security. Mostly used AI to help document and organize what I was learning while working through stuff like Group Policy, Microsoft cloud stuff, and Active Directory.

Built a VM home lab too with Active Directory, made users/groups, practiced password resets, account management stuff, and basic admin tasks.

Job starts June 8. Hybrid. 6 month contract. Got 2–3 weeks training.

Part of me excited cause I grinded for this fr. Been trying to get into IT since like 2025 and long term tryna move into Identity and Access Management in cybersecurity.

Other part of me feel like imma get exposed first week 😭

Questions:

How yall deal with imposter syndrome?

What should I expect during training?

How do I not panic when I don't know something?

How long till yall felt comfortable?

What separates people that level up fast vs people that stay stuck?

Trying not to sell my first shot cause it's $23/hr and I need da bread 😭

i’m 20 and not completely lost in life. i got real goals, i’m into cybersecurity/IT, i’m starting my first IT job, i work out, and i make some money from my part-time job. so on paper, physically, and career-wise, i’m doing decent.

but mentally and socially i feel really off, and i want honest opinions on my situation.

a lot of my late teens was just community college, part-time work, mostly online classes, projects, gaming, smoking, hookups, and then getting into a serious relationship. that relationship lasted basically my whole 18-19, a year and 9 months, and when it ended it sent me into a dark place. it was really good and really bad. i handled the breakup badly because of certain things, and even though there was already tension and emotions in it, it still messed me up mentally. she said nothing was wrong with the relationship and that she just needed to grow, but at the time i had nobody to emotionally rely on and no real friends like that, so it hit hard. her being at a university while i was in community college definitely played a part too.

i think part of why it hit so hard is because after her i felt like i had nothing besides work, career, family, and old friends that i genuinely just don’t fw anymore. they’re still on the same shit i used to be on, smoking, playing the game, not really growing. it made me look at myself and realize i’m not on that anymore, so i just cut them off ngl.

community college also made it hard to meet people my age, and working a lot while taking 4-5 classes, most of them online, kept me busy and isolated. i think my real issue is that i’ve been isolated in the same position for too long. i’ve been at the same part-time job since 16 and in community college since 18, so i just feel stuck in the same cycle. career-wise i’m progressing, but socially i feel like nothing is changing.

so now i’m at this weird point where i know i need to grow and change, and i do want to, but it feels weird doing it through this path of getting a real 9-5 mon-fri job so young. like i know it’s the smart path, but at the same time i want that feeling of the college experience, being free, partying, having fun, meeting new people, building deep connections, and traveling. i also feel a lot of fomo from not getting that college experience too.

the weird part is my life actually looks solid from the outside. i landed my first IT position, i’m in shape, my parents support me, i know what certs i need, i’m financially literate, i have ETFs and a high-yield savings account, i know what i’m saving for, and i know what my long-term goals are. i want to grow in IT, get into cyber, maybe start an MSP one day, and get into real estate too with house hacking and buying a duplex. but mentally i’m not really there. socially i feel like i have nothing good in my life besides work.

right now i feel like i live too randomly, and my mood gets thrown off from staying up too late, not eating right sometimes, overthinking, being insecure about how i look, and not really socializing outside of work. so when i get back home, it’s like this wave of fear, missing out, or comparing myself that spirals me, and then i just chill, do my work, and stay in my head. that’s when the bad thoughts start.

after the breakup, rebounding with girls honestly made it worse too. now i’m fw a girl i don’t even really like, and she wants a relationship when i already know that’s not what i want. so i know i should just be focusing on myself instead of forcing something.

honestly i feel like what i’m missing is real friends, real motion, real experiences, community, and just loving myself more. i want to go places by myself, make friends by myself, and stop depending on my old high school friend group. i want to be in repeated environments where i can naturally meet people and build real connections. i just want this next phase of my life to actually feel like mine.

i really just want deep friendships, real connection, and a life that feels alive. i want to stop letting my mind go to bad places every time i’m alone and stop feeling so insecure in myself. i want to be structured and successful, but still feel young, alive, and like myself.

so i guess i’m asking:

does this sound like loneliness, burnout, being stuck, or something else?

am i overthinking my situation, or does this actually sound like a real environment/social problem?