u/Aggravating_Break_40

Can sum cleber frenz pweese take mine soobeneer pikshur frum da Chocowate Facpurry? Meowmmy not knowz how, an I doesn't haz fumbs to do it.

Fankz frenz.

Lub,

Basil frum Straylia

I waz halping Meowmmy luk frew herm facey buk memrys, and see dese pics ob sissyfur Charli.

I finked mebbe ourses frenz wud lik to see.

Sumtimez, dese facey buk memrys mak Meowmmy's eyez do a leek, sumtimez dey mak herm do a laff. Meowmmy sayz greef iz a stoopid emoshun.

Lub,

Basil frum Straylia

Hai frenz, iz me Basil.

I haz a horrah storee to share wif yoo awl. Dis morning I waz doin a loafs on da flor finkin abowt mine nex crime, wen suddenlee Meowmmy scooped me up. I no really lik bein piked up, but I tollrayte it.

Anyway, Meowmmy scoopz me up wif rubbery handz, an tak me to da bafroom an shut da dor. Now I can't exskape, how rude! Nex fing I knowz, I feel....oh my cod, dis too terribubble to eben say......

I feelz WET on mine leggz an butt! Meowmmy try to mak me do a sitz in da watah, but I try to getz away frum her. She hold me tite so I can't getz away. But, I twisty an turny to mak it super hard fur herm.

Den, DEN, oh mine cod.....heer come da vio-lay-shun......DEN, she wash mine butt! She say, Yoo haz poopy butt Mr Basil. Da owtraaaage! How dare!

I keep tryna get owt da sink, an I make shore Meowmmy iz jus as wetz az me. I screm. Right in herm fayce. After elebenty billion minnits, she finallee let me go, but den she try to put mine towel/blanky on me. I no let herm, I jus want OWT ob dis bafroom rite meow!

She open da bafroom dor an I exskape. I sitz on da karpetz an leabe wet footy prints. I start washin da stimky baf watah off me. Den I gib Meowmmy a luk ob be-tray-al, an Meowmmy say she feel bad, (good) but she had to. No she DIDN'T.

I iz SO trauma-tised I need napz. Wat betterz playce dan on Meowmmy's sleepiez skwar, rite were she sleep, wif mine wet butt. HA. REBENGE IZ MINE!

Eben do I gotted rebenge, shud I still soo? Or moor rebenge? Wat shud I do frenz?

Picz ob me wif mine luk ob be-tray-al, washin off da stimky baff watah, an gettin rebenge!

Lub,

Basil frum Straylia.