I keep linking things to dysphoria idk why, lately anything I do makes me sick, I can't even listen to songs anymore or do something i kind of like and I dont know what to do. I can't keep bed rotting and hoping the feeling goes away
Sorry if this is offensive, not what I mean at all
Do autistic people ever learn how to tell emotions, have less meltdowns not related to stopping what triggers them, sensory problems become less of a problem and can tell peoples tone? I know it looks different In everyone but generally speaking does it get easier?
I used to voice train and try to pass and i felt more dysphoric then not acknowledging it, im always disconnected, like I expect something just to remember its not there. I have things from before i figured i was trans and throwing them away and trying to get things i like also makes me feel worse
I cant look in the mirror and i cant talk to anyone but i know i dont pass and i cant do anything about it, my body is permanently fucked up and pretending to be cis is easier sometimes because transitioning feels even more far away from being a normal man. I spend my time sleeping and hiding from anyone and i can barely hold a job. I just want to forget about my body and its worse because i have nothing going on
Everything is kind of meaningless and i know I won't pass and theres things that i can never change, ill just pretend to be butch/a tomboy because I don't have any choice but thanks for being a decent place I guess
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lVL-zZnD3VU&pp=ygUVV2hpdGUgdG93biB5b2lyIHdvbWVu
Lol what else do I say
Please I'm going insane, the one at 0:35
thank you
I'm disgusting and fake in both ways. I can't be a man and I can't be a girl either, if I pass I'll lose the one thing that makes me worth anything but it's the same thing that makes me worth nothing I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, I can't let myself close to anyone because I can't deal with how they see me and how weak I feel and I hate admitting I'm dysphoric to begin with and I hate having to transition because I don't pass and i look like a fucking clown. I hate myself even the things that shouldnt matter like my handwriting or how i text and nothing will change i dont know why i have hope for anything. Im just watching as my chance of ever passing gets lower while im losing the best years of my life.