r/truscum

Yes, they do.

The title of this post is the top comment on a post in the main MtF sub.

The post is from a 20 year-old man, who just yesterday had the intrusive thought "what it would be like to be a girl". He admitted he had this thought maybe two to three times throughout his entire life. He mentions that he is generally happy being male, and is a pretty manly guy with a full beard.

His intrusive thought led him to look around online and get opinions on it. Sure, that's fair. To any skeptical, reasonable person, his post is already a big red flag that he's likely not trans.

Then he mentions "I feel like I want to look like a girl and behave like a girl, but i want to know for sure thats what I want before I talk to my gf or friends about it. (Im sure my friends wont care and my gf (bi) would probably love it since I would be her first gf and she always wanted to have one.)". That should be another big red flag. That makes it sound relational/erotic/social... like becoming a “girl” is being imagined as a role in a relationship, not as something he needs for himself in order to live in his own skin.

But ok, whatever. It's fine to question things.

Yet, what is the top comment on his post?

>Cis people don't tend to have these thoughts :)

Plenty of cis people wonder what it would be like to be the other sex. It's an ordinary human thought, one that could come out of curiosity, fantasy, discomfort, envy, intrusive rumination, sexual imagination, aesthetic desire, “what if?” thinking... The important questions are whether it's persistent, whether it causes distress, whether it is about your sexed body rather than fantasy or gender roles, and whether transition would actually make your life more stable and livable.

And the best part is, when people like him actually end up trying out being "trans" for a bit, even going so far as some kind of medical transition, they inevitably detransition after destabilizing their life, and instead of saying “I was poorly guided” or “my distress was misinterpreted", they conclude “transition itself is fake and nobody should be allowed to access it". And then transsexuals get punished for a process we had nothing to do with.

Egg culture needs to be abolished. It treats a simple thought as a revelation. Then the person gets socially rewarded for interpreting every uncertainty as proof. Then any caution is framed as internalized transphobia or gatekeeping. People like this dude need actual good advice, not affirmations. Having an occasional intrusive thought about being the opposite sex doesn't mean you're trans.

For those of you who are either done with transitioning, or done enough that you're largely just living a normal life while waiting to finish some things up, what would you say are your "first world" trans problems? The little things that still annoy you, that other people would kill to have as their issues.

For me, my height is definitely one. I'm just under 5'9, which is shorter than the average model, but it's still super tall for day to day life, especially when my brother is shorter than me, my best friends are the most petite cis women you can imagine, and I live in an area filled with ethnic groups that tend to be shorter on average. It's become a recurring thing when my mom and I go out for someone to remark to her in shock over how tall her daughter is.

I just got my first packer in the mail yesterday with some packing boxers, and wearing it for the first time made me look like I had a raging boner for lack of better words.

I was really excited for it and I still want to be able to use it, but given that I’m only 5’5 it doesn’t look anatomically correct for me to have a massive (genuinely looks like it’s 7”) bulge in my pants.

I can’t afford a different one and this one was a donation from a local queer group so I can’t return it and ask for a smaller one. Does anybody know what I can do to make it smaller or even make it look smaller? I don’t exactly want to leave the house looking like I’m constantly hard 😭😭😭

I've struggled with dysphoria to the point where I think it's the cause of my chronic derealization/depersonalization. I currently live with a parent in a very conservative area and am not out for that reason. I've been trying to get through community college with the hope of transferring somewhere and saving enough money for top surgery at least to get the ball rolling (there is only one surgeon near me and they're in another state, but they don't take insurance) but my mental health issues have been slowing me way, way down, so I feel stuck. I don't ever completely give up though, so there's that I guess, but the problem is that even without giving up I'm not really progressing meaningfully anyway.

Anyway, last semester for an English class that everyone is required to take, we were presented with our first major assignment, which was to write about the identity we craft and what we are conveying through either our social media posts, our possessions, or our clothing. It sent me into a bit of a spiral, because right now my entire life is built around being seen as little as possible until I feel more comfortable existing.

I actually dropped that class pretty quickly over this reason. I'm taking it again now with a different instructor and realized that the assignments are the same regardless (I know for a fact that the first assignment used to be different, and I mistakenly thought that it varied by instructor). I can't just not do it of course, but I'm a bit stuck. Everything I post on social media is not something I want to share in a paper. No one sees my possessions because I don't have any friends, and I don't have any friends because I don't want to make friends like I am now.

I would dress way differently and way better if I didn't have to hide my body shape, but right now I just wear jeans and tees and hoodies. I mean, I'm trying to lose weight and build a more masculine frame so I can dress differently, cut my hair into a much more masculine style, and go by a different name, but there's danger in doing all of that if I still have a feminine body. So I hide. I left my social hobbies years ago despite them being my only social connections, so I basically cut off all of my friends there. Again, I'm putting off going back.

After a decade of refusing medication because I thought I could manage by myself I finally caved and began taking something for my depression and anxiety yesterday. I'm hoping it will help disrupt the cycle of emotional eating I have, which will help me in my goals so I can make friends and form relationships and not want to hide all of the time.