r/truscum

Just been wondering about that. Dysphoria is what makes us trans but how do you feel about euphoria?

View Poll

Hold up let me explain…. I met many pan people that say binary trans people are a third gender. pan means you like all gender/don’t care about gender. Which in reality they don’t like non binary people and do care about gender, what they really are trying to say “trans men aren’t men and trans women aren’t women” like son if you like men and women you are bisexual, I am not a third gender…. I knew a girl who said this guy was pan and not bi because he dated a trans guy

I am a trans woman and I saw a video of a radical feminist talking about how it's wrong for a person to be considered a woman simply for performing femininity, even though radical feminism is considered transphobic, I found her argument interesting.

As far as I know, the goal of feminism is to separate femininity from being a woman, since the imposition of femininity is a form of oppression inflicted upon women, as argued by Simone de Beauvoir.

Therefore, validating a trans woman's womanhood solely based on her social performance rather than her medical transition would be problematic, as it ends up validating femininity as something inherent to being a woman.

I believe this is one of the reasons for the disagreements between radical feminism and the trans community.

What do you all think about this?

Why is my lower half getting wider. Im not meant to have b*bies. ew. my lower body is already so disgustingly broad and worst of all its probably not even fat its kinda bony im NEVER gonna look like a guy

those “male vs female pelvis” comparisons make me wanna rope. fml.

TLDR; I need a temporary gender-neutral name to use in the south while in passing limbo instead of my very feminine one

I live in a very conservative state and area, so I've had to tow the line with myself or whatever the phrase is. I've begrudgingly gone by my very girly birth name for that reason, because if I changed it to something explicitly masculine while not passing, it opens me up to possible issues. That said, I do seem to pass sometimes and it's not just people being nice, I don't think, given the time, place, and person gendering me. Most people here have probably never seen a trans person (that they know of) in their life and don't take that into consideration when referring to someone, but for me it genuinely seems to be a coin flip as long as people don't know my name.

Anyway, now that I'm making some progress with my weight loss/fitness and have finally begun the process for top surgery, I figured that it's time to at least pick a temporary name to tell people, one that also "tows the line" so to speak. I don't want to pick a name strictly used for men, as I still don't reliably pass, but pulling up with my very feminine name doesn't help either and makes me die inside when I have to give it (the first day of college semesters are the worst). I want a nice, normal name, but one that can't help people gender me.

So far I've got:

Andy - I don't think I've ever met a person here in the south named Andy, tbh, which surprises me. Maybe it's just because I'm thinking of Andy Griffith

Sam

Blake

Jesse

Jordan

Bailey? (There's a male country singer named Bailey)

Morgan?

Avery?

It's also difficult to find something that matches your appearance and doesn't feel stupid...

As the title says, I'm really looking to try talk-therapy, but I'm not sure where to look. Frankly, I don't really pass, and spend the majority of my days "boymoding" because it's not safe to be out publicly where I live. In fact, I doubt I'll want to talk about being trans much at all. It feels weird to look for a therapist who can accept that I'm early/mid-transition, but not be a dedicated "queer therapist" or whatever, because I just wanna figure out normal life stuff. Is there a right way to go about this?

I kinda feel hopeless about my future as a transsexual sometimes.

I just wish I didn't have this condition, it's genuinely ruining my life, and no amount of positivity or therapy would help the discomfort and mental suffering I have daily.

I don't want to transition or spend any money for something I should've been born with.

I don't want to feel unsafe and inferior anymore.

Now I'm obviously in a bad mindset, but genuinely who wouldn't be when you're a transsexual.

There's nothing good about this, and I'm debating on accepting that my entire life will just be one big cope. :(

(I really hope reincarnation is real LOL.)

I was arguing with my girlfriend about this, but she was arguing basically that if gender roles diminish overtime, the conclusion is no gender. I told her that’s stupid, explained that regardless if all gender roles were swapped biologically I’d still feel the necessity to transition. Is this how queer people think? Accelerate the “destruction” of gender and no more transsexuals? I’m so lost.

I (16ftm) have been volunteering at this business for about a year, I'm pretty close with the boss now so I asked if she could write me a letter of recommendation to this program I'm applying to. She said yes, but when I got the letter she exclusively refers to me as they/them. Pretty upset about it. Straight up just edited it myself because I don't want the program people thinking I go by they them.

I'm confused because she and all the other people working there exclusively refer to me as he/him, I've never been misgendered by a customer or anything, so I dont get the switch. I wa lucky enough to start passing pretty early on, but pre t there's always some confusion, so for like the first month or two I got hit with some they thems, but since then nothing. Currently 3 months on t, haven't been misgendered at all in maybe the last 6 months, so I'm really frustrated about the sudden switch up.

I know she knows I'm male because she has refered to me as a boy multiple times. She said she didn't want me or the other male volunteers touching the bras, she assumed I don't know what leggings are, or what the difference between a dress and a skirt is, so I was pretty sure I was being stealth. I dunno, I'm pretty bummed about the whole thing. I can't really think of why she'd write me as they them in the letter. Some theories I came up with that I know are definitely not true are A. She saw how woke the thing I was applying for is and decided it might help me out to be they them, or B. That's just how she refers to everyone in writing.

To post something positive for once, I actually am very happy there is actual progress in research that might point to me being different from cis women on a biological level. Usually I get very dysphoric about not being "fully male", but it is something I can live with if I'm also not a woman. There are still some things that I wish I knew, like why do we feel gender dysphoria and how does that connect with us being trans, but I'm overall pretty optimistic about everything right now.

I've been trans for the most part of three years, there's been times where I've been in denial and there's been times where I feel so hopless and like I was going to combust If I didn't cut my hair and start T right the very second. I expereince gender dysphoria constantly and for some reason I still won't help myself. Im way to scared of peoples opinions of me, essepcialy at my cadet unit. When I'm 16 I want to transition as thats the closest time my Mum will let me do it but I don't want to chicken out. I don't exactly know what to do as I'm comfortable with coming out to everyone BUT certain people/groups I genuinly enjoy being with. I just wanna be happy with myself.

I'll update yall soon because I'm asking my Mum in 2-3 days to get a gender dyphoria diagnosis, wish me luck.

criteria: must start with K and must be a men’s name
preferably ends in N but that’s not a necessity

been going by Killian which I really enjoy but my dad isn’t super on board (tbh he isn’t super on board with the whole trans thing either but supportive of me as a person if that makes sense)

I'm fuckin just feeling like giving up cause I'll be frank, I'm a freak that literally just wants as big as tits as possible. It makes it feel comfortable and like I can pass without worry. I would wanna be a z cup If I could afford surgery. I am otherwise happy with transitioning and everything but if I ever express these feelings outside a select group of friends (especially online.) I get treated like im some fucking insane person who isn't actually trans because I don't wanna just be happy with a set of b cups hrt has given me. Like it's been 4 years at this point they may still get a bit bigger but I want to be ungodly massive.

And like I know it's weird but why should it matter for anyone else, why must I not be treated as actually trans cause I want this for just myself. Irregardless I'm just expecting to be told I'm not a real trans woman here as well, cause I don't wanna be a soft uwu puppy girl, and actually have spent time exploring my identity even if it is fucking weird.

Not sure if this is the right subreddit to post this in… I’m probably gonna get a ton of people calling me a trender - even though I have dysphoria, have lived as a man for 6 years and feel like ripping my skin off when someone calls me she.

But I knew I couldn’t post this into one of the major trans subreddits because they would just be like “noo you can totally be a trans man and have your tits out!”

So just like the title says, sometimes I enjoy cosplaying as female characters and I feel like a trender because of it.

I hate wearing feminine clothing in ANY OTHER context, but for some reason, when I’m cosplaying a female character, it doesn’t bother me that much sometimes. Like would I ever wear the cosplay out in public? No, but it doesn’t bother me when I’m just sitting by myself in my room cosplaying a girl. I would never cosplay a girl who like, has her boobs out or anything lol, that would make me way too dysphoric, but if it’s just a girl character who has everything covered it, sitting alone in my room where no one can see me, cosplaying a girl sometimes doesn’t bother me much. Do I sound insane?

I don’t consider myself a “femboy.” I don’t like the term because trans larpers have kind of overtaken it, and I just don’t like how fetishy the word sounds in the context it’s often used in. I just think of myself as a guy who sometimes likes to wear cosplays of female characters he likes.

But I feel so weird for saying that. Like I’d never wear “female” clothes if it wasn’t for a cosplay, but for some reason when I’m cosplaying it really doesn’t bother me, maybe because I’m literally dressing as someone else. I don’t know if that makes sense or if I just sound crazy :/

Very short rant, and I hope some will find it relatable.

Context: I'm a ftm and pre‐t, that does not dress feminine whatsoever. But unfortunately, I'm too short for the average cis male height (am about 5'6"), which is one of my biggest insecurities, + also am not very muscular either.

But oh. my. god. That does NOT mean you can call me a femboy. Words cannot describe how much I resent it. A close friend of mine keeps calling me a femboy jokingly, even though I keep telling them to stop. What makes it worse? When this occurred again recently, we were outside together and met up with some of their friends, whom I hadn't met before. The first thing I hear from one of them? "Oh, you brought over a femboy." Are we deadass? Can we PLEASE stop normalizing this?

I am so fucking sick of other trans people I’m just so fucking tired bro. Everyone I meet that’s trans is just someone larping and I fucking know it and you can TELL they know it too, that this is all just an uwu self expression game to them that one day before they become a Real Adult™️ they’re gonna give it all up and be like “the trans community convinced me I was trans” and be on some detransitioner bullshit, when they were NEVER trans. They were doing self expression and prematurely applied the label of being trans to themselves and now not only did they fuck up public perception of us but also gave transphobes ammo against us.

Like bro I’m just trying to LIVE without some fuckass 19yo screaming at the top of their lungs about how they’re a “cloud self” and we must respect their made up uwu unique quirky pronouns otherwise we’re a Big Bad Transphobe™️ 🫩

It feels like a fucking mockery, like being slapped in the fucking face for them to turn my REAL, excruciating, devastating existence as a trans person into some caricature version that they’re gonna use and toss to the side when they’ve had their fill of “I’m so unique and quirky” attention

…. Okay. Rant over. Thank you.