I’m working on a feature film in the costume department and I’m currently trying to find a similar pattern to this costume from Logan’s Run (1976). The blog I found these photos on referred to this costume as a “riff on a surgeons tunic”, but after more research, that doesn’t seem quite right either.
Help!!
My episodes are usually pretty short, maybe a day or two of severe depression and dissociation after a trigger followed by a day or two of lethargy as I recover. I’ve found that during the episodes and the aftershock, I almost feel like a different person. My partner will hug me or kiss me on the forehead and it will make me incredibly uncomfortable so I’ll pull away or freeze up until he pulls away. I’ve narrowed this down to maybe being a sort of regression to my inner child and her emotional “tool-box”, or lack thereof.
He is SO incredibly supportive, even when I hurt him by going cold out of nowhere and then refusing to talk about it for days (because usually I physically cannot bring myself to get any words out about how I’m feeling). He’ll say things like “I’m right here, you’re safe,” but in the midst of these dissociative episodes it means almost nothing. It’s like all of our wonderful communication skills and love for each other go out the window. I feel like a blank slate and he feels like a stranger.
I am so tired of hurting my partner and feeling trapped in my own body for days on end. I’m in talk therapy and we’re in couples therapy, but I’m seeking a different therapist right now as all mine seems to do is reference Al-Anon and the 12 Steps which makes it hard to go deeper into the trauma or trauma responses.
Can anyone relate to this experience? It’s awful feeling like the closest person in your life is a stranger while you’re in the depths of despair. Especially when they seem to be doing everything they can to support you. The worst part is, during an episode, I don’t even WANT the support. My brain tells me over and over again that nobody will ever understand and it’s a waste of energy to explain how I’m feeling.
UGH!! Sorry all. Turned into a bit of a vent as well!