u/AirportDisco

I, 2.5 year old biggest boy, was just posted about by my mom (ancient) in answer to an Askreddit question. Why is she complaining about me? She (and my dad, also ancient) seem to disapprove of how I choose to sit on my own chair. Whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner, I will sit how I want to. And how I want to sit is by precariously using 10% of the chair, with one butt cheek on and one butt cheek off. My parents say things like “You are about to fall” “Sit in the middle! Skooch your bootie!” “If you won’t listen to us we might have to break out the high chair again even though you’re a big boy!” I hear what they’re saying, and I try so hard. But then 10 seconds pass and I can’t stand it anymore, I must go back to what is comfortable to me. And sure, I fall off multiple times a week and get sad about it, but why would that prevent me from doing what I want to do? This is basically a humans rights issue.

I grew up loving this show, yet as a child I didn’t comprehend all the lyrics of the opening song. Fast forward to present time. My kids love the show now and last night my husband and I looked up the lyrics because we didn’t remember them all, and we’re shook that one of the lines is “spank a plankton too”. Did you all know this? What does it mean? How does one spank a plankton? Even when being shrunk to plankton size, how and why would anyone want to spank a plankton?

My tastes are maybe stuck in 2017 but it feels like every restaurant/bar I fell in love with is gone

*with the exception of Octapas. Please stay forever (in my humble opinion, your mileage may vary) *and also Ilk Lodge but I digress. Both are post-2017 establishments

*I also miss New Moon. Such good biscuits & gravy

Here is my original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/MiniAITA/s/RBtgYMPUPw

Me, 2.5 years old big boy, sister seems to think she’s starting kindergarten this fall, I don’t even want to guess how old my parents are.
It’s 2 months later since my last post and my parents STILL do not understand me. This morning, I was walking down the stairs with my Mama and Dada and big sister and I spotted a BALL behind the recycling can. I pointed it out to everyone as I was descending the stairs because I was so excited to see my favorite thing (ball). My big sister got down the stairs first, grabbed the ball, and tried to hand it to me. I refused, so she threw the ball for me to go get it. I ran after it and screamed in utter despair because no one knew the turmoil I was experiencing. I grabbed the ball and put it right back behind the recycling bin so that *I* could be the one to pick up the ball. Mama and Dada and big sister laughed at me and I don’t know why