u/Alert_Usual1197

Just a rant.

Why is it that MILs think their grandkids only ever look like their side?

Went to dinner with the in-laws today and my husband showed them a 3D video of our baby smiling. We started talking about some features and everything that was brought up was some how never because of me. LOL. I honestly laughed.

Oh, he has hair? Definitely DH. Oh, he has long lashes? So did DH. Oh, his head and belly measuring large? DH (although this one is probably true)

The best one: legs measuring shorter? Definitely has to be from his first cousin's once removed. I just looked at my husband and kinda laughed. She said it twice. Finally, my FIL brought up how thats another side of family and has very little DNA connection.

Nothing was related to me or my side. Man, I am not prepared for the comments for when he is here.

Rant over. Anyone else dealt with this? I feel like so many women get this. Not just with their MILs but in general.

I am currently 7months pregnant and due in September. Since the beginning my JNMIL has made it seem like she could care less. Mind you, her and FIL turn 75 this year and this is their first and only grandchild. They have one son, my husband.

From the time we told them about baby she had very little reaction. When she found out it was a boy, she made comments such as, "oh, everyone is having a boy" and "girls are more helpful"...she never asks about doctor updates or how I am doing. Ect ect. List goes on.

I started creating my registry back in March for my shower in July ( this past Saturday). After finding out my father and some friends had helped us out with some stuff for the nursery and clothes. She went ahead a bought the $220 carseat off the registry. This was a whole thing. Had to say thank you several times. She also mentioned, yes and now I won't have to carry anything to your shower. OK. Cool..

Fast forward, my shower is getting closer and she still has not offered to help with anything. Mind you, she was all about my bridal shower and ruining that with coordinating shirts only for my husbands side...its a whole other story.

Anywayyy, my shower comes. HER sister has made cupcakes, her niece has made cakes, my mom brought the prizes, my bonus mom brought champagne, my closest friends did decorations/food/hosted, but my MIL? Nothing. Nada. Funny bc I just helped while set up for her anniversary party whole 6 months pregnant.

I asked everyone to bring a book with writing in it for my son instead of a card. She couldn't even do that. She did offer to have me ride with her, not that I would have, but hilarious bc she ended up getting buzzed off the champagne. Came in the kitchen asking where it was once she found out my bonus mom brought some...she's the type of person who blames her Catholicism for her drinking.

She did do ONE thing and this is where I might be an ass. My friend who hosted gave her the job to pass out the envelopes for names and addresses to make thank yous easier on me. She apparently wasn't the happiest about having to do this simple job, but whatever. Well, today at work I was thinking about all of this, and thought to myself did she fill one out? If she did, I was going to laugh, but sure enough she did.

Wtf do I thank this woman for? For blowing her champagne breath in my face at the end? Telling me how "we are so excited" right before leaving a shower you contributed nothing to..She doesn't even say babies name (we've had picked out since Feb) and can't even call me DIL when referring to me. Its always "husbands name and wife". Maybe my hormones are getting to me, but this woman is getting on my last nerve.

Oh one last thing that got to me just a few weeks ago. She picked a frame out from a garage sale that said "i love gma" and asked to fill it for her bday in Oct. That frame is going in the trash. Why would baby love you, when you dont act like you love him, or his mother? NARCISSIST.

ok. Thank you for the rant if you read it all. But back to the point. Would you write a thank you note to her?

Just need to vent because its late and this is stuck on my mind. I'm due in September. My MIL has been weird this whole pregnancy. We aren't necessarily close (she ruined that a few years back), but I would think she would have asked more about everything this entire time. Not once has she asked how I'm feeling or anything like that. When we told them it was a boy she just said, "oh everyone is having boys" and "girls are more helpful"

I've been brushing this off for awhile, but recently something happened that just annoyed me. We were at a garage sale and she found a frame that says "i love Grandma" and made a joke about giving it to her for her birthday (Oct) with pic of baby. She ended up grabbing it and putting it in our stuff. Which Im whatever about...but its just weird to me, acting like she gaf now.

My shower is next Saturday. She never offered to help with it or bring food. Her sisters are both contributing (without me asking) just makes me laugh. Her and my FIL recently had their 50th anniversary party. My husband and I were both shocked (well mainly him) to learn a lot of their very close friends didnt even know I was pregnant. Including a church friend that just went on a 14 day trip with them. She said "I was so shocked MIL never brought it up or told anyone". Yeah, not me. She is the type that LOVES to be center of attention and I think this baby is freaking her out. My husband is an only child. Not sure she truly wanted kids. FIL is a whole different story, and I love him!

Ive been getting the ick around her and the thought of her holding my baby makes me sick. Im really hoping it goes away once baby is here. But for now Im dreading at the idea of her wanting to interact with my son. I swear I'll snap if they visit in hospital and she doesn't ask a single thing about how Im doing and only focuses on baby.

Ok, thanks for listening to my rant..