u/Alternative_Vast_823

I am the complete opposite of a trad wife. I'm very single, have an education, am a stubborn feminist, very independent, and love having my freedoms, and am chasing the career of my dreams. I'm about to be 24 years old. I don't even necessarily know if I want kids one day...but for whatever reason I find myself obsessing over traditional content both with online influencers and people I know. I'm always watching them cook things from scratch, always talking about their kids, always watching pregnancy videos, always obsessing over marriage and proposals. I get like upset and jealous over it. I'm not real sure why. In my own life my goals are to travel the world and follow my career dreams that I've wanted since 7...so why do I find this stuff so emotionally taxing? I feel like behind and like I'm not good enough because I don't have 4 kids running around and a husband...even though I as myself know I would not enjoy that life. Like realistically it is not something I want. I don't enjoy babies at all in real life. I never wanted kids in my 20s even as a teen. But I find myself fantasizing about this stuff. Is it like the societal expectations getting to me maybe? I mean damn, maybe I'm just lonely or something I don't know. But I guess a Woman who gets pregnant seems to be much more celebrated in society than a Woman uprooting her life and moving to Europe. I think I crave that feeling sometimes. Maybe the cultural acceptance, normalcy, & belonging of it all.

No pm's. Only reason I did was because #1. Guys never liked me in school & #2. That's what society tells a girl is the right thing to do. The problem is now I don't even think I really want a relationship. I hate the apps, and I'm now at this point in life where I am an avid fan of being single and love my freedom. But at the same time I have this great desire for a relationship....not because of the relationship but because I want to have sex. But sometimes I wonder if I'd like a relationship but I'm just so jaded to being alone that I'm not sure. So I'm in a position where I don't know what the hell to do. I'm about to be 24 and I feel stuck. And it's too late to just go on the internet with a stranger and "get it over with" is the feeling I get sometimes....but at the same time I don't freaking know what to do because I also want to have sex!!!

It said it was for a short film on the breakdown, not a vertical. There was no mention of vertical in the onboarding process or anything. I'm playing a small part. I just never really wanted to do a vertical because I'm worried about it hurting my career. A little unsure about this. On set now just finding out.