u/Althaeathereligion

…and i don’t know what to do.

I’ve been dating the same person for over 9 years now. It’s been mostly good with ups and downs here and there. We met in high school through mutual friends and still play dnd together to this day.

Since high school we haven’t really ever lived near each other. I’ve moved a bunch while living with my mom. I could have possibly moved out but my dad died and I’ve stuck around to help raise my mom’s foster kids. This has made it difficult, along with her working second shift, for us to make time to spend together. I’ve made an effort to do so but feel like she hasn’t done the same.

We’re growing apart as well. Interests are diverging and we struggle to talk to each other about our own interests. Now when we’re together I don’t know how I feel anymore. I don’t know what to do to help me fall in love with her again or if I need to walk away from them and be done with it.

I’ve(26m) been dating my high school sweetheart(28f) since December 10th of 2016. We play dnd together and have been through plenty of ups and downs together. We still like sharing restaurants and shows with each other(each date we take a turn watching the other’s show until we finish, then pick a new one) but we’ve been growing apart recently.

I know that’s not particular so let me explain. In high school we basically did the same stuff, listened to similar music, hung out with the same people, pretty much everything. Only thing different between us was that she painted and I was in the marching band. After we both graduated she went to college and I moved with my family and helped my mom start over with foster kids.

The distance was/is difficult. I’ve always lived at least a quarter of a county a way from her no matter where i moved. We’ve struggled with staying connected and spending time with each other with me being far away and her working second shift. About two years ago I had two separate (now former) friends hit on my girlfriend in front of me, of which obviously me and her stopped being around them.

I realized I had a jealousy problem around then and got into some therapy for it. I’m better now thankfully, but I’ve realized we’re growing apart despite our relative closeness again. Both our parents are encouraging of us having kids and me and her both agreed not until we move in together for at least a year, but that’s not happening anytime soon. We’re both relatively stuck where we are for various reasons and so we make time to spend time together…

Which doesn’t always work out. We basically having weekends to ourselves but life being life we struggle to keep making time for ourselves. Outside of still playing dnd twice a month(which is with other people) we’re lucky to get one date together in a month. Despite my asking she’s shown no interest in just being around me doing normal life stuff, I’ve even offered to bring her breakfast in the morning before she has to leave for work.

We text less and less. “Good mornings, good nights, I hope work went well, how are the kids doing today?”, it’s become repetitive and I don’t mind that but it’s been years. I want to take more steps to be together but we always end up doing what we always have been doing for at least 4 years now. I feel like I’m not interested anymore, and I don’t know if I’ve fallen out of love or not with her.

I don’t know what to do and where to go from here.

I’ve been playing a number of different FF games, 9, 6, 5, 13, and I got interested in playing FF12. It was on sale so I bought it and downloaded it. I know very little about this game outside of some preliminary explanations about the gambit system(which is something I’m very interested in working with).

Without spoiling anything for me, does anyone have any recommendations or tips and tricks for the beginning of this game?