u/Ambitious-Advisor331

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some guidance and perspective, especially from those who are trying to pursue Christ-centered relationships. As a woman (33F), I’ve struggled with sexual immorality for most of my life. I was exposed to sexual content and began experimenting at a young age, and it’s been something I’ve had to wrestle with ever since. Because of that, this part of my story carries a lot of shame, and only a couple people in my life know about it.

One of the ways this has affected me is in how I relate to men. I’ve never been in a God-centered romantic relationship, and I honestly find it difficult to even develop a healthy crush. My thoughts can quickly become impure, and I sometimes use fantasies as a form of escape or comfort. At the same time, I struggle with feeling like men only see me as a body and don’t stay long-term, which has been painful and confusing. I’m really trying to practice self control and honor God with my mind and heart, but I have a lot of questions about how to navigate dating in a healthy, Christ-centered way:

- At what point in a relationship is it appropriate to share about your past/current struggles with sexual sin?
- How and when should couples talk about sex in a way that is honest but still honoring to God?
- Is discussing things like expectations or preferences something that should wait until engagement?
- What happens if two people have different pasts or comfort levels when it comes to sex?
- And how do you have these conversations without it becoming a stumbling block, especially if you’re trying to guard your mind and avoid falling back into unhealthy thought patterns?

I want to do things differently moving forward, but I also don’t want to avoid important conversations out of fear. I’d really appreciate any wisdom, advice,
or personal experiences you’re willing to share. Thank you.

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some guidance and perspective, especially from those who are trying to pursue Christ-centered relationships. As a woman (33F), I’ve struggled with sexual immorality for most of my life. I was exposed to sexual content and began experimenting at a young age, and it’s been something I’ve had to wrestle with ever since. Because of that, this part of my story carries a lot of shame, and only a couple people in my life know about it.

One of the ways this has affected me is in how I relate to men. I’ve never been in a God-centered romantic relationship, and I honestly find it difficult to even develop a healthy crush. My thoughts can quickly become impure, and I sometimes use fantasies as a form of escape or comfort. At the same time, I struggle with feeling like men only see me as a body and don’t stay long-term, which has been painful and confusing. I’m really trying to practice self control and honor God with my mind and heart, but I have a lot of questions about how to navigate dating in a healthy, Christ-centered way:

- At what point in a relationship is it appropriate to share about your past/current struggles with sexual sin?
- How and when should couples talk about sex in a way that is honest but still honoring to God?
- Is discussing things like expectations or preferences something that should wait until engagement?
- What happens if two people have different pasts or comfort levels when it comes to sex?
- And how do you have these conversations without it becoming a stumbling block, especially if you’re trying to guard your mind and avoid falling back into unhealthy thought patterns?

I want to do things differently moving forward, but I also don’t want to avoid important conversations out of fear.
I’d really appreciate any wisdom, advice,
or personal experiences you’re willing to share. Thank you.

I have pretty limited dating experience and I keep running into the same dilemma. I’ve never had a boyfriend and showing romantic interest in a natural way just doesn’t come easily to me. When I try to flirt (which I think I’m doing haha), it feels forced and completely unlike myself.
A guy once told me he didn’t think I was into him because I treated him like a bro 😭😭 so he assumed I wasn’t attracted to him at all. That stung because I know how to be friendly, but looking back, I probably wasn’t reciprocating his flirting the way he expected. I just didn’t know how. To make things more complicated, I’m not big on physical touch. I’m not a hugger, and I tend to tense up when people touch me unexpectedly. I do want a romantic partner, I’m just not comfortable explaining why I’m like this until there’s real trust built between us. Oversharing too soon doesn’t feel right either.
So I’m stuck trying to figure out how to show someone I’m interested without relying on the usual signals. It’s genuinely frustrating, and sometimes I wonder if this is part of why I get ghosted.

Has anyone dealt with something similar?

I’m trying to understand if my expectations are reasonable or if I’m overthinking things. For example, I don’t consider it ghosting if a conversation never gets past a simple hi, how are you? or if someone stops replying after just a couple of messages. That feels pretty normal in online dating. But if you’ve been talking for several days on the app, having consistent and meaningful conversation…even if you haven’t exchanged numbers or met in person yet and then the other person suddenly stops responding with no explanation, I tend to see that as ghosting.

I’m curious how others define it. Where do you draw the line?

I just can’t get over why end up so hurt about people not replying. Not to the point of crying or anything, but just more of a frustrated feeling.

I literally cannot stop thinking about this person‘s actions and them ghosting me. I know we’re not supposed to contact the dead lol but I feel like I just wanna know why he just stopped talking to me.

I know I should just pray for him and move on, but I’m just having severe internal conflict.

I realized a few months ago that I was using social media pretty heavily. Since then, I’ve left most platforms except Reddit and YouTube. But now I’ve started using those just as much—honestly, to the point where it feels kind of chronic. At night, I have to put on a long youtube video just to fall asleep.
It made me realize I haven’t really been letting myself sit alone with my thoughts. I’m always reaching for something to watch so I don’t have to think about what’s going on in my life right now…

I guess I just don’t really know how to be alone with my thoughts or how to deal with them. I’m always filling up space with music, podcast, social media, talking on the phone etc etc.

I’m not sure why this is being highlighted at this time of my life, but I want to learn how to be still before the Lord. Both figuratively and literally.

Although it’s happened several times before. I don’t know why this time around It just hurts a little bit deeper. Just when you think things will be different. The same thing keeps happening. It just makes me wonder what’s wrong with me. Am I not good enough?

It’s so crazy because we made plans and everything and no follow up at all. Replaying the conversations trying to see maybe I said something or did something.

People of God, if you find yourself losing interest in a sister or a brother in Christ, please do your due diligence and just let them know you don’t wanna talk to them anymore. Even if it was a brief conversation or exchange. People out here really losing hope.

I’m considering finally posting an intro here, but I’ve been a bit on the fence. Physical attraction matters to me. It’s not everything, but it’s usually what opens the door and sparks initial interest. From there, character, faith and compatibility are what actually sustain it.

Part of my hesitation is not really knowing who’s on the other side of the screen. For those of you who have posted your intro (with or without pictures) and received DMs:

- When do you usually ask to see what someone looks like pics or social media?

- Have you found yourself not being attracted to someone after talking for a bit? If so, how did you handle that respectfully?

Just trying to approach this wisely and hear what’s worked (or hasn’t) for others.

Thank you!

What did The Weeknd say? “I feel it coming.”  This lad im chatting with is transitioning into the afterlife lol.

I’ve been seeing many many sad posts about disappointment and ghosting. But yah know what? I appreciate a nice, gradual transition from someone who’s no longer interested. The ping pong of questions and vibes… then the dramatic slow-down… and finally, the flatline. Ghost. Casper.

Yah, it sucks, but bro/sis stop falling for the idea of a person. That’s why y’all be hurt hurt. Yah already fantasizing about marrying them, reLaXxxx. 

Me? I never want to stand in the way of another woman meeting her man. So I truly appreciate the men who gently prepare me for their exit. Godspeed.

Anyway, count yah blessings and steward yah singleness season well. And look to your Heavenly Father. You’ll be alright.

Edit: oh yah, and drink water cause some of y’all are dehydrated. Respectfully.

I’m curious how Christians should approach dating. I’ve always been someone who prefers talking to one person at a time, but I’ve been told not to put all my eggs in one basket. When I try talking to multiple people, I end up feeling a bit scattered. How do you balance that? I dunno sometime it feels dishonest. Maybe I’m a simp i dunno

Is it normal to talk to and romantically get to know multiple people at a time? Someone has to get the short end of the stick, right? Just looking for some insight.