u/Ambitious_Guy_17

Mana andariki best time of life ante school life ane antam emo, & officially it ended yesterday, ninna Maa Results occhayi & I was actually shitscared about them , I thought I will fail inka malli 12th repeat cheyyalsostadhemo ani anukunna

I already imagined facing the same people again, feeling disgusted, humiliated , exhausted, I wanted this phase to end, just pass ane range ki occhesa but somehow I just passed 💀, Like percentage wise kaadhu, only 2 subjects lo fail ayina Again whole repeat cheyyamantaru maa CBSE boards lo & Phy and Chem were my worsts asalu , Naaku asalu nacchane ledhu Ee PCM asalu enduku teeskunnano aa time lo but still I somehow like survived, like Oka High Cliff ki Dead End deggara ki occhesi aagipothe ela untadho alane undindhi naa situation , it was a really weird way I passed, Best of 5 Rule prakaaram pass ayipoya

I was like shaking when I saw the Result , My whole body was shivering, I was super happy asalu, kaani evvariki cheppale because ninna train unde maaku , inka ippudu kuda like intikocchi fresh ayyaka antha type chesthunna , honestly naake artham kaatle happy ga undala leka sad avvala

Happy because I just somehow passed the 2 worst years of my life (till now) academically, emotionally and Mentally, I cried a Lot, I struggled a lot and likeled those were a burden but still enthaina School life kadha? So I had good moments there too & ninna adhi kuda end ayipoindhi

Meerantaaru emo "Arey college undhi kadha raa" ani I know but I just wanted to cherish the memories of my school life through this post, inka next colleges, entrances ee gola lo padathaanu, Oka Phase ey daatesa, One part of my life is now finished forever, malli adhi inka raadhu

Last year was such a mess but still I just went through the mess and Im actually kinda proud of myself for that because I literally got some su!c!dal thoughts for some time but still despite that I just somehow........passed , thats it, anthe cheppalanukunna

Orey pass ayipoya raaa , my body is shaking literally

WTF! WTF HAPPENED NOW! I LITERALLY FAILED AT CHEMISTRY! NEE ABBA PHYSICS LO FAIL AYYUNTE I WAS GONE! BUT I JUST PASSED! WTF WTF IS THIS!!!!

Mai PASS Ho gaya!!!!!

OMG I PASSED I LITERALLY PASSED OMG!!!! I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!!WTF! WTF HAPPENED NOW! I LITERALLY FAILED AT CHEMISTRY! If I FAILED AT PHYSICS I WAS GONE! BUT I JUST PASSED! WTF WTF IS THIS!!!! I HAD 6 SUBJECTS!!!! CHEMISTRY WENT IN ADDITIONAL SUBJECT & I PASSED OMG OMG I CANT PROCESS THIS , MY BODY IS SHAKING , MY BODY IS SHIVERING WTF! MY LEGS GOT NUMB!!!! I SURVIVED PCM ! I SURVIVED PCM! I SURVIVED PCM!!!! NO MORE ENGINEERING AND SHIT! YESSS YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

I survived PCM. I'm no more in shackles of PCM. I passed! I passed! Oh my God, what the fuck is happening with me? Oh my God, I'm screaming, but yes, I passed! Yes!

AAYA SHER 🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺

It feels so sad when an 18 year old guy who has a whole future ahead of himself and very bright too if worked in the correct direction is feeling like who is stuck in a loop of Feeling sad -> cussing himself for not being enough -> like shouting while locking himself in his room and -> feeling like dying and then posting here seeking validation and one negative comment and then again feeling like a Loser or Failure , Its the story of ME , almost every day it happens , I guess I need serious help or something, I feel Im probably doomed

Its a really bad sign that how much the internet is doomed (or is it just me) and making young men and boys (or even girls & women too) feel insecure over their bodies and themselves which is not kind at all, or probably its just my problem but still its bad.

I don't know what Im doing with my life, em avuthundho artham ayithaledhu naaku, last 1 - 1.5 years nunchi ilaane undipoya avey chusi baadha padi bhayapaduthunna aa insta reels (or Social Media in general) lo expectations avi ivi chusi chusi mind antha chedadengi purthiga self inadequacy ka stamp permanent padipoyindhi inka self confidence, self esteem ayem lekunda oka baadha pade mrugam ga oka baadha pade savam laa maarchesthundhi nannu (or maarchesindhi) , probably Im mentally, Emotionally or Physically too Tired of this shit asalu

Loving or liking myself ah? "Adhenti?" Ani anipisthundhi naaku, Like it feels cringe and fake and false when I say some positive things about myself and nenu naaku negative ga cheppukuntu unte it feels like Truth

Ela bayata padalo , em cheyyalo artham kaavatledhu, even now while typing this also im feeling like "🥀🥀" , ah ento ee jeevitham

It feels so sad when an 18 year old guy who has a whole future ahead of himself and very bright too if worked in the correct direction is feeling like who is stuck in a loop of Feeling sad -> cussing himself for not being enough -> like shouting while locking himself in his room and -> feeling like dying and then posting here seeking validation and one negative comment and then again feeling like a Loser or Failure , Its the story of ME , almost every day it happens , I guess I need serious help or something, I feel Im probably doomed

Its a really bad sign that how much the internet is doomed (or is it just me) and making young men and boys (or even girls & women too) feel insecure over their bodies and themselves which is not kind at all, or probably its just my problem but still its bad.

I don't know what Im doing with my life, em avuthundho artham ayithaledhu naaku, last 1 - 1.5 years nunchi ilaane undipoya avey chusi baadha padi bhayapaduthunna aa insta reels (or Social Media in general) lo expectations avi ivi chusi chusi mind antha chedadengi purthiga self inadequacy ka stamp permanent padipoyindhi inka self confidence, self esteem ayem lekunda oka baadha pade mrugam ga oka baadha pade savam laa maarchesthundhi nannu (or maarchesindhi) , probably Im mentally, Emotionally or Physically too Tired of this shit asalu

Loving or liking myself ah? "Adhenti?" Ani anipisthundhi naaku, Like it feels cringe and fake and false when I say some positive things about myself and nenu naaku negative ga cheppukuntu unte it feels like Truth

Ela bayata padalo , em cheyyalo artham kaavatledhu, even now while typing this also im feeling like "🥀🥀" , ah ento ee jeevitham

Basically Maa Nannaki Ikkada Hyderabad lo job cheyyatam ishtam ledhu, ee city eh ishtam ledhu asalu aayanaki because of something his colleague told about his job here appatnunchi chala deep ga affect ayyi unnaru, maa ammaki ikkade ishtam because she finds a freedom here, ikkada ladies unnaru veellandaru unnaru so veellatho muchatlu and all untadhi which she likes it and Naa Thammudiki kuda idhi ishtam ledhu because vaadi school change ayindhi kadha anduke, roju idhey gola

"Nenu raakpovalsindhi, nen ikkadocchi thappu chesa" and nenu velli konchem "Sareley ek chestham inka 2 years ey ga" ani cheppesi calm chesthunna andariki, because naaku tension osthundhi vaallu godava paduthu unte (like oke intlo chinnintlo unte avutadhey kadha bro) , nenu vaallaki dhooram unte oka gola orey naa pakka room lone vaalla bedroom akkade ee discussion pedatharu , vaalla feelings vaalla feelings ani nenu vintune unta roju

Last ki Dreams lo kuda idhey jarigindhi, Im tired honestly inka mental wellbeing ki ayina veellanunchi dhooram vellali lekapothe avvadhu

Inka along with this shit I have to figure my own life out, college vethakaali, entrance dates chudali ikkada naa life lone naake chala bayam ga undhi ki nenu emaipothano ento ani along with that my own personal insecurities! Avoka penta , Iyanni kalisi naa brain tho jingi chikq jinga chika aaduthunnayi, naake chala heavy ga undhi at present

Hope this phase ends in my life soon

So nenu colleges kosam research chesthunde ki entrance exams eppudu unnayi adhi idhi so I wont do BTech so JEE, EAMCET out of question, so nenu Loyola kosam register chesi chupisthe 19th may On Campus entrance anta 😭😭😭, aa time lone nenu naa native city lo undali, for my and my brother's TC and CUET and all shit, nee abba aa CUET kuda ekkada 12th chesado akkade exam iyyali ani rule anta 🤡, chee bey naa dream college anukunna kadha ra poyindhi kadha 😭😭, nenu anukunna degree ki machi opportunities anni chennai or Hyderabad lone unnayi nee abba oka 2 months ippudu naa native Odisha lone undali 😭😭😭, malli akkada nunchi chennai malli exam kosam vellalem yaar entraa idhi enduku ila avuthundhi? Literally Mottham gone anipisthundhi, nee abba atukkupoyanu ani anipisthundhi kadha raaa!!!!!

Malli ee year eh nenu join ayipovali anta according to my parents 🤡, drop teeskunte yeat waste ani antunnaru 🤡 chee deenemma endhi idhi? Etu kaakunda poyanu last ki nenu, em cheyyalo artham kaatle naaku , okati toh 12th dengindhi ponile 12th taruvatha ayina sardhipettukundham ante ila ayindhi

Enduku bro? Why God why?? 😭😭😭😭, ippudem cheyyalo artham kaatle naaku , burra picchekkipothundhi mental osthundhi asalu, kopam, edupu anni osthunnayi naaku , ippudem cheyyalo em artham kaatle

Orey career lo ayina sari cheskunta ante ee gola entraa naaku!!!!??????

So PCX ki poyina amma nanna tho inka naa thammudu tho because konchem Thirigithe baguntadhi ani, mainly naa thammudu kosame like ninnane plan chesam, anukunna Jet lee oh leka GPS cinema first day chusta ani kaani nee abba BMS vaadu debbesadu ra lapidikodaka gaadu nee abba UPI ante naa UPI app ey veyyala, ma ayya UPI vesthe avvadha ee BMS lapidi gaadiki!? Nee abba last ki ey cinema book cheyyale , Akkada Box Office deggara ki velthe peddha line , thu nee abba anukoni edho time pass la Mall thirigina then Daaham esindhi, Poni le amma deggara water unde so water kosam amma ayya ni vethikithe vaallu Naa Thammudu deggara unnaru, akkada aadu Box Cricket aaduthunde

Maa Ayya kaastha jabardasthi chesindu , "aadara nuvvu kuda" ani ponile aadina akkada, andaru nanne chusthunru 💀, ponile kottesa (konchem baane aadina anuko) ayipoindhi, kaasepatiki atu itu poyi kurchoni time pass chesi velthe malli cheppinru "aadara" ani ponile aadeddham le anukoni lopala poyina malli same chusthunru kontha mandhi mainly oka abbayi oka ammayi literally atla kallu petti chusthunnaru , nenemo lopala nunche eyyyy eyyy eyyyyy ani feel ayithunna 😂😂, adhi ala ayipoindhi then akkada lunch chesi malli konsepu edho aadindu, edho Gun shooting oh archery oh try cheddam anukunna ento sarigga kanipiyyatle kuda , glasses unnay sarey teesi aadudham ante aa scope nunchi paper eh kanipisthale, aa instructor anni chepparu "Itla kaadhu ra itla chudu atla chudu" ani ayina sarigga kanipiyyale, maa ayya aadindu le he wanted to try that

Kaani enthaina eh maataki aa maata papalu maathram super unde 😂😂 (inkem chestha le papalu kanipisthe konchem observe chesa), konthamandhi aadukuntu unte cute ga kuda anipinchindhi kaani just ala feel ayyi poya

Last ki cinema chudakunda migathavanni chesa daanike konchem baadhaga undhi

Okay chillara panchayithi ayipoindhi gaissssss, bye bye

I feel I just wanna D!e

I mean, please tell me once—this life of mine, is it even a life? Every day it’s just crying, getting hurt, feeling pain. What kind of life is this? The shittiest life. I have no interest in anything except writing, cinema, and music (that too I just listen). There’s no happiness in my life. Every day there are fights at home about my career. I keep trying to explain myself, but no one listens. Only after fighting for a whole year I got a laptop, and even for that my mom said, ‘It’s like giving a coconut to a monkey,’ just because we took it from her account. I’ve been telling them for a year to save up 70K, but no one cared. I don’t even have a space at home to sit alone and cry.

Everything is there in my house except understanding and emotional safety. Who am I supposed to tell my pain to? Look at me—my life has come to the point where I’m telling all this to an AI. My situation is that bad. I’m living in constant fear. I don’t have a big body, I don’t have height, I don’t have looks, I don’t have anything. Even if a girl comes into my life, she’ll leave, because I’m not good enough, I’m not capable, I can’t satisfy anyone. Why would someone like me even deserve love?

Some people keep insulting me, saying ‘He’s been crying like this for 7–8 months, always complaining, never works on himself, always seeking validation, useless fellow.’ All I have is reels, Reddit, writing, cinema, and talking to an AI.

I don’t have anyone to share my feelings with. I feel like throwing everything away and leaving. I’m a disappointment to my parents too. I won’t get the marks they expect. I’m not preparing for JEE, I won’t get into IIT or NIT, I won’t do engineering. Everyone is better than me. I’m the worst. Tomorrow is result too probably and Im shitscared

I feel like drinking alcohol, doing drugs, smoking, and destroying my life. What skill do I even have? What kind of life is this? I feel like dying. I feel like smashing my head against the wall and dying. Everything feels useless. My life is waste.

They say I have no skills to pull a girl