u/AnalysisSea4270

Does anyone have any civil rights or criminal law attorney recommendations? Not billboard attorneys please. Looking for boutique style firm.

But I’m also not losing faith. Our team likes to play the underdog. That’s when we thrive so whatever is needed for us to get out of this hole. I still believe!!!!
We have too!!! Good vibes only.

I’m in my early thirties, I met and fell completely in love with a great wonderful person and after a year of a winded romance relationship I broke up with them. I really thought this person was my soul mate even though I never believed in that. I had been in a serious relationship in my 20s and was single for a while. Just figuring myself out. Then I met them. They were seriously everything I ever dreamed of until they weren’t. They changed their mind/got confused about an absolute deal breaker of mine. I had to make the excruciating decision to walk away. They basically asked me for us to still be together and me be okay if we don’t have kids later…. That was a huge ask. Never expected bc we talked about that multiple times for the future.
It’s been so hard to accept. It’s been two months and I still have hope even though I really need to accept. I really thought and was relieved I was done dating I was so ready to spend the rest of my life with this person. And I can’t imagine me dating again, them being with someone else, us not having the life we talked about.
I don’t understand why things work out the way they do. But I keep telling myself I have to live in the present. Accept. Over and over.

But I’m only human and I hate this. I wish I had my person again. :( I think it sucks even more bc I’ve already been through a big breakup and I know how tough it’s gonna be to move on…. Only time will heal 💔

Hi everyone, I know if you’re here your day might be shitty. Someone asked about dealing with grief and I thought I would post it here.

Grief will come in waves and I recommend feeling all of it. The depression, the anger, the pain, the deep sadness, the frustration, the helplessness, the crying and sometimes the acceptance.

I have gone through two big breakups (currently going through one now). And from my experience I recommend feeling it all or you will be left with unresolved issues in your next relationship.

I am going to give some tough love your mama should have told you or has and you just don’t darn listen. So listen up or else 🩴🩴🩴
Also read carefully or read it twice.

The deep sadness and numbness might take weeks might take months. From my experience and from a logical sense the longer you were with that person the longer grief might take BUT for everyone it’s a different experience.

I see a lot of people posting “I want my ex back after 2 years” or “I can’t get over my ex it’s been five years” and I am not here to judge but this usually indicates there was still some contact, unhealthy behaviors that led to someone still not accepting or grieving the relationship.

If your breakup is fresh like three months or less you gotta feel it. Even when you don’t want to think about them, you feel like vomiting, you are in so much pain you are ugly crying all day with boogers out your nose or you absolutely hate the world. Lean into that, feel it that is part of your grief and your brain rewiring your routines and thoughts. It’s like when you get alcohol poisoning you either got to throw up or sweat it out. Distractions, filling your entire calendar, drinking, hooking up are not a way of healthy coping and grieving in this phase.

You gotta go completely no contact. I know it hurts like hell but you gotta do it. All social media blocked, any friend that is really their friend blocked. Any personal link (Unless you got kids) block them. If you don’t; you yourself Know you are being unhealthy and hella toxic. When people make many excuses to try to have that link to them they know it’s not what’s best in the long term.
Put everything that is a big reminder of them in a box (forget it for now). Send ALL pictures to your email and DELETE them All off your phone (yes and videos, don’t try to be sneaky with me). Every reminder will make your life hell if you keep it on your phone for easy access you will prolong detachment.

Your ex isn’t going no where. Bad news travels fast. If they are dating you will eventually find out, if something happens you will find out so there is no need to keep this person in your life for at least three months. If you are meant to be it will be. Nothing is that urgent that you need to contact them (unless you got kids).

Journal I repeat journal. Write everything everyday multiple times a day. Write them letters and letters Never send them (don’t be a creep this isn’t the Notebook).

All the crazy thoughts are normal believe me. You will have the craziest thoughts like she/he never ever cared, they abandoned me, I can’t live without them, they are gonna get this B pregnant, I wish I never met them, I’m in so much pain I wish I was never born, etc whatever those are normal. It’s part of the process. Cry it out and journal, talk about it!!!!! It’s the only way.

Lean on your friends and family! This is so important. I also did therapy and therapy groups, it helped. I mostly did it bc I felt bad for my friends they also needed a break from me.

Next phase is waves of grief with some acceptance. Start going on walks, get some sun, go to Home Depot, redecorate your room, get new towels, get new sheets get a new comforter, maybe get a new perfume/cologne and wear it for yourself. Start adding things to your day. Do at least one thing that makes you happy a day even if it’s drinking a coffee while watching your dog eat his treat. Whatever, start incorporating things you are grateful for and start speaking nice to yourself.

This is the part when you start to get angry and start to build your confidence back up. You’ll be like what??? I was so down I said I couldn’t live without them?? WtEfff I was perfectly fine before I met them! Bye thank you next! Bye bye muchacha(o)!
This is the stage where you will literally have like five good days in a row and you are like Damm I am so over them and then BAMMM you are super depressed for three straight days. Hello that’s Grief! This is normal!!

Also things happen. This is the stage where you start to socialize and your family is like OMg they showered today and look nice. So while you are out you might bump into your ex, you might hear about them dating whatever the case might be and then you will still process more grief and it will be unbearable but you will SURVIVE! I promise! You have coping mechanisms we talked about, journal, talk to your friends, go on a walk, punch a punching bag, cry, scream, take long deep BREATHs four times, meditate, do something to get that blood pressure down.

Then suddenly you will have an amazing idea, I am going to write them a final goodbye letter…. Or I am going to beg them to be with me. JK!!! not an amazing idea at all don’t do it.

Anyway, grief comes in waves. It takes time. Take care of yourself, you were put on this planet for a reason, remember that. A human is not going to take you down, the only person that can take you down is yourself. So if you are still stalking their socials, texting, sleeping with them (yea I see you in the back row), emailing them trying to get their attention this process will be prolonged and it will take way longer to get over this BUMP on the road. Believe me, we are living up to 100 years now! This too shall pass 🙏🏽 Amen

Hi everyone! I hope studying is going well. Ive seen so many posts regarding Themis. I wanted to jump in. I am a retaker from Feb 26. I did Themis and got a UBE 262, I need a 270 in my jurisdiction.

Themis is an ok tool if you use it efficiently. If you are STRUGGLING with Themis this post is for you.

If I knew then what I know now here are my suggestions (also by all means again don’t follow any of these if you are feeling good about Themis some pp love it).

—Good news, you are in advantage because you don’t have as many subjects to learn and practice as Febs bar.
—I would skip all the videos unless you never took the subject. Skip the fill in outlines and the mini questions after the videos. They are not useful at all for the MBEs. I would only recommend watching videos for subjects you never took in law school. The videos are just intros into subjects they are not detailed enough for the actual MBEs.
—Focus on the actual long Themis outlines. Break them down piece by piece. A lot of tutors use Themis outlines for students.
—Do MBEs as you are doing subsections. The only real way you are going to learn is by doing MBEs. I would do about 30 a day the first month, then up it to like 40 timed. But really figure out what you are not understanding. It doesn’t matter if you do 1000+ MBEs if you are not understanding what you’re doing wrong. Also sometimes you gotta cut your losses on some subjects (for me it was RAP). Don’t get discouraged if you are getting wrong answers, this is part of the process. It’s like going for a 10 mile run tomorrow, initially you’ll probably walk some, jog, maybe run, throw up, whatever but it’s going to feel very uncomfortable if your out of shape. But you won’t give up!
—I recommend skipping “PQ” (look at subject line for problem sets) MBEs problem sets. Those are AI generated. UWorld and NCBE has more than enough questions in the flex study. The Qs are good too.
—Do at least one MEE per day for now and up it to 2 per day. MEEs are a good way to practice subtopics you are uncomfortable with. Themis A answers are so unrealistic. Look at NYs bar website to see past MEEs thoseA answers those are the real deal. Also Themis graders are extremely harsh. I was so nervous bc I kept getting really low scores and on the actual test I got mostly 5s, 4s.
—whatever you are getting wrong Write it on a flash card or keep a log somewhere of what rules/questions you got wrong. This is a tried and true practice for learning and memorization.
—Use UWorld and NCBE questions to your advantage. Practice practice practice.
—Take at least one day off a week! Themis burns you out. Towards the end I was taking one day off and one half day off a week because I burned out.
—Read at least 1-2 MPTs a week! And actually do at least 4 MPTs before the exam.

I did very good on the MEEs and one MPT. But I bombed the other MPT and my MBEs were subpar in some subjects. I hate that I have to do this exam again but I did the best I could with the knowledge I had, limited time and tools I had.

Also someone mentioned I am a retaker in the comments. I missed the exam by a couple of points in my jx. I am not ashamed that, this is an extremely hard exam. These are suggestions I wish I would’ve had when I was struggling with Themis.

My approach this time is completely different. I won’t get into it. If you really need advice you can always DM.

Good luck to everyone and be kind to yourself! 🍀

Hello, does anyone know how this office is?

Hi everyone! I started GOAT bar prep and having done Themis before this is Better. 🙌🏽

It breaks down hard concepts that will actually be tested. Bc I never ever want to take this test again I am doing GOAT, UWorld (free from Themis as retaker), Claude AI to breakdown answers I don’t understand and I got a tutor (I’m only doing like 4 sessions on the hardest subjects for me).

I am first generation and was a first time taker in Feb 26.

I think I didn’t get a 270+ bc of a couple of things. I didn’t take Civ Pro 2, Property 2, Secured Transactions, Family law, Torts 2 in law school. So I was relying on Themis videos, YouTube and random stuff to teach me. But Themis videos + dumb fill in video outlines were a complete waste of time they are way too general to the bar, yet long. The MBEs are so specific!!!

I was also getting burned out with Themis. I was trying to get everything checked off without actually stepping back and learning. My last 5 weeks I completely stopped the program bc my MBEs were not getting better. I started actually reviewing my answers and starting to understand. If I wouldn’t have done that I would have gotten a lower score I Guarantee it.

Another reason was I scored high in my writing but messed up one MPT and that brought my score lower.

Test day is no joke!!! With what I know now I would do some things differently…

Some tutors recommend Themis outlines but they are soooooo boring and loooong. It’s also like they are not even in English sometimes. That’s why I like GOAT. I was doing property I questions yesterday and I looked back to Themis to check a concept and it was dull, short for some reason when that is a very important concept(weird). I am 100% sticking to 🐐.

On my first try friends and I started studying together for MEEs two hours on the weekends and they had BARBRi and had stopped using it bc they hated it. They ended purchasing Grossman videos, JD outlines and a bunch of other things. One even got a tutor. They passed in the Jx where we went to school which needs a 260 (I moved to 270 Jx).

This is my final “rant” for those of your starting prep and have commercial big box bar prep. Be kind to yourself and walk away from it if you need to. Burn out is a real thing. Understanding concepts and why you got qs wrong is more valuable than doing more more more. ✨

DM if you need anything and Good luck!!!