u/Ancient_Layer_779

I was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia, and one of the scariest things for me was realizing how much H. P. Lovecraft’s work influenced my psychotic episodes.

I’ve always been fascinated by cosmic horror. I spent years reading stories like The Dreams in the Witch House, The Dunwich Horror, and other tales from the Cthulhu Mythos. I loved that feeling of human insignificance in the face of something incomprehensible. I never imagined my mind would eventually start using those stories against me.

During one of my most intense psychotic episodes, I became convinced that something was waiting outside my bedroom door. I would stare into the darkness of the hallway and feel as if creatures from Lovecraft’s stories were about to walk into my room. Every little noise in the house made my heart race.

The voices in my head started blending paranoia with elements from the stories I consumed. I heard commands telling me to perform a ritual for Azathoth, as if there was some terrible purpose I needed to fulfill. At the time, it felt completely real.

I also went through periods where I felt like Keziah Mason was watching me from the dark corners of my room. I avoided turning off the lights because my mind connected every shadow to her presence. At other times, I believed Wilbur Whateley was coming for me and planning to kill me.

One moment that really stayed with me happened when I was walking down the street and saw a rat running near the sidewalk. My immediate thought was that it was Brown Jenkins. In that instant, my brain completely blurred the line between fiction and reality. I froze, convinced the animal meant something terrible.

Now that I’m medicated and more aware of what happened, I can see how my mind took elements of Lovecraftian horror and turned them into the language of my psychosis. It’s strange to realize that something which used to entertain me became raw material for my deepest fears.

I still love Lovecraft’s work, but I see those stories very differently now. For a while, cosmic horror stopped feeling like fiction to me, and that was terrifying.

I’m curious if anyone else here has ever had experiences where horror fiction influenced dreams, paranoia, or difficult periods in their lives.

While I hear voices, I sometimes interact with them. The situation gets so intense that I start making strange faces, and sometimes I catch people staring at me. How can I stop doing this?

Acordei de manhã com vozes gritando: "Eu sou Osíris, sou o deus que renasce, o sol que ilumina a terra." Isso tá gritando na minha cabeça. Meu pai ficou de comprar o meu remédio hj, mas ele me enviou uma mensagem dizendo que perdeu a receita. Tem algum risco de comprar sem receita ? Tenho uma foto dela.

Escutar vozes é como ter uma rádio ligada 24 horas na sua cabeça, falando coisa com coisa.

Voices telling me I’m Osiris, mentioning rituals and names, and commanding me to shout

I’m diagnosed with schizophrenia (my doctor said it’s mild), but since yesterday things have gotten worse.

I’ve been hearing voices constantly. At first they were saying random and disturbing things, even telling me to hurt people or do bizarre stuff. Then it shifted into something more “occult.”

Now the voices talk about rituals involving things like a sword and a mirror, and they mention specific names like Botis, Zepar, and Purson. It feels very intense and doesn’t make sense, but it keeps coming back.

At the same time, a voice is telling me that I am Osiris — that I’m the god who is reborn, the sun that illuminates the world. It feels very convincing even though I know it’s not real.

It also commands me to shout things like:

“I AM OSIRIS, I AM THE GOD WHO IS REBORN, THE SUN THAT ILLUMINATES THE EARTH.”

Sometimes I feel like I’m losing control and I’ve had urges to repeat or shout what the voices say. I’ve also had dissociation, moments where I feel disconnected from reality, and bursts of laughter at how absurd it all is.

I’ve been off my medication (olanzapine) for a while, which probably made this worse.

I know these voices aren’t real, but they feel very strong and intrusive. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Especially with voices mentioning specific names, rituals, or giving you a “grand identity” and commands?