u/AngleThat8380

**A quick disclaimer**
Psychology isn't my field and what I'm gonna say is only based off of my research and personal experience

With that out of the way, let me explain the exercise.

**Problem with existing techniques**
The goal of grounding exercises is to relate to reality in a way which is more realistic, but I feel like exercises like 5-4-3-2-1 isn't very flexible and doesn't do justice to how much a person can possibly feel grounded. Free form journaling is much more flexible but the only problem is that it makes the person much more prone to intellectualization.

**My exercise**
This is a journaling exercise where we write down what is bothering us right now and what are the consequences if the problem is not solved. If there are no consequences, then we'll realize that this wasn't a problem in the first place and we'll feel more grounded. For example, if I fail in a class, then why should I care if there are somehow no consequences. Finally we ask ourselves if we'd still care if these consequences don't apply. This means for example, what if I get a good enough job without passing those classes.
If you'd still care, then find out what are the other consequences you might be missing out. By this time tho, you'd feel much more grounded. However, If you won't care, then tell yourself, for example, "Failing the class isn't the problem but possibility of loosing a good job prospect in the future is the problem".
Then repeat the same exercise where now, the things that are bothering you are the consequences and not the original problem.

**Why I think this would work**
I feel like this exercise reduces the risk of intellectualization by ruling out every consequences that aren't actually relevant. Another benefit of this exercise is that the deeper you go, the more you'd discover what you actually value and truly care about.

**A quick disclaimer**
Psychology isn't my field and what I'm gonna say is only based off of my research and personal experience

With that out of the way, let me explain the exercise.

**Problem with existing techniques**
The goal of grounding exercises is to relate to reality in a way which is more realistic, but I feel like exercises like 5-4-3-2-1 isn't very flexible and doesn't do justice to how much a person can possibly feel grounded. Free form journaling is much more flexible but the only problem is that it makes the person much more prone to intellectualization.

**My exercise**
This is a journaling exercise where we write down what is bothering us right now and what are the consequences if the problem is not solved. If there are no consequences, then we'll realize that this wasn't a problem in the first place and we'll feel more grounded. For example, if I fail in a class, then why should I care if there are somehow no consequences. Finally we ask ourselves if we'd still care if these consequences don't apply. This means for example, what if I get a good enough job without passing those classes.
If you'd still care, then find out what are the other consequences you might be missing out. By this time tho, you'd feel much more grounded. However, If you won't care, then tell yourself, for example, "Failing the class isn't the problem but possibility of loosing a good job prospect in the future is the problem".
Then repeat the same exercise where now, the things that are bothering you are the consequences and not the original problem.

**Why I think this would work**
I feel like this exercise reduces the risk of intellectualization by ruling out every consequences that aren't actually relevant. Another benefit of this exercise is that the deeper you go, the more you'd discover what you actually value and truly care about.

It has not been easy to express my issue clearly in this post so do bear with me.

I'm a person who has a really good routine and is relatively very disciplined in daily life. I do everything that I should be doing instead of giving myself a chance to feel like I've wasted my day.

However, I feel like nothing that I do has anything to do with my values and instead has everything to do with whether I would get something out of it or not, or whether I would avoid something by doing it or not. This includes whether I would find it exciting, fun, enjoyable or whether I might achieve something by doing it. This also includes whether I would not have to feel unpleasant things by doing it. Because of this, I kinda started to feel empty and directionless. I actually have been trying to obsessively contemplate the best way to live my life for many days in order to feel good about myself and my actions (ironically, I'm very aware about feeling all sorts of feelings in order to live a healthy life), but now, I feel like my obsession of doing so was because there doesn't seem to be a sense of self that wants to do anything irrespective of how I'd feel.

A thoughtful advice would be appreciated.

tldr

Even though my routine is "productive",there is nothing in my life that I would want to do that would be regardless of how I'd feel. Everything I do is rooted in an anticipation of feeling good.

It has not been easy to express my issue clearly in this post so do bear with me.

I'm a person who has a really good routine and is relatively very disciplined in daily life. I do everything that I should be doing instead of giving myself a chance to feel like I've wasted my day.

However, I feel like nothing that I do has anything to do with my values and instead has everything to do with whether I would get something out of it or not, or whether I would avoid something by doing it or not. This includes whether I would find it exciting, fun, enjoyable or whether I might achieve something by doing it. This also includes whether I would not have to feel unpleasant things by doing it. Because of this, I kinda started to feel empty and directionless. I actually have been trying to obsessively contemplate the best way to live my life for many days in order to feel good about myself and my actions (ironically, I'm very aware about feeling all sorts of feelings in order to live a healthy life), but now, I feel like my obsession of doing so was because there doesn't seem to be a sense of self that wants to do anything irrespective of how I'd feel.

tldr

Even though my routine is "productive",there is nothing in my life that I would want to do that would be regardless of how I'd feel. Everything I do is rooted in an anticipation of feeling good.

Someone is saying Taoism is a philosophy that would solve my problems and give me enlightenment. Great! Let me try it out. It says that it is about following the dao. There doesn't seem to be a definition of it but I can definitely feel like there is something within me that is resonating with it. Now I can be tranquil and solve all my problems. Let me just find it. Oh wait, it says that I cannot find it. Letting go is the right path. Ohk, let me just try not to find it. Wait a minute, till an hour back I wasn't trying to find it, then how not doing so now help me attain the dao? All of this is a scam! They are just selling their courses without us getting anything! But there is still something withing me that resonates with this idea. I have to try harder. No, I cannot try harder! I shouldn't try harder. Ok, let me just try something. Ahhh, again I'm trying something! I'm such a looser! Now I'm calling myself the looser! Ok, here's the thing. I can't call myself a looser. I shouldn't try to define the dao. I shouldn't be thinking. I shouldn't try anything.

This is a problem that I think everyone faces. But I have something that could help you. I cannot say anything that would make you realize the dao, but I think it could help you develop the intuition. Do things that are not in accordance with the dao. This is because in reality, everything is in accordance with the dao. Try to define the dao. Call yourself a looser. Think all sorts of lewd and degenerate things. Try to achieve dao.

Good luck 😁