u/Annual_Salt8325

Please excuse: Used chatGPT since I’m bad at grammar.

I’m 26F, married for 2 years, and I’m currently back in India for around 18 days. i am born and brought up in Dubai, whereas my husband just came to Dubai 4 years back. I came a few days before my husband because I wanted to spend some time with my cousins. He’s arriving in 2 days, and once he comes, I’ll be staying with my in-laws for the remaining 14 days.

My in-laws are relatively young — FIL is 55M and MIL is 45F. My MIL is genuinely nice to me. My FIL is also generally nice and sweet when speaking to me, but I’ve recently started noticing some behaviour that makes me wonder if he has very traditional expectations of a daughter-in-law.

The day I landed, I went to their house with my family just to meet them. He kept asking me to stay with them instead of going home. I understand asking once as a gesture, but he repeatedly said things like, “Stay here” and “Your MIL will be happy if you stay.”
I told him that she would probably be even happier when my husband arrives and we can all spend time together, and then I left.

The thing that really bothered me happened with something as stupid as JUICE.
We were sitting in the veranda — me, my parents and my in-laws. My MIL was serving everyone juice. She gave me mine, so I started drinking it. My FIL hadn’t received his yet, and I noticed he was kind of side-eyeing me, almost as if waiting to see whether I would offer him mine.

I didn’t.

Then my MIL served him his juice, and he said something along the lines of, “Why did you bring it? She would have taken it, no?”

I was literally just sitting there peacefully drinking my juice 😭. I didn’t react. My MIL laughed it off.
After we finished, I took my glass to the kitchen. I didn’t take his because… why would I? He is a grown man and his glass was right there. But I could tell he noticed that too.

And this is what is making me anxious about staying there for 14 days.

It’s not just with me either. I’ve noticed that he does similar things with his kids.
For example, my SIL has two kids under 2 and is obviously struggling. Recently MIL was carrying one of the grandchildren and FIL kept saying, “Put her down, don’t carry her, don’t carry her.” I found myself thinking, why is he so concerned about whether she’s carrying the baby?

He also seems to notice who does what for whom and whether people offer things.

For example, immediately after our wedding, my husband, MIL and I were going out. I offered MIL the front seat, but she didn’t even wait to hear me and just got into the front seat herself. My FIL was standing on the veranda and I noticed him watching to see whether I would give up the front seat for her.
And honestly, I don’t mind doing these things.
If I genuinely want to offer my MIL the front seat, I will. If I’m going to the kitchen and someone happens to need something, I’ll help. I’m happy to be considerate.
What bothers me is the feeling that I’m being observed and evaluated to see whether I automatically do these things.

It makes me feel like I’m participating in some kind of sanskari bahu marathon.

He also seems to have this expectation that everyone will attend to him. He rarely gets up to get a glass of water or pick something up himself. It often feels like he sees himself as the king of the house and everyone else should anticipate what he needs.
Maybe I’m reading too much into it.

But I’m worried that as his daughter-in-law, I’m going to be expected to constantly anticipate his needs and behave in a very traditional “sanskari bahu” way.

And I really don’t want that.

I’m perfectly happy to be respectful, warm and helpful. I love my husband and I want a good relationship with his parents. But I don’t want to spend 14 days monitoring whether I took someone’s glass, offered something, stood up quickly enough, etc.

There was another thing too. When I called my FIL after getting into the car from the airport, he was actually very sweet and asked how I was. He also asked me to meet my BIL, who was studying nearby. I didn’t because my flight had already been delayed by 3 hours and I was absolutely exhausted. I had just landed and wanted to go home.

So now I’m wondering if I’m making this bigger than it is.

How would you deal with a FIL like this for 14 days?
Would you just be normally polite and ignore these little expectations, or would you make more of an effort to accommodate them?

I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful, but I also don’t want to suddenly become a hyper-attentive daughter-in-law whose job is to anticipate everyone’s needs.

Am I overthinking this?

I’m handling my company’s office lease from start to finish. viewings, negotiations, paperwork, and coordinating everything with the agent. It’s well beyond my normal job responsibilities, and I’m not receiving any overtime or extra compensation from my employer.
I was wondering if it’s common or even legal in Dubai for an employee representing their company to ask the real estate agent if they could share part of their commission as an incentive or referral fee.
Has anyone come across this before? Is it considered normal practice, or would it be viewed as unethical or a conflict of interest? I’d appreciate honest advice before I even think about bringing it up.

So for context, I’m doing all the work for an office rental. Can I ask the agent to consider me while giving the commission rates to the office so he can give me that amount? Is it legal. Or will I be embarassed if I do ask? I’m not paid anything for all the extra hours from my office.

‘I used ChatGPT to phrase my writing so please excuse’

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I guess I just need to vent because I’ve been feeling really heavy today.
I’m a 25F Indian with a Bachelor’s in Finance and a Master’s in International Business Management. I was job hunting and ended up getting an admin role at a financial consulting firm. I wasn’t disappointed because, honestly, Alhamdulillah, I was just grateful to have a job. I started on a temporary one-year contract and eventually got confirmed as a permanent employee.
Lately though, work has been draining me emotionally.
For the past 3–4 months, I’ve been handling our office relocation. I searched for and secured a new office unit just above our current one, which makes the move much easier since we’re retaining our existing units too. I coordinated with agents, negotiated, planned the office layout, and got almost everything ready. At this point, the only major thing left is signing the contract.
Now, the admin manager from our India head office is flying to Dubai at the company’s expense to “help” with the move.
The problem is… there isn’t really anything left to help with.
Someone who worked here before me actually warned me that this manager has a habit of coming in at the last minute, making others do the work, and then taking the credit. I tried not to believe it, but now it feels like I’m watching it happen.
I even spoke to my Managing Director and asked if they were unhappy with my performance because I genuinely couldn’t understand why someone needed to come from another country for a project I’ve been handling myself. He reassured me that they’re happy with my work and that she’s only coming to “assist.”
But I don’t need assistance. She has never worked in Dubai, doesn’t know the local processes, and I know I’ll probably end up doing all the actual work anyway.
I don’t know how to explain this to our COO without sounding like I’m attacking her personally or being insecure. I don’t hate her—I just don’t want months of hard work to be invisible.
Then something else happened today.
I have a friend in our Mumbai office whom I genuinely trusted. She suddenly called me in a panic asking me to recall an email I had sent in the first week of June. She kept saying, “Delete it now, we’ll get scolded.”
Without thinking, I was about to do it because I trusted her. But something in me said, “Ask why first.”
When I did, her explanation didn’t make sense. The points she mentioned weren’t even mistakes. I showed her the email trail and explained everything.
That’s when I realized what had actually happened.
She had forgotten to report my email to her senior, got questioned about it, and wanted me to recall the email so she could pretend it had never been sent and save herself.
That honestly hurt more than the office relocation situation.
I always thought she was a friend, but in that moment it felt like she was willing to put me at risk just to protect herself.
Today genuinely made me lose a lot of faith in people.
How do you trust people at work without becoming cynical? How do you stay kind and collaborative while also protecting yourself from being used?
I know workplaces are political, but I didn’t expect it to affect me this much. How do I convince my COO to not bring her to Dubai for this? He’s a friendly man but still I’m worried if it’ll feel like o have an issue with her.

Hi ladies!
I’m having a severe decision fatigue moment. My husband’s birthday is coming up in 2-3 days. I haven’t decided on a gift yet. For context: he’s a civil engineer. He has a good laptop. iPhone 17 pro. He has good shoes. Clothes. I’m so confused on what to give him as a gift. He mentioned he wanted an iPad for work but he wants his company to get him one also but that’s so expensive so I’m just worried if he’ll like it if I buy it for him. Also I was thinking in the budget of an iPad I can get plenty other things to make him happy. But what should I get. He told me he like things which he can use and he can carry in a good way. He recently just bough a perfume so that’s a no. What else! My brain is fried literally.

Hi, not sure if this is the right place to post this but anyways. I’ve been in a live in relationship. It’s his bday in 10 days. He’s the simplest man I’ve ever seen. He’s not into brands. Every branded perfume he’d find a dupe and only use that. I guess it’s super hard for him to get out of the middle class mentality that he grew up with. He has shoes and all other things which I got him. He’s a civil engineer. What can I gift him? Where can I take him on a date. I don’t think he’ll be very happy if I spent a lot on things but I really want to spoil him. I thought of getting an iPad since he mentioned all his colleagues take notes during meeting in an iPad and he’s the only one with a notebook. Should I get an iPad, if so which one? I see that iPads are hella expensive as well. Please help this sis out🥹 for context: we’re Indians. Date spots don’t have to be Indian, he loves food. But the food should be worth the money we spend there.

Hi, not sure if this is the right place to post this but anyways. I’ve been in a live in relationship. It’s his bday in 10 days. He’s the simplest man I’ve ever seen. He’s not into brands. Every branded perfume he’d find a dupe and only use that. I guess it’s super hard for him to get out of the middle class mentality that he grew up with. He has shoes and all other things which I got him. He’s a civil engineer. What can I gift him? Where can I take him on a date. I don’t think he’ll be very happy if I spent a lot on things but I really want to spoil him. I thought of getting an iPad since he mentioned all his colleagues take notes during meeting in an iPad and he’s the only one with a notebook. Should I get an iPad, if so which one? I see that iPads are hella expensive as well. Please help this sis out🥹

I’m 26F and have been married for 2 years.
My husband grew up in a very frugal family. During our one-year engagement, he never bought me flowers or gifts unless I specifically asked. For example, I had to ask why he didn’t get me clothes for Eid, and he genuinely said he didn’t think it was something he was supposed to do. I also had to ask for flowers, and even now he still believes flowers are a waste of money, although he does surprise me with them occasionally.
The first year of our marriage was difficult because I felt like I had to teach him that I have expectations too. Thankfully, he’s changed a lot since then. He spends on me now, and I know he loves me. I also have a good-paying job, so I can buy myself whatever I need. But that’s not really the point.
I love thoughtful surprises. I don’t want to have to ask every time. I want my husband to think, “This would make her happy,” and do it because he wants to.
What has been bothering me lately is that he’ll buy things for his family without them asking. He got his mom a phone, buys things for his brother, and yesterday he said he wants to buy his dad a new Samsung S26. I genuinely have no issue with him taking care of his parents. I actually support that.
But when my own phone suddenly stopped working, he never once asked if I wanted him to buy me a new one. Maybe he assumed I could afford it because I’m working, but it still hurt. It’s not about the phone or the money. It’s about not feeling like I was thought of in the same way.
To make it harder, his parents have never really sent us gifts or asked if we needed anything during the two years we’ve been living away, so I sometimes find myself wondering why he’s so proactive with them but not with me.
Am I just being jealous, or is it reasonable to want your spouse to occasionally spoil you or surprise you without being asked? I don’t want expensive things, I just want to feel like he wanted to make me happy on his own.

F26. I work in an Indian owned MNC in Dubai. Most of the coworkers are North Indians and then mix of french, Chinese and Arabs.
I started work as a temporary replacement for the office admin who was going for her maternity leave. Towards the end of my tenure, the company really liked me and they decided to hire me full time. Story time to how I got this job: I was done applying, I stayed messaging employees directly via LinkedIn and of which a mallu guy reached out and said there’s this opportunity. At the beginning itself he used to call me multiple times to explain which felt sus. I ignored. I wanted the job. So after joining, this guy and me sits in the same office cabin. He started flirting with me, nothing was working. He even started saying stupid things like there any many girls behind him (note this guy is a 36 yo uncle and a dad of a 10 yo girl). I’ve always ignored him but I tried to maintain friendliness bc we were coworkers. He used to say sorry when he accidentally touch me. Later once I had an arm pain, it was so bad I asked him to help me get up. From that instance, he started touching me without consent. He touched my arms while explaining things. I’m a stupid naive girl who can’t say anything. It eats my peace up. Recently he started touching my thighs while explaining things, oh god that was out of my control and I told him pls don’t touch me.
He said sorry but 2 days later he again started doing the same. I stay away most of the time how much I can but idk what more to do. I can’t complain to the HR bc he will put me into troubles by saying my work is bad and such things, since it’s an Indian company they really ask him every week how is my performance.
It makes me sick to that he’s a married man, he’s a Muslim. A dad to a girl. And doing these things. His wife is pregnant and the way he comments about his wife!!! Let her endure the pain of delivery what else she had to do?? Nothing in her life right? OMG imagine a man saying this while this lady is carrying his sperm inside her. Id throw that baby away and divorce him and get a life of my own. He keeps saying it’s boring to be with the same person. He wants to put that thought into me and make me have a boring relationship with my husband.
For work related things: he makes me do this small small tasks and never puts me into the bigger picture. No emails. Even if he send emails it’s only to me.
He never cc anyone senior. Or if he gets an email from any seniors, he will just forward the email to me to get the work done, he’ll never put me in CC.
This job pays me well. Around 3L INR per month, that’s the only reason I’m staying. But my mental health working with this toxic POS is worse than ever.
Please help me how to navigate this.

Am I wrong for getting upset with my husband over this?
For context, I’ve been married for almost 2 years and this will be my first trip back to India since getting married.
After our wedding, I stayed with my in-laws for about 10 days and since then I’ve maintained a good relationship with them through calls and messages. My parents and I currently live in the same country abroad.
I’m traveling to India for 2 weeks for a wedding. My husband will be joining me 5 days later. Since he’ll be arriving later, my plan was to stay at my parents’ house until he arrives. I planned to visit my in-laws on the first day I land, spend a few hours with them, and then return to my parents’ place. Once my husband arrives, I’d spend more time with his family.
Recently, my plans changed because I also need to do wedding shopping on the day I arrive. So my updated plan is to do the shopping and then visit my in-laws in the evening.
My husband is strongly against this plan. His reasons are:

I’ll probably be exhausted and might trigger a migraine after traveling and shopping and will be exhausted when I meet his parents.

I’ll end up reaching my parents’ place and my in-laws’ place later than originally planned.

What upset me is that during the discussion, it felt like his main concern was the delay in visiting his parents rather than the fact that I’d be traveling, shopping, and potentially exhausting myself. From my perspective, I’m already making it a priority to visit them on the very first day despite being tired.
For comparison, I’ve seen his own sister and several of my cousins visit their in-laws days or even weeks after returning from abroad, and nobody seemed to make an issue out of it.
I ended up getting frustrated and raised my voice during the conversation. He’s now upset about that.
I know raising my voice wasn’t ideal, but was I wrong for defending myself and feeling hurt? Or am I being unreasonable here?

I used chat GPT for phrasing my words better since my grammar isn’t that great.

Am I wrong for feeling uneasy about my husband’s financial responsibility toward his family?

I’m 26F, born and raised in Dubai, married to my husband (29M) for about 2 years. We both work and live independently. My parents are settled in Dubai, so I see them once or twice a month. My husband’s family lives in India. We have a good relationship with them—we call regularly, visit during vacations, and send them around ₹15,000–20,000 every month.
My husband is the eldest son. He has a married sister with two young children and a younger brother who recently finished 12th grade.

Ever since we got married, I’ve noticed that my husband is expected to handle almost everything related to his family. Even small issues. For example, if his younger brother comes home late, his father calls my husband and expects him to discipline him. His father is only 53 and fully capable of handling these things himself.

The current issue is his younger brother’s university education. For years, my father-in-law talked about sending him abroad (London or Dubai), but my husband was always against the idea because of the cost. Now that it’s actually time for university, my father-in-law has completely changed his attitude and is blaming my husband for not saving for his brother’s education.

What frustrates me is that my husband had to take an education loan for his own studies and only finished paying it off about 3 years ago. Then, before our wedding, his father asked him to use his savings for his sister’s wedding, promising he would help later with our wedding expenses. That never happened, and my husband ended up taking a loan of around AED 60,000 for our wedding.
Despite all this, his father tells him he has “never done anything for the family.”

In reality, my husband has:
Sent money home every month
Bought his brother a laptop
Bought his mother a phone
Given gold gifts for his niece as per the culture of our place.

Helped financially whenever asked
Now he has agreed to sponsor his brother’s university fees, and likely hostel and living expenses as well.
Another thing that bothers me is that every month around the 3rd, his father calls asking why the money hasn’t been sent yet if there’s any delay.
I feel conflicted because I understand that it’s his family and he wants to help them. But at the same time, he’s my family too. We barely have savings or investments. Our plan was to build financial security, have children in the next few years, and eventually allow me to step back from work when we start a family. That now feels uncertain.

I also feel a little hurt sometimes because my husband is generous with his family, but when it comes to me, I usually buy my own things. I’m someone who enjoys both giving and receiving gifts. If I want something from him, I often have to specifically ask, which makes it feel less meaningful.
I don’t think the issue is the money itself. I think it’s that I feel like our future always comes second to everyone else’s needs. But I’ve never made him feel miserable for that since I don’t want to add to his bp already.

Am I being unreasonable here? How would you handle this situation if you were in my place?

26F, 91.7 kgs. 165 cm. Married. Living in ME. I’ve been overweight my entire life. I have lost from 86 to 72 during lockdown by going IF and fully restricting myself to sugar and doing home cardio workouts such as Chloe ting at that time. I gained it all back as I started binge eating and it was a struggle. I would just eat eat eat even if I don’t want to. Now since 25 I’ve trying to eat intentionally. I still do eat junks. My diet looks like:
breakfast - 2 boiled eggs and iced coffee (150 ml oatmilk/almond milk, cofeee, 1tbsp honey)
Lunch: 100/150g rice, chicken,and some curries, carrot cucumber salad most days.
Evening: chai with jaggery and oatmilk( around 100/150ml oatmilk)
Dinner: Mostly Kerala based Rice snacks + Any curries.

I started working out now, but still hard time losing weight. Whatever I try I’m not losing weight. I want to start baby planning in a year I’m not sure how can I lose weight before that. I don’t want to be an obese pregnant women. Kindly help.

Kindly tell me what I should add or not. And I’m worried if I just do cardio and lose weight , I’ll end up like before without any sustainability.

Edit: From age 13, I was diagnosed with PCOS. But in a scan done yesterday my gynecologist said I don’t have any pcos in my ovaries. Ovulation is regular. Slight variation in blood works but that’s not an issue doc said.

Same as title

Hi, can you’ll suggest some budget friendly things to do during Eid holidays.
Can’t travel out as we had a major expense in the same month. What else can be done?
I’m not so much crazy fun person, something to relax and chill. To take that break from 9-6 work schedule.
Just me and my husband as couple.

(F26) Just turned 26 a week back and this is the first birthday I didn’t feel anything. I wasn’t excited. I wasn’t able to show any kind of excitement or whatever when my partner planned my birthday amidst the whole shifting and lots of other problems we were in. I am blessed with a lot of loving people. My family, his family, friends.
But somewhere life doesn’t feel exciting anymore. Until last week I was in a loop of work eat sleep. Since I used to leave to work at 6am and get home at 8pm. Now that I shifted I have more time. But I don’t know what to do. I’m doomscrolling which I hate. But what else am I supposed to do.???
I’m obese. 90kgs. Eats almost 50:50 healthy and unhealthy. I don’t know what to do. Please help me get out of this feeling. I also am a ACCA myself but ended up getting an admin job bc that paid better than entry level ACCA jobs. I’m stable with job Alhamdulillah. I don’t know how to manage money. I spend a lot on online shopping and stuff. I feel miserable. How can I feel more lively.

On the other side. My parents are young. Mom is 45 and dad is 52. But they don’t take care of their health. Which scares me even more. I really don’t know how to navigate through this life. Kindly give some advice to this fellow 26yo