u/Anonymous-and-Nosey

Backstory

39.5 year-old female, married & childfree-by-choice. Works F/T in a hybrid role & P/T doing bookkeeping for our family's business.

I've convinced myself I'm a "night owl" for no real reason other than I grew up in a household with a dad who worked nights. So over the years, I've developed horrendous sleep habits. I return home from work around 5p absolutely exhausted*. I bet rot or nap until 7 or 8p. It's easy to say 'don't lay down!', but I simply can't help it. I'm worn out, both physically & mentally. After napping, I get a "second wind" & end up staying up far too late. I don't even do anything productive, e.g. it's far too hot 'n humid to go for a walk. I'm exhausted before the next day even starts. On the weekends, I sleep 'til noon or 1p & waste the entire day.

I've tried all the usual suggestions, e.g. developing a sleep routine, going to bed or getting up earlier in small increments, reducing screen time (using AppBlock & DND), etc. None of it sticks. And now I'm desperate enough to make a drastic change & try to ride out the side effects until my body adapts.. bed at 8p; up at 5a. Home (if no errands) > pet care > dinner > shower > wind down > bed. No chores. No workouts. The bare minimum during the work week. At least to start.

I've read you need to establish goals & a routine if you're going to succeed. First up..

Goals (in order of importance)

1. Reduce chronic exhaustion/fatigue
2. Prehab - I'm preparing for a big surgery October 5 & per doctor's orders, I need to 1) Build stamina through regular walks; 2) Increase protein intake. Getting up before it gets too hot should, theoretically, encourage me to take a walk (I also need sunlight to reset my circadian rhythm). I'll also have more time for breakfast.
3. If I can tackle 1 & 2, I'm hoping I'll make better use of my time, especially on the weekends.

My husband seems willing to give it a shot (he's usually tired by 8p himself), so it shouldn't cause any major disruptions in our household. If I can just not lay down between 5-8p!

I have a few 4th of July outings, so the plan is to start the evening of July 7th (I'll post my plan later). Luckily, my boss & closest co-worker will be OOO next week if I'm feeling extra tired and/or grumpy, lol.❓Any tips or tricks to be successful?

*It's important to note I have a few chronic health conditions (through no fault of my own) that cause fatigue. We keep a close eye on my labs; nothing outta whack. My body feels best when I get 8.5-9 hours of solid sleep/night. Sleep is essential to my overall health. I have to get this under control!

Backstory

39.5 year-old female, married & childfree-by-choice. Works F/T in a hybrid role & P/T doing bookkeeping for our family's business.

I've convinced myself I'm a "night owl" for no real reason other than I grew up in a household with a dad who worked nights. So over the years, I've developed horrendous sleep habits. I return home from work around 5p absolutely exhausted*. I bet rot or nap until 7 or 8p. It's easy to say 'don't lay down!', but I simply can't help it. I'm worn out, both physically & mentally. After napping, I get a "second wind" & end up staying up far too late. I don't even do anything productive, e.g. it's far too hot 'n humid to go for a walk. I'm exhausted before the next day even starts. On the weekends, I sleep 'til noon or 1p & waste the entire day.

I've tried all the usual suggestions, e.g. developing a sleep routine, going to bed or getting up earlier in small increments, reducing screen time (using AppBlock & DND), etc. None of it sticks. And now I'm desperate enough to make a drastic change & try to ride out the side effects until my body adapts.. bed at 8p; up at 5a. Home (if no errands) > pet care > dinner > shower > wind down > bed. No chores. No workouts. The bare minimum during the work week. At least to start.

I've read you need to establish goals & a routine if you're going to succeed. First up..

Goals (in order of importance)

1. Reduce chronic exhaustion/fatigue
2. Prehab - I'm preparing for a big surgery October 5 & per doctor's orders, I need to 1) Build stamina through regular walks; 2) Increase protein intake. Getting up before it gets too hot should, theoretically, encourage me to take a walk (I also need sunlight to reset my circadian rhythm). I'll also have more time for breakfast.
3. If I can tackle 1 & 2, I'm hoping I'll make better use of my time, especially on the weekends.

My husband seems willing to give it a shot (he's usually tired by 8p himself), so it shouldn't cause any major disruptions in our household. If I can just not lay down between 5-8p!

I have a few 4th of July outings, so the plan is to start the evening of July 7th (I'll post my plan later). Luckily, my boss & closest co-worker will be OOO next week if I'm feeling extra tired and/or grumpy, lol.❓Any tips or tricks to be successful?

*It's important to note I have a few chronic health conditions (through no fault of my own) that cause fatigue. We keep a close eye on my labs; nothing outta whack. My body feels best when I get 8.5-9 hours of solid sleep/night. Sleep is essential to my overall health. I have to get this under control!

Background

• Age: 39.5
• Status: Married, childfree-by-choice
• Location: Midwest, USA. COL is low.
• Employment: Full-time in Higher Ed

My husband & I currently have $209,885.10 saved for retirement. It fluctuates but slightly above average for our age bracket. We need to ramp it up, though, if we can.

We set aside $1,229.38/month of our own money, & my employer contributes another $1,256.02/month. It's spread across a two IRAs (we each have one), a mandatory 403(b), voluntary 403(b) & pension (cash balance, discontinued program through a prior employer).

By YE, I'd like to round out our monthly contributions to $1,500.. an additional $270.62 funded through a very small side hustle.

Where do you recommend we put this? Talk to me like a 5 year-old. Don't just say "buy index funds." Break it down. Please. Investing is total enigma to me. If we don't have to pay someone to manage our investments, that's more money saved.

And before/if anyone asks, FIRE isn't a realistic option for us. I have a few very expensive, chronic medical conditions (through no fault of my own) that require I carry a decent health insurance plan.. so working until I qualify for Medicare is the plan 🤷‍♀️

1. My husband is self-employed (family business, so I won't ask him to quit).
2. Marketplace plans don't align with my healthcare needs.
3. If I can work, I will. I will not apply for disability or Medicare unless it becomes absolutely necessary.
4. Universal healthcare isn't available

*I do carry short & long-term disability, as well as long-term care insurance.

My husband & I will be visiting a few of the Nordic countries in mid-April. Instead of posting our full 18-day itinerary, I thought I'd share tentative plans for each city. Let's skip days 1 & 2 (travel).

Can anyone recommend restaurants for dinner on days 3 & 4? Likely something filling & quick on day 3 & a bit more mid-range day 4. If there's any delicious bakeries nearby, we'd love to swing by for some treats.

! PSAs

• I will be undergoing major abdominal surgery 6-7 months prior, so rest is non-negotiable.
• We plan to chase the northern lights on another trip as this is the tail end of the season.
• The number days we're spending in each city are set, so please don't recommend we stay longer.

FAVORITES

• Natural landscapes & unique architecture. "Wow" views & very short hikes due to my surgery.

NOT A FAN

• Bars, partying & too many museums

DAY 3

• Arrive in Oslo, Norway 4:35 PM - flights booked
• Check-in hotel: Clarion Hotel The Hub - booked
• Dinner TBD
• Walk around Opera House Waterfront (sunset 8:27 PM)
• Bed early

DAY 4

• Free breakfast at hotel
• Walk to Aker Brygge - Fjord cruise (we're going on a second cruise later in the trip)
• Take Bygdøy ferry to the museum peninsula. If opened (not looking like it), visit Museum of the Viking Age. If not, Fram Museum ($20 USD pp), Norsk Folkemuseum ($22pp) and/or The Vigeland Park ($0) - likely dependent on weather.
• Early dinner TBD
• Leisurely stroll along Tjuvholmen Sculpture Park + Pier

DAY 5

• Free breakfast at hotel
• Check-out hotel
• Depart for Flåm, Norway via train (late morning preferred)
• Check-in hotel: Flåmsbrygga Hotel - booked. Unfortunately, there will be a cruise ship docked the next day, but we can't adjust our dates. We'll get to that day in my next post.
• Dinner TBD

To follow-up my last post (please read for more details, likes/dislikes, etc), I've revamped our plans. In short, we've ixnayed Isle of Skye for Lake District. We'll be traveling via a mix of train & car rental. We have flexibility to add a 17th day if you think I'm missing something monumental, especially beautiful landscapes. I do not want to stay anywhere less than 2 nights. Thoughts?

*Reason for starting in Bath (online tip): Instead of spending the first few days of your trip in busy London, consider a gentler small-town start in Bath (the ideal jet-lag pillow).

**Paris is just a quick stopover since we can get a good redemption flight home from CDG.

Tentative Itinerary

My husband & I traveled to England & Scotland in 2016. We had a blast! We'd like to return & explore a bit more. 

DATES: TBD, but mid-April 2027 - yes, a year out, but I'm currently saving.

LENGTH: 2.5 weeks + travel from the US (so 3 weeks)

STARTING/ENDING LOCATIONS: LHR - we can get the best point redemptions flying from/from this hub

MUST VISIT LOCATIONS: London.. of course + Edinburgh & Isle of Skye. I'm also interested in Bath, Cambridge (I work in Higher Ed) with a sprinkling of small villages, but we're flexible. PSA: I know Isle of Skye is waaaay out there, but we missed it last time, so we're making it a priority. Flying into EDI has poor point redemptions, so let's pretend, for now, we can't fly there.

LIKES

• Natural landscapes
• Animals/wildlife
• Food tours
• Historic architecture. The older, the better!
• Scouting out filming locations
• Smaller groups/less people
• Trains

DISLIKES

• Go go going. I have a couple medical conditions that require rest.
• Early mornings, lol
• Partying/drinking
• Too many museums

I know many of you will tell me 2.5 weeks is not enough, but let's give this a try. How would you fill in DAYS 5-15?

DAY 1

• Arrive LHR, rest

DAYS 2-4

• London - we've already visited a lot of the typical tourist sites so we can move at a more relaxed pace. If we extended by one day, we could consider an all-day guided tour to/from Paris, but that may be pushing it. We'd depart on day 5.

DAYS 5-15 

• Where should we stop on our way to & back from Isle of Skye (see likes above)? We want to spend 3 days soaking in Isle of Skye & realize getting to/from can be challenging. We'd like to take a train there to ride across the 21-arched Glenfinnan viaduct. We do not want to join a guided tour group this go-around. Our last tour of the Highlands was very crowded & rushed. Day 15 will need to include travel back south.

DAY 16

• Idea/TBD: Explore Cambridge(?), depart for hotel near/inside LHR

DAY 17

• Fly home

I know it'd be ideal if we had 3-4 full weeks & unlimited fundage to fly in wherever, but this is what we're working with. I hope some of ya'll can help!