u/Antique-Syrup5021

Sometimes it happens to us that we get extremely exhausted and eventually end up not sleeping. What to do in these situations? Apparently i can't fall asleep because I overworked today ... Any suggestions?

I am a 19-year-old student living in a hostel, but my closest friend lives in an apartment. Both of our sets of roommates are total assholes. So, naturally, I guilt-tripped my mom and used my friend’s loneliness as an excuse to get permission to stay over. We decided to have a night out. There were four of us in total, and the goal was simple: have fun and walk as far as possible.

We met up at 12:30 AM, walking and talking. Before I knew it, I was totally wasted. My low-tolerance ass was the very first one to get drunk. What followed was a drunk, trauma-sharing session with my three asshole pals. Everyone was buzzed, and absolutely no one was walking in a straight line. For some bizarre reason, I started giving high-kick tutorials right there on the road. I was also constantly cursing my math teacher for failing me on an exam—an exam for which I had studied for 20 straight hours for the re-test.

We had zero shame. We sat outside our college on the benches, completely drunk, chilling and blurting out every single thought that entered our deluded, intoxicated brains. We laughed, we cried, we consoled each other, and we practically summoned demons for our enemies (lol, jk).

Everything was going perfectly until one guy decided to propose to a girl in our group. That completely ruined the mood. It injected a bunch of messy drama into an otherwise nonchalant group—a fact I only fully realized the next day because I was so blacked out at the time.

We finally went home at 5:00 AM. The amount of alcohol I gulped down was so high that I barely remember sections of the night. Honestly, I felt drunk the next day even without drinking—just swaying around and flying above it all (mentally, of course).

But I am officially quitting. I can’t keep drinking every single time trauma hits me hard. I know I am much stronger than that. This was my third time drinking this month. My friend sort of pushed me into it, even though I denied it at first, but it’s my fault too for giving in.

The next day, I was still out of it and acting drunk, so I texted my sister and made her regret all the nasty things she had said about me over chat. In response, she blocked me on everything. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know that I was drunk.

Tbh I made my fam my trauma . They are so overprotective and so mean and all shit but Ig they know me too well enough to protect me.

Seriously, though... why is everyone so fucking depressed? And why do people have to drink to cope with their trauma , to calm this invincible feeling of loneliness, trauma , idk whatever they are suffering from ? I hope every1 stays happy. Damn. Jesus Christ.

Never ever gonna do it, so do u . Because I was lost. It wasn't me.

Will this alcohol fill up the broken parts of my heart . I don't feel so. I think its just a mechanism to cope up with our overburden emotions and we do need sometime , someday to release it . I feel regretful but I am stronger too , remembering the inner power I hold over myself and that I understood a lesson.

Tbh I feel absolutely shameful now. The audacity ... Am I cursing at myself ? Surely, because I know I can be better than this . I am not an alcohol addict due to induced trauma and bad experiences. I am much better and so are you. Whenever I think of alcohol now , I think of my mum and I feel guilty. But I am going to stronger mentally , physically and emotionally. I hope whoever reading is getting what I am tryna express.

Bye . 💪💪 & BEST OF LUCK

Dancing at midnight on my birthday night;

Gazing moon after a Saturday fight.

Soothing my heart with my own words;

Through this phase I had gone by,

I would curl and die.

Never have i ever done anything wrong,

I improved myself but it took me too long,

never have i ever done anything right;

I asked myself ,"was i ever bright?".

Confused are my thoughts and so am I,

come and help me and teach me to fly.

Flying is awesome so is glee,

I drowned myself in this confused sea.

Hated myself for what i was ;

Hated myself for all my flaw;

Hated myself for what i did;

But thankfully , I did not quit.

Broke the barriers and put on my wings;

Freed myself and looked after my dreams.

Help yourselves if you won't disagree;

So come along and fly with me .

SUM_UP:

This is a short yet bittersweet and self-doubting poem I wrote when I was 15 and struggling deeply with depression. At that time, all I wanted was escape — from my thoughts, my fears, and the reality I could not face.

I buried myself in words and poems because they felt safer than confronting what hurt me. But with time, I realized that true escape does not come from running away. It comes from facing the very fears that once controlled you. That is what slowly makes a person fearless, resilient, and less consumed by worry. This poem captures a version of me that felt lost, overwhelmed, and fragile.

I used to think I was a coward for trying to escape my harsh reality, but now I understand that those struggles were shaping me into a stronger person.

I am far more mature today, and I can finally say this with honesty: live your life fully, and fight for it. Depression wants you to surrender quietly — don’t. There is no meaning in giving up without a fight.

Also,𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝓭𝓮𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓸𝓷, you are much stronger then anything.