u/Antique_Relief_804

Ok guys…. I posted last week and then deleted because I panicked that the STBXW would see it and I was still in “try to make it work” phase.

TLDR: rug pulled 2 weeks ago and I have fear that she’s monkey branching. We have two kids but she is yet to be clear that she officially wants a divorce and is using “I need space and time”.

Up until now, I’ve been a ball of anxiety, researching “how to win her back” methods…. Nearly dropping thousands on a dedicated coach to help win her back. At this point I know for fact that she’s talking to another guy and I’m guessing that she’s in the process of working out how to monkey branch to him without losing out too much to me.

I saw a new counsellor this morning who has made me look at the situation from a position of power. Told me to stop blaming myself entirely and explained why she’s doing the things she’s doing (for her own protection and minimising the public perception when people find out).

Now what I’m struggling with is:

How do I move on from here?
How do I not be filled with uncontrollable rage?
How do I not blame myself and ruminate over every single part of our relationship that I failed at?
How do I deal with the inevitable meeting of new fella and the moment he meets my kids?
How do I come to the realisation that there will be someone else for me? At this point, I can’t even comprehend being with another girl just due to the guilt I would feel.

Thanks in advance everyone.

Hi all,

As the title states, my wife gave me my marching orders today. I’ve been grieving a bit already for a few months expecting this day to come so part of me is relieved. Definitely not shocked by the revelation.

Unfortunately, now I get to try and explain it to my 10 and 4 year old boys.

Any advice?

Hi all,

It’s finally happened. After 10 years of marriage, my wife has finally told me she’s done and has moved out. She won’t commit to the divorce word but has said we’re separated and has admitted to being interested in another guy.

We have two young kids and have been alternating each night with them. She’s not faultless and has been difficult to live with at times but I have definitely made mistakes over the years which I am now owning up to and trying to show her that I will address.

She has said she can see the improvement but that it may be too late and she needs time to see if she can forgive the deep resentment she feels towards me. She has asked me for time but I am struggling so hard to give her this when I can’t stop thinking about her talking to this other guy.

Any advice?