I stood up to my sister in law because she made fun of me for being single
I (25F) have a SIL named Jennifer (27F). She’s married to my oldest brother, Jamie (33M). Jamie had a really hard time making friends growing up. I know because, as his little sister, I saw him go through it. He never had one gf or anything. Jennifer was about the same age she and I were best friends since middle school but Jamie never met her (he was away at college) until they worked at the same place as adults (crazy I know). But they both met as adults and got married. They were each others’ first gf/bf and all and it was super sweet. I’ve always been happy for them.
I went down the opposite route. I had a bf of two years and we broke up in college bc he wanted to move away to another state and I wanted to stay close to family. That was really hard. And he was Jamie’s best friend as well. We ended things amicably. He was even a groomsmen in Jamie and Jennifer’s wedding. Fast forward to now. I’m 25, I’ve had some partners here and there but nothing that lasted longer than maybe three months. Honestly I had a lot going on in life. I was stuck in a toxic friendship and environment, was away from family for a good job, and was trying to move back down to my family. So it’s understandable nothing stuck. Well I finally got to move back to where my family is and have loved it.
However, about a year ago, my brother and SIL started poking jokes at how I’m single. At first, it was little things and I was honestly fine with it. You don’t grow up with two older brothers and not be okay with picking. But then it started to bother me. I started to wonder if something was actually wrong with me or wonder why I couldn’t find a life partner. Meanwhile, Jamie and Jennifer’s jokes kept getting worse. They kept saying I was dating AI (for clarification I don’t use AI I’m not sure where that came from) or that I was dating ChatGPT or that ChatGPT was the closest I’d come to dating a real person. Again, I don’t use AI. I’m a teacher so I hate the damn thing (though there are good uses for it but that’s a different conversation). So I’m not sure where it all came from. But it started to hurt.
So, a few days ago I talked to Jennifer and confided in her that I was actually really bothered by the fact that I was single. My second brother, Jeremy (30M) with two kids and divorced, even found a life partner after everything he’s been through and I’m super happy for him but it also just made me feel inadequate. If even he can find love again why can’t I? Jennifer comforted me and we opened up to each other and all. But she even said she didn’t realize their jokes were feeding into my insecurity. That’s my fault. I should’ve told them but just didn’t wanna cause something. But she said they wouldn’t do it again.
Today, we were talking in a group chat with some family and mutual friends in it when we talk about going to the gym this week. I say I can’t bc I have viral bronchitis. To this, Jennifer says “Yeah don’t bring that here Mrs. Bronchitis. Oh wait I meant Miss bc you don’t have a bf least of all a husband”. And that obviously set me off. But also three of our friends and one of our cousins in that gc are single too so they took it to heart as well. It started this whole thing and she basically thought she was being hated on for one comment.
So I texted her and my brother and basically said how I was hurt bc I’d just opened up to her about my insecurities and then she goes and humiliated me in front of friends and family. It was a lengthy text ngl. Not even a second after it sent, she just texted “Jesus that’s long”. Like she’s not even taking this seriously. And the whole time I’m talking to her she’s just saying how I should’ve told them it hurt my feelings which I DID I had JUST TOLD THEM. And she had promised to stop but didn’t. But she thinks I’m overreacting to it all. Now I’m wondering if I am overreacting or could’ve handled it better?