u/Any_Profession_9799

I’m struggling with something right now and wanted to ask other women if they’ve gone through this too :(

I met someone recently. His looks aren’t bad at all, but he’s also not really “my type.” Maybe I feel physical attraction only around 30%, and now I’m overthinking everything and worrying if this could be waswasa or anxiety making me doubt my feelings.

Sometimes I catch myself almost “analyzing” his face instead of naturally seeing him as attractive. Like I’ll randomly focus on details and think things like “his eyes are too far apart” or other small features, and then my brain keeps obsessing over it instead of just feeling normal attraction naturally. It’s exhausting honestly.

What confuses me is my friend’s experience. She told me she was attracted to the first picture of her now husband at the beginning, but during the talking/getting-to-know-each-other phase, that attraction faded and she started overthinking things. After they got married though, she said the attraction came back and she genuinely became attracted to him again emotionally and physically.

So now I’m wondering: has anyone else experienced this? Did attraction fluctuate for you during the process? How did you tell the difference between anxiety/overthinking and genuinely not being attracted to someone?

Would really appreciate hearing from other women who went through something similar.

I’m struggling with something right now and wanted to ask other women if they’ve gone through this too :(

I met someone recently. His looks aren’t bad at all, but he’s also not really “my type.” Maybe I feel physical attraction only around 30%, and now I’m overthinking everything and worrying if this could be waswasa or anxiety making me doubt my feelings.

Sometimes I catch myself almost “analyzing” his face instead of naturally seeing him as attractive. Like I’ll randomly focus on details and think things like “his eyes are too far apart” or other small features, and then my brain keeps obsessing over it instead of just feeling normal attraction naturally. It’s exhausting honestly.

What confuses me is my friend’s experience. She told me she was attracted to the first picture of her now husband at the beginning, but during the talking/getting-to-know-each-other phase, that attraction faded and she started overthinking things. After they got married though, she said the attraction came back and she genuinely became attracted to him again emotionally and physically.

So now I’m wondering: has anyone else experienced this? Did attraction fluctuate for you during the process? How did you tell the difference between anxiety/overthinking and genuinely not being attracted to someone?

Would really appreciate hearing from other women who went through something similar.

I (F) am currently getting to know someone for marriage in a more traditional/intentional way. It’s my driest time. We've met twice so far and have had some conversations with family involved.
On paper, a lot actually aligns. We share values, have things in common, conversations flow, and he seems like a genuinely good, respectful, and emotionally stable person. There are no obvious red flags. Maybe he only said when he gets mad he might get louder. But he seems like a genuine chill introverted guy.
I just need someone I have chosen where I know yes that’s my husband he is different from other men and he is the one I chose not without a reason.

The problem is that I feel very… neutral.
I don’t feel repelled by him, but I’m also not strongly drawn to him. Sometimes I find him interesting, and we do laugh together, but I’m not sure if I feel that “pull” or deeper attraction. I also notice that I can generally get along with many people easily, so I’m worried I might be confusing basic compatibility with something deeper.
Because this is a more intentional path, there’s also a subtle sense of pressure — like I *should* give this a fair chance, especially since nothing is “wrong.”
At the same time, I’m questioning:
Should attraction grow over time in this kind of setting?

Is a calm/neutral feeling actually a good sign (stability), or a sign that something is missing?

How do you distinguish between “this is healthy but unfamiliar” vs. “this just isn’t the right person”?

I’ve only met him twice, so I don’t know if I’m expecting too much too early — or if my hesitation is something I should take seriously.
Would really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been in a similar situation.