u/AppropriateWorry1154

Yep. They always come back. And when they do, your job is to make sure you don’t let them back in.
Don’t fall for all those sweet words and promises. Sometimes they’re just checking if you’re still stupid enough to welcome them back. 😂
Never again. You already gave them a chance. They chose to walk away so let them stay gone.

I learned this lesson the hard way. Four years ago, he left me. Months later, he came back, and I accepted him because I loved him and believed things would be different. Four years later, he left me again right when we were about to celebrate one year of being engaged. And now he’s coming back again. But this time, I’m not repeating the same mistake. I’m finally choosing myself and stopping the cycle. I’m done wasting years waiting for someone who can’t make up his mind about me. He already had his chance. He came back once, I welcomed him, and I gave him four more years. That should have been enough. This time, coming back doesn’t mean getting me back. I learned the lesson. And I’m not wasting another year learning it again.

We just started the break, and it fkd me up so badly that I couldn’t even eat or drink water. All I wanted to do was stay in bed. It’s been two weeks now, and I’ve slowly started realizing: why would I want to be with someone who isn’t sure about me after 9 years together?

As much as it hurts, if he ever comes back whether he wants to keep trying or wants to end things for good I think I’m choosing myself this time.

He’s done this to me before. He left me for the same reason, and honestly, I think I’ve had enough. I love him, I really do, but I can’t keep living in this uncertainty. I don’t deserve to constantly question whether the person I love is choosing me.

Because I believe that if someone truly wants to be with you, they’ll do everything they can to make it work with you. They won’t keep one foot out the door, wondering if the grass might be greener somewhere else.

And that’s what hurts the most. He doesn’t want to fully let me go until he finds out if he’ll be happy without me. So he’s keeping me there as a safety net while he figures out whether there’s something better for him.

I love him, but I don’t want to be someone’s “just in case” anymore.

This time, I need to choose myself.

(He took back the engagement ring anyways)

Whoever sees this, please give me your honest opinion. If you have to be mean to me, go ahead. I genuinely need someone to slap me back into reality rn.

I LOVE THIS PERSON SO MUCH. I’ve accepted him for who he is, the good and the bad. I’ve spent so much time trying to heal from the things that hurt me because of him. He proposed to me he literally got down on one knee in front of me and my family and now he’s suddenly uncertain about us because we’ve had arguments before (no cheating involved) and because of a crush he had before he even proposed to me, who he still thinks about now.

What hurts the most is that I can clearly see that he’s choosing the possibility of his crush over our relationship.

How am I supposed to move on from this? I’m so hurt rn that I genuinely feel like my heart is going to explode. I know deep down that I’m probably supposed to walk away from this person, but knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I don’t want to lose him. I hate that I still love him so much. I hate that part of me is still hoping he’ll choose me.

And honestly, I hate him right now not because I actually hate him, but because I’m so heartbroken that I don’t know what else to feel.

Oh, and just to top it all off… he took the engagement ring back.

So yeah. I’m absolutely devastated rn.

23F I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the nature of love and relationships. Is it possible to be with one person your whole life? Is that really true love, or is it just because two people are too attached to each other that they think each other is what they need? Or are we supposed to jump from relationship to relationship to find what we really want? My questions might sound a bit silly, but I’m really in a tough spot right now. I love this person so much, and we’ve been together for years. But we’re in an LDR, and now we’re on the brink of breaking up because he’s not sure about our relationship. He thinks he committed too early and can’t really find what he actually wants in a person. And part of me hates him so much because if he already thought of this, why did he drag me into this engagement? After almost a year of the engagement and almost 10 years of being together, he’s just going to tell me this because of our past and our arguments.

I have been with this person ever since I was a teen around 15. We started talking until everything developed and we got into a long-distance relationship (LDR). It was on and off, and we were just dumb teens trying to figure out how an LDR works. He was my first serious boyfriend, and I am his first girlfriend. During those years, we were in an LDR, and of course, there were lots of times that we would break up and get back together, just on and off. We’ve hurt each other. I said something that hurt him, and he said something that hurt me, but we never cheated on each other. We also met in person 4th time already.

Now, fast forward, we’re already in our 20s, and as normal with an LDR, we would have arguments. But just a month ago, we had an argument that sparked what’s happening with us rn. The reason for the argument wasn’t really that bad. It was just silly arguments which led to a hurtful argument, just us saying things to each other. Now, he wants to break up with me, and finally, he confessed to me that he still thinks about this co-worker he had 3 years ago and he had a crush on her. He told me that every time we argue, he would always think of her and what could’ve been if only he had broken up with me earlier. He thinks he’d feel peaceful if he just started all over again but with someone else, just so he wouldn’t feel all the hurts he had with our LDR. But the thing is, I was hurt too with all the arguments that we had, but I still did my best to stay with him because I love him. But with him, it’s more of we’ve been together from the start, and us being together for so long stopped him from looking for what he actually wants in a relationship or what he wants with a person, because he committed to me early in an LDR, which I understand because I do feel that too. But the thing is, if you already felt this before (he broke up with me before, and we didn’t have any communication for almost a year, not until he came back and fixed things with me), then why did you come back to my life again and make me think we’re good and you actually want a life with me?

Now I’m still with him, but I know deep down in him that he’s just going with the flow and waiting for me to give up. He always says we will keep trying. But rn I don’t know what to feel. I feel hurt and disrespected. It’s hard for me to walk away because being that long with someone is no joke. He’s literally become a piece of me. But also, I love myself, and if this person does not love me or value me, then why would I stay? But rn I just really don’t know where or how to start again….

What’s your thoughts? And what would you do if you were in the situation?