u/Ariana546

Okay, so before anyone judges me, I know I made a huge mistake by reaching out to him again.
I was in a very abusive relationship with my ex for a year and a half, and we’ve been broken up for almost a year. During our relationship he constantly insulted me and destroyed my self-esteem.
This past year has been a lonely one. I’ve been living alone, going out alone, and all of my close friends are in relationships. I had also just finished one of the most stressful exams of my life (my cardiology exam), and I just wanted to relax and spend time with someone.
So I asked him to come over. I told him I’d finished my exam and didn’t want us to argue.
The evening was mostly okay, although he kept telling me I needed to change because I attract the wrong kind of men. Then he told me the only reason he stayed with me during our relationship was because, back then, he couldn’t afford to date other women. He also started telling me unnecessary details about the woman he dated after me. A year ago those comments would’ve destroyed me, but this time I stood up for myself and didn’t let them get to me.
The very next day, completely out of nowhere, he sent me a picture of himself in a car with another woman who was naked. Then the two of them started mocking me over text, saying things like, “She even got vaccinated against HPV for me. Why are you so upset? We don’t talk to people who get offended so easily.”
I blocked him immediately.
I know I shouldn’t have contacted him again, and I’ve learned my lesson. What I can’t understand is why someone would go out of their way to do something so cruel. Has anyone dealt with someone like this? How do you stop trying to make sense of behavior that seems completely irrational?

Okay, so before anyone judges me, I know I made a huge mistake by reaching out to him again.
I was in a very abusive relationship with my ex for a year and a half, and we’ve been broken up for almost a year. During our relationship he constantly insulted me and destroyed my self-esteem.
This past year has been a lonely one. I’ve been living alone, going out alone, and all of my close friends are in relationships. I had also just finished one of the most stressful exams of my life (my cardiology exam), and I just wanted to relax and spend time with someone.
So I asked him to come over. I told him I’d finished my exam and didn’t want us to argue.
The evening was mostly okay, although he kept telling me I needed to change because I attract the wrong kind of men. Then he told me the only reason he stayed with me during our relationship was because, back then, he couldn’t afford to date other women. He also started telling me unnecessary details about the woman he dated after me. A year ago those comments would’ve destroyed me, but this time I stood up for myself and didn’t let them get to me.
The very next day, completely out of nowhere, he sent me a picture of himself in a car with another woman who was naked. Then the two of them started mocking me over text, saying things like, “She even got vaccinated against HPV for me. Why are you so upset? We don’t talk to people who get offended so easily.”
I blocked him immediately.
I know I shouldn’t have contacted him again, and I’ve learned my lesson. What I can’t understand is why someone would go out of their way to do something so cruel. Has anyone dealt with someone like this? How do you stop trying to make sense of behavior that seems completely irrational?

I’d like to bring up something a bit off-topic, but I feel like I’m going through a rather confusing period in my life and I’d love to hear the perspective of such a large group of women.

For the past few years, all of my close friends have been in relationships, which has made me feel incredibly lonely and left behind. We only see each other a few times a year, and I often feel like they’ve all grown distant and now prioritize their relationships above everything else.

This fear of being alone also kept me in an unhealthy and abusive relationship for much longer than I should have stayed. I finally managed to leave it about a year ago. However, ever since then, I’ve struggled to build deep connections with men. A lot of the time, I would go on dates not because I was genuinely interested in them, but because I had no one else to spend time with. What I was really missing was female companionship, friendship, and fun, yet I kept surrounding myself with people who were available rather than people I truly wanted to be with.

My question is: if any of you have gone through something similar, what advice would you give me? How can I stop feeling so rejected and left behind? And how can I meet new people and build meaningful friendships as an adult?