u/Arreynn

I am a little panicked so sorry if this doesn’t read very well.

So i(m23) had a bit of a falling out with my parents. I told them i planned to go and see a friend abroad for the first time and they freaked out.

They said that itd make them feel sick and end up in hospital if i go. I told them i wouldnt and things have been weird for the last few days. They said that they didnt believe me when i said i wouldnt go.

First they kept on telling me they loved me and would do anything for me. They kept doing that several times throughout the day. I was still annoyed so i didn’t hang around them much or talk all that much (we were talking but casually).

I caught them rooting in my room a couple of times today and yesterday. Which they said they were “looking for washing”, something i always put in the machine so that was a lie.

I hear a weird banging noise from my mothers room(at 3am. my mother has been drinking). I go and ask what is wrong and she says “you know whats wrong”(them being so worried about me that they feel sick) i say i don’t and cant help if i don’t know whats wrong. She then says that she would be no longer paying for the internet(the thing i use to communicate to friends and my support network)

Do i need to get out of here or am i overreacting? I feel pretty scared.

Edit: They have said that they will do their best to keep the internet on but said that it is getting more expensive. I do not know that i believe this given that she said it during a disagreement and is now backtracking or trying to cover herself.

A few days ago i (m23) mentioned to my mother that i had plans to go see my boyfriend for the first time in another country(nearby and generally regarded as safe). They had given me some money for my birthday a few days prior though said they would give the rest after a week.

After i told them my plans they freaked out. Told me that they would not give me any more money since that was what i would be using it for. I just accepted this but was quite annoyed with them. They are entitled to do with their money as they wish. They tell me that i am making them feel sick because i asked and that i would be responsible for putting them in hospital from worrying.

I go quiet with them for the rest of the day and the next are weird. We have another talk of them telling me that i am worrying them and making them feel ill and not able to sleep. Despite me already telling them several times that i wasn’t going. I talk through it diplomatically and listen to their worries. And they just keep saying “i just want you to be safe, i would die for you, this house is yours when you die, etc”. I get annoyed with this but i don’t push back too hard. It took me several attempts to reassure her that i wasnt going and she kept saying “if you are telling the truth”.

Then several times throughout that day my mother just keeps telling me the same things about how “i could have anything i wanted” as long as she knew i was safe. “I never tell you what to do, do i?” This happened again at night as well as this morning. I didn’t really engage with it and now im getting “you’re being very quiet”. I have already dropped and moved on from the topic of the trip but they keep bringing talking about how much they love me, hope that im okay, etc and its just getting so frustrating.

Is this what love bombing is?

I (an adult though i still live with my parents) recently told my parents that i wanted to go and see a friend of mine in another country that i have known for a good while online(we became boyfriends recently but i left that part out bc I’m not ready to come out, if i ever will).

They flipped out and told me they didn’t want me to go. Told me that they would not give any more of the birthday money that was promised to me since this is what i would be spending it on. They started telling me that i am making them feel sick and that they would end up in hospital because of me.

I just walked away after that. It’s been a couple days but they have just been sulking. Apparently they have not been sleeping in that time either. Fast forward to today they bring it up again, tell me how worried making them, bring up the totally realistic scenario of them ending up in hospital because of how I’m being. This time they bring up that i haven’t been spending any time with them lately and that i never want to do things anymore and how thats making them even more sick.

Just don’t know what to do or even say anymore.

I (23) have been planning to meet up with my boyfriend, that i met online, for the first time sometime this year and on my birthday my parents gave me some money(part of it, the rest they said they’d give me the next week). Since this was the case i decided that i would go next month. I told my parents a few weeks ago that i wanted to go and visit someone in another country(not far away). They seemed really weird about it.

Today i told them that i would book the tickets as they would be too expensive if i waited much longer and my mother freaked out. She said “I don’t want you to go”. She then said that she would not give me the rest of the money promised for my birthday, which would cover the basic living stuff while i was over there, since this was what i was using it for and that she would never have given me anything if shed known this was the plan.

She then goes on to say that the idea of it was already making her sick and that shed end up in hospital because of it. Said that it was the stupidest thing shed ever heard and that “you don’t know these people, you don’t know what kind of sick people you might meet”.

I walked away after that and am now just feeling scared and upset. I almost feel crazy for even wanting to do this in the first place. Am i being unreasonable in feeling a bit controlled?

Im still living with parents so I feel a bit bad for being annoyed at this but we haven’t had proper access to hot water for like 5-6 or so years due to an issue with the boiler.

We can get hot water but that involves turning the boiler on, waiting for it to go off which also switches off the electricity in the house, meaning that we cant use it when someone is doing something important that needs electricity and someone cant start doing something while the boiler is on.

They have said that they cant get an electrician to come out and do it because they only come out for big jobs and this is only something that would take 10 or so minutes. They even know someone who could do it but they don’t want to bother them. Which would be understandable but it’s been like 5 years. Its not a case of not being able to afford it. They have spent a lot of money on other stuff for the house and garden. It’s just become the new normal for the house. It’s not the end of the world obviously but it is kind of a pain.