u/ArtisticRaspberry891

i have severe, debilitating anxiety and panic attacks every single day. i cannot go outside at all, even if it’s just to the porch—it’s to the point i panic seeing outside spaces even in tv shows or movies. people can’t have windows or doors open around me because i panic seeing the outside even from inside. even without going outside im constantly panicking while sitting at home as well so i never feel peace, i feel like im dying every single second of every single day and it’s incredibly traumatic. my anxiety also comes along with derealization which only makes the panic worse bc i don’t feel real, i just feel like im floating.

i’ve tried buspar, didn’t do shit. i did zoloft, it completely eliminated my anxiety however it was giving me self harm and suicidal urges so the doctor took me off, i did prozac and it made my depression and anxiety both 10x worse while also giving me anger issues, now ive been on lexapro for months (highest dose 20mg) and it does eliminate my depression but does fuck all for my anxiety or panic. i’m prescribed hydroxyzine but it doesn’t do anything but make me a bit sleepy. the only med that stopped the panic and anxiety is zoloft but my doc won’t prescribe it obviously because i was self harming while on it. i miss being able to actually live my life instead of wasting away in my bedroom in constant fear and panic. they won’t give me benzos, i can’t take propranolol because im already on a beta blocker called nadolol for my heart condition (long qt syndrome)

honestly i’m becoming suicidal, it’s unbearable to live this way.

please someone tell me there’s hope for me. i’m becoming suicidal from the way agoraphobia and panic attacks disrupt my life. i cannot get into cars no matter what. i can barely go outside into my own backyard. i’ve done exposure therapy but it does shit. i’ve tried lexapro, zoloft, prozac, buspar, rispodal, latuda but none help and the docs won’t give me benzos even though im fucking suffering and i’m not an addict. i’m so tired of suffering and going through the traumatic experience of feeling as if im dying all day everyday, and yes it is seriously traumatic. to live what is essentially to me a near death experience every single day all day of my life. it’s hard to cope anymore and it makes me suicidal even though i do not wanna die, i only have depression because of this fucking shit

last week I tried watching the new season of euphoria and just couldn’t get past the first episode because the wide open empty views made me panic lol. like even in media if i see wide open empty spaces it gives me a panic attack

I made a post a little while ago about how I literally cannot get into a car, it feels like I’m dying and I’m freaking the fuck out, when I’m in the car with someone 99% of the time they have to turn around and drop me back off at home. I’m in the middle of exposure therapy (still having panic attacks every time I’m in the car but trying, btw I’m not a driver my anxiety is way too severe for that right now I can’t even imagine, this is just as a passenger) but my mom has also struggled with agoraphobia and anxiety in the past (she’s overcome it now) she gave me a tip recently to close my eyes (she knows wide open spaces trigger me, the open sky and freeways just because there’s nowhere safe close to you can go yk? my main fear is a medical emergency happening and being far away from a place that is safe, like a home or a hospital. I feel like I’m dying in open wide spaces and too far away and trapped in a car for help) but anyways she told me to close my eyes, it doesn’t eliminate the panic but it has helped A TON. it helps not seeing the open wide spaces and sky. I keep my eyes closed in the car now, and like I said I still do panic but it does help.

turns out I’m low on vitamin D, potassium and vitamin B. according to my therapist and my primary care doctor vitamin deficiencies can actually cause panic attacks, contribute to agoraphobia, derealization etc. ever since starting to take a multivitamin everyday my agoraphobia is starting to become more manageable! it’s still there but improving with the multivitamin and exposure therapy. just a tip. even if you aren’t necessarily deficient you could be low and a multivitamin wouldn’t hurt. it’s crazy how many symptoms vitamin deficiency can cause or exacerbate.