hey guys, I was thinking of establishing a defence startup but kinda unsure on how to proceed with it, attract clients and scale the company. the company is already registered.. and I’ll try to start marketing on LinkedIn. but how do I chase clients? anyone wanna join in helping me? im more on the tech side and so far, its just me
We were friends before the relationship. I didn’t like her at first; she begged me to like her back. I had just come out of a relationship and was going into a rebound situation. She stayed friends with me throughout both relationships, and we were still good friends.
When we got together, I had told her that I still hadn’t fully moved on from my ex. She knew this and still accepted me and tried to show me love.
Of course, because I was avoidant in the beginning, I hurt her a lot in the first few months. Over time, I started working on myself and slowly became much better than before, and began trying to show her the love she deserved.
However, she also slowly started turning avoidant over time, even while I was improving and trying to reconnect. Eventually, she became fully avoidant, started seeing no future, and broke up with me. She now says nothing good will come out of us and is not willing to try anymore.
I tried to slowly come back to life, reconnect, and become what she deserves, but it still reached this point.
Even after the breakup, I am still here and still willing to try. But I don’t know what to do.
I know we’ve broken up, but we are still great friends, and I don’t think we will be able to find each other in anyone else again. I’m sorry if I sound conceited speaking on her behalf too, but I genuinely feel this, and she has said it too.
She has also developed an extreme fear of intimacy, marriage, and relationships. There is also marriage pressure from her family, and she may eventually have to marry according to her family’s wishes because she is tired of resisting them. Even mentioning my name or recommending me to her family feels impossible for her, as she believes they would never agree.
I don’t know what to do with my future. I need proper advice.
I know many people will say no contact is the answer, but I don’t believe that is possible in this case. I believe she still loves me, but past hurt and family pressure are stopping her. I have been working on myself a lot, and I know I won’t hurt her again. I just don’t know what to do.
She had also started turning avoidant slowly even when I was actively working on myself and had improved significantly.
I also want to understand how I can make her see that marriage with me would not be as scary as she thinks.
In the beginning, I was reluctant to fight my family for marriage. But over time, I became very comfortable with the idea and told her that. I also suggested studying abroad together, or attending the same university abroad like one of my siblings, just to show her that I am serious about us—that I would hold her hand even in front of my family in another country, and that I would fight and convince them for us.
I have asked and even begged for us to go to couples counselling while we were together, and also suggested individual therapy, but she refused or said it would not help, since things would fall apart again like before when she tried therapy.
I am honestly at my end. I genuinely don’t know what to do.
She has also said that she has always felt fear or dislike toward marriage, intimacy, and relationships. If that was true, then I don’t understand why she entered this relationship with me in the first place.
We were friends before the relationship, and she was the one who insisted on us being together. I was not fully over my past relationship at the time, and she still chose to stay and accept me.
She has also shared that at some point she got physically close to another guy while we were factually not together, so it was not technically cheating. However, she never fully broke contact with a guy I was always uncomfortable with. That same guy was emotionally significant to me because my first ex had confessed to him after our breakup.
Despite knowing my discomfort, she stayed connected with him. During fights, she would block him, and after breakups she would unblock him and say she didn’t even remember why she blocked him. Even during the relationship, she remained friends with that group and that guy, which I was uncomfortable with, but she often interpreted it as jealousy and even discussed or boasted about it with her friends.
I had also requested her, due to my past trauma, not to share her feelings about me with her friends or tell them she liked me, because it usually backfired and people would judge me unfairly for simply rejecting others.
She also shared a deeply personal secret of mine with her online friends when we were just friends—something I had never told anyone. When I confronted her about it, she brought up my ex, gave me a panic attack, and then left.
I also want to add that I have always tried to build a life together—suggesting we work together, study together, and plan together—but she would often pull back from these ideas. Sometimes she would agree and apply with me, but later I would find out she was applying everywhere on her own without including me or thinking about us. I was consistently the one trying to include her in every opportunity I saw, while I did not feel the same level of shared direction from her side.
There is so much more as well, and I am leaving out the parts where I hurt her too, I’m not trying to devoid myself of accountability by leaving them out, I have been extremely shameful about it and she knows as well, I have been apologetic over it and changing my behavior too she knows, and I have been atoning for my mistakes since the last year or so but I genuinely don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave her, but staying friends with her is also breaking me from the inside, and not being able to pursue our future goals together is also breaking me from the inside.
We were friends before the relationship. I didn’t like her at first; she begged me to like her back. I had just come out of a relationship and was going into a rebound situation. She stayed friends with me throughout both relationships, and we were still good friends.
When we got together, I had told her that I still hadn’t fully moved on from my ex. She knew this and still accepted me and tried to show me love.
Of course, because I was avoidant in the beginning, I hurt her a lot in the first few months. Over time, I started working on myself and slowly became much better than before, and began trying to show her the love she deserved.
However, she also slowly started turning avoidant over time, even while I was improving and trying to reconnect. Eventually, she became fully avoidant, started seeing no future, and broke up with me. She now says nothing good will come out of us and is not willing to try anymore.
I tried to slowly come back to life, reconnect, and become what she deserves, but it still reached this point.
Even after the breakup, I am still here and still willing to try. But I don’t know what to do.
I know we’ve broken up, but we are still great friends, and I don’t think we will be able to find each other in anyone else again. I’m sorry if I sound conceited speaking on her behalf too, but I genuinely feel this, and she has said it too.
She has also developed an extreme fear of intimacy, marriage, and relationships. There is also marriage pressure from her family, and she may eventually have to marry according to her family’s wishes because she is tired of resisting them. Even mentioning my name or recommending me to her family feels impossible for her, as she believes they would never agree.
I don’t know what to do with my future. I need proper advice.
I know many people will say no contact is the answer, but I don’t believe that is possible in this case. I believe she still loves me, but past hurt and family pressure are stopping her. I have been working on myself a lot, and I know I won’t hurt her again. I just don’t know what to do.
She had also started turning avoidant slowly even when I was actively working on myself and had improved significantly.
I also want to understand how I can make her see that marriage with me would not be as scary as she thinks.
In the beginning, I was reluctant to fight my family for marriage. But over time, I became very comfortable with the idea and told her that. I also suggested studying abroad together, or attending the same university abroad like one of my siblings, just to show her that I am serious about us—that I would hold her hand even in front of my family in another country, and that I would fight and convince them for us.
I have asked and even begged for us to go to couples counselling while we were together, and also suggested individual therapy, but she refused or said it would not help, since things would fall apart again like before when she tried therapy.
I am honestly at my end. I genuinely don’t know what to do.
She has also said that she has always felt fear or dislike toward marriage, intimacy, and relationships. If that was true, then I don’t understand why she entered this relationship with me in the first place.
We were friends before the relationship, and she was the one who insisted on us being together. I was not fully over my past relationship at the time, and she still chose to stay and accept me.
She has also shared that at some point she got physically close to another guy while we were factually not together, so it was not technically cheating. However, she never fully broke contact with a guy I was always uncomfortable with. That same guy was emotionally significant to me because my first ex had confessed to him after our breakup.
Despite knowing my discomfort, she stayed connected with him. During fights, she would block him, and after breakups she would unblock him and say she didn’t even remember why she blocked him. Even during the relationship, she remained friends with that group and that guy, which I was uncomfortable with, but she often interpreted it as jealousy and even discussed or boasted about it with her friends.
I had also requested her, due to my past trauma, not to share her feelings about me with her friends or tell them she liked me, because it usually backfired and people would judge me unfairly for simply rejecting others.
She also shared a deeply personal secret of mine with her online friends when we were just friends—something I had never told anyone. When I confronted her about it, she brought up my ex, gave me a panic attack, and then left.
I also want to add that I have always tried to build a life together—suggesting we work together, study together, and plan together—but she would often pull back from these ideas. Sometimes she would agree and apply with me, but later I would find out she was applying everywhere on her own without including me or thinking about us. I was consistently the one trying to include her in every opportunity I saw, while I did not feel the same level of shared direction from her side.
There is so much more as well, and I am leaving out the parts where I hurt her too, I’m not trying to devoid myself of accountability by leaving them out, I have been extremely shameful about it and she knows as well, I have been apologetic over it and changing my behavior too she knows, and I have been atoning for my mistakes since the last year or so but I genuinely don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave her, but staying friends with her is also breaking me from the inside, and not being able to pursue our future goals together is also breaking me from the inside.
We were friends before the relationship. I didn’t like her at first; she begged me to like her back. I had just come out of a relationship and was going into a rebound situation. She stayed friends with me throughout both relationships, and we were still good friends.
When we got together, I had told her that I still hadn’t fully moved on from my ex. She knew this and still accepted me and tried to show me love.
Of course, because I was avoidant in the beginning, I hurt her a lot in the first few months. Over time, I started working on myself and slowly became much better than before, and began trying to show her the love she deserved.
However, she also slowly started turning avoidant over time, even while I was improving and trying to reconnect. Eventually, she became fully avoidant, started seeing no future, and broke up with me. She now says nothing good will come out of us and is not willing to try anymore.
I tried to slowly come back to life, reconnect, and become what she deserves, but it still reached this point.
Even after the breakup, I am still here and still willing to try. But I don’t know what to do.
I know we’ve broken up, but we are still great friends, and I don’t think we will be able to find each other in anyone else again. I’m sorry if I sound conceited speaking on her behalf too, but I genuinely feel this, and she has said it too.
She has also developed an extreme fear of intimacy, marriage, and relationships. There is also marriage pressure from her family, and she may eventually have to marry according to her family’s wishes because she is tired of resisting them. Even mentioning my name or recommending me to her family feels impossible for her, as she believes they would never agree.
I don’t know what to do with my future. I need proper advice.
I know many people will say no contact is the answer, but I don’t believe that is possible in this case. I believe she still loves me, but past hurt and family pressure are stopping her. I have been working on myself a lot, and I know I won’t hurt her again. I just don’t know what to do.
She had also started turning avoidant slowly even when I was actively working on myself and had improved significantly.
I also want to understand how I can make her see that marriage with me would not be as scary as she thinks.
In the beginning, I was reluctant to fight my family for marriage. But over time, I became very comfortable with the idea and told her that. I also suggested studying abroad together, or attending the same university abroad like one of my siblings, just to show her that I am serious about us—that I would hold her hand even in front of my family in another country, and that I would fight and convince them for us.
I have asked and even begged for us to go to couples counselling while we were together, and also suggested individual therapy, but she refused or said it would not help, since things would fall apart again like before when she tried therapy.
I am honestly at my end. I genuinely don’t know what to do.
She has also said that she has always felt fear or dislike toward marriage, intimacy, and relationships. If that was true, then I don’t understand why she entered this relationship with me in the first place.
We were friends before the relationship, and she was the one who insisted on us being together. I was not fully over my past relationship at the time, and she still chose to stay and accept me.
She has also shared that at some point she got physically close to another guy while we were factually not together, so it was not technically cheating. However, she never fully broke contact with a guy I was always uncomfortable with. That same guy was emotionally significant to me because my first ex had confessed to him after our breakup.
Despite knowing my discomfort, she stayed connected with him. During fights, she would block him, and after breakups she would unblock him and say she didn’t even remember why she blocked him. Even during the relationship, she remained friends with that group and that guy, which I was uncomfortable with, but she often interpreted it as jealousy and even discussed or boasted about it with her friends.
I had also requested her, due to my past trauma, not to share her feelings about me with her friends or tell them she liked me, because it usually backfired and people would judge me unfairly for simply rejecting others.
She also shared a deeply personal secret of mine with her online friends when we were just friends—something I had never told anyone. When I confronted her about it, she brought up my ex, gave me a panic attack, and then left.
I also want to add that I have always tried to build a life together—suggesting we work together, study together, and plan together—but she would often pull back from these ideas. Sometimes she would agree and apply with me, but later I would find out she was applying everywhere on her own without including me or thinking about us. I was consistently the one trying to include her in every opportunity I saw, while I did not feel the same level of shared direction from her side.
There is so much more as well, and I am leaving out the parts where I hurt her too, I’m not trying to devoid myself of accountability by leaving them out, I have been extremely shameful about it and she knows as well, I have been apologetic over it and changing my behavior too she knows, and I have been atoning for my mistakes since the last year or so but I genuinely don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave her, but staying friends with her is also breaking me from the inside, and not being able to pursue our future goals together is also breaking me from the inside.