u/AsWeGoAlong14

Hey y'all. So as the title suggests my ex from like 3 years ago texted me this morning. Obviously it was a wrong number situation but after he circled back and told me he was sorry for how he treated me. I'm just thinking, why is my number still in your phone when you're engaged to be married in 3 months!!!! Goofy goofy goofy. I find it so ironic that the ex that is literally the last I want to hear from texts me out of the blue, when I'm literally praying every day for my other ex to reach out and repent. The world is such a funny thing sometimes. It sucks that only the ones you genuinely don't want to hear from come back at some point!!!

Its been 3 months NC and it is absolutely tearing me apart sometimes. I decided to unblock them a couple weeks ago because I noticed unblocked or not I had the same habits and even blocked I still had urges to break NC. really big factor as to why I'm not breaking it is because of the way things ended I mean hours before we were on a date and happy and enjoying ourselves and then he just suddenly started calling me names and dumped me. And all because I said I wanted to talk more after our date and seemed upset. My sense of justice is just nagging at me to reach out and get clarity that I mattered to him and he feels regret, but I know it's just not realistic and he'll probably start hurling insults at me again. And I just can't deal with anyone who does that to me with no remorse. I've already gave him enough of a chance keeping him followed for 3 days after the dump. It's just driving me crazy. I hate being crazy for someone who did me so dirty. I wish I could just remove this grief from my head but he is legit one of the nicest guys I ever dated before that dumping. I really miss him and I hate that I do. I'm so upset that he could do all of this to me and leave me with so much grief when he was so kind. When he dropped all of his classes to help fix my car and take me to dinner after. I don't know why people do what he did. I wish he could just realize what he did and apologize. But it's never happening. And I'm never gonna get clarity from reaching out to him anyways. Clarity is only come from myself in this scenario. Just...ugh. I realize i need someone else and I don't even want to go back to him. I realize in hindsight even when he was great there was something wrong with him in the head and he shouldn't be dating right now. But I still have that horrible urge to reach out. And I keep asking myself why isn't he reaching out??? Why isn't he remorseful??? this is so tough. Ok im out.