u/Assi0hh

i want it js short and idk how i can think of one

why is it so hard to find genuine people. i’ve been through different friend groups before, but most of them ended up either toxic or just slowly fading out when we outgrew each other.

i have friends, but they all feel surface level. like school friends, people i talk to in passing, but not really anyone who fully knows me for me. sometimes i wonder if i’m even truly seen by anyone.

i like being alone, i really do, but there are nights where it hits me and i start asking what’s wrong with me. why do people not stay. why do i always end up being the one left behind or replaced.

at 17, it’s hard not to notice how other people seem to have these big circles and can just click with anyone so easily, like connection just comes naturally to them. meanwhile i feel like i’m always on the outside of it, trying to find where i fit but never really settling anywhere.

it’s just so empty sometimes because i feel like i haven’t found my people yet. and even if i love my solitude, i’m still scared of ending up alone. it makes me overthink if there’s something about me that makes people not stay long term, or if i’m just unlucky with the kind of people i meet. i don’t even want a lot of people, just a few real ones but even that feels harder than it should be.

i love romance, but i want authors with genuinely good writing and no major issues/drama surrounding them. i don’t like forced romance or toxic dynamics, and if it’s dark romance sana walang r4pe, cheating, incest, or abusive stuff being romanticized. i don’t mind flawed characters or darker themes, pero sana written with actual depth and awareness, not just for the kilig.

So hard to find stories with natural chemistry, well written leads, and emotional depth without all the unnecessary toxicity & maayos talaga magsulat and hindi puro shock value or toxic tropes lang. i want stories where the romance feels natural and emotionally developed. 😓

it feels so freeing to finally get over someone and a situation that took years of pain and trying to move on from. I had this ex bsf for years, i used to think our friendship was perfect and something i could never let go of, but i didn’t realize how much it was slowly destroying my mental health. i kept gaslighting myself, romanticizing every red flag, and settling for the bare minimum because i was too attached to leave.

i kept going back thinking things would change, but all i ever felt was anxiety, confusion, and disappointment. now that it’s finally over, i don’t even miss it anymore, not even a little bit.sometimes i just sit there and wonder why i let myself go through all of that for so long. i always thought maybe i was the problem, maybe i was asking for too much, when in reality i was only begging for the bare minimum.

if i could tell my younger self that one day i’d fully move on, she probably wouldn’t believe me. i really thought i’d stay stuck forever. but i guess it’s true that sometimes you keep going back until one day you’re finally done. At the last no contact, it only took me 1 month to move on bcs i was so done alr.

and to anyone going through the same thing right now, hope you know that one day you’ll wake up and realize you survived everything you thought would destroy you. one day the attachment fades, the overthinking stops, and the person you once cried over won’t even have the same effect on you anymore. i hope you choose yourself sooner, but even if it takes time, i hope you eventually realize that peace feels so much better than begging to be valued.

If i moved on, trust me, you will also!