So does anyone know why we don’t print trios anymore? Like the Bible BoM d&c all in one?
They seem to have disappeared enough that I’ve never even seen one. But I know they existed and would love to have had one.
I’m currently preparing for my confirmation September 12th.(WOOOHOOO!!!) And I’m beyond ecstatic to be joint the community but, I’m scared. What drew me into our church was the fact that, it had more progressive and modern academic beliefs, and the fact it kept all the joy of the restoration. When I was lds I constantly felt like the odd balk out becuse I was gay I questioned history I questioned culture and social teaching and theology. But I couldn’t bear to leave behind the BoM and the prophet and temple. But then I found the reorganization and studied RLDS history and CoC and fell in love. But alas even tho my teacher (a well respected mission leader with heavy business at headquarters) has reassured me of my fears I still have some anxiety over some things. For starters it seems like the global church is losing its sacred past. I never hear reference to the BoM or the prophets. I mean even now President Cramn is barely even referred to as the prophet. And church leadership are still wrestling with what the temple means and its purpose (outside an event center). And even tho “the BoM is still considered scripture” I’ve personally seen so many members especially young ones brought up in the church or non denominational converts flat out ignore it. I’m friends with a young woman who blatantly told a seeker that “we don’t belive in the BoM or use it” which is that probably a fault of her, yes. But she’s not the only person who thinks that and church leadership kinda just Willy nilly lets congregations do whatever. So I feel like we are watching the restoration roots disappear even if they’re mentioned on our website. The last time I personally have heard anyone in church leadership or globally care about restoration anything was with the kirtland sale. And then a few months ago the prophet did an interview with a Mormon podcast, but that’s it. Im lucky to be in a very Mormon congregation that does Mormon things but I feel like we’re oddballs out to the rest of the general church. Instead of hearing community of Christ and thinking of a sacred empowering evolving restoration story people think of any other Protestant church. Which leads into my next concern which is the church seems to be dying. Our numbers are lower than ever it’s bad enough leadership is exploring how to decentralize the church if need arises. This gives me great pause, it makes me feel as though I’m joining a sinking ship. Our endowments and tithes are low along with membership and it shows. The temple dosent have that much traffic as far as I’ve seen. Signage at the temple at auditorium are missing letters. The peace park memorial is in shambles. All things that make our beautiful sacred spaces look like forgotten tombs.
Don’t mind the essay but I’d love to hear thoughts and opinions.
Peace ☮️
I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore and I need outside perspectives. Before I go insane.
There’s a guy in my life who I care about deeply. (He’s a Missonary) We talk all the time, and sometimes the things he says make me feel like I’m not crazy for thinking there’s something there.
For example, when we were apart and getting on each other’s nerves, he literally said, “I think we are mad cause we are apart from each other. Let’s be real.”
Another time I joked that he was having withdrawals from me and he replied, “You are too.”
I know his whole family, they love me.
When I made a joke about him getting married one day, his response wasn’t “of course it’ll be a girl.” It was, “First of all, who says it’s gonna be a her.”
I constantly make jokes about “ending it all” to which he replies “I love u too much, don’t kys.” Or he enters a panic followed by “I’ll go with you.”
And then there’s the one that really gets me. After joking about finding a new lover, he literally asked me, “Or r u gonna be my one.”
The problem is that every single one of these moments comes with plausible deniability. Everything is wrapped in humor, irony, memes, jokes, or “bro” culture. Nothing is ever direct enough that I can point to it and say, “See? That’s what this is.”
It’s like he keeps pulling back a curtain for a second and then dropping it again.
One moment he sounds like he loves me, misses me, needs me around, calls me his lover, and says things that make my heart stop.
The next moment he’s talking about his future, marriage, eternal families, and the life everyone expects him to have.
I feel like I’m constantly trying to figure out whether I’m seeing the real person behind the curtain or whether I’m reading meaning into things because I love him.
And yes, I do love him. That’s the part I’ve finally admitted to myself.
So what am I supposed to do with this?
Do I take his words seriously? Do I assume it’s all jokes? Do I accept that maybe he cares deeply about me but not in the way I hope? Has anyone else ever had someone who seemed to say everything except the thing they actually meant?
Because I feel like I’m trying to read a book where half the pages are missing yk?
I (male) genuinely don’t know what to do anymore and I need outside perspectives. Before I go insane.
There’s a guy in my life who I care about deeply. (He’s a Missonary) We talk all the time, and sometimes the things he says make me feel like I’m not crazy for thinking there’s something there.
For example, when we were apart and getting on each other’s nerves, he literally said, “I think we are mad cause we are apart from each other. Let’s be real.”
Another time I joked that he was having withdrawals from me and he replied, “You are too.”
I know his whole family, they love me.
When I made a joke about him getting married one day, his response wasn’t “of course it’ll be a girl.” It was, “First of all, who says it’s gonna be a her.”
I constantly make jokes about “ending it all” to which he replies “I love u too much, don’t kys.” Or he enters a panic followed by “I’ll go with you.”
And then there’s the one that really gets me. After joking about finding a new lover, he literally asked me, “Or r u gonna be my one.”
The problem is that every single one of these moments comes with plausible deniability. Everything is wrapped in humor, irony, memes, jokes, or “bro” culture. Nothing is ever direct enough that I can point to it and say, “See? That’s what this is.”
It’s like he keeps pulling back a curtain for a second and then dropping it again.
One moment he sounds like he loves me, misses me, needs me around, calls me his lover, and says things that make my heart stop.
The next moment he’s talking about his future, marriage, eternal families, and the life everyone expects him to have.
I feel like I’m constantly trying to figure out whether I’m seeing the real person behind the curtain or whether I’m reading meaning into things because I love him.
And yes, I do love him. That’s the part I’ve finally admitted to myself.
So what am I supposed to do with this?
Do I take his words seriously? Do I assume it’s all jokes? Do I accept that maybe he cares deeply about me but not in the way I hope? Has anyone else ever had someone who seemed to say everything except the thing they actually meant?
Because I feel like I’m trying to read a book where half the pages are missing yk?
I (male) genuinely don’t know what to do anymore and I need outside perspectives. Before I go insane.
There’s a guy in my life who I care about deeply. (He’s a Missonary) We talk all the time, and sometimes the things he says make me feel like I’m not crazy for thinking there’s something there.
For example, when we were apart and getting on each other’s nerves, he literally said, “I think we are mad cause we are apart from each other. Let’s be real.”
Another time I joked that he was having withdrawals from me and he replied, “You are too.”
I know his whole family, they love me.
When I made a joke about him getting married one day, his response wasn’t “of course it’ll be a girl.” It was, “First of all, who says it’s gonna be a her.”
I constantly make jokes about “ending it all” to which he replies “I love u too much, don’t kys.” Or he enters a panic followed by “I’ll go with you.”
And then there’s the one that really gets me. After joking about finding a new lover, he literally asked me, “Or r u gonna be my one.”
The problem is that every single one of these moments comes with plausible deniability. Everything is wrapped in humor, irony, memes, jokes, or “bro” culture. Nothing is ever direct enough that I can point to it and say, “See? That’s what this is.”
It’s like he keeps pulling back a curtain for a second and then dropping it again.
One moment he sounds like he loves me, misses me, needs me around, calls me his lover, and says things that make my heart stop.
The next moment he’s talking about his future, marriage, eternal families, and the life everyone expects him to have.
I feel like I’m constantly trying to figure out whether I’m seeing the real person behind the curtain or whether I’m reading meaning into things because I love him.
And yes, I do love him. That’s the part I’ve finally admitted to myself.
So what am I supposed to do with this?
Do I take his words seriously? Do I assume it’s all jokes? Do I accept that maybe he cares deeply about me but not in the way I hope? Has anyone else ever had someone who seemed to say everything except the thing they actually meant?
Because I feel like I’m trying to read a book where half the pages are missing yk?