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u/Aume1043

▲ 1 r/depression

Maybe the only way out is death.

I've turned 16 this year, I've been going through depression for like 4 years and it's been way worse this year.

On my 16th birthday I tried to die but I was scared. Now everyday I feel like wanting to end it I tell myself "If I had died on my 16th birthday X thing wouldn't have happened". But man, whenever I tell this to myself I notice that X thing isn't even good, I'm bound to not enjoy anything or just have a momentary good time to later just want feel this horrible again.

Today I heard a classmate jokingly say that dying could be "profitable" cause we wouldn't have to endure such horrible classes in school. I've been thinking about that and maybe death is really the way out.

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u/Aume1043 — 7 days ago
▲ 0 r/depression

I'm a coward.

The more I go into biology the less meaning life has. Evolution, life, everything was formed by a set of coincidences. That means that everything is random and meaningless. Our species is the top of the food chain, we can control populations of other animals, we have every basic need to survive covered and nothing to worry about. But if you think about it, it's useless, there's no objective behind anything, there's no reasoning at all.

The thing is, everyday I keep saying that there's no meaning in life but I'm a coward and I'm scared of everything I know disappearing. I really want to rest forever but as an atheist I believe that nothing will happen after death and that makes me want to retreat from dying.

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u/Aume1043 — 10 days ago
▲ 758 r/OtomeIsekai

The book this manhwa shares a similarity with is called "Marianela" written by Benito Pérez Galdós back in 1878.

  1. Both males are blind and handsome.

-Only difference is Pablo, from Marianela was born blind while Vincent gained his blindness

  1. The female leads are ugly and poor.

-Self explanatory

  1. The males have a "designated partner"

-Vincent has Violet and Pablo is engaged to Florentina

Both of these girls are basically "perfect", they're beautiful, have a good personality,... (Florentina is not a white lotus)

Now, the summary for Marianela is:

>!Nela, an impoverished, physically unattractive orphan who guides Pablo, a wealthy blind man. They fall in love, but when a doctor restores Pablo’s sight, he falls for his beautiful cousin, Florentina, causing Nela to die of heartbreak.!<

Yeah, I was >!pretty disappointed when I read the ending, specially since I read count's secret maid so I thought it'd be a sweet romance. Fuck Pablo.!<

What I believe is that the author of Count's Secret Maid >!Actually read Marianela and thought the ending was sad and a shame so they decided to create a story with a lot of angst inspired by the book but didn't make the ml trash!<

u/Aume1043 — 21 days ago
▲ 2 r/depression

I turn 16 in 2 days. I hate life and I just want to run away from everything and rest forever. At the same time I'm scared of everything I know disappearing and me surviving and then becoming permanently disabled.

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u/Aume1043 — 21 days ago