12 year old bullied for being “too emotional” (and other things) at the new school she just moved to, but she’s still grieving the loss of her little sister.
(TLDR) I need advice on how to help my 12yo with her bully. She’s quick to get emotional (cry or yell) due to the death of her sister. Her bully targets her in games, comments on her appearance, and bribes other kids to ignore or be mean to her. What do I do?
For transparency, I’m the older cousin of the 12 year old that’s getting bullied (I’ll use a fake name for her: Paige). I (25yo F) am currently living with her and her parents while going to school. Her and I are very close and though I’m not her mom, I do parent her where appropriate. For some additional background, Paige’s little sister died from a terminal illness in 2022 at the age of 6. Paige was only 8 at the time, but remembers her sister very well and misses her every day. Paige is in multiple forms of therapy to help her through the traumatic loss (as are her parents), and she has so much support at home. School however, is kind of a nightmare.
This year is Paige’s first year at a new school, her old school was too much of a reminder of her sister, and she suffered a lot of bullying from other kids. This new school was meant to be a fresh start, and in many ways it was! Except for one classmate (I’ll call her Abby) who has targeted Paige since the beginning of the year. Abby is your stereotypical bully; rich kid, dancer, blonde and sassy. My cousin has glasses, is a horse girl, and is at the cusp of a healthy weight (god knows kids are mean to those who aren’t thin.) the bullying consists of comments on appearance, exclusion (bringing things for the entire class expect Paige), telling mutual friends they can’t hang out with her, targeting during games (they play grounders and she’ll bribe classmates with candy or toys to only tag Paige), and calling her a crybaby with anger management. The anger management especially bothers me because Abby will pick on Paige until she reacts, and then make fun of her for reacting. I’ve chaperoned field trips and helped coach teams so I’ve seen it happen in real time.
HOW do I help?? When she’s told the teacher, the bullying gets worse. We’ve tried telling her not to react, but a huge part of therapy is talking about feelings and not bottling them up! Honestly if it was physical, I KNOW my girl would KICK ASS! But it’s only verbal or exclusion. I’ll take any advice, even if it’s unconventional. Hell, I’m broke but I’m buying her name brand to try and help her be more cool.