u/Aviel_444

Just got out of a controlling relationship and want to see what other kinds of behaviors that my ex had that I don’t already know

When me (19f) and my ex (20m) started dating it was so fun we started dating in June of last year and there was so much to do and I just loved it for about the first 5 months, there were virtually no problems. Like he loved hanging out with, me, my family and friends and buying me flowers or just something cute just and loved cuddle, and sleep overs and he just loved me so freaking much And want to say this is my first relationship and I’m a pretty independent person

And then the problems starting happening in an about September maybe. He started to get really clingy like want to do everything and nothing with me clingy, like he didn’t even want to hangout with his friends. And then he wanted to FaceTime or call every second we had and even at work or on the way to work, or if I was with my family just anytime he could and when I brought up that I didn’t want to call or text so often he got annoyed that I didn’t want to do that he would say to be a better girlfriend in like a nice way so I just ignored it bc I thought I was being the unreasonable one. And when I didn’t answer the phone or text back fast enough he would get annoyed a lot

And then he started to say that my clothes were revealing (which they were not, like some of them were like a quarter zip or like a tighter long sleeve or a pair of athletic shorts) and he would get jealous when I went to work in some of those clothes because most of my co workers are males and I couldn’t help that and then sometimes he would show up at my work to say hi but I felt like in a way I knew he was there to see who I worked with and I did go to college at the time and every time I would go to the college for classes, he would want me to FaceTime him walking into the college or he would come with me and he’s not even in school anymore like he would wait for me in the library while I was in class and at the time I didn’t see a problem but now I realize he just wanted to see who I talked to or if I talked to any guys or anything like that because he would get annoyed if I didn’t wanna FaceTime him when I went into school and he would also always want me to FaceTime him when I went into work as well and would also get annoyed if I didn’t wanna FaceTime him

And then the family stuff he would always want me to hang out with his family all the time and if I said, I was busy that day he would get mad and if I went to hang out with my family and did not invite him, he would get mad and say I wasn’t a good girlfriend and like I said at the time, I thought I was unreasonable one and there’s just one time where he was invited to a family thing but he got uninvited for some reason because we just wanted only family he got pissed. I almost broke up with them when this happened but I didn’t. I stayed for like two more months I think. And then just anytime I do not want to FaceTime or text. He would just get pissed and cry. He cried a lot. He was a very emotional person. He would shut down when he got sad.

And I have two jobs and one of them I have to pick up shifts for and he would get annoyed when I would pick up a shift because he wanted to hang out with me or how he would say talk he just love talking to me any second he could. And when I said I would want alone time he would ignore it and still come over anyways or make me come over to his house. Or if I just wanted to hang out with my sisters, he would get annoyed when I wasn’t able to answer the phone call when I was with them. And if he knew that I was going to be in public, he would sometimes make me take photos of my surroundings to see if there’s any guys there. And like if I was in a room of people with him and I didn’t talk to him first, and I talked to someone else he would get really annoyed and say that I wasn’t interested in him anymore

And even if I was busy, he would still get annoyed that I didn’t text him like I couldn’t go five minutes without having to text him.

And if I happen to talk to a guy or like a guy coworker, he would get mad and say I was like micro cheating on him or something, but I wasn’t. I would never cheat. I don’t get why he thought that of me. And he would always make me feel bad whenever I wanted to do something alone because he thought that he would have to do it with me.

And then sex stuff he was obsessed with sex. He would always want to have sex even when I didn’t, but he would never force me, but he would make me feel bad in a way that I did not wanna have sex so I would do anyways sometime, but like it felt good, but it was just too much sometimes

And then towards the end of our relationship, he could tell that my family was starting to think he was a little weird because I was so stressed all the time I wasn’t myself because I wanted to be perfect for him or I was always stressed that he was going to get mad at me and he knew that my sisters were starting to get weirded out and they even said I started be a shallow of myself like I wasn’t talking to them as much or having a personality is what they said so he would always ask me if I talk to anybody or if I talk to my sisters and ask about every single conversation I had just to see if I talked to them about him, but I didn’t. I like to keep that to myself. And he would just be always asking me who I talked to during the day and every single freaking conversation

And then he started to go through my texts to see who I talked to. He would go through my liked TikTok‘s to see what I liked he would go through my Snapchat. He would go through my Instagram. He would go through everything, even my photos, and if there was something he didn’t like he would get pissed and mad and make me feel bad. And let me say I never cheated. I never talked to any other guys. So I don’t even know what he got mad about honestly.

And before I started dating him, I did see someone and he was always like mad that I was with someone before I started dating him and he would like remind me sometimes I was because when I met him, he was a virgin so he was never with anybody, but he was with a girlfriend in high school and he did get cheated on by her, but they never had sex or anything. It was like a friendship type of relationship in a way.

Just overall in the end, I started to realize he was getting controlling and it would’ve gotten worse if I did stay with him so I’m so glad I broke up with him so if anybody’s feeling this way I would leave now if you could

P.S there’s so much more stuff, but I kind of blocked a lot of it out I feel like

And the kicker was, he was a cop🫠

I (19f) broke up with my boyfriend (20m) after 8 months of dating

It’s started out really good. I loved hanging out with him and being with him, but towards the relationship, he was always getting mad at me for me wanting my alone time or not wanting to text them all the time or wanting to hang out with my family without him. And whenever he got mad, he also got really sad and made me feel bad about myself. It made me feel like the bad person when all I wanted was just time to myself.

And it turned me into a different person. More closed off and timid because it made me scared to really tell him how I was feeling cause I thought he would get mad at me and would tell me I didn’t love him enough or that I was selfish for not wanting to hang out with him or text him

And he was so emotional that he would cry all the time and I don’t even know why he would and for some reason whenever I went out to do something by myself, he would always think I was talking to a different man and when I went to school, he’d always want me to FaceTime him while I was walking through the college that I went to, because he thought I was gonna talk to guys and he also didn’t like my sister‘s boyfriend because he was a guy and I talked to him when he was around and he would feel insecure about so many things like if I was in a room full of people and if I talk to other people and not him, he would think I didn’t like him as much or something like that. It was so weird.

And if I would want to cancel plans to do something with my family, he would get pissed and make me feel bad and I would end up not doing that thing with my family or if I did do that thing with my family, he be texting me and telling me that I’m selfish

And sometimes when I was out doing stuff and he couldn’t call me because he was at work, he would make me take pictures of my surroundings to make sure there is no one else there

And whenever I had conversations with people, he would make me recount the entire conversation word by word because he wanted to know what we talked about and he would make me recount my days from when I woke up to when I saw him next and if I left something out, he would get mad because he was like why didn’t you tell me that?

And he would go through my pictures he would go through my liked TikTok’s. He would go through my texts that I had with people. And when I told him I didn’t like when he went through my phone he was like are you hiding something then? Because why else would you say that you don’t want me to go through your phone?

Overall, I just got annoyed so much and I told him that all that annoyed me, but he didn’t change

And I really did think he loved me, but he loved me too much that he was pushing me away, and he was obsessed in a way that I didn’t need

And otherwise, from that he was a great boyfriend he loved doing stuff with me. doing stuff with my family. He liked buying me stuff. He loved taking me out on dates, but it just got way too much and he started to get mad a lot and do all that stuff.

Just fuck