Pulled this card about the future of a relationship. The other cards made perfect sense knowing all the details. But this one has me guessing. What does your intuition tell you?
Advice would be appreciated!♥️
Most months I feel like I'm on a roller coaster!
Back when I was a teenager, I noticed how life sometimes felt so terrible - and then I got my period and everything brightened up like clouds leaving the sky.
Over a decade later, I'm here, still struggling, but more informed🥲
I have ADHD and BPD (both late diagnoses)
which has led me to struggle since I can remember, but especially during my lutheal phase!
I’m not sure my psychiatrist ever fully gave me the PMDD diagnosis - which is not commenly given in my country as far as I know - but he acknowledged it while talking, and put me on an SSRI.
So I feel a bit like an PMDD imposter with a very long and dreadful PMS often hitting at day 19 and lasting until I bleed around 29.
——————
Now, I've been with my partner for almost 8 years. He’s great, and my mental health has improved a lot after meeting him.
He has poured a lot of love and pep-talks into me, and recently said he was so glad to see me happy because I used to cry every day when we met.
I’m taking good care of my mental health and body. I eat well, try to sleep well, move my body, and cultivate positive thoughts in my mind.
I’m doing quite well for the most part… but then my luteal phase hits. Hard.
[TW] I get moody, very sensitive to rejection, irritable, feel worthless and hopeless about my future, like life is just one big fight to stay alive just to suffer.
And don't get me started on how I feel about global news! I cannot bear to hear about suffering It simply breaks my heart. Stress and anxiety penetrate my body like chokwaves when I expose myself to anything stressful.
And I cry. In fact, I called in sick today, because I couldn't stop.
I prefer not to take any big discussions in this state, because I know my glasses are tinted.
He tries to comfort me and we cuddle, but sometimes he gets enough and kindly ask me to snap out of it.
He talks about how I'm feeding awful thoughts that makes me more miserable, and how I'm doing great and have a good life.
He is right sometimes, and I can use this reminder when I'm in the good part of my cycle.
But it's not always so simple. While thoughts can effect hormones, I believe, they cannot fully control them or the body's response to the hormones.
During my PMS/PMDD I feel like my hormones shape my reality, before feelings and thoughts are even created, and I'm just trying my best not to slip into this very dark whole.
Month after month I try to explain the hormonal cycle and how much it can impact some people.
But he doesn't seem to understand.
He says he has good and bad periods too, and keeps talking about thought patterns.
I try my best to be a tolerable partner during this time, and succeed for the most part.
It just makes me feel more sad and lonely that he doesn't seem to truly understand…
Also, my sisters and mom has never struggled with this, they don't even feel their cycles. So I just feel like the little black bleeding sheep in my circle.
I guess I’m wandering, how do you explain PMDD to someone who does not have a cycle or is not affected by it? And how do you help them understand that this isn't simply a matter of "thinking more positively" or choosing not to spiral?
And how is your partners supporting you in helpful ways?
If you read so far - thank you!♥️
Hope it was readable - English is not my first language😌
I can't tell if this is normal. Does anyone with endo recognize these symptoms?
After talking with a doctor who said I could have endometriosis, I can't seem to shake the thought that I actually might. However, I went to a gynecologist who did an ultrasound and said everything looked fine.
The thing is, I don't feel fine.
I'm wondering if I'm overthinking this, and if it's just a normal part of having a menstrual cycle, or if my concerns are actually justified…
My symptoms fluctuate, but generally:
- I get cramps during ovulation and often take painkillers for them.
-I start getting pain again a few days before my period. And sometimes I get brown, clumpy spotting too.
- Days 1 and 2 of my period are usually spent in bed. I take the highest recommended dose of painkillers 3–4 times a day and use heating pads as much as possible.
- If I hold my pee, I get a strange pain that feels like my stomach is crystallizing. And I need to pee very often.
- When I need to poop, I sometimes get cramps so intense that I scream when I'm alone. Stretching has helped, but it has never completely gone away.
- I almost always have pain during sex, although I've wondered whether that could be explained by anxiety and muscle tension.
The rest of the month I just feel extremely fatigued, and sometimes like my abdomen is inflamed or irritated, especially after exercise.
When I was younger, I also bled heavily. My mom would complain about how quickly I went through pads and tampons, and I told her I couldn't control how much I was bleeding.
I got a hormonal IUD in my early 20s and had it removed after two years because I started bleeding after sex. Since then, my bleeding has become much lighter and seems pretty normal, but the pain has gotten worse again.
I also take an SSRI because I struggle with severe PMS/PMDD symptoms.
This whole thing impacts my quality of life, and I keep wondering if this is really just how periods are supposed to be.
My mother and sisters aren't bothered by their periods physically or mentally, so I feel like the odd one out in my family, which makes me question whether what I'm experiencing is normal.
At the same time, when I read stories from people with endometriosis who vomit, pass out, or end up in the hospital because of their pain, I feel like my symptoms don't compare!
I know nobody online can tell me whether I have endometriosis, and that I might need further testing in the future to know for certain.
But does this sound familiar to anyone with endometriosis? Do you think my concerns are justified, or am I overthinking it?
If you took your time to read, thank you so much!
<3 English is not my first language, so I hope it was readable.
Conflicting needs in an old friendship.
I have a decade-old friendship that’s been stressing me out lately, and I’d love some outside perspectives!
I genuinely love and appreciate my friend as a person. They’re loyal, caring, and very relationship-oriented. But our social styles are extremely different.
My friend likes planning things weeks ahead. I’m the opposite - very spontaneous. My energy varies a lot day to day, and having too many plans in my calendar makes me feel stressed and overwhelmed.
The problem is that my friend has been doubling down on planning lately, and I’m starting to feel resentment build up. I don’t want to feel “wrong” for how I naturally operate socially.
I try to accommodate them because I care about them and want to respect their needs, but the friendship has honestly started to stress me out and giving me stomachaches.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve naturally gravitate toward friendships that feel low-pressure, flexible, and compatible. But this is an old friendship, which makes it emotionally harder to navigate.
I guess we were young and didn't know ourselves that well when we met, or the qualities we saw in each other just spoke louder. But now after a decade, this feels like a growing incompatibleity and I don't know how to navigate it.
Another issue is that they want to meet up more often than I do. I have a big social circle and many people I love, despite having limited social energy.
I have to spread my energy thin to prioritise everyone and I already feel like I don't have enough to give.
A lot of my circle is family, and I have already let go of some peripheral friends and say no to new people who want to meet up because I don't have energy.
Yet I want to be able to add new friends to my life, if I really like them, and let them be a priority too. Even if it means I have less time for old friends.
I prefer to avoid conflict, so I haven’t clearly told them that I’d honestly prefer seeing each other less frequent. I think I probably should, but I’m scared of hurting them.
How do you handle friendships where both people care about each other, but have very different needs for closeness, frequency, and planning?