u/BackInBlack2023

I feel like a lot of my parenting revolves around avoiding being like my own mother was like: absent, disinterested, narcissistic. She never showed up to anything and we were always the last to be picked up from anywhere. It feels like she took every opportunity to humiliate or belittle my siblings and I and even seems proud to this day about her attempts to make sure we don’t think we’re anything special (she legit said this in trying to give me parenting advice). Shes the direct cause of my anxiety, depression and very low self esteem. She lives nearby and I tolerate her because she seems interested in helping out with my kids. She once berated me in front of them and knows now to never do so again.

I am also not sure that my current approach is the right one either: praising my daughters at all opportunities, dropping everything to attend any event, spending way too much time and money on their birthdays, losing my grip on everything else (work, social life, my own hobbies). It’s exhausting and I’m not sure it’s setting the best example either - just creating spoiled kids who see me as a doormat. I’ve gone above and beyond also to set a good example otherwise - I have a phd and am in a prestigious and high paid job.

So.. for those who as adults love their moms and want to share everything with them, what are some characteristics of your mom that has made you feel that way about her?

I have a wonderful and supportive husband btw but this is really just about myself and me trying to fix my own childhood trauma through my own parenting and that’s why he doesn’t feature in this post!

I feel like a lot of my parenting revolves around avoiding being like my own mother was like: absent, disinterested, narcissistic. She never showed up to anything and we were always the last to be picked up from anywhere. It feels like she took every opportunity to humiliate or belittle my siblings and I and even seems proud to this day about her attempts to make sure we don’t think we’re anything special (she legit said this in trying to give me parenting advice). Shes the direct cause of my anxiety, depression and very low self esteem. She lives nearby and I tolerate her because she seems interested in helping out with my kids. She once berated me in front of them and knows now to never do so again.

I am also not sure that my current approach is the right one either: praising my daughters at all opportunities, dropping everything to attend any event, spending way too much time and money on their birthdays, losing my grip on everything else (work, social life, my own hobbies). It’s exhausting and I’m not sure it’s setting the best example either - just creating spoiled kids who see me as a doormat. I’ve gone above and beyond also to set a good example otherwise - I have a phd and am in a prestigious and high paid job.

So.. for those who as adults love their moms and want to share everything with them, what are some characteristics of your mom that has made you feel that way about her?

I have a wonderful and supportive husband btw but this is really just about myself and me trying to fix my own childhood trauma through my own parenting and that’s why he doesn’t feature in this post!

I feel like a lot of my parenting revolves around avoiding being like my own mother was like: absent, disinterested, narcissistic. She never showed up to anything and we were always the last to be picked up from anywhere. It feels like she took every opportunity to humiliate or belittle my siblings and I and even seems proud to this day about her attempts to make sure we don’t think we’re anything special (she legit said this in trying to give me parenting advice). Shes the direct cause of my anxiety, depression and very low self esteem. She lives nearby and I tolerate her because she seems interested in helping out with my kids. She once berated me in front of them and knows now to never do so again.

I am also not sure that my current approach is the right one either: praising my daughters at all opportunities, dropping everything to attend any event, spending way too much time and money on their birthdays, losing my grip on everything else (work, social life, my own hobbies). It’s exhausting and I’m not sure it’s setting the best example either - just creating spoiled kids who see me as a doormat. I’ve gone above and beyond also to set a good example otherwise - I have a phd and am in a prestigious and high paid job.

So.. for those who as adults love their moms and want to share everything with them, what are some characteristics of your mom that has made you feel that way about her?

I have a wonderful and supportive husband btw but this is really just about myself and me trying to fix my own childhood trauma through my own parenting and that’s why he doesn’t feature in this post!