u/Background-Army-5413

So I struggle to put it into words but I like to visualise like the start of the universe to my best understanding and I try to like map out the evolution of the universe but sped up to my best abilities like the simulations when you fast forward and I feel like I get to a point where I get thrown into myself and I wonder if anyone has similar experiences.

I swear it remember standing in my cot and realising that im wondering what is outside and it was absolutely terrifying and I feel like I get that same fear alot in my life like what the hell? I am a person that exists i feel like its actually terrifying that we all exist and no one else seems to question it in their lives?

Capitalism worked for a good 100 years, but now look at us surely theres a way to level it back down fairly for the people, whilst making it still beneficial for both parties the employee and the employer, it really doesn't work when it ends up with a select few controlling everything again. Its actually a mess. Life got better till it didnt. Or is it not capitalism and just what the government turned it into after 100 years?

Capitalism worked for a good 100 years, but now look at us surely theres a way to level it back down fairly for the people, whilst making it still beneficial for both.

So I live with my gf and I have my own place and she lived with me, ive lived on my own before and I just end up surrounded in my own filth tbh, but with her ill do stuff and I just wish I could exist more on my.own but I literally just dont feel real and I dont know what I should be doing or when.

Idk what its like for everyone else, as I know everyone is different. But I know some people, especially late diagnosed people will have had that burning question for a good while. Now theres the going back over 28 years of life. Plenty of moments in childhood getting told off for things I couldn't help, the grounding, the bannings, plenty of other stuff I wouldn't like to mention. How do we deal with it? Like knowing you cant grasp things to do with ourselves. The mask like whats me and what's not me, its to do with what I feel inside right?

Im from the north West of England and quite a small town tbf. So I have mostly a northern accent, but I find myself annoying myself as I started sayinh some words with a Manchester twang, or sometimes Ill accidentally start speaking with a Liverpool accent (amazing stim tbf) but now I have a Lithuanian gf and ive somehow learned ro roll rs but I cant seem to actually control it lmfao.

How are you for following rules? 🤔

I always try and stick to the rules and when people break them it annoys me, at first. If they do it long enough I feel I cant help but join in. Some rules I think are plain stupid and not sure why they are rules. So I figured id ask how you guys are. Do you follow all rules? What rules do you break? Do you assess whether the rules even make sense?

I always try and stick to the rules and when people break them it annoys me, at first. If they do it long enough I feel I cant help but join in. Some rules I think are plain stupid and not sure why they are rules. So I figured id ask how you guys are. Do you follow all rules? What rules do you break? Do you assess whether the rules even make sense?

Im 28 got diagnosed this year, anyone struggle looking back at their life and those moments when people shout at you for not getting basics. Spent alot of my life wanting to be the same. Spent alot of my life being told I can do it and not to let anyone down. But then I always let everyone down. The words people use have changed but I absolutely feel like a burden. I was a kitchen manager and im sure the people in the company had an idea I was disabled. I had to.ask for advice on almost any choice I made regarding the kitchen. The day after my diagnosis I was told I had to step down other wise id be investigated so I did and it was only afyer the fact I relaised I was played becsuse its not right. Nothings been done I was told its my word against my bosses and then I had a meltdown and was investigated for it. Now my cat is being put to sleep. I feel like ive lost everything and nothing has fallen it to place. I got kicked out of my parents by my stepdad on Christmas eve because I made too much noise. So I ended up missing work. Currently on sick have no money and I really dont understand how it can get better. Does anyone know what I can actually do or how to improve or what. I really have no.clue.

I really dont want to continue to exist.

ive just handed my notice in at work. Im really sick of this planet, the world is absolutely full of predators, I spent 10 years working my way up km from an associate.

I got diagnosed with autism on the 10th of March this year and nothinghas improved i had ti.step.down from my jpb as km because i didnt know why i couldn't function anymore. (Brcsuse i was burnt out from.doing any random day to accomifate the staff covering the shifts for the stagf and sacrifising my holidays so i didbt have to send the staff home and everuone got paid.)

I got burnt out so i ended up walking of shift. Then i got told i gad ti step down and the area manager said it was all my fault. So its valid? When I had no support for the 1 and half years I was doing the job.

I didnt know I was disabled and I didnt know why I was struggling but they all stepped backed. I asked for advice and the advice they gave me was dirt poor to the point where everyone hated me but I didnt even realise it.

Im just a burden on this world. And if I think im doing well it wont ge long till someone takes it away from me and then says its my own fault.

I got kicked out of my parents house Christmas eve for making to much noise on the phone. I theb had to move out at the wnd of January. I live on my own i cant look atter myself and maintain my job. have struggled for so long.

Wondering why I didn't fit in and now I know and there is no cure so what do I do.

I dont see it getting better.

BTW IF YOURE AUTISTIC DONT GET A JOB AT SPOONS EVERY SINGLE MANAGER WILL BE NICE TO YOUR FACE BUT BLAME YOU IF YOU OR EVEN THEY DO SOMETHING WRONG, YOULL BE THE SCAPEGOAT.